Muggles Are Not Able To REBLOG This.

a lil sketchy cumplane comic i drew for an art trade event on the bingyuan server!

your brain is my chewtoy omg omg

Thinking about cumplane... scumcumplane...?

The peak lords (sy!sqq and sqh) going on a trip or mission. On that journey, they are met with a plant that entrapped people into tripping over vine-like tentacles, and into their mouth. Their head is shapped like a Venus fly trap—it is constantly open flat on the ground unless it was processing its meal—camouflaged by the greenery that surrounds it.

Sqq was able to notice the plant before anyone got tripped into its jaw simply because he smelled cup ramen. (Something that doesn't exist in ancient China or PIDW.) The plant entices people/animals by letting off a scent that people yearn, whether its perfume or food. If it is inhaled a lot, it can even cause hallucinations and/or paralysis.

Sqh just forgot that he even created the plant for some random, forgotten wife that was devoured by said plant, and lost their qi to papapa with lbh. (Fortunately, in some sense, it was a consented papapa as the random, forgotten wife was lured into the plant's jaw because she was hallucinating lbh after smelling "lbh's" scent for way too long.) It wasn't until sqh literally saw sqq getting his leg devoured did it instantaneously come to mind.

Had sqq, been a second late from jumping away, he would've been completely devoured. However, just one leg was enough for the venus trap to quickly devour sqq's qi. He groans in pain, as the hairs on the plant pierced into his leg.

In the same instant, the vine-like tentacles had yanked sqh up into the air, leaving him hanging upside down. It was probably its next meal after it was done with sqq. Sqh cuts off the entangling vines, sliding down the same vines he had cut before he rolls onto the floor, and lands on one knee acting like some super hero. Practically scoffing proudly because heh, wasn't that so cool of him? (Not the right time to be joking, though!) As sqh gets slammed to the side by another vine. Sqq had laughed at sqh because of how ridiculously stupid this whole situation was, and as a coping mechanism.

The fool coughs, like shit. The attack had knocked the wind out of his lungs. He hackles and wheezes, inhaling the plant's scent way more than necessary. He was lying prone on the leaves that had helped camouflaged the venus trap. It is especially coated with honey-like substance that acts like a sticky trap for insects or mices. He's stuck against the leaf. He covers his mouth with the end of his robe sleeves. Not that it's of any help because of the hallucination/paralysis-inducing trap. Suddenly, he remembered another key point of the venus trap.

His head swung up, eyes widened as he watches the very moment sqq had lost consciousness. "Fuck, Cucumber-bro!" He hissed underneath his breath.

"Wake up...!" He shouts, coughing. "Wake up!" He shouts again, with more urgency. His face twisted in anguish and pain as he couldn't move, he could only watch helplessly as the jaws of the venus trap released sqq's leg, and vines wiggled around sqq's limbs. (It was acting like some tentacle hentai...) That's not the key point, the key point is that the vines have this ability—oh. It needn't be elaborated as sqh gets a first class view of what exactly the vines do.

Sqq echoed...? It was like watching a rock plop into water, causing the surface of the water to riddle wavy lines. It was like watching a player lag back and forth. Sqq's soul—or rather sy's soul—had been ripped away from sqq's body. The vines that had previously been entangling sqq's body dropped him, and was now entangling sy's soul.

"Wake up before your soul gets taken away, Shen Qingqiu!" Unable to move a limb, sqh shouts, screams, and cuss to no avail. He's unable to strip the robes away as the he is being held down by vines. This is not the type of shitty porno he wrote! Hell, why did he just now realize that he doesn't know sy's real name aside from Peerless Cucumber?

And just seconds before the venus trap had open its jaws to chomp sy's soul entirely, the vines were cut into multiple pieces. Its jaw completely cut in half. Green robes fluttered, grabbing ahold of the soul before landing on their one good leg.

Sy's soul glitched like some broken TV frizzing with rgb colors. It cackles as if a fuzz had popped. The soul had previously been a cyan green color. It is now that of a normal human. Their hair is no longer long or ebony, its more slightly gray. Their skin blushed red, they huffed a fever. Their long lashes contorted into their scrunched face, they kind of look adorable... Hell, who the hell is that? It doesn't look like sqq at all, which makes sense as the one that had been occupying sqq this whole time wasn't sqq.

