A Soldier Shows Up For Military Training, But Realizes He Forgot To Bring His Gun.

A soldier shows up for military training, but realizes he forgot to bring his gun.

The sergeant hands him a stick and gestures to the training field.

“You’ll have to use this, soldier. If you need to shoot someone, just aim your stick at them and shout ‘Bangity bang-bang’. If someone gets too close to you, poke them in the gut with it as though it was a bayonette and shout 'Stabbity stab-stab’. Now get moving.”

The soldier thinks this is pretty ridiculous, but to his surprise, when he aims his stick at a fellow trainee across the field and shouts “Bangity bang-bang!” the other soldier goes down in a theatrical display. Then, another trainee tries to run past him, so he pokes the guy in the ribs and shouts “Stabbity stab-stab!” and he too goes down, pretending to be dead.

So, the soldier starts running through the mock-battlefield, shouting “Bangity bang-bang” and occasionally “Stabbity-stab-stab”, until eventually he realizes he’s the last man standing.

He’s feeling pretty proud of himself until another soldier rounds a corner and starts walking toward him. Slowly. Stiffly. Menacingly.

The soldier takes aim with his stick and shouts, “Bangity-bang-bang!”

But the other soldier doesn’t go down this time. He keeps approaching, arms stiff at his sides, boots stomping aggressively into the ground.

The soldier begins to sweat. He clears his throat, adjusts grip on his stick and hollers, “Bangity bang-bang!”

But nothing happens. The other soldier keeps marching toward him.

Now the soldier panics. He pretends to reload his stick and desperately cries out, “Bangity bang-bang! Bangity bang-bang! Stabbity stab-stab!”

But to his dismay, nothing works.

Finally, the other soldier reaches him, kicks him in the shin and knocks him onto the ground.

He stands over the fallen soldier and says:

“Tankity tank-tank.”

More Posts from Wisestarfishtale and Others

3 years ago

“Yes this LGBT mini-series “WHEN WE RISE” is a big deal AND there is no bisexual representation. The B is missing from this epic LGBT docu-drama. When LGBT people rose in San Francisco [and everywhere else], we rose together. Bisexuals worked shoulder to shoulder with Cleve Jones, Ken Jones, Roma Guy and Cecilia Chung whose lives are featured. This is not to take away from their incredible contributions; this is to point out what might not be noticed in the excitement of watching “When We Rise”. The suppression and silencing of bisexual contributions, history, and culture serves no one, especially our multi-generation LGBTQI community/movement. Williams Institute and Pew research among others show there are more self identified bisexuals than gay and lesbian people put together. Forty percent of self identified bisexual people are people of color. Bisexual suicide, depression, anxiety, domestic violence, rape, stalking, poverty, alcohol/drug/nicotine rates are higher than for gay, lesbian and heterosexual people. The ongoing casual and sometimes callous disregard of bisexual people and our lives is unacceptable and fueling a bisexual mental/physical health crisis. Excluding and isolating anyone in our community hurts all of us, especially in these dangerous times. What are you able to do to stand with and stand up for bisexual people and challenge biphobia, misinformation and ignorance – including perhaps your own?”

— Lani Ka’ahumanu, prominent bisexual activist and author  (via bisexual-books)

3 years ago

The skin & hoof(!) of a dinosaur y’all

The Skin & Hoof(!) Of A Dinosaur Y’all
The Skin & Hoof(!) Of A Dinosaur Y’all

North Dakota Geological Survey shows first pics of cleaned/prepped specimen of Edmontosaurus with skin preserved in iron sands cement. Look at how cool that is!

6 years ago

How did I understand this meme?

Me😰irl

Me😰irl

2 years ago
5 years ago

Reblog if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender or a supporter.

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

5 days ago

i hate when a coworker brings up harry potter because you just have to start beating them and keep beating them and beating them and attacking them and mauling them and it's really tiring to do twice a day

4 years ago

Reblog if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transgender or a supporter.

This should be reblogged by everyone. Even if you’re straight, you should be a supporter.

6 years ago

Psst, hey, hey you, yes you

Everybody who reblogs this before may 25th 2019 will get a little cryptid design based on their blog, url, etc.

6 years ago

Nice seat, where can I get one?

A Hedgehog Skeleton.

A hedgehog skeleton.

Via Reddit.

5 years ago

REBLOG IF YOU WANT ANONS

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wisestarfishtale - Untitled
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NB (they/it), 23 years old, bisexual, maybe aromantic not entirely sure yet

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