I’ve Heard A Lot Of People Talk About The EXCELLENT Potential Of A High Intelligence/low Wisdom Dnd

literally nothing is funnier than just living your life with a cat in a sweater vest. constantly feels like he’s about to offer to do my taxes

The Spider Queen

They were the one thing her mother hated and her father loved, the three tarantulas that had come to visit the little girl with the pink toy teapot that poured out real tea. She was always happy to see them, would get out her mismatched teaset and hand out cups - light pink for Jer, hot pink for Kei, and yellow for Mey. 

She had always been a rather odd child. Her mother a bitter human and her father an elven druid in search of knowledge, and herself a half-elf. She had a proficiency for accidental magic, even before the expected age. Yet no one could explain how she conjured tea into her little pink teapot, fresh and steaming. She refused to say, simply smiling and saying that the spiders had taught her. 

When she started school, both parents were relieved, hoping their daughter would begin to make friends with other elves or humans, or half-elves. For a bit, they thought it was working. Their daughter spoke of three little ones that she enjoyed spending time with, named Jer, Kei, and Mey. She came home with various gifts gift from the three, from a beautifully and expertly crafted white silk hair tie to a dress woven in patterns that even the most professional seamstress hadn’t seen before to a simple black friendship bracelet woven from what looked hair. Her parents were willing to ignore these strange gifts in favor of being happy that their child was interacting with other humans. 

Then, of course, the school sent a letter telling them to visit the school while the children were at lunch. The teacher sat them down, explaining that the girl didn’t interact with other children, and at recess sat beside a tree and talked to three large, alarming spiders. No matter how hard the school had tried, they were unable to either get the tarantulas off of the premises nor were they able to convince her to get them to leave. Her parents were disappointed, watching throughout recess as their daughter ran off from the group of children heading for the playground to sit beside a tree and talk to the spiders that had grown exponentially. They were now half the size that she was, and clicking their pincers excitedly. 

The parents could do nothing, no matter what they tried - banishing spells, fire, forbidding her to ever see the spiders again. They watched as their daughter grew up, hitting puberty and pimples breaking out along her face, her insecurities arising, the spiders following her nearly everywhere; her first heartbreak, and the ensuing hug(?) that lasted forever; when she graduated, they were waiting offstage for her and clicking their pincers along with the rest of the crowd’s applause. By that time, they were as large as she was. 

She got all A’s in her classes, excelling most in nature magic, a battered little pink teapot in her backpack always. When she went off to college, they went too, and her parents frowned in disapproval at it, but said nothing. She studied history, memorizing tales of the Spider Queen, an evil woman taught and mentored by three spiders who influenced her to take over the world. 

It made her think of herself, to an extent, but never once had Jer, Kae, or Mey ever tried to tell her to take over the world. Instead, they told her that she could accomplish her goals, she was better than she believed herself to be, and listening to the bullies of her school was a bad idea. She trusted them, after they had kept her from losing herself to her own low self-esteem. So, when they told her that she was who she read about, she trusted them. She refused however, to do as her previous self had done, and rule the world. 

Instead, she pursued a career as a Shaman, a helper and selfless person who didn’t worry for herself and instead helped maintain the balance of light at dark, knowing that without one there couldn’t be the other. Her career led to her own writings, published works that gave her a name in the history books, one her past life had already had. The Spider Queen. 

Image Prompt

I don’t believe in astrology but one time when I was in college I was complaining about how dumb astrology was and after a while someone on the train went “Shut the hell up and let people have fun you Capricorn sun, Virgo moon bitch” and I was like what the fuck

Then I went home and looked it up and they were right so I don’t say anything anymore

*googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x

It costs you literally nothing to leave service dogs the fuck alone.

just gonna leave this here…

it was never really about health

Having read the books (I’m on book five of the first series, so technically still reading) It’s an amazing series

A few of my favourite Percy Jackson quotes.

This fake yarn is supposedly better for sheep.

Aimed at people who don’t know where wool comes from, it’s 100% plastic. Yes, plastic.

So any garment you wash will release microfibres into the sea. It’ll never decompose.

You’re supposed to believe that sheep shearing is violent and cruel. There are imbeciles out there that work in an unprofessional manner while shearing, but that’s not the case overall.

Sheep don’t suffer from having their fleece removed.

Left on, the fleece can become a home for fly eggs and the subsequent maggots which can eat the sheep. Chemical treatments are available to prevent that happening. It’s much better for the sheep, the land and the farmer to avoid chemical use.

Don’t be fooled. Wool is a sustainable material, one we should make more and better use of.

The medical community on literally every female specific health issue ever: “very common condition” “no known cause” “no known cure” :))))))

I know there is gender dyshporia, but that leads me to wondering what other types of dysphoria there are. Species dysphoria, I’m sure, is one of them. Sometimes - often, lately -  I feel like I’m experiencing it, feel like I don’t belong to the human race. I’m not sure what race I belong to, who my mother nor my sire are. 

I look back and we come from Ireland, and I’m curious to know if I’m a Fae from Celtic mythology, if I was born as part of the Seelie or Unseelie Courts - but I can’t know, because to my knowledge I’m human. It sucks to be human, you don’t have special powers, no one doubts your existence - no one has a firm and hopeful faith in you appearing to them. 

I exist as nonbinary. Around me I see men, and women, and boys, and girls - I see transitioning genders, I see a binary all around me that I exist outside of. I feel like a creature in a world of humans, trying to blend in, calling myself one thing to one side and another thing to the other, and I feel torn. Do I say I’m nonbinary, and risk rejection or mocking? Or do I say I’m a boy, and risk almost the same thing. 

Maybe there’s a monster burning inside me, aching to get out and wreak havoc. To consume people and rip them apart, paint with their blood and keep their eyes as pretty little trophies. I don’t know what I feel the impulse to do half of the time, just that I don’t because it would hurt others. I know that I do have that side of myself where the impulses come from, where my animalistic thoughts reside. I know I can’t ever let those out, lest I lose everything I care for.