When I Want Fluff/angst Fics And All I’m Getting Is Smut

Matthew talking about Reid.

Woo-Hoo! Go Reid! 🤓✊🏻

real

i may or may not have a type….

Crying

GOOD hope he has a happy ending🙏

birds of a feather : ground rules

warning/s : suggestive content and smut, minors DNI

OCTOBER 18, 10:32 PM

location— atsumu miya’s car

following the end of your conversation with tobio, you throw your cellphone to the floor, agitated at how it turned out. you don’t know what it is that you were expecting, but definitely not the blatant rejection you faced. if only he would’ve rendered you a chance to explain yourself, maybe you could’ve roped him into hearing an acceptable justification. not that you didn’t try to explain yourself, it seems, you just failed to do a good job at it, or rather, there was no appropriate justification on your end.

the thud resulting from your cellphone hitting the ground makes atsumu turn his neck in the direction of the sound. he notices the cellphone laying on the ground, then turns to look at you and notices the frown stitched into your face.

atsumu puts two and two together and concludes that the conversation between you and tobio didn’t go the way you expected it to. he doesn’t want to implore, but ends up inquiring anyways, “what’s wrong, yn?”

“damn him, that tobio.” you grunt, continuing to complain, “i hate him so much.”

atsumu flicks your forehead, rolling his eyes, “i’m sure you don’t.”

“he’s your best friend, after all.” he stresses on the term as he drags you closer to himself, lifting you to put you on his lap.

he puts his arms around your waist, postulating, “he’ll come around eventually.”

atsumu nuzzles his head between your boobs, and you reflexively begin running your fingers through his hair, grumbling, “he could’ve at least heard me out.”

“some best friend he is.” you hiss, rolling your eyes.

atsumu slaps your back, taunting you, “we could say the same about you.”

“you ditched him for a random guy, after all.” he mentions, raising his head to smirk at you.

you purse your lips, mumbling, “you’re not just some guy, tsumu.” you lift his head to place a quick kiss on his lips. just as you’re about to withdraw, he pulls you in for a second kiss. his brisk hands unzip your dress and lugs away from the kiss, smugly smiling at you as he reaches to remove your hair-clip, allowing your hair to flow down your back.

he runs his hand through your hair, putting his forehead against yours, whispering against your lips, “i really hope i’m not.”

you kiss him on the cheek and descend to leave a trail of your kisses from his cheek right down to his neck. you open up the buttons of his shirt, giving him a hickey underneath his clavicle. you grin at him once you’re done, locking lips with him once again. he pulls away, fingers still meddling with your hair, chuckling, “marking your territory once again, are you?”

he points to the corner of his lip, brandishing the hickey you gave him earlier, before pulling you closer to him. he shifts your hair to the other side, pressing his lips against your neck, leaving a mark, making you groan. he claims, his warm breath condensing against the cold skin of your neck, “you’re mine, kitten.”

“only mine.” he asserts, kissing the blade of your shoulder, leaving another mark against your skin.

you nod, accepting his claim as you pull your body away from his. you rub your thumb against the skin around the corner of his lips, tainted by you, smugly smiling at him as you lock in his gaze, “i thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“i’m just a man.” he shrugs, kissing you on the cheek, then on the neck, followed by your shoulder, confessing, “i’m no fool to deny the touch of a woman like you.”

he drags your sleeves down, pulling the dress off your torso to reveal your brasier. he unlocks the hooks in a moment using a single hand, and rips the garment away from your skin, throwing it on the front seat. it reveals your breast. he slides your dress further down to reveal your abdomen.

he begins by kissing the undersurface of your boobs, then goes on to kiss your nipples, one after the other. the feeling of his soft kisses against your sore spot fires your nerve endings, turning you on, inciting you whimper. he then slides his hand underneath your dress, putting it against the inside of your thigh.

“in the car?” you shoot him a look, wide eyed, “are you insane?”

“shh.” he puts a finger to his lips, demanding no reluctance from your end before he moves his hand upwards along the skin of your thighs, making you ticklish as he approaches the strap of your underwear. he pulls at it, making you flinch when he releases his fingers the elastic recoils against your skin.

he engages his fingers with the strap of your underwear once again, pulling it down to clear his access. he advances his fingers towards your cunt, targeting your clitoris first and foremost. you moan loudly when his fingers run against your sore spot. he repeats the motion of his fingers yet again, demanding you to moan for a second time in row.

atsumu laughs, satisfied as his manoeuvre proves to be fruitful. he inserts his fingers inside your pussy, skilfully moving them around, stimulating you in an attempt to get you to cum. the motion of his fingers inside your cunt irks you to whimper over and over again. you finally cum when he brushes his fingers past your clitoris once again.

he doesn’t stop there. he intends on stimulating you further more. his fingers find themselves hovering around the same spot knowing far to well where your body prefers to be touched by him. he teases you by gently rubbing his fingers against your clit. you whimper, “t-tsumu, more.”

you mumble, huffing as you feel yourself cum and the cum dripping down your legs onto his pants, “p-please, more.”

atsumu laughs, razzing you as he wipes the cum off his pants and paints it on your lower lip, “now lick, kitten.” you don’t follow his order, too stupefied as your hormones are surging and all you want is more of him and the pleasure he has to offer you.

atsumu licks the cum off your lip himself, smirking as he gulps it down, praising you, “my kitten tastes so good.”

he confesses, entwining his fingers with your own, kissing your knuckle, “so glad you’re all mine to take.”

“aren’t you, now?” he drops your hand, questioning as he cups your chin, withholding your gaze, expecting you to answer.

you hum, still dazed, agreeing, “yes, all yours.”

“i’m pleasuring you so well, kitten.” he sneers at you, putting his fingers inside your needy cunt once again, urging you to cum as he glides along your walls and skilfully rolls his fingers inside you.

you cum with his fingers still inside your pussy. your fluid drips down his digits. he pulls his sticky fingers out of your cunt, and then puts them in once again, dictating, “you know you need to pleasure me too.”

“i know i—.” you nod, agreeing with him, but he cuts your words short, taking his fingers out of your pussy and cupping your chin with the same hand that was inside you earlier.

he licks the liquid off his fingers with his hand still on your face, giving you a taste of yourself when he kisses you. the sweet taste of your own mess dissipates on the surface of your tongue. he withdraws, putting his fingers on your clitoris, squeezing the spot, demanding, “kitten, i’m hard now.”

“and you better pleasure me.” he orders, smirking as you whine loudly, cumming once again, dirtying his fingers for a second time.

he withdraws his fingers and forces them in your mouth, letting you have another taste of yourself. you squelch, but you lick the cum off his digits. he stares you in the eyes with a smug look painting his face, while you’re in a complete haze, staring at him blankly as he removes his fingers from your mouth. he kisses you on the lips, appreciating, “you’re a good kitten.”

“now be better and make me cum.” he instructs, squeezing and nibbling at your nipples, coaxing you to whimper in pain and in pleasure.

you nod, accepting his demand of being pleasured by you. he throws you off him and points to his pants gesturing you to unbuckle and take them off. you struggle all over the place trying to unlock his belt and loosen his pants. you final achieve your goal, revealing his large, hard and veiny penis that stares you down, waiting to be put either inside your mouth, or your cunt, whatever seems easier to get into.

atsumu pushes you down, putting pressure on your shoulder as he lays you flat on the car seat. he climbs on top you, ready to insert his dick inside your cunt. he spreads your legs apart, entwines his fingers with your own, and pins your hands on either side of your head, against the car seat. he begins to put his penis inside your vagina, gently sliding it in. you feel his large self scaling your walls as his dick enters your cunt, and you feel it slide outside of you too.

although he’s been inside of you before, but because he’s so big, the feeling of his dick moving inside and outside of you hurts you and pleasures you all the same. he puts his wood inside of your cunt once again, hoping to stimulate your g spot and incite an orgasm on your end.

he continues the motion of his dick, sliding it inside your cunt, then pulling it out of you, and at a certain point, you’re overstimulated, moaning and groaning continuously. while he’s still inside of you, you experience a sexual high, an orgasm incoming, and you cum, tainting his dick. aroused by your neediness, atsumu cums as well, carelessly inside of you.

he takes his dick out of you, leaning in to kiss you on the lips. he gives you a break when he notices his erection is gone and his dick has softened. meanwhile you’re breathless and all over the place, but also overstimulated enough to cum once again. with the liquid dripping down your thighs, he makes an effort to lick it off and clean up for you.

once he’s done, he puts his weight on top of you, resting his head against your breasts squishing them under his weight. he places his hand on your cheek, patting it, praising you, “you were a good girl tonight.”

“i’m hungry.” you mumble as your stomach groans, making atsumu burst out in laughter.

he cracks a joke, “looks like i wasn’t enough for you.”

“clearly not.” you chuckle, joining in his humour, smiling tiredly at his face.

you surmise, gauging the state of the two of you, “we also need a shower.”

“mhm.” atsumu hums, nuzzling his nose between your breasts. he then slides up and kisses you on the lips before getting off you.

he takes a spot at the end of seat, putting on his underwear and his pant. he collects your underwear from the floor of the car and your brasier from the front seat, handing you the pair in order to slide the garments on. you stretch your hand and receive the garments, requesting, “i’m sore, can you pull me up?”

“sure.” he nods as he grabs your hand and drag you off the car seat.

he asks, gesturing at your brasier, remembering you had a hard time putting it on earlier, “need any help?”

you shake your head, signaling that you’d prefer to be aided by him. you turn your back to him, sliding your arms into the straps of your brasier. you collect your hair and tie it into a ponytail, allowing maximum visibility to make the task easier for him. he puts the hooks into their respective eyes, cupping your boobs, kissing your cheek as he teases you, “just making sure they’re secured.”

“you don’t need to.” you take his hands off your breasts, rolling your eyes.

you slide your underwear into position, then pull up your dress into the correct position, turning around once again, requesting, “can you zip it?”

“sure.” atsumu agrees to do it for you, helping you out.

he suggests, nervous hand scratching the back of his neck, unsure if you’ll consent, “you should spend the night at my place.”

“i don’t mean to force you,” he starts blabbering nervously, stuttering around his words, “i mean you can shower then we can have some food and sleep.”

you can’t help but laugh out loud at the nervous mess that he instantly became at the mere thought of inviting you over to his place. you find it ironic because he had no trouble thrusting his dick inside of you not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times so far. but now that he has to invite you to spend the night, he’s getting cold feet. you don’t think it’s embarrassing on his behalf, just comedic.

he isn’t sure what warranted your laugh, but it makes his more nervous, and he continues jabbering, “i don’t have anything fancy at home right now, but we can have some ramen.”

you keep staring at him with an amused expression on your face, letting him prattle and stumble around his multiple suggestions. you’re still in disbelief that this is the same man who has made sexual advances on you on multiple occasions and succeeded in subduing you every single time.

“maybe we watch a movie or two before heading to bed.” he goes on, rephrasing, “no, but a lot warm shower first, of course.”

you kiss him on the lips to shut him up for once and for all. he reciprocates, kissing you back. his hand finds itself dragging your sleeve down once again. but you slap his mischievous arm, halting him, “enough.”

“let’s go to your place already.” you push him off you, leaning toward the back door to open it up so that he can get to the driver’s seat.

