In My Main Bnha Reality The 4th Of April Is My Birthday, So Happy Birthday To Me! :)

At first I wanted to shift to my waiting room before shifting to my drs, but I noticed how I'm starting to connect more with my dr self from my symbol of fear dr. The thought of going to my waiting room first doesn't feel as exciting as the thought of going to my bnha dr feels like. And I figured that it's mainly because of my dr self and the people I'm close to in my bnha dr.

My wr self is basically me but slightly different- and I don't really like myself in the cr, so…yeah- I don't know what I was thinking there. It's not that I don't like who I am in my wr, not at all, but it's a little bit underwhelming.

While in my bnha dr I'm different- but not that much if I really think about it.

So now I'm thinking about making a second waiting room in which I'm identical to my bnha dr self (so Shigaraki) and me and the rest of the LOV are just chilling somewhere. No wild shit happening, just wholesome stuff like…I don't know- playing stupid games all together and laughing like idiots- or playing sardines- I WANT TO PLAY SARDINES SO BAD AND IT'D BE SO INTERESTING AND CHAOTIC WITH QUIRKS-

Yeah- it sounds really, really nice actually!!

(and obviously gonna script Spinner as my s/o because I'm obsessed :D)

Am I the only one that doesn't really use affirmations on the regular?

One thing about me is that I don't want to do things unless I have fun with them. Luckily this doesn't apply to studying lmao (at least most of the time-), but it does to shifting.

Saying the same things over and over and over again is too repetitive and boring for me, so I just...don't really do it-

There are times in which I do use affirmations, but most of the time I try to focus on other things for the sake of not getting bored and dropping whatever I'm doing to shift.

If there's anything I've learned about shifting is that we shift constantly. I don't need to affirm to get up and go to the kitchen to get a snack, I just do it. So why would I need to do it to shift?

There's also the fact that when I keep repeating something in my head for a long time I kinda forget what I'm saying- or even how to say it unless I stop for a minute (you know that feeling when you say a word multiple times and suddenly it doesn't sound like a real word? Yeah, that). And most of the time my mind just ends up thinking about something completely unrelated and I completely abandon my method.

Instead of affirming that I'm in my dr I try to 'feel it'. Basically I think about being in my dr without using words- if that makes sense. I'm not sure how to explain it to be honest.

And obviously, since I've never seen anyone in the shifting community not mentioning affirmations, my smooth little brain HAD to start overthinking- but he better shut up, because I'm tired of his shit💀

And actually I just remembered that not everyone has 'a narrator' in their head when they think. And since literally anyone can shift then why wouldn't I be able to do it without affirming the way most people do? Also, there are people who have shifted on accident/without meaning to- AND ALSO, there are people who have shifted without knowing what shifting was- HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO NOT MAKE IT WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SHIFTED WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT SHIFTING WAS??? I don't think they went to bed while affirming of being in their dr SINCE THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHIFTING WAS- AND YET THEY DID IT!!

So yeah, I'm going to shift now, goodnight!!

I WANT TO THANK WHOEVER FIRST CAME UP WITH SCRIPTING AND SHIT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'D BE RIGHT NOW!!!

(I basically lore dump about my main bnha reality in this post- but only about something really specific that kinda touches other things, so yeah-)

Ok- so yesterday I was getting all excited for shifting to my main bnha reality and all, like one does before going to bed and doing their method. At some point I focused more on the future in the postwar, since I still have to script it properly, until something hit me:

We're all gonna die. Plus I'm not only one of the youngest in the LOV, but I also have All For One's quirk, which means I also have that quirk I can't remember the name of that stops aging as long as it's active. So I'm probably going to see them all die.

In the cr, whenever I think about it I feel like absolute shit, so I don't even want to imagine how I'd feel about it in my dr.

SO WHAT IF I SCRIPT THAT WE BECOME IMMORTAL?? And obviously I also script that we're going to be happy about our endless life + we never get tired of it + we always find something to do (and even repeating some things doesn't get boring) + we live peacefully (so people don't bother us- like- in the future they'll know we've existed for a really long time, but they won't constantly be harassing us for whatever reason, they leave us be) + etc.

