I frown. "You have a therapist?"
He scoffs. "I kill people for a living. Of course I have a therapist! Pamela is completely qualified, if that's what you're worried about."
My brow furrows. "So...you want me, your public nemesis number 1, to come to your home, chill in your guest room, and chat with your therapist?"
He rolls his eyes. "That's not...actually, yeah. That's pretty accurate."
"Why?"
"I need someone around that I'm not paying to keep me company."
I think that was supposed to be a joke, but his delivery was a bit to dry, too forced. Is he...lonely? I shake my head. "But why are you offering that to me? What if I say no?"
He growls. "I just offered you mercy. Your life. And your questioning me? I threatened your life and you actually asked me to.... I don't think you're okay." He folds his arms as if to say, I win. Give it your best shot. The prick even raises his eyebrows to taunt me. Jerk.
I grit my teeth. "So you just want me to sit around your house all day? Where's the fun in that?"
He rubs a hand on his temples. "What part of 'talk to my therapist' did you not understand? I'm serious. We've been fighting over this kingdom for years, and you've always put up a fight."
I know when I've lost a fight, and this is no different. I have a feeling that even if I sit down and refuse to move, he would knock me out and take me back anyway.
I sigh. "Fine, I'll meet Pamela. She better be a good listener."
Under the mask, I think I can see a smile. "She is."
And I know I must have imagined it, but later, I could swear that he mumbled under his breath, "And so am I."
When the villain demanded that you submit or be destroyed you just apathetically shrugged and braced yourself for death. You were surprised when the villain did not kill you and instead offered you a nice, comfortable room and an appointment with their personal therapist.
The little girl watched as the kind man held her brother.
A single tear ran down his cheek, and she felt one on her own face.
Even the kind man was crying.
The little girl looked out the window of his shop and surveyed the scene. The blood, the cars, the flashing lights of cop cars, ambulances, and firetrucks alike.
Behind her, her brother sobbed, “I’m sorry, Ella.”
Ella cried into her hands silently, wishing she could make a sound, touch him. She felt a tug, deep inside her, but she fought it.
A paramedic was tending to her brother, wrapping his wounds and scolding him for putting himself in danger.
“Ella was in trouble,” he said stubbornly.
The kind man held his good hand. “Is the girl going to be okay?”
The paramedic stayed quiet.
Ella ignored the tugging, sobbing silently, screaming into the soundless void.
He spoke again. “Did they catch the man who hit her?”
Ella watched as the paramedic shook his head slowly, and her brother screamed in anger.
More people came in and out of the shop. Police officers wanting to question her brother and the kind man, medics checking on him, and finally, their parents made it through the backed up traffic and yellow tape, bursting in to hug their son tearfully.
“It wasn’t your fault,” they whispered over and over again.
Ella agreed with them, trying to join their hug.
This time she couldn’t fight the tugging. She was pulled away from her family.
Forever.
"Kid, sit down." The man held a hand on the injured teen's shoulder. "You almost died twenty minutes ago. Take a breath."
"But someone has to go out there and save her! It's my fault she—"
"It's nobody's damn fault but the bastard who did this. You're not responsible for everyone else. The sooner you learn that, the better."
Edward strolled through the woods, whistling as he carried a basket of rolls on his arm. He’d been walking for almost two hours, but his feet were still light as he practically skipped through the shadows.
There was a low growl that stopped him in his tracks. He peered through the darkness. “Juno? Is that you?”
The answering snarl that came had Edward groaning. Of course it wasn’t. This happened at least every other time he came to the woods.
Still, he couldn’t stop the shiver of fear he felt travel down his spine when the creature stepped into the light. It looked like a leopard, but it was an odd shade of red, and almost as big as a hippo.
Edward didn’t move, closing his eyes against what he knew would happen next. Sure enough, a few seconds later, the attack came.
A rush of air and a sharp growl as the creature pounced, a roar, a yowl as the creature was tackled to the ground. Then, a wet slashing sound and a whimper.
“Can I open my eyes yet?” Edward asked awkwardly.
A smacking and gulping answered his question. He swallowed, feeling slightly sick.
“Never mind.”
A few moments passed before the clearing fell silent.
A sweet voice broke through Edward’s thoughts. “It’s clear now.”
He opened his eyes and grinned at the young woman standing in front of him. “Thanks.”
She shrugged, returning his smile. She reached out a hand and he took it, walking with her to the small, hidden cabin where she lived.
Edward set his basket of rolls on her table. “Here you are, m’lady. The monthly bribe to not eat me or anyone else.”
She laughed. “What did you bring me this time, Edward?”
He pushed it toward her, and she opened it, gasping with delight at the fresh rolls. “My favorite! Thank you!”
She immediately grabbed one and started eating it.
Edward laughed. “Slow down, Juno! I didn’t think you’d have any room left right now! Did you see the size of that thing?! What was that, by the way?”
Juno swallowed with a gulp. “Red leopard.” She snickered at the look on Edward’s face before she took another bite, speaking with her mouth full. “Creative, I know. And I’ll always make room for your baking. Especially rolls!”
Edward laughed, but didn’t say anything.
It took Juno a moment before she noticed, but when she did, her brow wrinkled with concern. “What’s wrong? It didn’t hurt you, did it?”
“No,” Edward rushed to reassure her. “I’m fine. I just don’t understand why you won’t come back with me. No one would care!”
He ignored the raised eyebrows Juno sent him. “It would be fine, it would! I’d make sure no one bothered us!”
Juno sighed, putting down her roll. “Because, they would care. Your village may not be very smart, since they haven’t figured…this out. And it’s been almost three years. But they would definitely notice if you brought a girl out of the woods and the “monster” disappeared without a trace.”
“They wouldn’t know it’s you!” Edward insisted. “They don’t know that you can shift. They just think you’re the wolf shape. They wouldn’t have to know! Please,” he begged.
Juno looked away. She couldn’t resist that face.
“So…what?” Edward finally said, hurt. “What are we doing? I can’t live in the woods with you. I’ve only survived this long because of you. I’d be dead in the first week. You won’t come back to town with me.”
Juno closed her eyes, shaking her head.
“I can’t keep doing this,” Edward whispered.
There was a sharp breath, and then both of them had tears sliding down their cheeks. They cried silently together for several minutes, neither of them wanting to move.
Finally, Edward stood slowly.
“No,” Juno pleaded. “Don’t go.”
She knew that if he left now, he wouldn’t come back.
“Have you changed your mind?” He asked quietly. When she shook her head, he sighed. “I’m sorry. Please…spare the village. If you’re mad, take it out on me, not them.”
“Just go,” Juno ground out. “I’ll leave them alone.”
Edward walked to the door and opened it, then paused, turning back. “If…”
Juno looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks.
He sighed. “If you change your mind, or come up with another solution, you know where to find me.”
She nodded.
Her plan had backfired on her. What had started as simple fun and games, had turned explosive, and it had just blown up in her face.
She never expected to get hurt in the process.
Every so often, the local baker must bake something and personally deliver it to the monster in the woods, and in exchange the monster leaves the village alone. What no one knows is, the monster actually has a huge crush on the baker and needs an excuse to see them.
“Today has been pretty good. Not many visitors. I started a new book about-” My voice cuts off abruptly as I stare at her. “You…you just wasted your question. Why would you do that?”
She smiles gently. “I didn’t need it.”
“But…” I am lost. Confused. “Why?”
“Because,” she says, reaching out and putting her hand on my arm. “I thought you could use a friend. So could I. What’s your book about?”
Numbly, I start explaining the intricacies of my book, offering her some refreshments.
And that is how the strangest friendship I’ve ever had began.
You have been a mountaintop prophet for 1,000 years. Each person only gets one question and you’re sure you’ve heard every question that can be asked. Until one day someone uses their one question to ask, “How are you doing?”
Jane sighed. “Fine.”
Andy frowned. “Huh. I thought you would put up more of a fight.”
“Well,” she shrugged. “I know you. For you, that was as close to an apology as you’ll probably ever get.”
He nodded. She wasn’t wrong.
“And,” she added, throwing him a small smile. “I forgive you.”
"Don't you have something to say?"
"Well, I don't like to apologize, so no, not really. I feel like we can comfortably just move forward from here."
Sylvie looked away. "Can we not talk about this?"
Brady shook his head. "No. I want to know the truth. I am an awful person! I'm not proud of it, but at least I know that. Why do you keep me around?"
"Please," Sylvie begged. "I don't want to talk about this. You're a good person. Let's talk about that fire you helped put out last week, or the person you saved from the kidnapping three days ago. Or hey, we can talk about how you aren't too proud and boastful!"
Brady frowned. "Sylvie, I'm not a good person. I started the fire on accident, the person still got hurt, and I literally brag any chance I get. Why the hell haven't you kicked me to the curb yet?!"
Sylvie shook her head quickly. "No. Not happening. I'm not talking about this."
She started to walk away, but Brady reached out and grabbed her arm.
"You can't even tell me why I don't suck!" Brady's voice was rising, ignoring the pleading look Sylvie was sending him. "I'm going to leave before I actually hurt someone, and you can't say anything to make me stay!"
He finally dropped her arm and started to turn away, leaving Sylvie standing there.
Brady was halfway to the door when her voice stopped him.
"You want to know why I keep you around?"
He nodded without speaking, without turning around.
"Because I love you."
