The Pain Of Self Disciplining Yourself Is Better Than The Pain Of Regret 

Things I Learned In Research

I only finished my first research project out of many, but I already learned some game-changing things that I wish I knew earlier.

1. It’s okay to mess up. In fact, it should be encouraged (within reason). You learn so many more intimate details about your work from mistakes than from successes. PCRs fail even when you’re careful, and animal models don’t behave like they’re supposed to. Undergrad labs can make you feel stupid when your experiment doesn’t work, but in research, mistakes happen all the time. Document them and learn from them. 

2. There’s a lot of waiting around. Experiments can be slow. Progress in your project can be even slower. Manage your time between experiments so that it’s not wasted; read, write a chapter, scribble some ideas, or just close your eyes and think. All time is valuable. 

3. If you can figure out a new way to do something, do it. There might not be a formal protocol you have to follow. If you think of an efficient way to observe something, go for it. Practice thinking outside the box. 

4. There’s a lot less rules than you think there are. Of course, follow lab safety rules. But the lab is a resource- use it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells somewhere you belong. 

5. Stay true to your findings. This isn’t an undergrad laboratory course. You’re looking at novel stuff here. Don’t play up or fake your data to impress your supervisor. That helps no one- tell it like it is. Believe in your work. 

6. Your lab mates are not here to criticize you. They are your colleagues and mentors- ask them for help if you need it. Your work is important to their work too. You matter just as much as them. 

I can’t possibly list all the things I learned, because this research experience has changed how I think in such integral ways, but here are a few anyway. I’m sure this is only the beginning. 

Feel free to add anything that you learned!

The feelings that I have buried under the ground for a long time are coming up.

Conceal, don't feel.

Go away.

Princess Tips

No matter what you look like, genuine kindness and good thoughts will shine through your face and make it look soft and beautiful

Rub a little moisturizer onto your cheekbones each morning to make your skin glow 

Use pink eyeshadow during the day for an angelic look and gold eyeshadow for royal evening events

Dress in clothes that fit well and make you feel good. Make sure you wash them on the proper settings so they don’t fade or shrink and cut away loose threads 

Practice good posture! You can’t look regal with your shoulders hunched or your head down (your imaginary tiara will fall off)

Speaking of tiaras, you can replicate this look on a daily basis by putting in a sparkly hair clip or two

Always be kind and compassionate to animals and children- even consider volunteering

You don’t need a lot of possessions to be royal, you just need to take care of what you have (go for quality over quantity when it comes to home decor and clothes)

Practice your hobbies and skills to be sophisticated and classy

Study hard in school since princesses are always well educated

Sing or dance around a little while doing boring household chores

Be polite to people but also know your worth with a quiet dignity and don’t tolerate being treated badly

Remember you’re a princess no matter what!

Life tips?

I’ll answer this question by echoing notes I’ve left for myself in my journal:

Eyes on the prize while you stop to smell the roses

You are loved, even when you don’t feel like it and even when those that love you don’t do it in the most efficient ways

Try not to take shit personally, everyone is just projecting

The success you’re looking for is in the work you’re avoiding

If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you

Outgrow feeling like you have to play small to protect peoples feelings

The pain of self-discipline is better than the pain of regret

If you allow a man to feed you he has the power to starve you—be independent and have your own income and assets

If God puts rice in your basket, there is no point in wishing for soup—instead of wallowing in self-pity, make the most of your situation and excel

Fashion is for your everyday life, not just for big occasions

Your brain changes more in your twenties than at any other time in your adult life—whatever it is that you want to change about yourself, now is the time to do it by building good habits

Speed is relatively unimportant, forward is forward

Low self-esteem often leads to adverse self-fulfilling prophecies; break the cycle and build a strong sense of self-worth

The people who reach the greatest heights are not always the strongest, nor the most intelligent; they are the most responsive to change

Some of these are truisms I’ve found on Tumblr, some are quotes from books I’ve read, some are wisdom I’ve received from the people in my life, and others are things I’ve realized from self-reflection. This probably wasn’t the most organized but I hope it was still helpful! ❣️

Your daily reminder to pull-your-shit-together. Remove the distractions. Delete the apps. Use flight mode. This is your one life. All those people you see making moves, do you think they’re sat there wasting their morning scrolling when they have shit to do? No, they’re up, working out, meditating, writing, reading, doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get them to where they want to be. Stop holding yourself back, you have so much potential, you’re literally the cause and the cure. Do you want you to do well? Live the life of your dreams? Well babygirl it’s not gonna happen unless you break out of these unproductive habits. You need to get into momentum, you need to have a plan and stick to it. You need to channel your energy into moving forward. You can do this, let’s go! 

The number of times I've changed my ringtone to make it peaceful is insane.

The moment I hear my ringtone, all the peace and silence leaves me with the coming onset of dread and anxiety.

I’ll never regret someone that I had an amazing time and experience with. Even if we fall off. You made my life special at a certain time. We grew together, even if we grew apart. Thank you

When thinking about life,

Remember this:

No amount of guilt can change the past

And no amount of anxiety can change the future.

• 11thJune 2021 •

I got the shot for Covid vaccine today. It was a little chaotic because I was not prepared for that at all.

For something to happen two days later, I need to be informed and written down in my to-do list so that I have time to prepare my appropriate energy and moods.