Sometimes I Just Want To Go Up In Someone's Face When They Ignore Me

everyone in america has guns but suddenly????no one is using them???

pronouns are fee/fo/fi/fum and boy do i smell an englishman

*lovingly throws up a half digested bird at your doorstep* have you heard of our new life insurance policy?

i peaked at six years old when i went up to my mom and told her i wanted to get pregnant by a girl and not a boy. she said it's not possible so i sobbed until i passed out

mothers store all their love in pickles and tupperware

they essentially consider you to be the type of homely bakery that sells the bread they love

It's so nice being on tumblr because you don't even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you're good at rebloging posts they like

At the parking lot.

when i was in the sixth grade i discovered nietzche and honestly that's where it all went wrong