"You know what? I fucking suck! Like, how the hell do you even put up with me?"
"Hey, don't say that about—"
"Why not? It's true. I know don't have enough redeeming qualities to keep around."
“I don’t get it.”
I sigh. “I know. Me either.”
My boyfriend scratches his head in confusion. “You’re telling me that you are the biological daughter of Death. That Death actually…did the deed with someone? That just seems so wrong.”
I nod in agreement. “I don’t even know who it was. My money is on one of the old gods. But it could have been a mortal.”
Jake wrinkles his nose. “You don’t think it was a ghost, do you?”
I roll my eyes. “Not really how it works. So, no. Anyway, I kinda gave up asking several years ago. He’s my dad, he loves me, and he’ll tell me literally anything except who my mom is. Besides, am I really missing that much?”
Jake crosses his arms. “Yes! I love my mom! You should ask again. You need a good excuse though…”
“Don’t be silly!” I reach over and smack him lightly. “I’m not going to bug my dad just to satisfy your curiosity on a subject that he has made it clear he doesn’t want to discuss! Grow up!”
“Ow,” Jake mutters, glaring playfully and rubbing his arm. His eyes light up. “Ooh, say you need to know for your medical records! Or a genealogy assignment for school!”
“He-” I stop. Actually, he might believe the medical one. I look away, refusing to play the game. “No.”
“Come on!”
I shake my head.
“Please,” Jake pleads, giving me his puppy dog eyes.
I lose the staring contest and groan, going inside the house to see if I can get an answer this time.
Ten minutes later, I come back outside.
Jake is practically bouncing with excitement. “Well? What did he say?”
When I stay quiet, he deflates a bit. “Didn’t work?”
“Oh, it worked,” I say quietly.
Jake is breathless. “And?”
I look up at him, an unreadable expression on my face.
“My mother is Queen Elizabeth II.”
You are the child of Death. Everyone always assumes that you were adopted, but you are in fact Death's biological child, although they are unwilling to tell how exactly this happened.
“In our defense, sir, he is a VERY large man.”
The captain exploded with anger. “That’s why I sent the WHOLE ARMY, IDIOT!”
The soldiers backed away in fear. One man stepped out of the crowd.
“Sir,” he said tentatively. “If I might offer a suggestion?”
The captain groaned and rubbed his temples. “Fine. Yes, what is it?”
“Perhaps,” the man said. “Perhaps we could find our own giant. If we can match that giant with another, they would distract each other long enough for us to take the castle back.”
“Yes,” the captain said slowly. “Yes. That’s a good plan. Do that.”
The men looked around at each other.
The captain sighed. “Did I stutter? DO IT! NOW!”
Soldiers jumped and ran around, running into each other in their haste to follow orders.
The captain looked up at the sky and groaned.
“It is one man, by himself, in a castle on a hill. How does an ENTIRE ARMY fail to take it???”
I pause. "Centuries?"
My brother nods. "Centuries, blah blah blah, prophecy, blah blah blah, chosen one, blah blah, overthrown and killed, you get the point. I'm outta here!"
He looks a bit too excited for my comfort. I gently extract my newborn daughter from my older brother's arms, slowly taking the dagger out of her hands.
"Mom told me you're 10 years older than me, and that's why you've been king as long as I can remember." I say carefully. Has he finally snapped? I knew the war was wearing on him, but this?
He rolls his eyes. "Try 287 years older than you. And "Mom" isn't really MY mom. Really, I thought you would have figured it out by now. I did try to leave you hints."
I can only stare at him. "But...how? Why?"
He shrugs. "Cursed, evil fairy, 'wasn't invited,' (her sister hid the invite, it wasn't my fault!), you get the idea."
I clutch my daughter a little tighter. "So no one has noticed that you've been on the throne for 200 years?"
"No, people are surprisingly unobservant. Every 30 years or so, I 'get sick' and fake my death, my 'son' rising to power. It's surprisingly easy to do."
My eyes widen in horror. "You're not my dad, right? Mom said he died a few years after i was born!"
He shudders. "Eww, no! Obviously, she knew and helped me lie about it, but no. For all intents and purposes, I'm still your older brother. Your family line has descended from my younger brother."
I can hardly believe my ears. "Why didn't Mom tell me the truth?"
My brother sighs. "There are some stupid people in this kingdom that actually like the way I rule, despite my best efforts to rile them up and get them to assassinate me (doesn't work by the way, someone tried that 173 years ago).
"If they knew the truth, that your child would finally take me out of power, you'd better believe that you wouldn't have lived past 5 years old. Despite my best efforts, there are still a few people out there who know the prophecy."
"So you want my infant child to stab you right now?!" I ask in disbelief. "I can understand the rest, but that would leave ME in charge until she's of age. And she would be crowned while she was still a child! Do you really want that for the kingdom?"
