My Toxic Trait Is Becoming More Obsessed With Something Than The Person Who Recommended It To Me

Jace when he meets Janus:

Inside every broken teenager, there's an innocent child who witnessed the terrors of the world too early.

viktor arcane has to be one of the characters ever.

he's gay. he's terminally ill. he's suicidal. he's from league of legends. he's in a toxic relationship with an orb. he also might be the orb(???). he bullshitted his way into the academy by pretending he went there. he rizzed up a guy so he wouldn't kill himself. he then tried to impress said guy by breaking into his boss's lab. then when he got caught he tried to play it off by saying he thought this big intimidating door was his bedroom door and he was just trying to sneak a guy in there. he nearly died because hetero sex was happening like a mile away. kinda. he took illegal drugs. he's also the apprentice of the guy who's making the illegal drugs and never mentions it. he's inspired off of the tale of frankenstein's monster. he got shot by a missle and fucking died. when he came back to life he immediately broke up his messy gay situationship and became jesus fucking christ.

truly one of the characters of all time

Yesss

Theory time:

THE KIDNAPPER IS MOTHER HAWTHORN.

Hear me out, she loves kids, has been mention in the last installment, and has a personal connection to the First Heir line but despites the courts. That's why she don't want them involved.

And it is faerie related, so is obvious about Kit

I need to investigate more

Emma To Bruce

Dear Bruce,

We did it! The curse is broken! Rupert is free! Long live Rupert!

In retrospect, it’s insane how much of this we tried to do by ourselves. We should have known that when we finally succeeded we would do it with a whole team present—in this case Jem, Tessa, Kit, and Magnus. (Mina assisted by raising morale and drawing all over everything with her toy stele.)

Everyone’s still here, too, and we can relax a little in a newly uncursed house. (It really is quite homey, now that it’s been cleaned up and, you know, had its demonic aura dispelled.) Everyone except Magnus, who left this afternoon in a great rush to get back to New York.

New paragraph to talk about this, actually, because I have a lot of questions that don’t have answers and I can only ask you, Bruce. So Magnus was in a hurry to get back because of a meeting Alec is holding with Luke and some other Downworlders about plans for negotiating with the Cohort. Okay, but I feel like the Cohort doesn’t have much leverage, right? The situation is way worse for them than for us. We should be able to wait them out—shouldn’t we?

I mean they have a symbolic advantage, I guess. We’re all Shadowhunters and we all miss Idris and Alicante and Lake Lyn and probably a lot of us left stuff there we can’t get back and oh right, also a lot of people lived there who have had to evacuate all over the world and want to get back. I get that. But, like…what are the Cohort even eating in there? Idris doesn’t really grow food. Are they all homesteading in there? Raising crops? Churning butter? It’s kind of hard to imagine Zara doing any of that. But you never know. I mean, there aren’t even any demons to fight in there. Which is a good reminder that Shadowhunters are definitely not meant to hole up in Idris where there’s no demons for them to fight. I feel like Raziel was pretty clear on that point.

They must be losing their minds in there. I hope they found some board games or something.

Maybe Zara has declared herself Queen for Life and she doesn’t have to farm because she just marches around threatening to kill anybody who doesn’t grow her a potato right this instant.

Or maybe we haven’t heard anything because they all ate each other in there. Or maybe they mutinied against Zara and someone else gets to threaten to kill people now.

Okay, end of pondering the Cohort. I’m in a good mood, or was before I started this entry, anyway. We’ve been hanging out with Jem and Tessa and Kit and it’s really great. We ordered in Chinese (delivery couriers are always a bit terrified to come up the driveway, but we tip them like crazy so they’ve started to know us while we’ve been here). We lit candles—for ambience instead of for dark magic, what an idea!—and ate dumplings until we were too full to move, a thing I haven’t done since Magnus and Alec’s wedding. Apparently if I am offered dumplings, I will eat them until I become a dumpling myself. To that I say: I would never reject becoming that which I love most.

Anyway. Even Kit was less broody than usual tonight! He was hanging out with Round Tom and they seemed to be getting on okay. Oh, and I almost forgot! How could I forget! The workers found a coffin buried in the garden. But there was not a horrifying dead body inside, but rather a bunch of old stuff! Using a coffin as a time capsule seemed like a weird choice to me, but Tessa and Jem made some faces and some noises that suggested there was a long-ish story there we’ll have to ask about later.

Anyway, in the coffin was A SCABBARD FOR CORTANA. I mean, right? Can you believe it? Tessa said it used to belong to Cordelia Carstairs, who was Cortana’s wielder generations ago. The scabbard needs a lot of cleaning (a lot of cleaning) but then it can be reunited with Cortana. (After all, I think it’s probably more Cortana’s possession than anyone else’s; perhaps they’ll be happy to be reunited.)