“yea, let’s go.” atsumu mutters as jumps out of the back seat. he closes the door behind him, simultaneously opening the door to the front seat. he puts himself into the driver’s position and keys the car in order to get the engine going. he begins driving in the direction of his apartment.

you request, pointing to the stereo, “put on some music. won’t you, tsumu?”

“yes, kitten, whatever you want me to do.” he complies, turning the knob to raise the volume, proceeding to select a radio station at random.

in the backseat, you’re bemused at his choice of music, but before you can retaliate and coerce him to switch stations, your body, extremely sore from all the pleasure seeking tonight, drifts off to sleep almost instantly.

atsumu notices when his terrible choice of music doesn’t incite a response from you and he’s met with dead silence from the back seat. he turns around to check on you, only to find you passed out in your spot, neck hanging in the air without any support.

he pulls his car to the side of the road and gets out of his seat. he opens the back door to position your body such that you lay flat on the backseat in a rather comfortable position, as opposed to your previous one. he jumps back into the driver’s seat and begins driving towards home, reaching out to lower the volume of the stereo, declining the possibility of disturbing you while you’re sleep.

OCTOBER 18, 11:25 PM

location— atsumu’s apartment complex

once you reach atsumu’s apartment complex, he parks the car in his designated spot. he gets off to open the back door and grabs your purse first, sliding it over his arm. he then lifts your body off the seat as subtly as possible, such that you aren’t woken up by his movement. he carries you all the way to his flat, supervising diligently, making sure that any move he makes doesn’t lug you away from your slumber.

standing in front of the door to his apartment, he finds himself in a dilemma, unsure of how to reach for his key in order to open the door. with his hands busy holding you close, the task seems unachievable. left with no option but to disturb you, he whispers into your ear, “you need to wake up, kitten.”

“i’m sorry.” he apologises, kissing your forehead.

when you don’t wake up in the first go, he repeats, whispering into your ear, “come on, kitten.”

“it’s time to wake up.”

you feel his hot breath against your ear drum, forcing you awake. you flutter your eyes open, finding yourself in his arms, quite confused, unsure of the circumstances. after analysing for a moment, you realise you must’ve fallen asleep and he must’ve had to carry you all the way to his apartment.

you mumble, voice sleepy, “i’m sorry.”

“you can let me down now.” you say, yawning, jumping out of his arms, “i’ll be fine.”

you put your head against his shoulder, sleepy eyes on the verge of closure, and he supports you by the waist as he reaches for the key and opens the lock. he pushes the door open, entering himself. then, he take your hand, leading you in. closing the door behind him, he drops down to his knees to free your feet from your footwear.

you step back in hesitance, chirping, “you don’t have to.”

“please, i can do it myself.” you insist, squatting down to release the straps of your shoes, but you’re so sleepy, you lose your balance and fall to the ground.

you squeal, “ah, shit.”

“well that was certainly embarrassing.” you chuckle at yourself, rubbing the nape of your neck nervously. atsumu doesn’t laugh at you, he only makes an effort to help you out. he takes your foot in his hand, unbuckles your ankle strap and takes the heel off. one followed by the other.

he gets off the ground himself, then holds out a hand for you to take. you accept, putting your palm in his. he grips you by the hand and helps you, pulling you up. he instantly lifts you in his arms. you’re taken by surprise in the first few seconds but after a while, you don’t mind in the least. your muscles are far too sore to be put to work and if the cause for the same is aiding you with the commute, you aren’t going to be one to complain against it.

he carries you inside his apartment, leaving the genkan, and takes you straight to his bedroom. he puts your figure on the bed. without saying a word, he walks into his closet.

a muffled voice speaks from the inside, “i know you’re very tired, but i’m going to draw you a bath right now.”

“you should clean up.” he recommends.

he walks out of his closet with a towel, a pair of night suit that belongs to a female and one of his own hoodies. he puts the towel on the chair next to his mater bed, then places the two options on the bed sheet in the space next to you, pointing at the night suit, informing, “that belongs to rin.”

“and that’s mine.” he points to his hoodie.

he offers you a choice, “choose whichever you want.”

he shrugs, explaining himself, “i understand that rin’s clothes may make you uncomfortable, but i only brought them out because you’re the same size as her.”

“it’s okay.” you purse your lips at him, declaring, “i think i’m gonna go with your hoodie.”

he nods, quickly clearing rin’s outfit from the bed, “of course, not a problem.”

“the bathroom is right there.” he points to a door, guiding you to the bathroom.

you drop your back against the bed, babbling as you yawn, closing your eyes, “you go first.”

“i’m going to lie down for a while.” you say, turning on your side, drifting to sleep.

he nods, leaving you on the bed as he walks into the bathroom, “alright, i’ll be right back.”

atsumu takes a shower first, changing into a set of fresh clothes. he comes out of the bathroom to find that you’re still asleep in the same position he left you in. he sits beside you and leans closer to wake you up, when he notices your light snores. he chuckles to himself because he finds it absolutely adorable.

he tickles your feet, whispering in your ear, “it’s your turn now, kitten.”

you’re jolted awake by the ticklish sensation spreading across your foot plantar aspect. you whine, reaching out to slap his hand, “what the hell.”

“stop it.” you grunt, rubbing your eyes open.

he takes you by the waist and drags you out of bed. he picks up the towel from the chair, putting it on your shoulder.

he gives you a light push in the direction of the bathroom, instructing, “go take a shower, i’ll be in the kitchen.”

“okay, i’ll go.” you maffle, yawning as you enter his bathroom.

you close the door behind you, while he walks out of the bedroom and trails towards the kitchen to make preparations for dinner for two.

once you’re done, you put on his hoodie, tie your hair into the towel for the water to be absorbed by the fabric, and walk out of his bedroom. you navigate your path to the kitchen and find atsumu waiting on you, two packets of shin ramyun, a pot to cook it in and cutlery to serve, as well as other necessities arranged on the island.

“i was expecting the food to be ready by the time i made it out of the shower.” you approach him, sighing in disappointment when you find the packets of ramen untouched.

he raises his brow at you, wrapping an arm around your waist, dragging you closer, “is that why you took your sweet time, kitten?”

“precisely.” you nod, adding to his sarcastic remark, walking out of his hold to lift the pot off the marble top.

you take it to the sink to fill it up with water. he follows, turning the tap for you while you hold the pot underneath the stream of water. once it’s filled a little under the brim, he closes the tap and you place to pot on the stove. he turns on the heat, adjusting it to maximum so that the water will come to a boil faster.

“dry my hair, i’ll cook for us.” you instruct, releasing the towel that binds your hair. you hand it to him.

he accepts your request, putting the towel over your head, massaging your hair as he makes sure the remainder of the water is soaked up by the towel that has already done a good enough job. you turn around to grab the packets of ramen from the kitchen island. atsumu follows your lead, focusing on drying your hair while you move back to the stove.

you ask, cutting open the first packet of ramen to retrieve the cake of noodles, “how the hell did you come out of the bathroom with dry hair, anyways?”

“one, mine is short.” he justifies, dropping the towel over your shoulder. he pinches your cheek, mentioning, “two, i used a hairdryer.”

you sigh, slightly disappointed in yourself, “seems i completely missed it.”

“you can use it now if you’d like.” he suggests, picking the towel off your shoulder, putting it on your head once again, continuing to dry your hair.

you decline, insisting, “no, thanks. i should cook the ramen first.” you cut open the second pack to retrieve the second cake of noodles.

once the water comes to a boil, you add the raw noodles to the pot, minimising the heat. you take the tastemakers out of both the packets, putting them to the side. you peek around, looking for the bin.

you ask, holding out the waste in front of his face, “where do i throw this?”

he drops the towel on your head, collecting the waste from your hand and walks over to the bin in the corner of the kitchen to discard it. you continue keeping a watch over the noodles being cooked in the pot. he returns and begins massaging your hair once again.

“you’ve done enough.” you state, turning around to face him. you take the towel off your head and walk to the dining table in order to temporarily place it on a chair for it to dry a little.

you walk back to the stove to check on the ramen. you take a pair of chopsticks and pick a noodle out of the pot. you blow some air over it, then chew on the noodle to confirm that it’s cooked. once you’re sure, you turn off the heat and drain the water, adding the tastemaker to the pot. you mix it around, making sure it spreads evenly, before you serve the noodles in two plates.

you grab the noodles with your pair of chopsticks, and turn around to offer the bite to atsumu, “here, have this.”

atsumu takes up your offer, complimenting your skills, “good job, chef.”

“but nothing tastes as good as you, kitten.” he sneers at you, then closes the distance between the two of you to place a kiss on you lips.

you scrunch your face, disgusted, complaining, “really, tsumu? you had no business saying that right before dinner.”

“my bad, kitten.” he sighs, apologising.

he relieves your hand of the plate and places it next to the other plate that has been served. he wraps his arms around your waist, locking you in his hold. he kisses you, thrusting his tongue inside your mouth, playing around. you pull back instantly, wiping the saliva dripping from the corner of your lips.

“really?” you roll your eyes, whining in disbelief that he still wants more for the night after doing you twice already.

he mumbles, pushing the loose strands of your hair behind your ear, “of course, only if you want to.”

“my body is sore, i can’t.” you decline, pushing him off you. you move on to grab your plate of ramen and start walking towards his couch.

you reason with him, “besides, i need to finish my ramen before it gets cold.”

“of course.” he grieves, his smug smile lowering into a frown as he approaches his own plate of noodles and trails to the couch to join you for dinner.

he puts his plate on the coffee table, putting his arms around your waist, lugging you closer to himself. you’re busy eating your ramen while he kisses your cheek, then your neck, unwilling to let you go, unwilling to touch his share of the food. he isn’t desperate to eat his ramen, he’s only desperate for you. meanwhile you don’t think you can take any more action for the night.

he hugs your tighter, canoodling with you, mumbling, “you’re so cute, kitten.”

he puts his chin on your breasts, mentioning, “so squish, just like obi chan.”

at the mention of her name, obi chan appears, meowing. she jumps on top of the sofa, taking a spot on your lap. atsumu pats her butt, frowning, “obi chan, leave. we’re busy.” the cat gets off, agitated and starts walking in the direction of the bedroom.

“don’t act like a baby.” you warn him, offering a bite out of your own plate, “have the food before it gets cold, will you?”

he takes your plate away, putting it on the coffee table. you lean closer to the table to grab a hold of it, but he stops you and pulls the hoodie off you, revealing that you’re wearing nothing underneath.

“idiot.” you screech, quickly shielding your breasts using your hands.

he apologises, bowing down to you, “i’m sorry i didn’t know you were wearing nothing underneath.”

“i washed my bra and left it to dry.” you explain, vigorously pulling the hoodie out of his grasp to put it on.

he smirks, shrugging, “well nothing i haven’t seen before.” you slap his cheek, albeit not vigorously.

he pretends to be hurt, grunting, “ouch.”

“deserved.” you announce, grabbing your plate of noodles, continuing to dine.

you instruct atsumu, pointing at his untouched plate, “eat.”

he doesn’t bother following your order, instead he nuzzles his nose against your freshly washed hair, speaking in an undertone, “i’ll have it later.”

