Tim: I have never read a book in its entirety. I refuse. If I never read the ending then I can create my own ending however I see fit. It's the closest I'll come to godhood
Jason: that's the dumbest-
Dick: wait I think he's onto something. Imagine giving a every book you read a happy ending
Tim: happy? Interesting I've never considered that option
Damian: so you don't know how anything ends? That explains all your poor planning
Duke: What about textbooks?
Tim: if it was important they'd tell me in the earlier chapters
Jason: so what you're saying is-
Tim: I do not know how to change the batmobile tire that was in the very back of the manual
Jason: do tell how you decided that one ended
Tim: I called the people I trusted most in the world to come help me and like a true loving family they did
Dick: awww, of course we'll help-
Damian: absolutely not. Consider this a lesson in finishing what you started
Tim: I'm not above bribery. Pick an animal. Any animal. I'll have it in the manor by sunset tomorrow
Duke: I'm actually with Damian on this one- you should learn from this
Jason: also the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me
Tim, with a monotone voice: in my version they all died
Dick, Damian, Duke, Jason: ...
Damian: *tt* I expect a giraffe in the lobby by daylight
Jason: fine I'll help too but I'm stealing the hub caps
Duke: I'll come up with a believable cover story
Dick: some things never change❤️
Source: me
Thanks anon lmao
Jason as those AO3 authors who have the worst tragedies happening to them and yet still continues to pump out his new chapter every week
Some poor, unbeknownst Gothamite: “My favorite fanfic writer hasn’t posted or updated any of their fanfic in like four years. I don’t want to bug them but I’m always hoping for them to come back. I hope their okay :( ”
Jason, in between cutting off right hand mens heads and antagonize black mask, like Really Living It Up: “hey, sorry, guys! I know it’s been forever! I literally died and clawed my way back from zombiehood, but I’m back now! Hope you enjoy this new chapter!”
"Imperial Culture is... curious at times..."
another option:
turning it into a windows 95 logo is also acceptable.
Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.
Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?
Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.
Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!
Dick: He was being nice!
Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-
Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?
Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...
Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.
Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.
Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.
Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave
Bruce (to Tim): You what?
Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.
Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-
Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing
Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.
Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-
Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-
15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.
Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?
I don't get conservatives I'd love for a transgirl to shove her agenda down my throat
Started working nightshifts sorting mail awhile ago, and i accidentally got into warhammer because i ran out of normal audiobooks to listen to while sorting packages, so heres some memes about some old robot skeletons going through a divorce i made for my partner in no particular order