But then, who the hell is actually occupying sqq now...? Of course, who else but the original goods? The original sqq has sy in his arms, looking down at him as if he was looking at some bug. At any moment, he looked like he'll drop sy into the hole where the venus trap had once been hiding in. However, that never comes. He merely stares at sy, looking rather displeased.

With the venus trap dead, the honey-like substance that had once entrapped sqh prone to the leaf had lost its effect. Its unknown how it works, really. May hap it was the results of qi-depletion. Whatever, the details of how the plant works are not that important.

Sqh runs to sqq? Sy? With whatever adrenaline helping him. He looks up at sqq and down at sy before he just hugs the both of them. "Thank you. Oh my fucking god. Thank you, thank you for being alive." It's unknown who exactly he's saying that to...

And then, I never got past this idea! Lmao, it simply loops in my brain, never continuing

#stopschoolshootings https://www.instagram.com/p/BvVXoJmnqEu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l38wneewhw75

Shen Qingqiu: Whatcha got there?

Shang Qinghua, scribbling on a scroll: Well you know how I'm the weakest peak lord? I got an idea that will change that

Shen Qingqiu: So you're going to actually train?

Shang Qinghua: Nope, I got a better idea

Shen Qingqiu, peaking over at the scroll: Airplane, that's a gun

Shang Qinghua: Yep!

immigrant parents do act like they all lived in caves with no water, food, or electricity and they had to walk 20 miles through snow just to get to school everyday 😂😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/Btr1yg9nDqq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1pk7kogvop4ze

i choked on my sliced watermelon reading this and my roommate had to save me 💀

This thread is hysterical.

Cumplane doodles! Pretty sure I made all of these last year so have them in one post :P

lookie this tiny bean baby. aww my fat cat🐱 #cat #kitty #cutecats #beancat https://www.instagram.com/p/Budw9mgncob/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ybhkgefg77ps

"Why are you putting this on me?" Shang Qinghua whined, face twisting attractively. Wow, Shen Qingqiu did not realize he looked that pretty from the outside. "I'm not responsible for every single thing that happens, okay!"

Shen Qingqiu glared at him before turning around and flouncing back into Shang Qinghua's bedchambers to try and figure out how to put his hair up. His friend's hair was pretty similar to Binghe's, but he had never had to do it for himself before. Shang Qinghua followed him, idly playing with his favorite fan.

A blue screen flickered in front of him as soon as they both stepped inside.

[Scenario started: Shizun Swap! Hosts have switched bodies and they must find a way to switch back or risk being stuck like this forever!]

"What."

[Good luck, Host!]

No amount of threats brought the shitty thing back. Shen Qingqiu didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Why did the Systems love to torment them like this?

"Cucumber-bro!" Shang Qinghua whispered fiercely, pounding on the door. "Bro, open up!"

He smiled nervously at an An Ding disciple peering at him from behind a stack of scrolls. Upon seeing the disciple's eyes widen, he quickly blanked his face, though he continued to sweat nervously.

Right, he wasn't allowed to do anything but stare menacingly or smirk right now, while in this body.

Finally, the door opened a crack and a hand reached out to grab him by the robes, pulling him inside. Shang Qinghua quickly smoothed out his now-crumpled green robes and looked up, coming face to face with... himself.

"Shang Qinghua. What the fuck did you do?" Shen Qingqiu asked, hazel eyes flashing.

there was this whole paragraph in svsss (from binghe's pov... maybe an extra?) about how when sqq Wasn't scowling or purposefully looking aloof, he had a very gentle face.. so naturally i'm reading this as "shen jiu has resting princess face". like, big dark bambi eyes with long lashes and slightly pouty lips, which absolutely helped him as a child sell the whole "pitiful, innocent baby" thing (which he WAS! he was literally an orphaned baby!!!) along with his crocodile tears, but which he DETESTS as an adult (associates it with weakness, also it seems like he would have some deep-seeded discomfort with men realising he's a certain type of very pretty after qjl). so he purposefully shoves on his own Resting Bitch Face and is never actually really resting his face when around others, until sy comes along and starts using his body.

sy on the other hand... i think it'd be funny if he had sterner features and the actual RBF in his og body, and he was always a little exasperated by it because he's NICE in real life! it's just on the INTERNET he's a dick!