“right now, i just want you.” he reveals, interrupting the bite of noodles you’re about to gulp down, when he cranes his neck, putting it in the way to kiss you on the lips.

you return his kiss before shoving his face aside. you quake at him, playfully slapping his cheek, then pinching it, “you’re so clingy for someone who doesn’t even want me in his life.”

he wraps his arms around you again, pulling you in closer. you turn your head to kiss his cheek before going back to your dinner. he interjects your next bite, chowing it down himself, laughing at the offensive look that his action put across your face. you roll your eyes, preparing another bite for him, holding it out for him to take.

“i never said i don’t want you.” he confesses, moving your hair out of his way to nibble at your ear, stating, “i just don’t want a girlfriend right now.”

atsumu instantly drops down on one knee. you pay him no heed, knowing all too well that nothing worthwhile is going you drop out of his mouth over the span of the rest of the night. you continue eating the final remnants from your plate of ramen.

still on his knees, he grabs a bite of noodles from his bowl, holding it out to you, proposing, “miss yn, though i cannot make you my girlfriend right now, would you like to be my girlfriend who’s not my girlfriend?”

you know exactly what it means. it doesn’t take you long to figure out that he just wants to keep you around for the sex until further notice. he may proceed to make you his girlfriend or just use and drop you, whatever the future him decides. you want to deny deny deny, but you recall that you had a conversation regarding this issue with him prior this night and still ended up sleeping with him a while later. you’re definitely not god’s strongest soldier when it comes to this man.

“that makes no sense.” you roll your eyes, flicking his forehead, ordering, “get off the damn floor now.”

“fool.” you chastise him.

he stands up, taking his spot next to you, caging you in his embrace once again, nuzzling against you neck, mumbling in a dejected tone, “i’m sad that you rejected me.”

“you just asked me to be your fuck buddy.” you run your fingers through his hair, commenting, “of course i rejected you.”

he looks up at you, smirking at your face, making a claim based on your past experiences, “you and i both know you’ll be weak for me any time i ask you for it.”

“fair enough.” you accept, making no attempt to hide your lack of rigidity when it comes to man clinging onto you.

you give it a thought. you shouldn’t, but you still do. you look at the situation from all angles and you conclude that the worst that can happen is that you end up falling for a man who possibly won’t reciprocate your sentiments. that will probably equal to a few days of crying and whining to shoyou and yachi. but if the tables turn and you successfully make him fall in love with you, you’ll be a winner. the chances of the latter becoming a reality are rare, but you’re willing to take a chance as long as the probably of it isn’t zero.

it sounds stupid, but you can’t deny that you’ll never be able to decline atsumu’s approaches. if you’re to run into him ten thousand more times along the course of your lifetime, you’ll end up in his arms every single time, allowing him to take advantage of you as he pleases. you’re just that weak for some reason, lacking a spine. hence, you choose to no longer see the harm in accepting his shit proposal.

you welcome his offer, muttering, “whatever, i don’t care if we do this.”

“great.” he rejoices, embracing you tighter, kissing your head vigorously multiple times.

you interject his joy, “but i have a few conditions.”

“nevermind.” you drop the idea of mapping any ground rules regarding your arrangement, not that you had planned any to begin with. you didn’t even know you’d end up in an agreement of such nature with him. you were just about to make up some rules at random.

but you still lay down one single rule, “let’s keep our contact to a minimum.”

“we’ll restrict our contact only to our arrangement.” you make a declaration, holding out your hand to sign a treaty with the opposing party, “agreed?”

“agreed.” atsumu grins at you, shaking your hand, utterly satisfied in himself for bagging a girl so effortlessly.

彡 yn said yes to atsumu because of her big fat crush on him, other than the fact that she can’t say no to him.

彡 yn and atsumu ended up watching her favourite movie (how to train a dragon) before they went to bed.

彡 atsumu ended up asking yn if she’d like to spend the day with him and despite her own rule, she ended up saying yes.

彡 yn’s waffles tasted bland because she forgot to add sugar to the batter. so she had to compensate with syrup.

彡 atsumu posted yn on his official account on purpose. he very much intended to do so.

彡 chiyo is extremely happy about atsumu and yn being a thing because she likes tobio.

彡 atsumu picked out the lego set specifically for yn because she’s an artist and he wanted to give her something she would be interested in.

彡 for a change atsumu and yn didn’t end up sleeping together after their date. he just dropped her off at her dorms.

previous : ninth circle of shame

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🐰 imma take my leave.

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we all joke about and objectify this man, but do we stop to think how sad his story is? he grew up friendless and brutally bullied for being a literal genius. constantly picked on by his coworkers, and he’s never in on the joke. he’s always being laughed at, never laughed with because no one understands his existentialist humor. he never has plans or places to go on the weekend after work. he goes to work then goes to his lonely home with all his books to keep him company. on occasion, he haunts the chess table at the park or meets with an old professor. when he does find love, he’s so cruelly stripped of it. spencer reid, the lonely genius who learned of love too late and loss too soon.

i miss when ppl used to do social media aus, i will start doing those and idc what anyone thinks

take the edge off. [suna rintarou x f!reader] chapter three.

>>You struggle with your weight and body image, but Suna extensively and thoroughly undoes all the damage done by other guys.

or

You haven't gotten laid in over a year, and your best friend takes it upon himself to fix that for you.<<

series status: [complete]

previous. || masterlist. || next.

a/n: we are now entering yn's suna-obsessed arc aewfafawef theyre just so horrendously down bad for each other i swear

[feel free to buy me a cup of coffee!]

---------------------------------------

Suna’s decided lack of caution comes with the discovery of two pieces of rather dangerous information. 

The first is that you very quickly become used to the feeling of sharing a bed with someone, to the point of relying on it. In the days after that fateful weekend, you fall asleep with Suna’s head on your chest and wake up with his arm draped across your waist, his face buried in the crook of your neck. You aren’t sure how you’d never once learned in passing that he’s the type of man to pull you closer and hold tight when you try to move away, but that knowledge is bad for you. 

It’s bad for you to find out, despite your subtle hints that he doesn’t need to do this every night, that he’s adamant about it. That even on the nights where nothing happens between you, he still drives you home from work with the unspoken expectation that he won’t be leaving. That those nights are the worst, truthfully, because he spends them pressing lingering kisses into your skin, his body laid between your thighs only so he can bury his face into the side of your neck and whisper that you look ‘ extra pretty ’ lounging in his t-shirt on your bed. 

And when you call him out for it, asking, between warm kisses on flushed skin, why he’s pushing this entirely separate boundary with you when the agreement was strictly sex, it’s bad for you that all he does is smile against you and whisper, in a voice that betrays a warning, ‘ I told you I was done being careful ’. 

It seems you’d been woefully unprepared for what he’d meant when he’d said he would fix things. 

The second bit of knowledge, equally – if not more – dangerous, is that Suna Rintarou is beautiful in a way that’s forbidden when he blushes. That getting him nervous enough to trigger that flush of embarrassment is easier than you’d thought it would be. That all it takes is for you to treat him the way he treats you, soft and sweet and quiet.

A whisper against his skin, the words ‘ you’re so pretty ’ after you kiss him perfectly sufficient in making his ears warm.

A smile, golden and warm, coupled with the admission of ‘ I missed you’ when he picks you up at work all it really takes to make him scratch at his brow with a shaky laugh, his face a little redder than before.

A question, in the middle of kissing him on his couch, his hands anchored to your waist as you sit comfortably in his lap. 

“ Will you tell me what you thought about? ” 

“Mm?” He responds, fingers dancing up to the clasp of your bra and tugging curiously. 

You breathe your consent, whole and eager, and shiver when he unhooks it. “In college.”

His hand twitches against your skin, and you almost smile, because he’s pulling away with wide eyes.

“In college…?” He blinks, and heat starts to spread across his cheeks. You watch it go, entranced, and nod.

“Please?” 

When he swallows nervously and flicks his eyes between yours before looking away, you know you would do anything to see that exact face again and again, as long as he’ll let you.

“Uh-” He smiles, shaking his head. “No, I don’t…” He pauses, thinking, and then shakes his head more forcefully. “No, definitely not.”

You pout, watching how his eyes come back to you just to track it. “Why not?”

“Because it’s fucking embarrassing,” He laughs. “Because I was a horny college kid.”

You tilt your head at him with a smile, combing your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. “Just how horny are we talking here?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I do,” You press. “That’s why I’m asking.”

“No,” He groans, and you’re certain that whatever he’s thinking must be bad, because his whole face is radiating warmth. “It’s… I don’t know how you’ll take it-”

“Alright,” You concede, shifting comfortably on his lap and smiling when he clamps onto your hips to still you, something warm pressing between your thighs. “Can I just get some detail? A crumb or two?” You laugh weakly. “It’s been on my mind all week.” 

He sighs, running a hand through his hair with a pained smile. “…what d’you wanna know?” 

“How many times? And when?” You start, launching into questions with a bright smile. “What did I do to make it happen? What did you think about-“ 

“O- kay ,” He interrupts with a laugh. “I’m not answering that one-“ When you pout again, he shrugs. “You want crumbs or not?” 

He laughs when you dejectedly mumble, ‘ I like crumbs ’, and then there’s a moment of silence, one where he eyes you and clearly weighs all his options. You wait as patiently as you can, scanning his face for clues. 

Finally, he sighs. 

“So, the first time-”

“Out of how many?” 

He blinks, and you watch his ears grow red as he scratches at his brow. “How am I s’posed to remember that…?” 

Your face splits in a wide grin. “You lost count.” 

He scowls, embarrassed. “Four of those times were completely on you.”

“Four! Why four?”

“You gonna let me talk?” 

You smile unconvincingly.

“The first one was the accident.” He meets your eyes and then looks away quickly. “You texted me, I was close. That’s it.”

“That’s what you said last time,” You argue. “Give me more than that.”

He groans. “We’d just hung out, and you sent the pictures we took together.“ He shakes his head, going quiet for a minute. “I dunno, I always thought you had a pretty smile, I guess. And I was already close…” 

You stare.

“My smile made you come?” 

Suna shuts his eyes, smiling wryly. “Said your name and everything.” 

It’s your turn to flush, his admission making your nerves tingle. “I like it when you say my name.” 

He peeks up at you, starting to smile and bringing your face close to his slowly. “I know you do.” He kisses you carefully, the push of his lips gentle. “But, at the time, I really just wanted to throw myself out a window.” 

You grin, kissing him again before asking, “And then? The second time?” 

He knocks his forehead softly against yours. “There was that heatwave, before third year.” 

Of course it would have been during the heatwave. “Was it the lack of clothes, Suna? Too much skin?” You tease, your smile growing when he laughs. 

“It was the dress. ” He shakes his head. “ Fucking summer dress .” 

You blink, vaguely remembering a yellow summer dress that you’d been forced to wear. It was the only thing that hadn’t made you want to tear your hair out in that heat.

More importantly, you remember that being the first day you’d ever wondered if Suna was angry with you, because he’d spent the entire afternoon sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and refusing to look at you, his knee bouncing in agitation.

“What about the summer dress?” You ask, immensely interested in this wonderful new insight.

“Not answering that.” 

“But-” 

“No.” He cuts you off with a smack of a kiss. “The third time was when we went to the beach, and the twins made you sit in my lap in the car.” 

