If Sleepy Hollow is going to connect Danny’s emotional manipulation to covert emotional abuse then I will say season 3 of Sleepy Hollow transcends mere entertainment. At first glance, Danny’s character seems like a nice guy, but his comments and behaviors throughout the session belie a sense of entitlement to Abbie’s affections and attention that goes beyond him just being her boss. He appears to be the model of a “nice guy;” that is, the guys who like to think they are nice but who actually don’t respect their partner’s independent interests. Abbie is one of my absolutely favorite heroines ever written. To show that even a “tough person” like Abbie can get caught up with one of these “nice guys” would be such an amazing statement about the reality of emotionally abusive relationships.
Danny has literally done nothing but try to control Abbie through swinging from charming, flirty, nice-guy behavior to guilt trips and yelling at her since she got back from the catacombs. Even before she disappeared, his behavior toward her in “This Red Lady from Caribee” showed his true feelings toward her as a person who should exist at the mercy of his whims loud and clear. Recall, the wasp sting only revealed the person’s deepest fears; it did not create those fears. When Daniel Reynolds says, “you just can’t see what you do to people,” he’s actually blaming Abbie for his not being able to get over her emotionally. Even prior to that in the car, he accuses her of manipulating him likely due to his being threatened by her having some emotional pull on him.
The Hidden One is the clear, stereotypical abuser: narcissistic and completely unapologetic. He resorts to physical abuse the second his significant other withholds information from him. He even revels in his ability to punish her physically. This is the person who would brag to his friends about “putting her in her place.” If Pandora is killed at the end of the session due to her leaving him, it is a direct mirror to the fact that many women who leave their violent partners are in the most danger after they leave. That is when most victims of abuse are killed.
Daniel Reynolds is a much more insidious abuser. He’s the man who thinks he would never abuse his romantic partner. His abuse is completely unintentional, subconscious. That is why the victim would likely take a much longer time to recognize the abuse. His emotional manipulation is firmly grounded in his internal beliefs of superiority over his partner and his entitlement to be treated as such. Many people have mentioned how he is keeping secrets from Abbie but is constantly snapping at her and making her feel guilty for keeping secrets from him. That, my friends, is not just a red flag; it is a glaring “exit” sign. Anyone who feels entitled to their own secrets while belittling someone else for theirs is not someone to partner with on a professional level, much less a personal one! The sad fact is, it’s working. Abbie thinks all the strain between Danny and her is her fault. Abbie tried to tell him she needed time after coming back and asked him to be patient with her. That is what he’s now using as ammo to convince her she’s being unreasonable toward him. How many times has he said, “I’ve been more than patient” to her? (And what does that phrase even mean? How can a person be more than patient? You either are patient and respectful or you’re not.) That’s the magic of this type of abuse. It saps the victim of a sense of agency and leads them to doubt their own emotions and actions. This is the same objective as the more stereotypical abuse profile of The Hidden One, but most people outside of the relationship would only see the attractive, charming Danny who genuinely insists he’s only looking after Abbie’s best interest—that he (and likely only he in his mind) truly loves Abbie. Basically, Danny is Abbie’s Katrina. All of his actions have come from a place of selfishness—including kissing her!
Crane, on the other hand, never pushed Abbie or insisted Abbie be anything to him after her return from the catacombs. He respected her wishes every time she said she needed to do something even when he was disappointed—like after he slaved over that lovely meal she rejected. He never put his disappointment on her like it was something she needed to fix. He doesn’t blame or guilt-trip. He is there when she needs him but also respects her emotional boundaries. He helps her the second she lets him know what she needs from him. He is the model of a person so secure in himself that he would never feel threatened by Abbie. He revels in how capable she is. He has shown himself to be the very example of the “Love passage” from 1 Corinthians, which I post here because I think it is one of the greatest definitions of love, not out of an interest in pushing religion onto anyone in anyway:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Crane won’t confess his feelings toward Abbie until she has worked through her feelings for Danny not because he’s cowardly. Far from it! He would never want his emotions to either cause Abbie strife, internal conflict, or to feel pressure from him. He would never want to inadvertently coerce her into anything. This is made abundantly clear when he seriously would go along with her desire to not return to the catacombs even if it means the world is destroyed! Crane would rather die at Abbie’s side than cause her additional pain.