He rolls his eyes again. "I don't care."
"How are you so sure that it's her?"
He closes his eyes, remembering the prophecy. "'Spinner's daughter, without sister or brother, shall end your reign, and she will prosper.' Not a great prophecy as far as the contents. It barely rhymes, but it gave me hope that there would be an end to ...this.
"But if it means that much to you, I guess I can wait a few more years. But I will be telling her the truth, the WHOLE truth!"
I nod. "Me too," I say quietly.
17 years later, at my daughters birthday party, my brother's butler comes to find me, in a panic.
"Your Higness, your brother has fallen ill! It's quite bad. You should come see him."
I follow him up the stairs to my brother's room.
"What's the matter?" I ask when I see him, lying in his bed.
He smiles weakly. "I'm not sure when she did it, but she must be behind this. I'm so-" He cuts off in a coughing fit.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, tears filling my eyes. "I wish it could be different. Do you want to see her?"
He shakes his head. "Don't spoil her fun, it's her birthday. And I'm happy, I really am. I'll see my wife, my kids, my parents and siblings."
He sighs happily. "I've been dreaming about this for centuries."
An hour later, my older brother dies in his bed, 200 years overdue.
My daughter cries at her beloved uncle's death, though she wipes away her tears and puts on a brave face for the coronation the next morning.
The kingdom mourns his death for the final time, even as they celebrate their first queen in 275 years.
No one notices me slipping into the background of the party, hiding a small black bottle in my hand.
When I dump it out the window, the plants underneath it shrivel up and die.
“Why are you giving my newborn baby a dagger?!” “Well they’re a choosen one, which means that I’m destined to be killed by them; but honestly I’ve been waiting centuries for them to be born and I just want to get it over with.”
She doesn't even bat an eye.
My face must look horrified. "Did you- Did you see anything?"
"Hmm, what? Oh, that. Yes, I saw." She goes back to washing dishes.
I can hardly believe it. "Aren't you shocked? Or, or scared? Or mad?"
She shrugs. "Honey, you've done this before. Now, I won't lie, the first time was a bit of a shock!" She laughs beautifully.
"First time? There have been multiple times you've seen me?!"
"Oh, yes! The first time, I woke up in the middle of the night and you had shifted during a nightmare. I almost screamed, but I didn't want to wake you."
"Aren't you confused though?" My brow furrows.
She shakes her head. "I googled it years ago! And anyway, I know that I love you, no matter what you look like. As long as you do laundry every once in a while and put the plates in the dishwasher, we'll be okay."
She fixes me with a stern look, and I nod quickly. "Deal!"
She resumes washing the dishes, then pauses. "You might still want to be careful of when you're in this...form. The neighbors would probably call the cops on you."
you are a shapeshifting monster who has been blending in with society for years. Today you accidently shifted back in front of your significant other.
She sighed. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
I shrugged. “Just trying to lighten the mood, Sara. You look tense.”
She growled - growled! - at me. “Look, we only have 5 more minutes before this thing explodes. Or…whatever it’s going to do. I’d rather not find out. Pass me that paper.”
I pantomimed zipping my lips, and sat back, watching her frantically scribble on the paper, trying to figure out the right code to shut off the machine.
3 minutes went by. I couldn’t help myself. “Need help yet?”
Sara was practically shaking with nerves. “I can’t figure it out! I’ve tried everything!”
I leaned forward and gently took the paper out of her hands. She tried to snatch it back and I tossed it in the trash.
She threw up her hands in frustration. “Fine! You try then!” She glanced at the timer.
A minute and a half.
I grinned as I leaned around her and pressed a few buttons. The timer started counting down faster.
I winced. “Whoops.”
Sara groaned and slumped down with her head in her hands.
I rolled my eyes and pressed a few more buttons, making the machine stop counting completely. She slowly looked up. “Wha- How? I mean, thank you, but…”
I gave her a mock bow. “If you had listened to me before, I could have told you that I had two codes to try. Got one out of the genius’ brother and the other out of the maker himself. Didn’t know which was the right one, but I was about 75% sure one of them would work.”
Sara blushed sheepishly. “I- sorry. I should have listened to you.”
I shrugged. “If it makes you feel better, you were only off by one number.”
She hugged me. “Thanks. Now what do we do?”
I grinned mischievously, and grabbed a bat from the corner of the garage.
"Would you stop trying to help?" She snapped. "You're getting in the way. I just need to do things my way right now."
"Oh. Yeah. I'll just...sit here and be eye candy. That's all I'm good for."
As my 4 year old self said, "I want to be a writer down book worder!" I didn't know the word "author," but I knew that what I wanted to do, so here I am!
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