You’re surprised by that, because you remember that day quite clearly – Aran and Kita piled into the backseat with Suna, everyone talking over each other and bickering about nothing. You remember being nervous about sitting between Suna’s legs on the bumpy ride there, because it was weird to sit so intimately with him. And because he’d put his hands on your thighs and kept them there the whole time, keeping you from flying around. You remember worrying that your thighs were too big, that they were big but not plush in the way boys like, and that Suna would be the first to find this out about you.

“Really? You seemed totally fine.”

“You had your ass pressed against me the entire time,” He jokes. 

“I know, I was there,” You argue, flushing. “But you were so calm about it.” 

“Yeah, probably because I was listing volleyball stats in my head to keep sane, and you were not making it better at all with how you kept shifting and moving and being very annoyingly soft in my arms.” 

You bark out a laugh. “You kept squeezing my thighs to keep me steady! It was nerve-wracking!” 

He blinks, brow furrowed, and a full beat passes.

And then he runs a hand over his face with a groan. “Oh, my God.”

You smack him playfully on the chest, smiling. “What!” 

He starts to laugh, hiding behind his hand. “I was probably feeling you up.” 

“Feeling me…“ You balk. “No way were you feeling me up.” 

“No?” He sets his hands right on your thighs and starts to squeeze, kneading and pulling and dragging his blunt nails lightly down your skin. You shiver visibly and watch him move, taking in how he spreads the pads of his fingers across your thighs and presses you down into his lap. “No way at all?” 

He slides his hands up to your waist and drags you flush against him, his lips brushing yours when you put your hands on his chest. “I was being a terrible friend, thinking about doing things to you in front of all our other friends, and you thought I was just keeping you steady ?” He smiles, and you feel it in places you shouldn’t. “That’s so sweet of you.” 

“ Tell me ,” You breathe, leaning toward him, your nerves screaming for him. “Tell me what you were thinking about.” 

He just tilts his head, green eyes flashing as he watches your mouth come close to his. “ Never .” 

You whine, and he cuts it short with a heated push of his lips against yours. 

“Please, Rin,” You try, and you feel him tense under your hands.

“You’re funny,” He laughs. “Using my name like that.” 

“I want you to tell me.”

“You’ll have to be more convincing than that,” He settles, smiling at you in a wicked, beautiful way. “But, for now, no.” He kisses you once, breathing it into your mouth. “ Don’t ask me again .” 

You sigh, pressing your forehead to his and feeling somewhere between annoyed that he’d said no and incredibly aroused that he’d spoken to you like that. “Then tell me about the fourth time.” 

That flash of embarrassment comes back, and the warm flush that heats your skin, too. He looks like he’s going to resist, so you dip your head and push your mouth against his. 

“Tell me.” 

“You-” He laughs, smiling weakly. “-were tying your shoes.” 

You blink, pulling away. “Huh?”

“It’s so stupid.” He groans, shaking his head. “You came over to my desk – in that random elective we took together – while I was packing my shit. You literally just bent down in front of me to tie your shoes, that was it.” His laugh turns delirious, as though retelling the story is enough to make him lose his mind. “You were talking about the assignment and tying your shoes in front of my desk, and then you looked up at me-” He drops his head to your shoulder, sighing. “ God, when you looked up at me… ” 

You blink rapidly, feeling your face warm as you listen to how he talks about you. 

“That’s when I knew I was fucked,” He breathes against your skin, and you feel when he shakes his head lightly against you.

Your heart races just next to where he has his face pressed into your skin. “You thought about me blowing you, didn’t you?” You tease, your body humming under his touch. 

He sighs, tightening his hold on you. “That’s not how I would have put it,” He admits, whispering like he doesn’t want you to hear it.

You swallow, your limbs starting to go a bit numb. “It’s not?”

He shakes his head slowly. “It’s too…” He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close and burying his face in your neck. You slide your fingers into his hair and scratch your nails against him gently, feeling when he shivers. “...nice.” 

Your stomach drops, and you pull away enough to look down at him. “What does that mean?”

He purses his lips, unable to meet your eyes. You watch his face redden.

“This is why I didn’t want you to know,” He complains, his voice strained, and his knee starts to bounce nervously, jostling you in his lap. “I never really cared with other girls, but I don’t want to turn you off.”

There’s a piece of you that burns with jealousy that there are girls in the world – in this city , even – that know something about Suna Rintarou that you don’t. But a bigger part of you is desperate to hear what he has to say.

“You won’t,” You assure him. “I promise you won’t.”

He scratches his neck, thinking. “You mentioned that first night that you like things… well, rough.” He swallows. “But I don’t know how rough you meant, so I didn’t want to push it-”

Your lips part while you stare down at him.

“Tell me,” You whisper to him, grabbing his face when he starts to shake his head. “Tell me,” You repeat. “You want me to beg? I will.” 

He breathes out a laugh, but you feel him harden slightly against your inner thigh, so you push.

“You said you wanted me to have everything I want, that you were mad that I haven’t yet,” You say, feeling his hands tighten on your waist. 

“I did,” He breathes, voice tight. “But-”

“Well, I want this,” You lean forward, pressing your lips against his. His hand cups the back of your head, and he kisses you softly. You pull away just enough to look into his eyes, so green and so close to giving you what you want. 

“ I want you to give me this, Rin .” 

Your stomach flips and your body fills with that fluttery feeling you’re starting to get around him, because you can pinpoint the exact moment you convince him, his hesitant eyes hardening into something that almost makes you nervous.

That night, when he presses your face into his mattress and makes you scream his name, his fingers are tangled brutally in your hair and your hands are clinging uselessly to his bed frame. When you come around him, your back tight against his chest, he’s got one hand wrapped around your throat and the other pressing thumbprint bruises into your hip with how tight he’s holding you. 

When he mumbles the word ‘ mine’ against the shell of your ear just before moaning your name and spilling into you, you know things with Suna Rintarou have changed.

–

In the week that follows, the change in your relationship manifests in ways you hadn’t expected.

On Monday, he tells you he has to go out of town in a week.

“There’s an art convention happening in Tokyo,” He says, circling you in the kitchen to make coffee. “They invited me to speak at a panel, something about art styles and careers.”

“That’s amazing!” You turn at the stove, beaming up at him. When he just shrugs, you nudge him. “That’s really cool, Rin. You should be more excited.”

He flushes and shakes his head with a laugh, and you realize just a moment too late that you’d called him Rin. 

You clear your throat, turning back to make sure your food doesn’t burn. He’s refused breakfast every day for the past week, but you’ve learned that if you set a simple piece of toast next to his coffee cup, it mysteriously disappears when you’re not looking.

Still, cooking for just yourself in his apartment is a new habit, one that he encourages by restocking his fridge every few days with foods you know he doesn’t like. 

“How long will you be gone?” You ask, plating your breakfast and following him to the couch.

“A week.” He pulls his laptop out from under the coffee table, kicking his feet up. “You should stay,” He says without looking up.

You blink, still processing the fact that it had felt like a punch in the gut to learn that he’d be gone an entire week. “Stay where?”

“Here.” 

“Here?”

He purses his lips, glancing at you playfully. “Yes, here .” 

You roll your eyes. “I have an apartment, Suna.”

If he thinks anything of the name change, he doesn’t say it. He just goes back to his laptop, and you see that he’s booking flights. “I’m aware. But if you stay here, then you can make everything smell like you.”

You stare, wondering if he realizes what he’s saying. That he wants you to live here while he’s gone, that he wants you to leave traces of yourself for him to find later.

“Uh,” You warm, staring down at your breakfast with unseeing eyes. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

You can see the question in his eyes when they flick to you quickly. “Alright. Well, regardless,” He sighs, nodding toward the little key bowl in his entryway while typing away. “Take the car. I don’t want you on the train after work.”

You have nothing to say to that, your ears thrumming with your heartbeat as you remind yourself that Suna’s just a friend.

–

On Tuesday, Osamu kicks you out of the shop, piling your arms high with containers of baked goods. They’re new recipes for Suna to sample and give his brutally honest opinion on, but the twin had only kicked you out in the middle of the working day because you wouldn’t stop asking him about his date with Yachi. You’d prodded about everything – what he’d wore, what they’d ordered to eat, what they’d talked about – and he’d given you every single detail with only a little embarrassment.

But the second you’d suggested he walk down the road to her shop to say hello, he’d all but put his foot on your ass and launched you out of the store.

“Don’t come back until closing,” He warns, shutting the jingling door in your face.

When you walk into Suna’s shop thirty minutes later, juggling boxes full of cakes and pastries, he’s finishing up with a client that should be on the cover of a magazine.

“Oh,” He says in surprise, eyes widening when he sees you. “Hey.” 

You stand there, feeling painfully out of place while the woman looks you over. He’d tattooed her ribcage, and she’s got one hand on his shoulder to keep her arm lifted while he wraps the finished piece.

“Samu kicked me out,” You say dumbly, jostling the boxes with an awkward laugh. That hand she’s got on him is making your blood pressure rise. “I can just leave these in your office and go.” 

Suna doesn’t see the woman look between you, too busy narrowing his eyes at you. “I’ll be done in a sec,” He says carefully, nodding toward his office. “Wanna wait for me?” 

“You seem busy.”

It’s cold enough to draw his eyebrows up high on his forehead, and the woman’s lips lift in the ghost of a smirk. You want to curl up and die.

“I’m not,” He says cleanly, finally seeming to realize that you’re not looking at him but over his shoulder at the girl who’s eyeing you like you’re less than her. “Give me two minutes, and then I’m all yours.”

His smile is knowing when your gaze flicks back to him, and you catch a tinge of annoyance coloring the woman’s smile. 

You say nothing, turning to head to the back and trying to stop the twinge of pleasure that comes when you hear him call out to his assistant.

“ Block my schedule, Suki, will you?”

“You got it – for Y/n?”

“Who else?” 

When he joins you in his office, you’re rolling your eyes. “That was cheesy.”

“Incredibly,” He smiles, dropping down on the couch next to you. “But you were acting jealous, so, obviously, the situation was dire.” 

“I was not-” You scoff. “I was not jealous .” 

“No, no, of course not.” He reaches to unstack the boxes you’d left on the table, opening one. There’s a set of muffins inside, all different flavors. “Just looked like you wanted to stab her with one of my tattoo needles, that’s all.” 

“ She had her hand on your shoulder ,” You grumble, breaking a piece off of the muffin that you’re certain is blueberry lemon. You hand him the rest, ignoring the smile he’s giving you. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” He takes a bite, and you do the same. It’s a little too sweet, and the way Suna’s face pinches tells you he feels the same. You make a note of it for Osamu. “It won’t happen again,” He continues, setting the pastry down.

“No,” You sigh, feeling guilty. “You don’t have to accommodate me. I’m just being bratty, it’s fine.” Your exes had never liked your insecure streak, claiming it made you look childish.

But Suna displays no sign of feeling the same, just shrugging as he reaches for another muffin. “It upset you, right?” When you say nothing, he glances at you with a small smile. “Okay, so it won’t happen again. Simple.” 

There’s a knock on the door, one you barely hear while trying to understand how that conversation had been so easy. He stands, pulling the door open.

“Oh. What’s up?” He says, a bit confused. 

You glance up, finding his client there smiling up at him beautifully. Her eyes meet yours, and a brow lifts curiously. You look down at yourself, finding muffin crumbs all over your shirt, and you brush them off with an embarrassed flush. 