(actually, if you think about it, me and the LOV being immortal is good for society- if they try anything to make society bad again we WILL kick their fucking asses.)

So while I was brushing my teeth before going to bed yesterday I started thinking about how I'd make this make sense in my dr and how it'd happen. This is what I came up with ("why did you decide to make this post?" because I'm losing my mind, it helps me organise my thoughts and if someone wants to "steal" this for a similar dr then be my guest-):

(main bnha reality lore dump, let's gooo-)

All For One, during the time he temporarily ruled Japan, was able to get his dirty hands on an immortality quirk. This quirk is a one use quirk the effect of which can't be reversed. So he could have became immortal forever.

He never ends up using it for a number of reasons, so I'll still have it after the war.

The first reason why he hasn't used it is because he wanted to keep it in case of emergency, maybe when he was close to death or something similar.

Then the day of his death came. I was 14 and he was fighting All Might somewhere and he got killed.

"Why didn't he use that quirk?"

One thing about the All For One in my dr (I'm pretty sure it's like this in canon as well, but whatever) is that he's a complete narcissist with a god complex. He consistently believes to be better than anyone. So during his fight against All Might he was 100% sure he was going to win. But then he didn't. So he still has the immortality quirk.

The second reason why he hasn't used it is because of his plans for me.

All For One plans years in advance. When he got a hold of five year old me he had different plans. Plan A consisted of using my body as a vessel for Yoichi's vestige, once he got One For All back. This also explains why he made sure I kept living a certain lifestyle and, as a result, ended up looking very similar to Yoichi.

But then he got killed by All Might.

This started plan B, which is the plan he'll stick to until the end. His body was damaged and using the immortality quirk would have been a waste, so now the new plan consists of using my body for HIS vestige. Then he'll use the immortality quirk.

But it'll not work out in his favour.

So the war starts and now he's literally in two places at once: his original body and his vestige in mine.

He'll give me the original All For One through the surgery and he's going to have a copy. But All For One and Daruma won't be able to duplicate the immortality quirk, so the original and only existing one is inside the original All For One quirk, which I have.

(The idea that they won't be able to duplicate it came form the fact that the strange teleportation quirk All For One has is a failed duplication of Kurogiri's quirk, so the failed duplication of the immortality quirk doesn't sound too far fetched.)

During the war his original body will die after he'll rewind himself back in time thanks to the drug made by Overhaul with Eri's DNA, leaving only his vestige inside me.

But he won't use the immortality quirk. Not only does my vestige's presence interfere with the proper use of All For One's quirk, but if he could use the immortality quirk while my vestige still exists it'd become immortal as well. And trust me, he does NOT want to share a body with me, he'd rather fucking die.

Also keep in mind that All For One, in my dr, could EASILY win the war, but he thinks so highly of himself that he's going to underestimate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and he'll miserably fail.

So All For One's vestige goes down, everyone else survives and this will mark the beginning of a new era.

If you read the intro to this dr then you know the drill: shit changes for the better, the world will be amazing and bla bla bla.

(I don't remember if I wrote this in the intro, but One For All doesn't cease to exist after the war. I'll give it back to Deku, since during the war he passes it to me to get rid of All For One's vestige- and I'll still have All For One's quirk.)

"So how do you and your friends become immortal?"

In the postwar, since I'm now the holder of the original All For One quirk, I'll dedicate quite some time to properly make All For One's quirk my own. But keep in mind that the immortality quirk still goes unused.

(Keep in mind that for my dr I scripted quite some things about how All For One's quirk works and other things like that- I also scripted about vestiges and other peculiar things.)

(Also, in case I'll talk about it in the future [aka I want to yap about it now]: in my dr, the places in which vestiges are found are generically called 'Vestige Realms'. Deku's Vestige Realm, the one within One For All, is called 'Vestige Room' because it's supposed to resemble the room in which Yoichi was trapped in by All For One. My Vestige Realm, the one that formed after the surgery, is called 'Vestige World' because in the middle of it there's my childhood house surrounded by a city and it seemingly goes on forever. All For One's Vestige Realm is either 'Vestige Realm' because it's the first/original one, or 'The Black Hole' because it's literally a black hole. The reason why I decided to give names to all of them is because me and Deku are going to talk about it A LOT- and eventually we're going to tell everyone the truth about everything [so everything about All For One, what's One For All, etc], so this makes it a bit easier.)

