Wizeardmanteis

maaan grandpa suuucks *feeds him an edible and makes him listen to creepy carnival music with a blindfold on*

so in love with cultivating a space for yourself exempt from the view of others, for no reason in particular other than self-expression. i could stare at my saved pins pinterest board for hours. those are the picures i like!!

I think everyone should make dumb ugly zines and bad music and write shitty books with weird premises and publish them for pay what you will online. I think people should write plays that are only ever intended to be performed with their friends in their living rooms. I think people who like ttrpgs should explore bizarre itch.io games and new systems that have no affiliation whatsoever with any major publishing house. If youre lucky enough to have a cool local community radio station nearby you should listen to that and what people close to you have to say and what they're creating that has no focus on being nationally appealing. I just think creation should be more joyful and local both in a geographic sense and a personal and social sense and unconcerned with whether or not it will be commercially viable or slick or even good beyond your own pride in it. And I think it's good to seek out art that exists for its own sake or to appeal to the community it was created within

i recently found hornet again after many a year of unproductive search. hopefully now with his time off he will be a useful answering guide to me furthermore. however one can be led to stone by a beetle, but the beetle cannot write the wills away of the waiting lord. they must write it to the stone themselves. as i now often find myself doing.

liminal space

something i forgot to mention in this post, is that after id left my room to do my chores, many stranger things had happened following the discovery of the strange dvd. id forgotten to include this for whatever reason, but the hot glue i was looking for was still lost. i could not make my bracelet or fix anything id needed to fix for some time since itd been missing. i had checked everywhere and after id walked my dogs, had asked my brother if he knew where it was and if he had it to just tell me and id use it and give it back. my brother had become so consumed by emotion, he grew angry, and it confused me greatly. he said “fine!” and ran to his room and retrieved a candle and a lighter then sat them down on the table. id asked him, “what are you doing?” rightfully confused. and hed just told me to wait and watch. he closed his eyes and started whispering over the lit candle flame and i watched as the candle light flickered and responded to his question. i was very concerned and confused and went to tell my mother. she was very angry after the whole hot glue incident with my brother earlier, i still do not know why, as it is just hot glue. but id found everyone strangely more upset than usual over this hot glue, so it was seeming to become a trend. and upon hearing about what i had just seen she was even more upset to hear what id told her. we were both very confused to where hed learned to do that and why hed done it at all. he told me hed asked it where the hot glue was and itd told him it was in the garage. it was not, infact, in the garage upon looking. so it was already a deceptive voice. but after that was done, the energy in the house had shifted. the lighting had felt a bit dimmer, everything just slightly darker than the usual for the night. and the energy around me was prickly like i could feel the static in the air. the turning point when id known something was wrong was when my dog, the black one, was sitting upstairs, and as i was walking up the stairs. his face hadnt stopped to look at my own, but instead up above my head toward the ceiling, and it stayed there until i was well up the stairs and approaching him. i followed his gaze as it shifted up the remainder of the stairs and to the foyer where we both sat. my dog absolutely lost his mind at that and ran straight into his kennel. when id approached him, hed growled at me. he was incredibly startled and wouldnt get near me or the stairs. i dont know what he saw, but obviously it wasnt good. and i felt it, at my back. i could feel a presence directly behind me following me around like a dog on a leash. i was startled and the feeling of it being so close had me on edge, as it followed me back to my room. at this, i stopped skimming through the strange dvd. and i was sick of feeling it hover over me. so i went and told my mother, and she said shed clean the energy in the house when shed sleep later, that she felt it become dreary as well. the dogs downstairs were freaking out the same, howling and barking. it was an unsettling night and sure enough, did not get better as the night went on. when everyone was asleep and the cleaning had been done, id stepped outside my room and tasted the energy around me. the sticky cold texture of peanut butter confection layed dormant in the air. like whatever it was that cast it outward was still and waiting. unable to move and possibly in an inbetween. i stayed in place and waited myself as well, to see if anything would change and sure enough i heard a faint tapping sound from somewhere in the house and what i could describe to be breathing, out in the foyer to the room adjacent of the hallway, and leading to the stairs. breathing like that found in sleep. though it did not bother me to hear, as it is heavily prominent in my reality to hear such things. though it soon dissipated as the night went on, and energy began to settle from its frenzied state into a clean page for a new day to be described on. that is all. a strange day filled with much stranger things. cant say id like for it to happen again.

I have my TV open at nights with no sound (everything’s subtitles here) to keep me company while I draw, write or read. I don’t watch it, but sometimes my attention turns to the TV for some reason.

As I’m drawing here now my head turned, almost on its own, to the TV. A woman was speaking in a crime series to a man. She said “We must understand that The God works on his own Divine timing.”

I’m like “Okay. A clear message. I’ve heard this previously, also delivered to me directly.”

Then, RIGHT after that, I put on an audio book Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss. It’s non-fiction book of Brian Weiss who discovered past lives together with his psychiatric patient. The audio books starts with the following:

“Everything comes when it must come. A life can not be rushed. Can not be worked on a schedule as so many people want it to be. We must accept what comes to us in the given time.”

doll came in !! she is scary … nothing can compare to the unnerving sense of utter and complete entrapment she holds you in when she makes insanely intense eye contact with you then starts asking you questions without using her words-,__,- gives me a brainbleedd

my mother already cleaned her insides twice but the spirits are many and she said shes been a vessel for so long she will need quite a few more cleanings before she is no longer staring into the depths of my minds inner conscious and begging me to attach myself to her

hopefully she will be completely clean soon, for now she is blessed and covered in charms

any advice given is advice appreciated