Here It Comes, Sweetie. Don't Miss Any!

I respectfully disagree with SilverVixnnz opinion that all men who behave like her husband and your friends husband were once players.

I'd fall into the category of guys she's talking about and I was not a player. Experienced is a better word. I'd been promiscuous and serial dated a lot before I met my wife. Slept with a few over a couple dozen women while my wife had just two partners before me.

Never was a player though.

What she's talking about with the confidence and comparisons is pretty close to me though. It was the sleeping with many other women that makes it so I can appreciate my wife so much.

I'd like to respectfully disagree again though that guys like me are delusional in thinking our wives are the sexiest women out there. What we think, or me at least is that we have our sexiest woman. My wife is tall, small breasted, and blonde. She's sexy as fuck, but some guys like short, big breasted with dark hair. I'm not delusional. The guys I watch her with are into her type or they'd not be there. Maybe it validates me. I can't say certainly, I can say that watching her is the sexiest thing I can imagine though. No porn could ever compare. Watching other people in person doesn't compare.

I partly agree on the comparison to other women in swinging. We don't do it much. Usually it is because my wife is craving a womans touch. Same with the occasional threesome involving another woman. In those situations the biggest turn on is still my wife and I definitely feel like I've hit the jackpot with my wife afterwards. Even the greatest sex with another girl can't begin to compare to her. I don't think that is wrong. Everyone should feel like that if they picked the right partner in my opinion. If we are swapping I want the other guy to be thinking how fucking hot my lady is. I don't want him thinking his lady isn't best for him though. That is what picking the right partner should feel like. Nothing delusional about it. It is part of what makes swapping enhance a marriage for people like my wife and me. We fuck, we enjoy, then we appreciate that we have the best in eachother. We'd never have married in the first place if we didn't feel like that.

(This was reply 3 - string 4) pic 2 question niobats-pa-30mile search-FetL

You are missing the point. It isn't that your friend fucking other people makes her husband worship her. It is that it enhances the feelings already there. The situation you described tells me that her husband already had that view of her and he thinks of her as more sexually attractive than other girls including those found in porn. So for him he is seeing his beliefs confirmed. He also thinks so highly of her that seeing her pleasure seems like something that is deserved by her. When she acts out on his fantasies she's giving him confirmation that she is exactly as sexy as he believes. It makes him feel lucky to be with a girl so sexual and sexy. She goes from being what he imagines as sexier than any porn star to proving it true. The more she does this the more his beliefs are made to seem true. He now doesn't just imagine she's his porn goddess, he's sure of it.

The same thing applies to when they've swapped. He views her as the sexiest so in those situations he thinks how lucky the other guy is to sample his wife who he thinks so sexy. The woman he is with no matter how attractive or sexually gifted is proof to him that his own wife is the best because he now has a recent comparison which happened alongside him witnessing his wife with another.

Your friends idea that you try out an alternative sexual lifestyle is fine. Her thinking it gives women power over their husbands like that isn't. She already had the power and what they do increases it.

If she fucks a guy in front of him it is proof she's as sexy as he imagines.

If they swap it is proof he has the greatest wife.

How you describe your relationship it would not be the same thing. A husband loving you doesn't mean he fetishes or worships you.

Hotwifing can be either beneficial or harmful to a marriage. Same with swinging. Hotwifing breaks marriages quickly if the man isn't secure or if he doesn't have a special kink that drives it. The balance is off. Swinging is a 50/50 situation. If your relationship is super strong it will enhance it. You'll become closer, understand eachother better, and in general love and respect eachother more. If your relationship is not strong or one of you doesn't love the other completely it will bring out every problem. It will shine a bright light on fake feelings and ulterior motives.

I suggest you talk all of this over with your friend. Then talk it over with her husband. Get him to describe your friend. That will show you what I'm talking about. He probably thinks she farts rainbow colored sugar candies and walks on cotton candy clouds.

Then talk it over with your husband. Talk till nothing is left to say. Talk until no more secrets or worries could be hiding.

Then without getting mad at him have him describe you.

Maybe you're twice as pretty as your friend and twice as skilled in bed. Your husband is still not going to describe you like your friends husband describes her. He has a fetish and sees her differently than you do. He sees you differently because you aren't her too. If you decide to swing with them no matter how good you fuck and how hot you are her husband will be worshipful of her afterwards. He may really enjoy you. The more he enjoys you the more he'll think how great she is. No matter what he thinks she's best. Think of it as an extreme delusion that causes no harm.

Private me to continue. We've hijacked the entire topic.

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