The way we ALL become immortal, which shouldn't really be possible, is kind of strange. But I didn't know what else to script and to be honest I don't really give a shit, so fuck it we ball.

It's your typical "oopsie! Kinda lost control of my quirk for a second there, sorry guys!" kind of situation.

The fact that I accidentally activate a quirk within All For One isn't that strange, especially if I haven't trained that quirk much. So me accidentally using the immortality quirk, which cannot be trained and can only be activated once, isn't that far fetched.

The unusual and nonsensical part is the fact that everyone gets the permanent effect.

The best thing I could script is this: remember that quirk All For One used on an unconscious Kurogiri to forcefully activate his quirk? Yeah, it involves that quirk.

All For One used a quirk called Rivet Stab to touch Kurogiri from a distance and then used the other quirk to activate Kurogiri's. And this is basically what will happen.

Rivet Stab, at least in my dr, becomes an extremely versatile quirk when mixed with others stored within All For One's quirk. This makes it a bit of a pain in the ass to properly train.

So after some thinking I figured that Rivet Stab getting out of control and the immortality quirk activating, mixed with the DNA changing nature of All For One's quirk (if I start yapping about how All For One's quirk works in my dr I'll never shut up), is the most likely scenario.

So here you have it! How me and the LOV will become immortal and live an amazing, peaceful life!

I'm gonna be honest. My original plan for shifting was to achieve immortality because I'm terrified of death, so sharing it with my found family in a peaceful environment sounds so fucking good!

But I'll also make a new script for a separate reality, kind of like a waiting room, where it's just our immortal selves. Because fuck death, that's why!

(also it's my brother's birthday and my mum is making a cake. It's literally my dr self's favourite cake. I'm fucking winning.)

FOR THE ASK GAME <3333

𐔌 . 🩳 ⋮ SWEET LIFE ֹ ₊ ꒱ what are the sweetest parts of your relationship with your s/o? all the not sugar-free, tooth-aching sweetness you two share. is your dynamic as simple as grumpiness vs sweetness or is it something more complex?

𐔌 . 🥂 ⋮ SUPER RICH KIDS ֹ ₊ ꒱ is there something in your desired realty that we would think is fantastical or unheard-of but is completely normal there? do you splurge thousands of dollars a day like you're in gossip girl? or fly around on a broomstick?

𐔌 . 🎹 ⋮ BAD RELIGION ֹ ₊ ꒱ what or who do you turn to when you need a safe space? do you turn on your favorite album and sit alone in your bedroom? do you have a friend you know will always be comforting ear? perhaps you take solo walks around your neighborhood?

IDENSHSBWBD THANK YOU!!! <3

I'm answering for my main bnha reality!! The questions come from this ask game!!

𐔌 . 🩳 ⋮ SWEET LIFE ֹ ₊ ꒱ what are the sweetest parts of your relationship with your s/o? all the not sugar-free, tooth-aching sweetness you two share. is your dynamic as simple as grumpiness vs sweetness or is it something more complex?

IDDBDHHSVSHS SPINNER!! THAT MAN IS THE DEFINITION OF PERFECTION!! "But perfection doesn't exist" HE ISN'T PERFECT, BUT HE'S PERFECT TO ME- if you get what I mean :)

Not gonna lie, I'm not 100% sure how to answer this, but fuck it we ball.

In our relationship, some of the most important things are mutual respect, equality, loyalty and love- oh, so much love. I'm obsessed with him in a healthy way and he's obsessed with me in a healthy way. Does that make sense? I don't know, but it does to me.

We love spending time together by doing whatever: chores, work- literally anything we can do in the same room we do in the same room.

And don't get me started on cuddles- It's literally the best part of my day- HE'S SO GENTLE WITH ME- AND THE WAY HE HOLDS ME?? I ASCEND TO HEAVEN EVERY TIME!! And speaking about holding, usually when I'm the one holding him he's basically a weighted blanket. I love that feeling when I'm relaxing, so having him on top of me is my favourite way to hold him- even though it doesn't really sound like holding- but he likes it, so we really don't care.

