You once made a promise to yourself: if you ever met a time traveler, it wouldn't be a big deal. You’d tell them the date, the most important political conflict, a recent technology, and send them on their way. You now encounter a time traveler nearly every week.
When the eldest of the royal children was kidnapped and brought to the ritual table to be the new vessel for the cult's god, they seem oddly fine with it. It was in the middle of the ritual that the eldest royal revealed…
Through a series of events you find out that your party members have all been replaced by a mimic, a skinwalker, a changeling, and a shapeshifter. You don’t bring up that you know this however as they’re a lot nicer and more efficient then the ones they replaced.
A vampire has worked at the local 7-11 for the past 5 decades. No one has the heart to slay them—partly because they're a good employee, but mostly because they think the vampire is doing a "great job" hiding their vampirism (they're really not).
Death looks at you, baffled. “You’re not supposed to be dead.” You raise a brow. “I’m not?” “Nope,” Death says. “Huh… that’s never happened before.” Confused, you ask, “Do I get to go to an afterlife now?” Death shrugs. “You can’t, because you’re not officially dead.”
You have had an absolutely terrible life and decided to go to the fae realm and start screaming your name, hoping to be forgotten or erased. But instead, the king and queen of the fae have gained an odd interest in your existence.
Neurodivergent assassin who very casually uses their weapons as stim.
Turning on and off the safety of their gun. Tapping and spinning their dagger. Watching the poison in the vial move as they flip in and then back.
Nobody says anything because...well they're an assassin.
Turns on safety, presses trigger, turns off safety repeat.
People around them are in constant fear.
Chewing the end of their poison tipped dagger when they try to figure out a plan.
Wash their hands too much cause they don't like how sticky blood is.
However overtime it becomes a weird single to others.
Everyone is anxious trying to figure something out and they hear a little "click click" and it's just slightly calming to know that they have this person there and they are thinking of a plan.
Someone hands them a drink but it flows just a little too weird and they are like, "hmm that's poison" then chuck it because they have built up immunity.
No table that doesn't have something carved into it.
Never a situation where they don't have enough bullets because this person takes out the cartridge and puts it back as stim.
They take apart their guns and put them back over time being crazy fast and efficient with it.
Just give me a neurodivergent assassin/spy.
Usually it’s video games instead of music but this is pretty much accurate hehe
"That's the problem with you heroes. All you ever do is react. You fight the symptoms of disease and act as though that's the same as treating it's source."
"Spare me the speech, alright?"
The villain stared out the window at the raging snowstorm. Then they checked their calendar. It confirmed that the season was still, in fact, summer. The villain decided to give the hero a call.
“Hello?” The hero said when they picked up.
“Did you cause a blizzard so I couldn’t be trouble today?” The villain asked.
“I’m out of town for the day. I wanted to make sure you’d behave,” the hero said.
“I was supposed to go to the beach today!”
“Not my problem,” the hero responded. “You can go out tomorrow.”
The villain hung up the phone with an annoyed huff.
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