When You Can't Find A Fanfic That's The Way You Want, So You Need To Write It Yourself

I once saw someone pointing out that the marauders fandom writers never give pets to the characters in fanfictions, and that's been on my mind ever since

Cat King's introduction is so iconic.

He sends an army of cats to greet you. Those cats eat a man. He transforms from cat to human. He kidnaps you in an instant. He calls you out for being a gay, repressed twink in love with your best friend. He gives you a bracelet. He tries to fuck you. He tells you to count some cats (not a euphemism).

The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around

Grant Chapman is so "all my love" by Noah Kahan

can't decide if being a remus kinnie is something to be proud of, or something to be concerned

Also, let us not forget that Bee also matched Andrew's freak. She didn't win that little gremlin over by being kind and patient. She won him over by Playing His Game and being a worthy opponent - her main tool was just probably her patience ("oh we're sitting in total silence for an hour? Sure why not. Oh, we're gonna have a staring contest while we do it? Yeah okay I'm down. Let's see who cracks first ^_^ <3")

I mean yeah it helped that she's probably incredibly kind and understanding. But I truly headcanon Bee as being a lil cut throat herself. Like Neil but Nice And Warm And With Chocolate.

She won't let Andrew hide. But she won't drag him out kicking and screaming either. She'll wait until he comes to her, gives his consent in being Read For Filth, and then Bee will happily oblige with razor sharp precision, no remorse, with a smile and some hot chocolate on the side

BEE MATCHED ANDREW'S FREAK TOO

Neil Gaiman's favorite trope

Regulus, forgets the English word for lid :where is the … um… *insert french word for lid*

James: what?

Regulus holding up his cup: where is his hat?

James:

texts sent to Neil the first month Andrew spends away at his first pro team