But one of the things we absolutely LOVE to do is just being nerds together. We share quite some interest and sometimes we spend entire days just talking about our favourite things. And when I say I love hearing this man yap about the things he likes, I mean I love hearing this man yap about the things he likes. Like yes!! Please tell me about the Sonic lore, I'll tell you about Earthbound afterwards!!

𐔌 . 🥂 ⋮ SUPER RICH KIDS ֹ ₊ ꒱ is there something in your desired realty that we would think is fantastical or unheard-of but is completely normal there? do you splurge thousands of dollars a day like you're in gossip girl? or fly around on a broomstick?

Well, this is a bnha reality, so the first thing that comes to mind is quirks. If we don't count those, because they're to be expected...it's difficult to think of something different actually.

If we take a look at the postwar, me and the lov will literally have infinite money (and despite this the economy won't be affected negatively), so I guess 'splurging thousands of dollars a day like you're in gossip girl' applies to my dr pretty well LMAO-

But other than that, still in the postwar, I'll have permission to go anywhere I want without needing to go through any kind of security. Not only will I need this to properly do my job (dealing with All For One's allies, which are scattered all around the world- although I'll keep others informed about my location), but also because...just because- so basically I'll be able to go anywhere, whenever and however I want. You know how we see All For One flying multiple times? Yeah, that'll basically be my main way of travelling. Does this make sense for this question? I don't know actually-

Oh yeah- and me and the lov (and maybe class 1a too, I'm still thinking about it) are literally going to be immortal...so yeah- it'll be strange at first, but then everyone is going to be super chill about it.

𐔌 . 🎹 ⋮ BAD RELIGION ֹ ₊ ꒱ what or who do you turn to when you need a safe space? do you turn on your favorite album and sit alone in your bedroom? do you have a friend you know will always be comforting ear? perhaps you take solo walks around your neighborhood?

It depends on what's bothering me and how upset I'm feeling at the moment. However, you also have to keep in mind that in this reality I'm Shigaraki, so I'm probably going to be feeling shitty most of the time over things that are completely out of my control (heroes, the system, etc.- and don't get me started on trauma), so the negative feelings are constant, I can only distract myself and hopefully make them feel less intense.

When it comes to who I can turn to, then I can always count on Kurogiri!! He's basically my big brother and I don't know where I'd be without him. We tell each other pretty much everything and he's always there for me. He knows he can count on me too, if he ever needs comfort and support, I just hope I do a decent job at least, I'm not that good with people.

And I just know that my dr self, in the present of my dr, would also turn to All For One if he was ever given the chance. It's upsetting to think about, not gonna lie.

When the league becomes a thing and we start bonding, I know I can count on all of them, really. But I'll probably stick with Kurogiri, especially because I've known him way longer than the others and he somehow always knows what to do to make me feel better. Also I don't want to bother the others too much. At least Kurogiri doesn't need an explanation on why certain things might upset me, he knows how I am. In the postwar I can count on Spinner for sure, he's going to be my boyfriend so...you know, it just makes sense.

When it comes to what I can turn to...well, there's a few things I do that usually make me feel a bit better.

So first of all: videogames. Keeping my mind occupied with something else and immersing myself in a different world (one reason why I prefer RPGs) usually does the trick. As much as I would like to call this a hobby, it's more of a form of escapism, in fact I tend to use videogame terminology in real life mostly to make myself feel in control of the situation- but yeah, also a hobby because I genuinely like videogames and I don't play them only when I feel upset.

Another thing I love to do is to go on long walks. Usually I go where there's lots of people. I guess you can say one of my hobbies is people watching. Walking helps me get some energy out (sometimes when I'm upset I find it difficult to stay still), I get to reflect on what upsets me so much and how I could deal with it and watching other people...I don't know, sometimes it makes me feel a little better. Maybe it's the illusion of being a normal member of society amongst other normal members of society that kinda makes me forget what's bothering me so much. Or maybe it's the pressure of trying not to get caught that makes me bottle everything up and 'act normal', which often results in me feeling and acting worse when I'm not in public anymore. Or it's an attempt to 'not waste time' and 'be productive', coming up with ideas and trying to find new ways to trick people into thinking I'm someone I'm not (basically observing normal citizens to understand how I could act if I'll ever find myself interacting with them- you know, to not get caught). But I don't know, I just do it anyway.

