Philosopher’s Stone / Deathly Hallows

Eddie's a Douche

Roommate!Eddie Munson x Reader

A/N: Thinking silly Eddie thoughts after a long day of writing porn Eddie thots

Warnings: sex talk, period talk, cramps, written in tumblr app, Eddie has a douchebag jar like in New Girl

Masterlist

"Okaaaayyy," he grumbles, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in exasperation. "I will have sex with you."

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"Huh?"

"What the hell...did you just say, Eddie," you incredulously ask over the chorus of complaints from Steve and Robin.

Nodding his head, gesticulating like he's placating you. "I will have sex with you. Urrggh, twist my arm, why don't you," he complains, bobbing his head with played up frustration.

"I didn't ask to have sex with you. All I said was my cramps are bad today." You look at him like the insane person he is.

"Okay...," he looks around like you're missing the point. "But do you wanna?"

"Jar," you all shout in unison, pointing to the glass jar on the coffee table-the jar specifically labeled 'Eddie's a Douche.'

i love friends to lovers because they know everything there is to know about you and they still end up choosing you.

all your quirks, pet peeves, the bad days when all you want to do is rot in bed, the good days when you feel like you’ve got the world in your hands, the mood swings, sudden rushes of adrenaline, moments of insecurity, flashes of anger, endless laughter that you just can’t stop for the life of you — basically everything that makes you you, and they’re still like; yeah. i want that.

GIVE ME A CHARACTER;

and I’ll break their ass down:

How I feel about this character

All the people I ship romantically with this character

My non-romantic OTP for this character

My unpopular opinion about this character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

These two be like when they're a cat :

Template from VVV

Batman: Widening Gyre (2009) #1

truly the worst thing to ever happen to baseball.

this is devastating

Costume Appreciation: Christine Daaé in The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

long hair & tattoos (bill weasley & reader)

PAIRING: BILL WEASLEY // YOU PLATONIC: Fred Weasley/You, George Weasley/You

Summary:

You, (Y/N) Malfoy, despise your family’s views on blood purity. Unlike your little brother Draco, you won’t be roped into marrying for status. However, when your father, Lucius, puts down an ultimatum, you’re forced to find a lover for next week’s dinner. With his long hair, tattoos, piercings, and your father’s worst nightmare reincarnated in a man, who better to bring than a much older Bill Weasley?

What should’ve been one night of deceit turns to a battle of charades and wits. Just who will crumble first: your family, Bill, or you?

A/N: Guys, I am so excited for this. I was going back and forth between Bill and one of the twins. for this I know the twins would be more well-received, but Bill is perfect. So, I hope you love him (if not already) after this! I’ve wanted to write these tropes for so long: fake-dating, there-was-only-one bed, and so forth, hehe. Also, this story is heavily inspired by the song 18 by Anarbor (I dare say it wouldn’t have existed without it).

Tags: romance, faking dating, no-Voldemort-AU (the Malfoys are still awful though).

Warnings: age gap, pureblood politics

chapter directory

23, crazy (updated Feb 03, 2022)

baby, you’re in luck (updated Feb 06, 2022)

a heavy start (updated Feb 14, 2022)

i’ll play your game (updated Feb 28, 2022)

piss off your parents (updated March 08, 2022)

your daddy’s card(s) (updated March 29, 2022)

move in with me (updated April 06, 2022)

just a phase (updated April 21, 2022)

all grown up (updated May 17, 2022)

a malfoy summer (updated June 21, 2022)

white houses, red districts (updated July 21, 2022)

in love with me (updated July 25, 2022)

strawberry wonderland (updated August 3, 2022)

matters of matrimony (a mile away) (updated August 18, 2022)

that’s alright with me (end) (updated September 16, 2022)