Along the lines of Crane’s beautiful speech on art, art doesn’t only entertain; it inspires us and helps us to understand what is the best humanity has to offer. If this is what the creators at Sleepy Hollow are getting at with the revelations in seasons 3 and the Abbie and Danny dynamic, then seriously, this will go down as one of the greatest works of art in my mind.
That look you get when your would be girlfriend invites another man to join Monster Club.
Reblog if you are Team Ichabbie
To the Fandoms Helping Out:
We want to keep this event Abbie Mills specific. We are joining together to combat systemic discrimination in the media. However due to Abbie Mills’ unique place in television we want to make sure to keep this event focused on Abbie herself.
Please remember when speaking of the discrimination that Abbie faces, speak directly to her blackness, while Abbie is woman of color she faced discrimination specific to that blackness. In 3 seasons of television:
Abbie Mills was not kissed and had no onscreen romance
Abbie sacrificed herself thrice for the world, her partner Ichabod never did
she was repeatedly sidelined and displaced while white women were pushed into her place (said women were then horribly written besides)
Sleepy Hollow itself was originally promoted as diverse show making their treatment of the black actors and characters on this show that much more egregious
the “don’t need no man trope” which is specific to black women was applied to her by the writers room: “Abbie loved Ichabod, but Ichabod was in love with Abbie.”
Abbie also faced colorism from her own fandom as some viewers repeatedly called for her to be replaced by her light-skinned, acceptably curly haired sister
originally Abbie was supposed to die mid-season, that’s right as far as the writer’s of Sleepy Hollow were concerned this co-lead, only black woman leading a genre show, arguably fan favorite’s death didn’t even warrant a season finale
her final words to her partner were that “her purpose was to carry him forward and she had nothing more to do”, in an interview with one of the writers they said: “she had served her purpose”
she existed solely for the benefit of a man
while she started strong Abbie was diminished in every way as her S1 love interests were written out apropos of nothing to make room for story line’s that centered the conflict around her white male partner (now I like Ichabod, but their storylines needed to be equally important)
all POC supporting cast were either killed off or slowly disappeared from the show: John Cho, Orlando Jones, Jill-Marie Jones, Amandla Stenberg,Nicholas Gonzalez.
Nicole Beharie herself was not invited to the season 2 DVD commentary, she recently had to ask the Sleepy Hollow fox twitter account to follow her, she was told that no one wanted to see her at conventions without Tom Mison
Essentially they hired an amazing Julliard trained actress and diminished her and the character she played in every conceivable way. The simple human wastage is disgusting, the constant slights are an outrage, and the blend of racism and sexism she endured us beyond the pale. And all of it is specific to her blackness so remember that when we work this trending event.
She is not simply a WOC, but a black woman. The strong woman who doesn’t need a man trope is specific to her blackness, being a pack mule whose feelings are not considered is specific to her blackness, being considered disposable is specific to her blackness and being only considered for her usefulness to her white co-workers is specific to her blackness.
orphan black has been renewed
for its final season
“I beat this, didn’t I?”
Abbie’s return to the catacombs with Crane | Ichabbie | Sleepy Hollow 3.17
How to Make a Buttercream Succulent Cake
This is the one that’s bad and the only one that will contribute directly to my dropping a show from my viewing rotation. Per THR, Nicole Beharie’s Abbie sacrificed herself in the third season finale largely because Beharie wanted out of the yet-to-be-renewed Fox drama. But if Beharie wanted out, it was largely because in the long gap between the first and second seasons, the writers lost track of how to handle the core of the show, which was the Abbie/Ichabod relationship. And I put the names in that order for a reason. To me, it was Abbie’s show. Ichabod was the wacky and lovable time-traveler. The various robots and Kyle Reese are not the stars of the Terminator franchise. Sarah Connor is. Abbie was Sarah Connor, she was the character grounded in the real world whose life was turned upside down by the discovery that these supernatural forces, forces Ichabod always knew all about, were real. Sleepy Hollow was Abbie’s story and the decision to give up her life and her soul to stop this season’s apocalyptic event shouldn’t have been required of her…
Why Did So Many Female Characters Die on TV Last Week?
I really like this point about Terminator being Sarah Connor’s story in the same way Sleepy Hollow is Abbie Mills’. It’s disheartening that the Sleepy Hollow writers themselves were among the people that didn’t understand this.
(via geejayeff)