Every Day I Spend Not Sleeping On, Kissing, Or Biting A Bicep, Is A Year Off My Life.

i just want someone to hold me and play with my hair and rub my back and talk to me, is that too much to ask for?

friend: what’s in your glass?

me: vinegar

friend: why…

me: it’s yummy

and that kids is why everyone thinks i’m crazy

new boots 🤭

need to be consumed 🙏

hope the girls that moan while giving head have a great day

God I love puppies who have oral fixations with a voice kink, they’re just too easy sometimes and it’s so cute. They’ll walk around all day being a brat, giving attitude when we’re around friends or biting and pawing at me for attention i’m obviously busy.

But the moment I drop my voice a few octaves and tap their chin while saying “open” they’re on their knees, eyes glazed over and panting with their tongue out waiting to have their mouth filled like the dumb mutt they were trained to be.

me after catching a glimpse of those biceps

Biceps are meant to be bitten on actually

if one more person says “what are you wearing” or “can i see” i’m going to commit a cr!me