“I just wanted to give you your tip in person,” The woman says, her voice dripping in honey. She presses a wad of cash into his palm and then lays a perfectly manicured hand on his bicep. “You were really good. Can I come see you again?”

You swallow, ears burning. But Suna just calmly pulls away from her, stepping back to hand the cash to you while her hand flops uselessly at her side. You take the money with wide eyes.

“Guess dinner’s on me tonight,” He smiles down at you and ignores the girl briefly, and you see there’s a hint of irritation in his expression. “I was starting to feel guilty with you cooking every night.” 

The woman watches the money pass from Suna’s hand to yours, and you swear she’s imagining several ways to kill you and get away with it. 

He turns back to her and smiles politely. “I’d definitely be down to work with you again, but you can just make appointments and leave payment with Suki in the future. I suck at keeping track of it all.” 

You almost feel bad for how hard he shuts her down, but you’re too busy wondering what alternate universe you’ve walked into. Suki’s voice in the hall only adds to the chaos.

“ You’re still here?”

Suna laughs, because she’s adding ‘ I swear, I go to the bathroom for two minutes and you get ambushed. ’ 

The girl fumbles, her composure falling when she looks back at Suki. “I-”

“ And you can’t come back here like this ,” Suki interrupts, and you wish so badly that you could see her sassy little face. “ This is a private area .” 

You busy yourself with opening cake boxes so your pleased grin is hidden behind your hair. You don’t see how the moment ends, but Suna’s closing the door soon and coming back to the couch with a sigh.

“How was that?” He asks, reaching for a plastic fork so he can dig into the layer cake you’re presenting him with. He hums when he tastes it, nodding. “‘s good.”

You nod, putting it down. “You were horrible and I enjoyed every second.” 

“Perfect, then,” He says, reaching for another open cake box. “What do you want for dinner?”

You’re quiet, remembering how his client had looked down on you, you with your clothes that don’t fit right and the muffin crumbs on your shirt. Your stomach turns with the distantly familiar and always unpleasant urge to be hard on yourself.

It slips out, despite years of learning how to coach yourself out of it.

“I’m not too hungry today,” You start, brushing lint from your pants. “The cake is filling me u- mm- ” 

Your face squishes between his fingers, cutting you short and forcing you to look up at him. He stares back and squeezes your face hard.

“I don’t like where your head just went,” He says plainly, and you take it as a warning. 

“ Suna- ”

“I’m buying us dinner. You’re going to eat it, right?” He lifts a brow.

You swallow, mumbling through his hold. “ Right. ”

“Good,” He smiles. “Curry sound good?”

You blink rapidly when he forces you to nod, because he’s only allowing one answer. “ I like curry. ”

“Yeah.” He finally lets you go, but you stay close, breathing him in while he holds eye contact. “You do.” He holds his fork between you, eyes flicking to the cake he’d just tasted. “Try it. It’s good.”

You take it and move almost mechanically to spear into the dessert. Only when you lift the bite to your mouth does he stop watching you.

Wordlessly, he pulls his phone from his pocket and leans back against the couch, opening his delivery apps to look for curry. You watch him scroll away, hit again with that strange realization that you’ll miss him desperately next week.

–

On Wednesday, he starts making jokes about your relationship.

A text lights up your phone just as you’re explaining the many tea options in your shop to a young girl who looks wonderfully excited to try something new. You ignore the text for a moment, finishing up with her and then leaving her to talk with her parents. 

You reach for your phone, refusing to acknowledge that you’d hoped it’d be him.

[12:56 PM]

Sunarin : i have to go to the bank to take out cash for my trip

Sunarin : go with me?

You smile, a bit warmed by him asking you to do something so domestic with him. Sleeping semi-permanently in his bed and drinking your coffee together in the morning is arguably far more domestic than this, but there’s something different about being in public with him. The idea of your dynamic stretching into places where other people can see it makes your nerves light up.

You : scared to face the bank tellers yourself?

Sunarin : terrified

Sunarin : go with me, ill buy you a sweet treat after

You : you need to put the internet down for a few days

You : all those tiktoks about gfs and their sweet treats are not about us

Sunarin : yes they are

Sunarin : go with me

You stare down at nothing, dissociating as you process what he’d just said. You hear the girl deciding at the counter that she wants to try the french vanilla earl grey that you’d said was popular, so you type out a quick response and throw your phone on the counter.

You : smh fine

You come back after ringing the family up for their drinks, Haru tearing the order from the printer beside you.

Sunarin : see? youre just a sweet treat gf

When he picks you up after work, your face burns and your stomach flutters the entire way to the bank. He slides his hand over your thigh halfway there, and you hide your face in your hands.

He doesn’t ask what’s making you nervous, and you don’t ask what he’d meant. You have the distinct feeling that you don’t need to.

At the bank, the teller mistakenly calls you his girlfriend while making small talk, and he doesn’t correct her. 

When he pulls you into his lap that night, you’re overheating and trembling just a little bit as you start to really wonder what you are to him. There’s a piece of you that foolishly thinks that him being rough in bed will remind you that you aren’t anything, really. That your friends with benefits arrangement is as it was before.

But he doesn’t fuck you the way you expect him to. He just buries his fingers in your hair and breathes the words ‘Stop overthinking this’ into your ear. You relax against him, and then he fucks you slow, rewarding you for listening and talking you over the edge with him in a way that makes you want more.

You want more with him.

–

Thursday is uneventful – or, at least you think it is, because you have no time in the day to think or process anything that’s happening with you and Suna. The Black Jackals are playing, so your shop has a line out the door and around the corner. You and Haru play a game he likes to call ‘Dodge or Die’, where you have to be perfect at avoiding each other or risk spilling someone’s drink all over the other’s head. 

Suna texts you a few times throughout the day, but you don’t get a chance to look at them until it’s nearly closing time. When you check, you see that there’s just a couple memes and a separate reminder to eat and drink water, because he knows exactly what kind of day you’re having. 

He doesn’t make another joke about you being his girlfriend, and – although you weren’t expecting a high frequency of that, considering it’s been less than 24 hours – you wonder if maybe you’d overdone it last night. You wonder if you’d betrayed your feelings too much, if he’d seen that you’d taken it as more than a joke and now he’s laying off.

You sit in your office, staring at the wall as those thoughts spin circles around your head, and you dread having to text him back.

He calls before you have time to figure out what to say, your phone lighting up on your desk.

Your heart drops.

“Hello?”

“ Done with work? ”

His voice makes your palms sweat, and you recognize that that’s a terrible sign for you keeping your feelings in check.

“Yeah,” You sigh. “It was exhausting, but a busy day’s always good.”

“ And we have celebration drinks tomorrow .”

You vaguely recall Atsumu texting your group chat after the game, declaring a get-together with the Black Jackals at some bar downtown tomorrow night.

“Oh, yeah… That’ll be fun.” You cringe, hearing how awkward you sound. There’s a pause, one where you think he must be deciding what to say.

“ Do you want me to come pick you up? Or do you want space? ”

You drop your head to your hand, tears pricking behind your eyes. The fact that he’s asking means he’d noticed – because he always notices – that something’s different with you now. You’re terrified to find out what that means on his end.

“Uhm,” Your voice wavers, and you want to throw your phone in the trash. “Maybe space…?”

It’s better. It’s best there’s space. Maybe space would fix things – force your head back onto your shoulders. Bring you back down to reality, the one where Suna is entirely out of your league and you’re better off not becoming delusional about your relationship with him.

“ Okay ,” He says, and then there’s quiet. “ Do you want me to ask you again? ” 

He makes you feel safe in a way that scares you.

“... Yes ,” You whisper, because you’re certain your voice would crack otherwise.

“ Do you want me to pick you up? ”

“Yes.” 

You were right. Your voice does crack.

“ Give me ten minutes to close up? And then I’ll head over. ”

“Okay.” 

Later, when he leads you by the hand to his couch and sits you down, it’s between his legs, his arms belted tight around your middle and holding your back against his chest. You watch TV in silence, and then – when you finally gather the courage to face him – you turn in place, climbing into his lap and burying your face in his neck. He hugs you tight, waiting.

“ ‘m sorry ,” You mumble, heartbeat thrumming in your veins. He presses his head to your shoulder, arms warm around you. 

“For what?”

“Running.”

You feel him smile. 

“Does that mean you’ll stop running?”

“I can try,” You laugh weakly.

“If I ask you to,” He starts, sighing into your skin. “Will you?”

You tighten your hold on him and nod, pressing a hesitant kiss to his pulse point. “I’ll do my best.”

“ Promise ?” He wraps his fingers in your hair. “Promise you’ll stay?”

Your face burns, but you nod again. “Promise.”

“ That’s my girl ,” He whispers.

You desperately want him to mean that.

–

On Friday morning, you wake to Suna’s lips on your throat. You feel him climbing between your thighs, and it takes several seconds to gain your bearings. You blink rapidly, feeling his hands sliding under your shirt, palms hot on your skin.

“ Mm ?” You ask, fingers carding into his hair on instinct.

“ Sorry ,” He murmurs. “ Woke up a little needy .” He kisses down the length of your throat, hands wandering, unseen. “ You look really good in my shirt. ” 

You shiver, glancing at the clock on his bedside table. It’s almost 9. “We don’t have time-”

“I know,” He says quickly, warm hands cupping your breasts. “But, can we?” He kisses you, lips full and tempting. “I just… I’m not gonna see you all day, and, when I do see you, it’s gonna be at the bar with other people, and after last night, I just want-” He buries his face in your neck, letting out an unhinged laugh. “ Fuck .” 

“What?” You breathe, already lifting your hips by the time he cautiously hooks his fingers into your panties. You find, unsurprisingly, that you like it most when he blushes the way he is now. “What is it?”

“‘ s embarrassing ,” He mumbles, preoccupying himself with watching how your underwear looks sliding down your thighs. 

You laugh quietly. “I think we’re past that.”

“I dunno how to say it.”

“Try.” 

He groans, and you use your grip on his hair to force him to look at you. You kiss him, mumbling ‘ Try ’ against his lips. 

He hides in your neck again, pushing his boxers down to his knees blindly. He slides his cock between your folds, sighing heatedly when you shiver and whisper his name. 

“I want to-” He rocks against you, a quiet moan falling past his lips when he feels how wet you’re getting. You feel more than hear when he, in a voice that wavers just enough to warm you, finally says what’s on his mind. “ Wanna come inside you .”

Your heart jumps. “You do that every time,” You say, knowing full well that that’s not what he’s saying.

He shakes his head anyway, swallowing after a moment. “ Wanna ruin you .”

There it is. What he really wants.

Your head explodes in white noise, your fingers going numb where you hold tight to him.

The head of his cock nudges against your entrance, and he’s lifting his head to kiss you once, both your lips parting in silent moans when he slips just inside.

“Yes,” You breathe, nodding your consent. Your heart is racing everywhere in your body, his admission ringing in your ears. “ Please do .” 

His eyes roll slightly back as he pushes fully into you, his sigh shaky as he whispers ‘ Fuck ’ against your mouth.

The pace he finds is one that has your lungs crying for air. 

You dig your nails into his back, stomach lurching when he moans in response and throws his arm out to grip the headboard. 

“ Feel so good ,” He whispers. “Always so good. Better than I’d imagined.”

