First. || Second

psst…❤️💞💖🥰happy valentines day🥰💖💞❤️

i planned on never posting these but yknow theres so little skysolo these days it wasnt fair to keep it to myself..anyway they make fun of each others beards all the time i know george lucas and he told me

you take that back right now, ed

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier but it’s WandaVision

my insta - my twitter 

Prompt: gentlehands "are you flirting with me" "have been for the past [x amount of time] but thanks for noticing ~ blackhannetandco

@blackhannetandco this one's for you!!! *fucks up immediately*

***

"You have to remember to keep your back straight as you parry, or else you're risking losing your nose. Bonnet? Oh, for fuck's sake. Bonnet? Are you listening?"

Stede wasn't listening. It was decidedly hard to do, given that Izzy was shirtless, flexing his muscles before God and everybody.

Which, to be fair, that "everybody" was just Stede himself.

It's been several weeks since the two of them reconnected. Several weeks since Izzy started training Stede in combat in an old back room of an inn with a leaking roof, in the hopes that, if sufficiently prepared, he could at least survive the confrontation with Ed, or rather - Blackbeard. At least long enough to talk some sense into him.

If Stede wasn't already just a little bit nervous at the thought of seeing Ed again, the thought that the love of his life could actively want to kill him made him absolutely mortified.

And yet, at times, all of that seemed to pale in comparison with the feelings that have been raising in Stede's chest for a little while now. Nevermind that Izzy Hands was an incredibly talented swordsman, nevermind the way he looked in candlelight, his chest bare, eyes focused, forehead misted with sweat.

He was also, as much as it surprised Stede - a very decent guy to talk to. He had so many stories to tell, both from his youth, as well as from the time he spent pirating with Ed.

To be fair, Stede did have to pry words out of Izzy's mouth at the beginning, but when Hands saw that Stede's interest was genuine, he did start opening up, slowly but surely.

All of these factors combined amounted to Stede's confusing, no good, very weird time. He barely just realised he had feelings for Ed - what's all this, then? He couldn't help but imagine that after he reunited with Ed, they would live happily ever after with no hiccups at all. And this. This was a big hiccup.

And it wasn't even that he stopped loving Ed amidst all this, not even for a second. No siree, then he could at least have something to beat himself up for. No, these bizarre feelings he had for Izzy existed in tandem, as it were, not instead of his feelings for Ed, but rather next to them.

At least that's how Stede explained it to himself. It made sense in his head.

He couldn't help glancing at Izzy time and time again when the man wasn't looking his way, and looking away when their eyes met. He couldn't help the way his voice would sometimes get quiet, softer, when he was talking to Izzy. He couldn't help the warm feeling spreading all across his body whenever Izzy would touch him to help perfect his stance. Stede was just a man, up against something unfathomable.

"Huh? Um, yeah. I'm listening. Obviously." Stede said, convincing neither Izzy nor himself.

Izzy let out a long sigh.

"You know what? Let's wrap things up for today. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Make sure you're focused by then."

Stede nodded, and having put away his sword started making his way to his shoes that he abandoned in the corner of the room.

Izzy in the meantime snuffed out the candles, with only the moonlight seeping in through the window serving as a modest source of lighting.

Neither of them however accounted for the small puddle slowly but surely forming in the middle of the room, thanks to a sneaky little hole in the roof that's been there for years.

It was a moment. A blink of the eye.

Izzy was walking, until gravity took a hold of him.

Stede launched himself in the man's direction without thinking. Izzy has been helping him with sharpening his reflexes, and it's been working... rather splendidly.

There they were - Stede leaned over Izzy, strong arms of the Gentleman Pirate wrapped around his middle, Izzy's face turned towards the ceiling, one leg stuck midair.

They were stuck like that, simply staring at each other in shocked silence.

It was Stede that finally broke it off.

"Well..." he tried, slowly. "You know Izzy, if you wanted me to hold you that badly, all you had to do was say so. No need to risk injuring yourself."

Stede was weirdly proud of himself for getting that out as smoothly as he did. All the more chance he would be this suave and confident flirting with Ed, right?

Izzy scoffed in response, equally shocked as he was amused.

"Fuck off." he said, though there was no malice in his voice.

Stede quietly helped Izzy stand up. When the first mate's back was turned to him, he waited a beat and said:

"Bonnet?"

"Yes, Izzy?"

Izzy turned to face Stede, his eyebrow cocked.

"Did you just flirt with me?"

Stede couldn't help but chuckle.

"Have been trying to for a little while now. Thanks for noticing, though."

