Why Haven’t I Seen Anyone Posting About That Giant Fucking Baby Penguin In Melbourne That’s Bigger

This is how kids reacted when they were shown same-sex marriage proposal videos. Kids these days. 

Dude I had a train of thought while I was at work that was cracking me up. FYI iron flame spoilers.

So Tyrrendor had its own king before the unification right and now it has a duke ruling over the province. And technically that duke is Xaden, or at least he's next in line. So when the third kingdom/country/whatever shows up and they play a critical part in defeating the venin at the end of the series, this third party sees the shit Navarre has put Tyrrendor through and announces that should Tyrrendor choose to secede they will formally recognize the new tyrrish king. And Xaden not wanting to be king starts to protest but before he can Garrick cuts in with something like "your majesty" because unflappable, unmoveable, unyielding Xaden Riorson is for once distinctly out of his league. Not to mention Garrick knows his friend would be a great king. And Xaden looks at his friend with just the utmost betrayal because how could he. And it's like

Unnamed foreign dignitary: we will recognize the new tyrrish king

Xaden: no thats not....

Garrick (grinning while lowering into a over exaggerated bow): your majesty

Xaden: stop

Bohdi (also bowing) your highness

Xaden: why are you doing this to me

Garrick: well you've already been filling the role just figured you should get the perks that come with the title.

Xaden: what perks? Bickering with council members?

Garrick: who are you bickering with we're in a time of peace?

Violet: me were gonna argue about what color drapes to hang in the throne room.

Xaden: black end of discussion

Garrick: so you accept?

Xaden (grinning his own wicked grin): i will make you my right hand and drag you into every council meeting for the rest of our lives

Garrick (grimacing): shouldn't that be Bodhi's job?

Bodhi: nope all you

Garrick: what about violet?

Violet: what about me?

Xaden: oh yes, you're coming too.... my queen *pauses* ok maybe I can get used to that

Then it would get more serious about how yes he would be an excellent king and all that he's given of himself for his people. Which of course ends with bowing/kneeling before him

And even though I think that if Tyrrendor seceded they would become a democracy, this was cracking me up for hours

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

AM I LATE TO THE TRAIN BECAUSE I JUST FOUND OUT THERE’S A THEORY THAT SAYS ROSE’S UNFINISHED BUSINESS WAS JULIE SINGING “WAKE UP” AND THAT’S WHY THERE WAS A YELLOW/ORANGE/GOLD GLOW BC THAT WAS HER CROSSING OVER

:]

I’m bored and have nothing to do

first 100 people who reblog this and add “:]” I will submit a vine to your blog that I think defines you pretty well based on your blog

Jason: *walks into living room and pauses, looking at tim* uh Tim: *frowns as he looks up from a book* what? Jason: um. Tim: dude. Spit it out. Jason: *still staring* you like that book? Tim: yeah I’m really loving it! It’s a new bestseller, Steph recommended it. It’s a fun fantasy. ‘S got dragons and the romance is nice and Jane Austen-esque. You should read it, it’s right up your alley. Jason: uh. Okay. I’ll, uh, look into it. And, uh, what about the author? Know anything about them? Tim: *frowns* aside from the fact that there’s like, no information about them, no Jason: *chuckles nervously* ah, yeah. Haha.

Jason, later to his editor: hey can we change my pseudonym? I wanna use “Todd Peter” and see how long it takes for my brother to yell at me editor: Jason that’s not how pseudonyms work

What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?

William Herondale, Clockwork Angel, Cassandra Clare

"Genesis", Oil on canvas by Matthew Cornell

Agent Ultron

FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES MINE IS LITERALLY

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