There was also a sword for Julian—what used to be a Blackthorn family sword, but this one is only a hilt, its blade is totally missing, I have no idea why. He’s talking about getting it reforged. Big shock, Round Tom knows a guy. Triangular Jerry. No, I’m kidding on the name, but Round Tom actually does know a blacksmith and he and Julian have started talking about getting that done. (Actually, what Round Tom wants to do is have a forge installed at Chiswick, which is a cool idea, but do we want another building project on top of all the others? I mean, maybe, having a forge here at the house would be pretty cool.)

Oh, you might be wondering about Rupert’s ring, since it’s not like he could take it with him, and he hasn’t come back for it in a ghost way. Magnus checked it out and said no magic any more, just an ordinary ring Tatiana must have enchanted to bind Rupert. But none of us is going to wear it, of course. So we put it on the mantelpiece in the drawing room. Where it will remain.

The Gray-Carstairs-Herondaleses are heading back to Cirenworth tomorrow. It’s been really great having them here, but you know, it will be nice to have them go and have it be just Julian and I here in the house, not feeling creepy all the time. That seems like good times for us.

#

Bruce, good times are canceled. Everything’s gone wrong. I guess I was a little too smug about how everything was going; the universe had to come and screw it up for me.

Mina is gone.

And by gone I mean kidnapped.

And by kidnapped I mean, the kidnapper left a creepy old-timey porcelain doll (with wide, dead eyes, ugh) in her place, and a note.

I had just finished writing the above stuff when I heard a horrible scream from upstairs and loud footsteps, and came out to find everyone gathered in Mina’s room staring in horror.

I immediately thought oh no, another curse, or the same curse, the curse isn’t over, and maybe you did too, but that’s not what this is. This is something else entirely. Something involving faeries. Something involving Faerie.

Tess picked up the note, read it, and handed it to Jem with a bad look on her face. Julian was already opening the window to see if anyone could be spotted outside, and I read over Jem’s shoulder:

charles being like “you guys don’t understand how hard it is to be me: a man who likes men” to a room that is filled exclusively with men who like men had the same energy as in tlbotw when tian said “do you know how hard it is to love someone you can’t be with?” to alec and jace of all people

Kit 🤝 Thomas

"you shouldn't be here" 🤝 "what are you doing here"

Ty 🤝 Alastair

Just being at home

 crack theory  

The last couple of installments is Kit’s villain arc.

+ "if Pekka Rollins kills us all I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so I can annoy your ghost" "I'll hire Mattias's ghost to kick your ghost's ass" "my ghost won't associate with your ghost"

underrated Iconic™ six of crows/crooked kingdom moments

inej simultaneously choking tante heleen and stealing her priceless diamonds like a bamf

kaz’s ‘embarrassed teenage boy’ act in front of smeets (i was laughign so hard)

“pay someone to pay someone to pay someone to burn your kruge”

that time kaz and wylan chemically burned a hole in the ceiling and dropped into the middle of van eck’s dinner party

matthias grumbling “i. should. let. you. die.” while trying to restart kaz’s heart; nina giving kaz mouth-to-mouth resuscitation 

kaz staying conscious even though a prison guard shoved his bare fingers in his mouth (!!!)

Wyvil

inej breaking van eck’s nose SHE DID THAT

JESPER’S SHOT @ KUWEI!! MY HEART WAS IN MY THROAT WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS 

kaz complaining nonstop bc alys van eck Wont ShuT UP

nina f-bombing @ matthias

child kaz f-bombing @ the man who wont let him see mr. hertzoon

“you’re too broke to buy waffles” 

llewelyn

KAZ’S IDIOTIC SMILE WHEN HE SEES INEJ JESPER AND WYLAN THUNDERING FROM THE ICE COURT IN A TANK DRAGGING THE ‘STRYMAKT FJERDAN’ BANNER HONESTLY DOES IT GET ANY BETTER

nina’s pregnant woman charade 

“i will turn your teeth inside out” “that’s physically impossible”

WYLAN’S DRUNK FJERDAN NATIONAL ANTHEM

wylan “im not a thief” van eck: offended @ “you think like a lockpick”; one (1) book later wylan has a scheming face and a “very passable imitation of kaz’s glare”

“if you ever cared about me at all, don’t follow.” Kaz Why Are You Like This Kaz

damage

*wheezing*

round tom and triangular jerry on their way to help the shadowhunters with their bullshit: