Accidentally Stumbling Upon Something You Used To Love And Finding You Still Feel The Same Way About

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

Art by Philippe Caza for Simulacres, Casus Belli special edition 1, 1988

I was bored and made this and decided to show it to someone other than my lovely moot

Oh no!

ATTENTION there are hummingbird species called pufflegs and they are all wearing very silly pants and that’s their defining trait

spent five hours alone listening to music, turns out I will be ok

I have to go now. Pray for me. Or don't.

If you ever need anyone to vent to, you can message me <3

Vent under the cut

God I feel like such a shit person I can't even do one simple thing I know she's hurting I know I need to help her but part of me wishes she'd never told me isn't that messed up? It's like I care more about myself than her life but I don't I swear I don't I'm surrounded by death all the time I don't want to lose her too but every time I think about her now I'm launched back to last year's late nights on the phone trying to talk my best friend off the edge while deep down I wanted to end it too god we're all so young why the hell can't I just be a kid? Why can't I help her? Why can't I help everyone? For fucks sake I can't even help myself I'm so pathetic and I'm failing as a sister all I want to do is make everything better but every damn time I run away and she's probably gonna kill herself and there'll be no one to blame but me cause I was too worried about myself to help her

edit: our parents know now but they don't know everything and they're really shit at this I'm scared they're gonna push her over the edge or make her feel worse and now every time they talk about it I can't even stand to be in the room I fucking hate my life but I shouldn't because I'm not the one suffering right now so why the hell am I making this all about me? I just want her to get the help she deserves this is all so messed up

Idk, rob someone

I wanna cosplay so baaad but I'm brokeee