Severus Snape Is Literally The Most Important Character Of The Entire Marauders' Generation Because The

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

The whole "Kenny making sure Ben and Kai get together so he'll exist" is just so... So dumb. Like dude, Kenny, you're an alternate timeline. You're gonna be fine man, the future's constantly changing, but your timeline will stay intact!

Honeslty, I blame the writers for forcing BenKai. A ship isn't good when it's shoved down your throat and the second half of Omniverse was just shoving BenKai down our throats. I have nothing wrong with it, I just wish it wasn't so forced.

crawlin back to you

You know what I find interesting? Both James and Sev stopped doing bad things for Lily, but while Sev stopped despite never being able to actually have Lily (first because she still loved James and then because she was literally dead), James does it because he gets to have her. Another difference is that Sev shows that while at first his reason was Lily he starts to do more than the bare minimum of leaving the death eaters and becomes a spy risking his life every day. He also starts to identify with the values of the good side, like telling P. N.Black to not call Hermione a mudblood. On the other hand, we have James who can't even commit fully to not bullying because he still bullies Sev behind Lily's back, knowing she will leave him if she finds out. He only stops because they leave school and Sev is therefore out of reach. And despite Lily actually marrying him and having a child with him he still doesn't grow up for her and still acts like a self-centred idiot like when he sneaks out while they are in hiding (risking his and his wife's as well and most importantly his son's life which they are trying to protect). 

So to conclude, on the one hand we have a guy who doesn't change despite “getting the girl” and on the other hand we have a guy who changes despite never being able to “get the girl” or even save her life (I know Sev didn't completely change and still has a lot of flaws, but most of them are due to trauma, and he needed help to change which he never got. So maybe stop hating on him and start hating on the system he was stuck in and denyed him the help he needed).

😴💘😴

If this is not their dynamic then what it

season 4 spoilers 🤗

James Potter stans will really look at a privileged boy with a loving family and close group of friends, torment and torture another kid because he finds it funny, and write it off as "oh it's just teenagers being teenagers".

And at the same time, see a boy who was relentlessly abused for his whole childhood, was never safe or protected, was vulnerable enough to be taken in by a cult and carried his trauma-based anger into adulthood because he never had the space or support to heal, and they'll act like he's the devil incarnate.

Make it make sense. There's nothing "Oh just teenagers" about what James and co did to Severus. He chose cruelty for cruelties sake and there's no indication that that attitude ever changed. Severus on the other hand, with everything he'd been through, still tried. He recognised the mistakes he made, he carried that guilt and he fought for years, through anger and fear, to make it right.

“The marauders grew up but Snape never did”

Brother Sirius was making his unconscious body hit things and still called him by the same mean nickname he did as kids as an adult, Remus literally gaslit him and harry about the bullying they put Snape through and abandoned his pregnant fucking wife, Peter literally sold all his friends out for self interest, and James kept jinxing snape behind lily’s back and then died 3 years later . Is the growing up in the room with us?

I love how harry felt the need to point out that sirius was wayyyy hotter than regulus. very straight of him tbh. also good material for afterlife bickering.