I also really enjoy music, but I tend to not listen to it when I'm particularly upset. Yeah, I get my emo, edgy and mysterious moments while listening to depressing music when I'm not feeling well, but not when I'm (close to) hyperventilating and trying my hardest to not make a mess out of my neck.

Speaking of my neck, worst case scenario I don't find a good way to deal with my emotions (which is a common occurrence), I close myself in my depression room and you see me get out of there with blood on my neck and under my fingernails. I'll just leave it at that.

What is your favorite thing from any of your DR’s?

Thank you for the question! I'll take any opportunity to yap about my drs LMAO-

I'll start by saying that I love all my drs and all of them have that one special thing that makes them unique.

But most of the drs I wrote in my pinned post don't have a script yet, I only have a general idea for them, so here I'll only talk about the ones I have a good amount of information about. So sorry if I don't cover all of them!

symbol of fear: main bnha reality → this is obviously the reality I'm more attached to. This is the reality in which I'll spend most of my time in and it could easily become my 'new cr', if you get what I mean. I love a lot of things about this one, so it's difficult to pinpoint THE favorite thing. But the first thing that comes to mind when I think 'favorite' is my found family. The League Of Villains has a really special place in my heart and I genuinely cannot wait to be with them. I also cannot wait for the postwar. I'm still scripting it properly, but it'll be absolutely amazing. Another thing that I guess I could add as a favorite is the fact that I'll be myself. I've been trying to connect more to my dr lately and it's gotten to the point that whenever I get to the 'my dr self' part of a new script it feels strange to not write 'Shigaraki Tomura'...so yeah- I'll take it as a sign that I'm close to shifting to my main dr LMAO-

cozy lov: waiting room → in my pinned post I didn't call this a waiting room because my plans for this reality changed only recently. This will be a waiting room-ish kind of reality. Basically take my dr self and the LOV from my main bnha reality and put them in a reality in which only they exist and can basically do whatever they want (+ immortality because I'm terrified of death). What I really like about this reality is that I can be with the LOV and be completely free to do whatever we want. It resembles my main a bit, but I don't really care-

???: a bnha reality → I haven't started scripting this one yet, but I can safely say that my favorite thing about it is the music- I love music and I can't wait to make something majestic! Also, you know the drill, the LOV is there too and all that!

home: main waiting room → what I love the most about my main waiting room is that it basically functions as my 'secret hideout' or something. I can just go there whenever and do whatever I want without being bothered by anyone. I'm also the only person in the world, so I don't have to worry about things like social standards or things like that LMAO-

I wanted to write about other drs, but lately I've been working on other drs I didn't share here because they're quite personal, so this is all I've got for now- I'm sorry 😭🙏🏻

Also I'm pretty tired and my brain isn't cooperating right now💀

The drs I wrote here are the ones I'm planning to talk about the most on my blog, so at least I covered the bare minimum-

Why do I have the urge to remake my intro post?- LIKE GIRL YOU ALREADY REMADE IT ONCE!!

IT'S BECAUSE IT'S TOO LONG- my original idea was to put as much information as possible in one post, BUT IT'S TOO LONG AND IT'S BOTHERING ME-

Anyway, if y'all need me I'll be in my draft working on it💀

Actually I'll either be in my drafts or I'll be working on my Notion script- you can never be too sure- I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO PROPERLY SCRIPT IT'S INSANE- MOST OF MY SCRIPT IS MADE OF LITTLE NOTES BASICALLY AND IT'S BOTHERING ME SO MUCH-

But yeah, I'll be in my drafts :)

I love making memes of my dr self absolutely demolishing All For One😘🥰😍

(I'm currently sick and have nothing better to do)

This is kind of a rant about what the hell I'm scripting in my main bnha reality (and also a little rant about how much I love the people in my dr- but it's not the 'hehe I love them so much' kind of post, it's more like 'I'd literally die for them', so be careful I guess-). Also a little update about the post in which I talked about me and the lov becoming immortal because fuck death.

