Emoji Spell For Money To Make Its Way Into Your Pockets 😉😉

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor for help. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous I take a sip.”

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

Sip the Vodka, don’t gulp.

There are 10 commandments, not 12.

There are 12 disciples, not 10.

Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and eat it, for it is my body”, he did not say, “Eat me.”

The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, “Mary with the Cherry”.

The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God”

Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

Don’t refer to Jesus and the 12 disciples J.C. and the boys.

The skin & hoof(!) of a dinosaur y’all

North Dakota Geological Survey shows first pics of cleaned/prepped specimen of Edmontosaurus with skin preserved in iron sands cement. Look at how cool that is!

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

Oh dear

Hey guys. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE who reblogs this post BY MAY 5TH 2019 will be getting a small monster design based on your blog theme, name, or profile picture. Let’s go.

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

have i told you guys about the time that i classically conditioned my kindergarten class

quick reminder that my own gay ass genuinely supports the hell outta each and every one of you. regardless if i know you or not, im happy to be living in this shithole of a life in the same world with you.

and im proud of you, i know in my heart just how beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, and worthy you are and i hope you can see that too🏳️‍🌈🌈

By @psych2go

funny how predstrogen got full-nuked right as a lot of discussions about transmisogyny started getting widespread. trans women start talking about our hurt and it gets us removed from our spaces. goddamn incredible.