A memory of him admitting that he’d lost track of the times he’d thought about you flies through your head.

You breathe his name, stumbling over your words.

“I-Is this what you thought about in college? Fuck …Fucking me like this?”

He groans, head hanging over you as he nods. “Yes– fuck –yes-” He slams his hips against yours, again and again, his pace uneven and desperate. “Thought about you all the time. Hated myself, but I couldn’t-” He shakes his head, laughing slightly. “ I was obsessed with you. ”

You clench around him, throwing your head back and moaning his name. His lips brush against your ear, his voice tight. 

“ I think I still am. ”

The coil in your navel lurches, yanking tight and pulling you close. You stutter over it, clinging tight to him. “ Rin , I’m-”

He shudders, and you feel him twitch inside of you. “This is mine,” He breathes when your walls start to flutter around him. “I need this– I want you to need this.” He tangles his fingers in your hair, pulling taut and keeping his mouth pressed to your ear. “ You belong right here, wrapped around me just like this- ”

You think he might be the first one to go tumbling over the edge, his hips stilling when he spills into you with a groan of your name, but you follow so close behind that you can’t say for certain who went first.

After you come down, you find that he’s kissing you, lips moving lazily against yours. You wind your arms around his neck and kiss him for a while just like that – him still buried between your thighs and your hearts still racing against each other.

“Thank you for not letting me run,” You whisper eventually, kissing him earnestly and feeling when he smiles into it. 

“Your avoidant anxiety is going to be the thing that kills me. You know that, right?”

You don’t let him go for another hour, and Osamu’s incredibly unimpressed when you walk into work two hours late. 

–

You go home on your own after work, Suna texting to let you know he’s got a late client and will just meet you at the bar. 

Your brain still tingles every time you think about the events of the morning, his admission of being obsessed with you keeping you light on your toes all day. You sort through your closet, humming, and feel a kind of confidence that’s entirely foreign to you. 

Thinking back, you realize how silly it is that you’d retreated so far into yourself after Wednesday. He’d admitted, in vulnerable detail, all the things he thought of you in college, and then he’d asked you to stay at his house while he’s on his trip. He’d taken you seriously when you’d gotten insecure in his office, and he’d told you on more than one occasion to stop overthinking so much. To just follow him and see where things go.

He’d admitted he was obsessed with you. 

How could you possibly disrespect that by ignoring every sign he’s given you from the start? You don’t have to worry with him – you just have to stop thinking.

Your hand passes over a dress, pushing it down the clothesline, and then you’re stalling and bringing it back. A yellow summer dress, the only one you own. You glance out the window in thought. It’s warm enough for this to be admissible, but will it fit? You haven’t worn this in years.

You throw it on, examining yourself in the mirror. You normally wouldn’t be comfortable with it, sensing how tight it gets around the tummy before it hangs loosely around your thighs, and it’s a bit short. But it’s also nearly summer, and you’re going to a bar with your friends.

It should be fine, right?

You weigh the idea, turning back and forth and looking yourself over. 

The memory of Suna whispering ‘ Wanna ruin you ’ in your ear makes goosebumps break out all over your skin. 

“Alright, fuck it,” You tell yourself, swiping your phone off the vanity and leaving your room before you can change your mind.

When you get to the bar, you realize that you’d taken so long to get ready that Suna’s already there. The entirety of the Black Jackals is piled up in a corner, rowdy and excited around a few tables as they throw back a round of shots. 

You squeeze past a group of girls, finding Suna talking to Atsumu off to the side. You try to head toward him, but there’s an absolute mountain of a man cutting you short.

“ Y/n! You look so pretty! ” Bokuto yells, your eardrums screaming for mercy. You look up at him, laughing awkwardly.

“Jesus, Bo-” You catch movement over his shoulder, and you look, seeing that Suna’s turning in your direction, since Bokuto had announced your arrival.

He’s mid-sip when he turns, but the moment he lays eyes on you, they’re going wide. He chokes, spraying his drink all over Atsumu’s face. The blond just stands there covered in Suna’s ejected drink, deadpan, and you spot Sakusa in the back, bent at the waist and pounding a fist on the table as he laughs into his hand. Osamu’s not far away, shaking his head with an amused grin but more preoccupied with keeping his attention on Yachi, who looks impossibly pretty beside him.

Bokuto sees nothing, going in for a crushing hug. “If I’d known you’d dress up like this for us whenever we win, we’d be unstoppable!” 

It’s only the hand Hinata sets on Bokuto’s arm that frees you, the ginger peeling his senior off of you. “You’re killing her, Bokuto,” He laughs, hugging you quickly when you wheeze out a quiet ‘ Thanks, Shou’ and rub at your arms.

“Here to break hearts again?” He asks cutely, eyeing you appreciatively. “Looks like it to me.” 

“Just one heart,” You say shyly, glancing at where Suna is patting napkins against Atsumu’s wet skin with a sheepish smile. He meets your eyes briefly, and you watch him scan the length of your body. There’s a suspicious pink tint coloring his ears, but he just shakes his head and turns back to Atsumu. 

Hinata follows your gaze, nodding with a quiet ‘ Ah’. “Seems like you’ve already done it, then,” He laughs, referencing the way Suna keeps glancing back at you with an increasingly redder face. You smile, squeezing Hinata’s arm before pointing at the bar. 

“I think I’ve got a bit of catching up to do-” You gesture at Sakusa, who’s still howling with laughter in a way that’s unlike him, his glowing face telling you he’s close to plastered.

Hinata lets you go, and you make your way to the bar. The girl working is nice enough, but you can see her looking you over while she makes you a vodka cranberry. The way her eyebrows lift after she assesses you makes it clear that she’s not going to compliment your outfit anytime soon.

“Y/n!”

You jump, turning to find Yachi all but running to join you. She bumps you with her shoulder, beaming up at you. 

“You look so freaking good,” She says, wrapping her arms tight around you. “This new style you’re trying is killer. I didn’t realize how hot you were until the party at Atsumu’s,” She giggles, and you laugh as you hug her back. She’s a little drunk, but her compliments warm you and make you adore her more than ever. 

“You haven’t seen yourself, little miss Hitoka,” You tease. “Samu looks like he’s going to curl up in a ball any minute now.” 

She blushes, pressing her hands to her cheeks. “He’s so sweet,” She says, smiling to herself before looking up at you. “He told me you were always pushing him to make a move. I’m so happy he did.” 

You glance back, catching the way Osamu’s looking at her. He sees you watching and meets your eyes, smiling knowingly and then gesturing to your dress. You get a thumbs-up of approval, one that helps your confidence in ways he probably will never realize, especially since you can still feel the bartender watching you.

You turn back to Yachi with a bright smile. “You two look really good together. I’m probably breaking a million rules by telling you this, but,” You lean forward conspiratorily, and she comes close with wide eyes so you can whisper to her. “ He really likes you .”

She hides her face right away, her happy giggles making you love her just a little bit. She smacks you playfully on the arm, shaking her head.

“You’re one to talk – you didn’t see Suna ruin Atsumu’s night earlier?” 

You laugh, sipping your drink. “He’s so stupid.”

It’s lovesick, even to your ears.

Yachi hums in disbelief. “That man likes you , Y/n. You can’t tell me you don’t see that.”

The words ‘ I was obsessed with you ’ ring in your ears.

“That-” You laugh, staring down at your drink with a warm face. “-would be something, huh?” 

You talk to her at the bar for a while, and then she’s glancing over your shoulder curiously.

“I better leave you now,” She says with a smile. When you just tilt your head, she lifts a shoulder in a shrug, turning away from you. “I’m gonna pretend Samu just called my name from across the bar.” 

And then she’s gone, leaving you with an empty drink and no idea what’s just happened. 

You wave the bartender down, ordering another vodka cranberry. She’s just as almost-nice as before, her eyes judgmental when she scans you again. She leaves you feeling a bit out of place, but there’s a body pressing against yours before you can fall into it.

“ What in the ever-loving fuck did I do to deserve this? ”

You tense, Suna’s voice in your ear making your heart jump. You turn, seeing how close he is as he leans his elbows on the bar. He lifts his brows, waiting. 

“What?” You laugh, shaking your head. “I just thought it’d be nice to dress up for the celebration.” 

“Celebration, my ass,” He grumbles, looking you over. “You haven’t worn that since college.”

“Oh, really? Interesting that you noticed,” You say, looking down at yourself and pretending not to see the way his eye twitches.

“ Y/n ,” He breathes, and you feel the impatience in his tone. “You’re killing me. Miya already threatened to charge me for his dry-cleaning-”

“What can I get you?” 

You both turn, finding the bartender standing there. She slides you your drink but keeps her eyes firmly on Suna, her gaze trailing over his inked arms and piercings. 

He pretends not to see it, just glancing at the wall of hard liquor behind her. “A Jack and Coke is good, thanks.” And then he turns back to you, leaning close. “What did Hinata say to you when you came in?”

You smile, about to tease him for acting jealous, but the bartender’s interrupting again.

“I’ve never seen you in here before,” She says, smiling flirtily at him. 

Suna blinks slowly at her, and you watch disinterest glaze over his eyes. “Just here to celebrate with some friends.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw them-” She nods to where Atsumu and Sakusa are bickering and laughing at each other. “Those are the Black Jackals, right? Crazy that you know them.” She looks at him again. “Could you introduce me?” 

“You could just introduce yourself when they come order their drinks,” He suggests, standing to his full height and crossing his arms. 

You sigh, because you know that he’s trying to warn her off, but he only makes things worse – his tattoos and piercings on top of his height are guaranteed to make her want him more.

Sure enough, her eyes light with interest when she realizes how tall he is, and she starts to push harder while she makes his drink. You reach into your pocket for some cash while she talks, just wanting to pay her for your drink and get the hell away from her. There’s another bartender further down the room – you can just go to him for your drinks tonight. 

“Maybe I could,” The woman says, smiling and sliding his drink across the bar to him. “I should probably start with you, huh?” 

“You could certainly try,” He smiles back, but you see that it’s mocking.

She takes it as encouragement, leaning over to hold a hand out to him. “Kaori. Sure would be a shame for you to leave here alone tonight.” 

He stares down at it, and you’re smacked with the memory of every time he’d left one of your exes hanging. The unimpressed flick of his eyes to yours drives the nostalgia home. 

“What makes you think I’m alone?” 

You twirl the folded cash between your fingers, waiting with growing irritation. This woman had interrupted your conversation – clearly personal – more than once, and she shows no sign of letting up, even though you’re still here beside him.

The twinge of irritation twists into cold anger when she just pulls her hand back and glances over his shoulder, examining the table full of your friends. The only other girl there is Yachi, and it’s obvious who she’s with.

“Well, it doesn’t look like you’re with anyone.”

“You sure about that?” You snap.

Her eyes fly to you, and you see Suna’s head turn just the same. Your face burns, but you’re too angry to feel embarrassed. You lay a set of bills on the bar that should cover both your drinks and then meet her eyes.

“Because it looks to me like he’s taken.”

You hold eye contact with her for just a moment longer before lifting your eyes to Suna’s.

He’s looking at you like he never has before. His face is flushed and his smile is shy, and it makes your nerves flip to think that’s because of you, but it’s his eyes that catch you – bright and full of pride, he looks at you like you’ve given him something he thought might never come.