Also you know the drill: making this post helped me better organise my thoughts and all that!

So in my main bnha reality I'm literally Shigaraki, so my script MUST have safety things for trauma and things like that...BUT...

I've been feeling like absolute shit lately and that's because I feel like an horrible fucking human being specifically for scripting these safety rules. Because what do you mean that I go through horrible shit and feel fine while my friends, who also go through horrible shit, will live with it for the rest of their lives? (+ I scripted that we become immortal, so even worse).

Who do I think I am? I'm not above them, so why would I script that I get to not experience trauma and they do?

"Just script that they also don't get traumatised" alright, what are we fighting for then? If our experiences don't affect us then why are we trying this hard to change society and create a better world? For fun? No. Absolutely not.

"You don't need to be incredibly scarred to want change" true, but would we fucking sacrifice ourselves for it? No, because there's a chance of us having a 'if it doesn't affect us that much then it isn't really our problem' kind of mentality- but even if we didn't (because I can just script that doesn't happen), as I already said, I doubt we'd be willing to die for it.

"Then don't shift there" I don't wanna fucking hear it, I have my reasons to shift there.

The thing that I want you to understand is the fact that I love the people in my dr and I would do anything- ANYTHING for them. And if that means going though hell and back and risk my life then I'm gonna fucking do it. If being equal to them means scripting out some safety rules then I'm gonna fucking do it.

I feel like this is the only way for me to feel at peace because OH MY GOD- THIS HAS BEEN EATING ME ALIVE FOR A LONG TIME- I didn't want to do it, but it's the only thing that feels...'right'- I feel like it's fair to my friends and also anyone that goes through horrible shit in my dr too. Because I'm not more important than anyone, we're all in this together god damnit.

At first I thought of scripting that yes, I feel completely fine but I still act like 'canon Shigaraki' would, but I feel like such a big liar- I don't want to lie to my friends, especially about something serious like this. It'd feel like I'm making fun of them or something.

Also, reminder that where I shift and what I script doesn't affect you in any way, so I don't want to hear anything like "are you stupid or something?" or anything similar. I know that I'm stupid and that it's going to be horrible, but for me it's worth it + I'm not coming back to the cr, so if I regret this decision I can always shift to a reality in which what I experienced doesn't effect me in the slightest, so I'll be alright. Hell, I could even script I don't remember it at all if I want to!

So what am I scripting now?

Keep in mind that I'm never going to come back here. Once I shift I'm going to spend 90% of my time in my main bnha reality and the rest 10% will be spent in other realities including waiting rooms. In all of my realities (drs and wrs) I scripted that not only I can't 'bring back trauma' but my mind is 'made of steel', so even if I go through horrible shit I won't develop anything like PTSD/C-PTSD or other similar conditions. So basically I can't get traumatised.

But there is one exception and that is my main bnha reality. Obviously I didn't just erase all of my safety rules regarding trauma, but almost.

So what am I doing?

I'm still scripting this, so I apologise if it's messy.

Basically when I first shift to my dr it'll be the 4th of April 2124. For a week I'll be completely fine. After that week, in a span of about two weeks my mind will gradually 'go back to what it's supposed to be like', so the trauma will be there.

"That's not how it works" 80% of the population in my main reality has superpowers, I don't want to hear it.

The reason why I scripted this is because it'll basically help me decide if I want to stick with it or if it'd be better to go to a waiting room and modify my script.

I scripted that I forget my script while I'm in my dr and I remember it whenever I'm in a different reality. But just to be sure, I scripted that I'll never forget that I shifted and I can shift whenever I want (and every attempt is successful + I remember my other realities, especially waiting rooms, but I'll forget the 'plot' of the ones that are kind of similar to this one, just to be sure); I always remember what I scripted for safety and for the lifa app; I'll never confuse memories; I remember that I'll never die, I know that everything is going to end well no matter how fucked up the situation is and I know that what I scripted about trauma and similar things is for a good reason, it's 100% worth it in the end and I'll never regret it (+ I know that it's temporary- continue reading to understand.)

