I AM SCREAAAAAMIIIIING WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS

And here is them all together in order of height.

this would be me if i ever meet chadwick

@therealjacksepticeye

Jack! So many people are telling me that you need to hear this song I made! I keep telling them it’s not easy getting into contact with you ;n;

*Erik runs into the throne room during a meeting chasing Shuri*

Erik: U READY TO FUCKING DIE

Shuri: IM A BAD BITCH U CANT KILL ME

T'challa:

https://www.younow.com/AmazingPhil/128803706/105763/af3205re/b/October-23,-2016

Hi i has wondering if you knew any good drarry rentboy harry fics? Thanks

Sure, sorry for the late reply! (please read the warnings provided by the author)

DRARRY + CAREER: RENTBOY/PROSTITUTION

Kiss A Boy In London Town (And Other Intimate Misadventures of A Society Whore) (femmequixotic)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 36.4k, Summary: There’s only one cardinal sin for a whore.

Another Mask Behind You (lettered)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 116.5k, Summary: Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

Kisses Are For Lovers (kjmom1)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 21.8k, Summary: Draco is a high class prostitute famous for taking clients virginity and doing it with a tenderness and care so they feel loved. Harry comes to him for the same treatment

Paradigm (Cheryl Dyson)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 59k, Summary: Harry is an Auror and Draco is a Rentboy. This is not a typical rentboy story.

Unhook the Stars (jad)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 62.5k, Summary: “Love is like a Rubix Cube: there are countless wrong twists and turns, but once you get it right, it’s perfect no matter how you look at it.” Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven’t learned how to communicate like normal people – with words.

Touch Me Fall (lumosed_quill)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 23k, Summary: Malfoy was such a ponce. And he was a complete snob. And he was so fucking fit Harry wanted to jump him where he sat. It would be too easy to forget his objective tonight: to really, really, really get Malfoy out of his system.

Prelude to a Year Backpacking in Tibet (themaohour)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 20k, Summary: Draco Malfoy should have expected this from the start: taking the easy way out of a bad situation only leads to a worse situation. Especially when someone turns up dead.

The House Of Potters (Where All Your Dreams Come True) (faithwood)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 9k, Summary: Obsession with Harry Potter draws out the worst in some people, but it makes Draco Malfoy reveal his hidden qualities.

Let the Poets Pipe of Love (bookshop)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 12k, Summary: Harry is a virgin, Draco is a hooker, but when they get together they have nothing but fun sex fights—well, something like that.

The Road To Hell (st4a_pl1314ds)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 10.5k, Summary: Harry had the best of intentions, but two wrong acts don’t make a right one.

Number Seven (sara_holmes)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 265k, Summary: Harry already has two children, an ex-wife, annoying colleagues and an international crime ring to deal with. So when Draco Malfoy reappears after eight years AWOL in France, of course Harry is going to leave him well alone…Right?

…and with persons even worse (Leela)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 14.5k, Summary: Someone’s killing rentboys in Lower Knockturn, and the case is getting attention from the top. No one at the Ministry wants another Ripper, stalking Knockturn Alley or moving into Muggle London. Harry Potter agrees to go undercover, but can he keep his identity a secret when Draco Malfoy is the rentboy assigned to show him the ropes?

Put A Price On My Soul (lamerezouille)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 12k, Summary: Harry has become used to being a whore in the crapsack wizarding world that’s now governed by Voldemort. Everything changes when Malfoy becomes his new pimp.

Breaking The Line (Kedavranox)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 19.9k, Summary: Draco was a Dom for hire. Harry was his best client. But Harry disappeared and now Draco’s retired. Draco’s doing fine (he’s even attending parties!) but who should show up to the latest BDSM shindig, but Harry Potter himself? Can Draco play with his ex-client without breaking the line?

Inauspicious Beginnings (l_morgan)

Rating: PG-13, WC: 6k, Summary: Sometimes two wrongs can make a right.

Railway Lands (Maelipstick)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 65k, Summary: Draco finds his own way to cope with being a failed Death Eater at Voldemort’s headquarters. Voldemort finds a way to destroy the wizarding world even after his death. Harry is trying to hold the world together while his mind quietly comes apart.

Gone Down On The Angel On A Lonely Night (femmequixotic)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 17.6k, Summary: Eight years after the end of the war, Harry stumbles upon Draco in an unexpected place: Islington.

One Month Stand (olimakiella)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 60k, Summary: Harry Potter has been searching for Draco Malfoy since he left school. Now 24 and a fully trained healer, he’s found him again. Can he convince him to stay?

All Roads Lead To Rome (calrissian18)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 19.2k, Summary: We’re just a million little gods causing rainstorms - The Arcade Fire, “Wake Up.”

Anything For A Price (alaana_fair)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 6k

Only Another Beginning (leandralocke, narya86)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 36k, Summary: Five years after Voldemort’s deafeat Harry runs into his former school nemesis who has been banned from the wizarding world, together with some other Death Eaters. Harry had known that life among muggles proabably wouldn’t be easy for them, but discovering that Malfoy works as street hustler was certainly not what he expected.

Coins (inell)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 2.6k, Summary: Coins make a certain jingling sound whenever they are tossed onto the top of a wooden bureau.

Where You Least Expect (flora)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 8k, Challenge: The war is over and Draco goes into hiding in the Muggle world. Harry is assigned to find him.

The Good Fuck (anon)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 3k, Prompt: Harry is a star Seeker and his team has just won the Quidditch League. To keep it secret, the more rowdy celebration takes place in a Muggle sex club/brothel and while Harry doesn’t care for girls, he gets a special treat from his teammates – a beautiful blond to spend the night with. Of course, the beautiful blond is Draco, who disappeared from the Wizarding world just after the trials. They’re both too proud and headstrong to back away from the challenge, but the night is long and many discoveries can be made…

Animus (isolde13)

Rating: Nc-17, WC: 50.1k, Summary: Harry defeated Voldemort. But he did not leave the final battle unscathed. Into his life comes Draco, who’s been working as a prostitute in Muggle London…

Soldiers Eyes (EruditeFics)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 31.6k, Summary: Almost six years after Voldemort falls, Harry Potter goes missing. No one can find him, until chance would have Draco Malfoy thrust right in his path, picking up shattered pieces while trying to keep himself together.

Out Of The Darkness (Constance1)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 46.9k, Summary: Draco Malfoy is shocked to find Harry Potter working as a male escort in Knockturn Alley, but it seems selling himself isn’t Harry’s only secret.

A Professional (charlottesometimes)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 8.7k, Summary: Harry is surprised with a card delivered by a mystery man that reveals that not only is Draco Malfoy alive, he is rentable by the hour.

Until The Dark Is Light Again (literaryspell)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 2.2k, Summary: This is not Draco’s home. This is where Draco fucks for money.

No Questions Asked (Serpentigena)

Rating: NC-17, WC: 4.7k, Summary: Five years after Voldemort is defeated, Draco runs off and establishes a new life. Harry tracks him down to try and bring him back to the Wizarding World.