And with that Stede passed him and made for the door.

Izzy considered this. His head was spinning ever so slightly. This was going to become a problem.

***

Right so first of all

Can you believe I waited over a year to answer this ask. It was sent to me... In June? Last year? In the meantime I dropped out of uni. Dear god. Sorry it took me so long 😭😅

Anyways, hope you like it!!!!!!!

AU Where Stede Is Just Inexplicably Yolked, Dude

Weak. Delicate. Pathetic. All the words Izzy Hands would ever use to describe Stede Bonnet, joined only by the word 'annoying'.

That is, until Stede punches him in the face.

"Put your fuckin' back into it!" Izzy had been shouting as he made two of the useless crew (Roach? Wee John? He can't be arsed to remember their names) clean the deck.

"Actually," Stede had said in a sing-song voice as he walked up the stairs to the wheel, "We're going to forgo the chores today! I picked up some fab art supplies at port last time and-"

"Shut your fuckin' mouth."

Stede had stiffened. "Well. You could've phrased that more constructively-"

"Do you ever shut your fuckin' mouth?"

Stede had huffed, and then Ed had walked up. "Izzy, come on, man. He's the Captain."

"He's barely a Captain."

"It's his ship man."

And it had been enough. "And who's fuckin' fault is that, Edward? Who didn't steal the fuckin' ship like we'd planned? Who decided to let this ponce be in charge, huh?"

Ed had snarled back. "Think about who you're talking to, mate."

"I am. I'm not talking to Blackbeard, am I? I'm talking to Edward. A fuckin' soft-hearted, useless, doormat of a ma-"

And then there was a sharp pain and everything went black.

When he came to, he was on the deck with Fang and Ivan hovering over him while people chattered in the background. He slowly sat up and put his hand to his nose. His glove came away bloody, and the slight touch had sent sharp pain through his whole head.

"How the fuck did Captain do that?" he hears the scribe boy whispering, voice trembling a little.

"It's always the quiet ones," the chef says, looking up at the wheel. "Did I say so before?"

"Yeah, but that turned out to be an accident," the annoying bald fanboy whispers. "This was like. Real."

No. No. No fuckin' way.

Izzy looks up at the wheel and sees Ed and Stede in a heated conversation, and holy fuck that's Izzy's blood on Stede Bonnet's knuckles.

Finally, the two descend, and Stede looks sheepish. He gives a wobbling smile to his crew, clapping his hands together. "So, ah, allow me to apologize for losing my temper, there."

"You knocked a man out," the one in the orange beanie says. "You didn't even use the stun move."

"Yes, I know."

"How the fuck do you have the strength to do that?" the one who freaks out about cats asks, both intrigued and frightened.

"Well... I don't know. I suppose the layers of my outfit get rather heavy sometimes."

Everyone stares. Stede clears his throat. "Anyway, it was completely unprofessional of me to strike someone else's First Mate over some harsh words. Now- oh, good, he's awake. Izzy Hands, I deeply apologize for um-"

"Smashing his nose in?" Jim (Izzy can remember Jim easily, that one's made of different stuff than the rest) provides.

"Yes. That." Stede offers an ingenuine apologetic smile. Izzy knows it's not genuine because the man never stops with the genuineness, and it's absence is almost shocking.

"You fuckin'-" Izzy begins to growl, but his own blood gurgles in his throat and Ed is looking at Stede with something like reverence and Stede, under all that hoity-toity propriety and apologetic nature, looks proud of himself.

And Izzy doesn't know if he could stand getting knocked out by Stede Fuckin' Bonnet twice.

"I accept your apology," he mumbles.

Stede grins and claps his hands together once again, and Izzy wants to punch himself in the nose when he flinches at it.

pre-reveal shenanigans my beloved

Hatecrimes MD <3

MORE TIPS ON FLIRTING TEMPTING (FROM CROWLEY)!

Well, what do you know...

You learn something useless new everyday!

-Bubbly, ROLL OUT!

this episode is why people call it hatecrimes m.d

in fics where luke gets plopped into the prequels i want every jedi within ten metres of him to think hes the weirdest jedi theyve ever seen. he has negative lightsaber form. he doesnt know what a kata is. he handstands when he meditates. his solution to sith is to try and have a chat. hes a political radical who keeps suggesting revolution. you ask him what the jedi code is and he says "kindness and compassion and helping those in need :) ". you ask how he used the force like that and he says some shit about how you are a luminous being limited only by your mind. the councils authority is just a suggestion. he is somehow the new favourite of both qui gon and yoda