Veins humming with affection for this man in front of you, you swipe your drink off the bar and turn, walking away. He appears at your side in an instant, a hand pressing against your lower back.

“What was that?” He asks, voice betraying the laugh he’s suppressing.

“Next time, try not to make it clear just how attractive you are, please,” You mutter, rolling your eyes and letting him walk you to a couple seats in the back.

“I was just minding my business,” He teases, smiling as he leans his elbows on the table and meets your eye. You mirror him, leaning close.

“Well, she was minding mine .”

You leave him there, sitting at the table with his face buried in his hands and his ears red under the dim bar lights. You make your way back to Hinata, sitting with him and Bokuto and watching with a smile as they recount the previous day’s match in unrealistic detail. Your phone buzzes in your purse, and you make a point of barely glancing at it, because you can feel his eyes on you.

[7:17 PM]

Sunarin : possessive looks really fucking good on you

–

You manage to avoid him for the better part of the night, dancing around his every attempt to join you while you mingle with the MSBY boys. You can tell that the bartender must think you two are fighting because of her – she does her best to catch Suna’s eye whenever he asks the other bartender for a drink. It makes you smile, because he stands there every time, oblivious to her desperate act as he types furiously on his phone.

It just so happens that your phone buzzes repeatedly in your purse around that time, too, text after text keeping him from even realizing there’s another woman in the room vying for his attention.

[8:01 PM]

Sunarin : you never told me what hinata ended up telling you

Sunarin : he was checking you out though

[8:28 PM]

Sunarin : why arent you letting me sit next to you

Sunarin : y/n 

Sunarin : sit next to me damn it

[9:15 PM]

Sunarin : woman if you dont stop leaning over to talk to bokuto across the table

Sunarin : your ASS is OUT

[9:57 PM]

Sunarin : fucking hell what do you want from me

Sunarin : why are you torturing me

You laugh at that, unable to stop your smile after so many drinks and so many attempts on his end to get your attention. Another text comes in almost immediately.

Sunarin : i fucking SAW THAT

Sunarin : tell me what you want 

Sunarin : i will do literally anything

Your head swims from the alcohol, and you type back exactly what’s on your mind.

You : youre cute when youre obsessed

When he doesn’t respond, you look up, finding that he’s staring right at you with knowing eyes, the glow of his phone lighting up his face. He lifts a brow, typing a response without looking away.

Sunarin : so thats what this is ab

You swallow, suddenly nervous with the way he’s staring at you. You phone buzzes, and you break eye contact to read it.

Sunarin : you been thinking ab that all day, baby girl?

Mother of all fuck. 

You breathe a shaky sigh and turn away from him while you think.

Sunarin : aw, did i make you nervous?

You groan, rubbing at your brow.

You : youre funny

Sunarin : and youre lying

You blink rapidly, unsure what to do with that. And then you lock your phone quickly, because there’s a body bumping into yours.

It’s Sakusa, looking like he’s on another dimension of drunk.

“ Y/n, ” He slurs, draping his arms around you and leaning his cheek on top of your head.

“Hi, Kiyoomi,” You laugh, wrapping an arm around his waist, careful not to put your actual hands on him, because even trashed, he’s holding his own away from your body. 

“ You know something? ” He asks, and you struggle to hear him over the noise of the bar. Your phone buzzes, and you glance at it.

Sunarin : whats wrong y/n

Sunarin : dont want sakusa to know youre thinking ab how i fucked you this morning?

You turn the screen away from the man hugging you, lowering your brightness in a panic.

“I get the feeling you’ll tell me,” You joke, wincing when Sakusa tightens his hold. Are all these guys unaware of their strength? They’re professional athletes, for fuck’s sake.

“ Tsumu really loves you, Y/n,” He says, swaying. “ He loves you so much – he just wants you to be happy .”

Your heart swells, and you’re glancing over at Atsumu, who’s dancing like an idiot with Meian. You can only imagine how much he has to talk about you for Sakusa to be saying this right now.

“ I love you, too, now, ” Sakusa presses a drunken kiss into your hair. “ Tsumu’s made me love you, Y/n – we want you to be happy. ” 

You press your face against his chest, hoping he can feel how much that sentiment warms you.

Your phone buzzes.

Sunarin : did he just kiss you

You : suna hes shitfaced

Sunarin : try again

You sigh, squeezed tight in Sakusa’s oblivious hold.

You : rin, please

Sunarin : cute

Sunarin : so fucking cute

You struggle to glance behind you, but you see that Suna’s at the table, smile amused.

Sunarin : do you want to find out how obsessed i am with you?

You : dont do anything stupid

You : hes not even on the same plane of existence as us rn

Sunarin : oh i wont

Sunarin : but i wouldnt mind if he watched me explain to you how many times ive thought about fucking you in that dress

Your eyes widen, and you’re pressing the screen to your chest and glancing up at Sakusa. He’s still swaying, eyes closed a little bit.

“I-I love him, too, Kiyoomi,” You start. “You make him really happy, and that makes me happy.”

“ Yeah ?” He grins shyly, and you catch the little lovesick look you know you get with Suna. “ He makes me happy, too. Should I ask him to make it official? ”

You stare up at him, your soul warm. This man really cares about Atsumu, you realize. You’d seen it before, but this is entirely separate. He’s confessing to you, when every guard he has is down, just how much Atsumu means to him.

Movement catches your eye, and you see that Atsumu’s standing just past Sakusa’s shoulder, staring at the back of his head with wide eyes. He meets your eyes, and you know he’d heard it, too. 

You keep eye contact with him while you hug Sakusa, nodding carefully. “Yeah, Kiyoomi. I think you should ask him.”

Atsumu flushes, and he starts to smile nervously, gaze hopeful as he steps up to you and presses a hand to Sakusa’s back. The germaphobe flinches away from the touch, turning with alarm.

And then you watch as he realizes it’s Atsumu and relaxes completely under his hand. 

Your phone buzzes, and you’re distinctly aware of how terrible it is for Suna to be sexting you while Atsumu’s in the middle of falling in love.

“ Tsumu, ” Sakusa says, pleased, and releases you. You glance down in the seconds before Atsumu can be in sight of your screen.

Sunarin : do you think if i bent you over the bar and fucked you right here, that bartender might finally get the hint?

Atsumu’s side presses against yours, but his attention’s on Sakusa, so you type fast.

You : rin, come on

You : we’re in public

Sunarin : never stopped me from thinking ab it before

Sunarin : that day in the car

Sunarin : on the way to the beach

Sunarin : do you wanna know what i was thinking ab?

You stare down at your phone, waiting, but he doesn’t tell you.

Sunarin : im waiting, y/n.

You want to scream.

You : yes, rin

You : of course i want to fucking know

You : youre killing me

Sunarin : mouthy

Sunarin : should i stuff my fingers in your mouth to shut you up?

The floor falls out from under you, your brain going blank. Any care you have for who’s next to you or who could see your phone leaves you. All you can do is wait.

Sunarin : thats what i thought about that day

“ Got somethin’ to ask me, Omi-kun? ” You hear Atsumu ask, his voice shy. Sakusa laughs quietly beside him.

“Later, Tsumu. I want it to be special. ”

Sunarin : in that car full of all our friends

“ Okay. Not gonna forget, are ya? ”

“ Never. I’ve been wanting to ask for a while. ”

“ Yeah? ”

“ Yeah. ”

“ Okay ,” Atsumu laughs, finally dropping it. You feel him nudge you then, trying to get your attention, but you forget to give it to him.

Sunarin : i thought about burying two fingers in your pretty little cunt and using my other hand to keep you quiet

Sunarin : thought about it for weeks after

Sunarin : thinkin about it now

“Y/n, I think I’mma head out soon- what the fuck- ” 

Your head whips up, and you find Atsumu with one hand over his eyes. 

“ Christ , Y/n, I didn’ need all that.”

You just stare up at him with wide, unseeing eyes, Suna’s text playing on repeat in your head. You start to giggle, worsened when your phone buzzes again.

Sunarin : whoops

You laugh louder, smacking Atsumu on the chest. He groans, digging the heel of his hand into his eye. 

“You two are gonna fuckin’ kill me one day, I swear,” He complains. “First the drink, now this?”

You fist his shirt in your hand and drag him down, planting a giddy kiss on his cheek. 

“I love you, too, Tsumu.” You look to Sakusa, who has no idea what’s just traumatized his future boyfriend. “And you, Kiyoomi. I love you, too.”

The man beams cutely down at you before grabbing Atsumu and pulling him toward the door. The blond goes with him, and you hear a whiny ‘ Never goin’ to the beach with them again, Omi-kun ’. 

You turn back to Suna, eyebrows raised. You’re glad to see that his pleased grin is a bit embarrassed.

When you reach him, he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close.

“Well done,” You say, nodding very seriously. “He’s going to need therapy.”

“That’s not new,” He jokes, throwing his phone on the table so he can card his fingers through your hair. “Wanna get outta here?” 

“Why?” You tease, letting him pull your face close to his. “So you can keep telling me all about the depraved things you wanted to do to me in front of our friends?”

“No.” He brushes his lips over yours, eyes trained on your mouth before he lifts them to meet yours. “So I can show you what I meant when I said that you blowing me was the nice way to put it.” 

You moan quietly, clinging to him and thanking every higher power that exists that no one’s back here in this corner with you. “Rin…”

“You wanna leave?”

You nod furiously. He just smiles.

“Then go say bye to everyone.” When you nod again and start to pull away, he yanks you back, pushing his lips to yours heatedly. “ Wipe that look off your face, or they’re going to know that I’m thinking about fucking your mouth in the backseat of my car. ”

Your legs wobble a little bit when you walk away. 

You’re entirely uncertain that you manage to say bye to everyone there, and when Osamu hugs you tight and kisses the top of your head, he mumbles to you quietly.

“Whatever you get up to tonight, I don’t want to hear about it tomorrow.”

“What?” You laugh, your face warm with nerves when you spot Suna near the door. “Why?”

“Because in no life do I want to know what that look in your eye is about.” Osamu releases you, and you wave at Yachi, smiling sheepishly when Osamu calls out a teasing ‘ Have fun ’. 

You all but run over to Suna, your heart leaping when he reaches a hand out to you. You take it, leaning up against him and breathing out an embarrassed admission.

“I don’t think I was good at wiping the look off my face.”

He purses his lips, trying not to smile as he walks you out to the parking lot. “Then I guess you’ll just have to wait ‘til we get home.”

“No,” You whine. “Really?”

He smiles wide then. “Yes, really. I can’t have anyone catching us, can I?” He helps you into his car, buckling you in while you stare up at him, heartbroken. “Then they’ll know how good my girl is, and that’s supposed to be between us, right?”

You swallow, pressing your thighs together and nodding. “Yeah. Between us.” 

He glances down at your thighs with a smirk and then closes the passenger door, coming around to the driver’s side.

“Can you keep your hands to yourself until we get back?” He asks, starting the car.

You watch his ringed hand settle comfortably on the gear shift, the bracelet you’d gifted him hanging loosely from his wrist. You very urgently need that bracelet pressed between your thighs, like it had been that first night.

“Not sure.”

He laughs. “Do your best, baby. We’ll be home soon.”

He’s true to his word, his apartment complex appearing after only ten minutes, but by that point, you’re squirming in the seat beside him. Suna pretends to laugh, but you can see his hand flex on the gear shift and the flick of his gaze to your thighs as he’s pulling into the parking lot. He carts you up to his apartment with an urgency you’ve only seen in situations just like this, where he’s all but dragging you into the elevator. 

And when he shoves you to your knees at the foot of his bed, you know you’re in for quite the night. 

You look up at him, hands on his thighs, and wait.

He tilts your chin up, keeping your eyes on his, and smiles.

“Pretty.” 

You smile back nervously. “Yeah?” 

His fingers curl into your hair and cup the back of your head. It starts off gentle, but you feel the tension of his hold on your head, and you realize you’re being restrained.

“Want me to show you how pretty?” 

You try to nod, but his grip is tight. “Yes, please.”

Suna pulls his lip ring between his teeth, tugging as he stares down at you. He laughs almost nervously, despite showing no sign of loosening his grip.

“God, I really am a bad friend for imagining this so much.” 

You shift, your panties uncomfortably wet. “You’re only a bad friend for not telling me anything until now.” You reach for his belt, undoing it. “Making me wait all this time is unfair.”

He sighs when you tug on the zipper of his jeans and pull them down to his thighs, freeing him. You take his cock in your hand, stroking him slowly. 

He groans, tightening his grip in your hair. “You’re right,” He says breathlessly. “I coulda had you this whole time.” 

You squirm, sliding your palm against him and feeling when he grows harder. “You have me now.”

He guides his cock to your mouth, resting the head of it on your bottom lip. His eyes flick between your mouth and your eyes, his fingers painfully tight in your hair. He breathes out a question just as you’re parting your lips. 

“ Do I? ” 

You let your jaw drop open in response, your tongue passing along the underside of him. He shudders, and his cock twitches on your tongue. You feel his grip on your hair loosen in his distracted state, and you use the chance to dip your head, taking him into your mouth. 

Suna moans, his head falling back when you bob your head down onto him. You wrap your hands around the part of him you can’t fit in your mouth, and the swears start to fall from his mouth.

“ Fuck ,” He breathes, followed by a groan when the tip of his cock touches the back of your throat. “Fuck, that feels good.” 

He looks down at you, his fingers finding your hair again. 

“You’re so sweet. You’re so good and sweet and perfect. You take me so well.”

You moan around him, feeling when he shivers but ignoring it in favor of dragging your tongue along the underside of his cock and then suckling on the head of it. He whispers your name, his grip tightening.

“Shit.” He swallows audibly. “Is it alright if I-?” 

You do your best to nod, stomach swooping when his fingers twist your hair into a makeshift ponytail. His bracelet knocks gently against the back of your ear, and you feel yourself start to get desperate for him.

“You ever done this before?” When you shake your head, he swears under his breath weakly. “Dig your nails into my leg if something doesn’t feel right, okay? Make sure you breathe through your nose.”

You nod, and he stares down at you for a moment. And then his grip tightens. 

The sudden push of your head down on his cock has you moaning loudly around him. He swears over you, and then he pulls you off completely to look at you.

“Good?”

You whine at the loss, wrapping your hands around him and leaning forward again. He yanks you back, forcing your eyes up to his.

“Gotta answer me first, baby.”

“Yes,” You breathe quickly. “Yes, good. All good- can I-?” You slide your fingers over the head of his cock, and he groans quietly.

When he lowers you down onto him, you get the sense he’s struggling to keep his self-control. The hand on your head is tightening to the point of pain, but you only moan through it, the tip of his cock bumping against the back of your throat once, and then again. The third is rough, his hips canting forward as his hand brings you down. 

But when you choke audibly, Suna moans your name, loud and echoing off his walls, and you resolve yourself to dragging that sound out of him every chance you get. 

You try to sink down on him yourself, but a harsh tug pulls you back.

“Whatcha doin’?” He asks, eyes hazy and breath short. “‘s my job.” 

You whimper, whispering a quiet apology and waiting.

He twists more of your hair around his fingers, holding you steady in front of him. You open your mouth and let him slide in, moaning softly when he brushes against the back of your throat.

“Promise not to move?” He asks, gaze adoring. You nod shallowly, and he smiles. “That’s my girl.”

He snaps his hips forward, and you think he sees it when your eyes roll into the back of your head.

The pace he sets reminds you of the way he’d fucked you this morning, but, as you watch him through the tears building in your eyes, you realize that this must be something he’d thought he’d never have. His eyes are squeezed shut, and your name is falling in broken whispers from his lips every time he bumps against the back of your throat. You watch him as he acts on something he’d spent a long time thinking about, and you want to give him anything he wants. 

Not too long goes by before you feel him twitch in your mouth, his cock heavier and his hips stuttering briefly when you moan around him. 

“ Fuck ,” He breathes. “I’m gonna- I should-” He starts to pull you off of him, but you scramble forward, sliding your hand up to press against his stomach. You fist his shirt in your hold, eyes pleading when you look up at him. He moans at the eye contact, grip loosening. You push down on his cock, going as far as you can, and he cups the back of your head carefully. 

“God, you’re so pretty,” He says. You suck gently on him, using your hands to coax him over the edge. “Thought about this so much. Shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it…” He sighs, watching you work and shivering every time your tongue drags over him. “I wanted to do something about it, wanted to make a move-”

Your eyes fly up to his, wide. His face warms under your surprise. 

“ Didn’t wanna fuck things up ,” He mumbles, fingers carding lightly into your hair. He moans quietly when you bob your head, and you feel how close he is. “ Couldn’t risk losing you. ”

Your heart sings in your chest, nerves buzzing loudly, and you use your free hand to search for his. When you find it, you intertwine your fingers with his, squeezing warmly. 

You’re distinctly aware that that’s what sends him over the edge.

His hips push forward weakly, and you hear your name being choked on as he fills your mouth. You swallow as much as you can, using your hand to stroke him until he’s done. 

After a moment, he sighs shakily.

“Shit.”

You pull off of him slowly, helping him back into his boxers. He crouches in front of you, forcing you to look at him. 

You smile sleepily, your throat a bit achy as you whisper to him. “ Hi. ”

He leans forward, kissing you hard. “ Thank you for letting me do that ,” He whispers back, mouth warm on yours.

“ Thank you for doing that. ” You giggle when he wraps his arms around you and hoists you up. You cling, face buried in his shirt, as he moves you both onto his bed, your dress riding up and bunching around your waist.

Suna all but rips your panties off of you, spreading your thighs and kissing the inside of your knee.

“I really wanna fuck you while you’re wearing this-” He nips at the soft flesh of your thigh, kissing each thigh and making his way slowly toward your core. “But I wanna do this more right now.” His eyes flick to yours. “You’ll wear this again, though, right?” 

You warm, nervous. “Maybe?”

“No ‘ maybe ’.” He sucks a mark into your inner thigh. “You’ll wear it again.” 

“Okay.”

“Good,” He smiles, examining the bruise he’s leaving on your skin. “Then – for now – this is what I want.” 

You shudder, stomach fluttering with anxiety when you see where he’s headed. “No one’s ever…” 

He meets your eyes again, smile dropping a bit. “What?”

You just look away, tugging your dress down a little. “No one wanted to.”

“...You asked them to?”

“Only the first couple times.” You shrug, embarrassed. “Wasn’t worth it after that.”

The silence that stretches between you reminds you of the day you asked to kiss him. His hold on your thighs tightens, and you can see he’s a bit annoyed. “Ask me.” 

Your heart skips, and you’re squirming under him. “I dunno-”

There’s a hand on your face, and you realize you’ve grown quite fond of him squeezing you like this.

“Ask me.” He lifts a brow, daring you not to.

You look away, murmuring through his hold. “ Will you go down on me? ” 

He releases you, staring with warmth. 

There’s something in it that looks like more than you’ve allowed yourself to hope for. 

“I would be honored.” 

You laugh when he pushes his face against your thigh, breathing you in and biting softly on your skin. “You’re so fucking corny.” 

“You deserve at least that much,” He says plainly, biting and nipping and sucking spots into your thighs, his tongue soothing each one along the way. “That’s the only time you’ll ever have to ask me.” 

You smile and card your fingers through his hair, shivering when his breath fans out over your core. “What did you mean earlier?” When he glances up at you through his eyelashes, your stomach lurches in anticipation. “When you talked about making a move.”

Suna presses a kiss to your navel and then to the crease of your hips, his hands keeping your legs open for him. “Didn’t want to scare you off and fuck everything up.”

“But you seemed completely fine with us doing this a few weeks ago. When I said I didn’t want to ruin us.”

“A few weeks ago-” He kisses the very edges of your inner thighs, and you know he can already feel how wet you are. “-the only way things could change was if you fell for me, or if you found someone else and we went back to being friends.”

He lifts his gaze as he hooks your thighs over his shoulders, speaking clearly when he looks you in the eye.

“At the time, I was okay with that second option.”

Your nerves burst under your skin, his words flying around your head and making it entirely impossible for you to notice when he drops his head and presses the flat of his tongue to your core.

Your back arches, a gasp ripped out of you as your hands fly to his hair. “ Rin -”

He drags his tongue along your folds, searing hot when it slides against your clit. “I was okay with this ending,” He mumbles, the vibration of his words making you squirm. “I thought I was over you, like an idiot.”

He laughs, and you hide your face in one of your hands. It’s cruel to make you go through this right now . To make you helpless and desperate for him in a million different ways, only to drop this bomb of an admission on you.

How are you supposed to not fall for him when he says and does everything that makes you think it’s okay?

Suna nips gently into your skin, his tongue wildly distracting while you try to process.

“I thought I was over you, but I was so fucking okay with you falling for me,” He breathes the words onto your burning skin, laughing quietly when you squirm. “It was so obvious, and I didn’t notice.”

“Rin,” You whine, pushing your hips up carefully and moaning when he grips you tight and pulls you against his mouth. “Please don’t tease me. I won’t be able to let you go.”

“Baby,” He says it so naturally and with a lilt of humor, like he thinks you’re not listening to him, that your breath comes out sharp and whiny. “Haven’t you been listening? I was only okay with breaking things off when we first started. Don’t you know how long it’s been since then?”

He dips his head and drags his tongue over your clit, latching on afterward and suckling gently. You cry his name and squeeze your thighs. He holds onto them and buries his face deeper, moaning against your core. You barely hear when he speaks, your ears ringing.

“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.” 

You find yourself gasping for air, your heart pounding almost painfully in your throat.

“ Rin- ”

“ Tell me you’re mine. ” 

Electricity flies down your spine, but Suna keeps you held down when your body bows off of his mattress.

“‘m yours-”

“Again.” He tortures you like that, bullying you to the edge while making you work for it, your pleas desperate.

“‘m yours, ‘m yours – please, Rin, please-”

“ Again. ”

“ I’m yours, Rin, I’m yours -” You all but scream it, your words echoing long after you say it.

He rewards you now, sucking hard on your clit and then dragging his tongue over it.

You fall, and you know that it’s permanent. 

When you eventually come down – seconds or minutes or hours later, you don’t know – you almost miss when Suna pushes his lips against your inner thigh and breathes a response.

“ And I’m yours. ”

i fear i have stuff i cannot say due to digital footprint

the lac of nate macauley fics are disrespectful

me with literally every character i like

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.