I'd also like to add that if I went through the same things that my dr self went and will go through in the cr I wouldn't last a second. But my dr self is WAY stronger, both physically and mentally. My dr self deals with these kinds of things WAY better than my cr self. So there's also that.

"But what about you guys becoming immortal?" I scripted that the immortality quirk not only grants...well, immortality- but it also puts the target in a better condition to live forever. So basically we become immortal and we say bye bye to our trauma.

This doesn't mean that we forget what happened, but those memories won't affect us the same way they did before. Maybe they're a little uncomfortable to think about, maybe they make us feel sad, angry and sometimes scared, but they definitely don't have the same effect as before. They'll be easier to deal with, to not think about, etc.

Once I decided to script this I also contemplated what I scripted for physical pain- I'LL STILL HAVE A REALLY HIGH PAIN TOLERANCE, DON'T WORRY- but if you look at canon Shigaraki... that's basically it- got shot at least 4 times in a span of two milliseconds? grunted and didn't shead a tear. Redestro destroying his hand? Made a face, grunted, didn't shead a tear. The surgery to get All For One's quirk? Screamed at the top of his lungs, still didn't shead a tear. The war? Didn't shead a single tear.

With this I don't mean that he doesn't feel pain, he definitely does, but he deals with it REALLY well. His pain tolerance is incredible. It only makes sense for me to script that (+ after the surgery my pain tolerance will skyrocket thanks to whatever quirk is stored inside All For One.)

Obviously the same thing I scripted for trauma applies here: I know I didn't script it for nothing and it's worth it in the end.

In other words I'm a crazy bitch.

I didn't think I would have to say this but I am obviously against transphobia, terfs do not interact. I can't believe that there's a terf shifting community. If you are a terf, transphobic, homophobic or have any bigoted ideology for that matter do not interact with me.

Ever since I joined Shiftblr and started doing methods I've noticed a few things. These are things like feeling slightly detached from here and feeling closer to the people in my dr.

Something that particularly caught my attention was how whenever I do my method I feel extremely tired, both physically and mentally. It only seems to happen when I do my method. The day after I always find myself trying to understand where I am for a moment- I don't know, it's pretty weird, but also so interesting.

But I actually made this post to talk about something that happened yesterday.

I was listening to music while thinking about my dr, specifically my main bnha reality. Reminder that I'm Shigaraki in this dr- I feel like this is important to know or else the post doesn't really make that much sense.

I was switching between a silly game on my phone and Tumblr – I was really bored and didn't know what to do – while I was basically giggling and kicking my feet at the thought of waking up in my dr and give my big brother a big hug because OH MY GOD, KUROGIRI DESERVES ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD!!

Lately whenever I think about my dr I just want a big hug from the people in my dr. I mainly think about Kurogiri, who in the present of my dr I've known for about 11 years. I also think a lot about Spinner. I don't know him yet in my dr, but he'll be my s/o and I genuinely cannot wait!!

So I was just chilling in bed, listening to music and visualising while giggling and kicking my feet, thinking about how amazing it's going to be to finally be with the people I love the most, when suddenly something pops up in my mind.

I don't recall having similar thoughts pop up in my mind ever since I started to take my shifting journey more seriously, so it took me by surprise.

I literally went from childishly thinking about hugging my big brother to thinking something along the lines of "I wonder how a hug from Sensei would be like."

...

WHAT THE FUCK???

When I tell you I was shaken it's an understatement.

As soon as I realised what the fuck popped into my mind I literally felt a heavy weight on my chest- I literally had to calm myself down because I was starting to breathe a little strange.

What scared me wasn't how I was feeling, it was whatever the fuck that thought was.

In the cr I know damn well how much of a horrible being All For One is. I know the truth about what happened to me – which was all because of him – and I know everything he has done and everything he will do. In my dr, at least in the present, I don't. In the present of my dr I like him, I care about him. At first I'll view this man as my saviour, my mentor- but he never was and never will be any of that.

What the fuck do you mean you'd like a hug from All For One?

Genuinely, what. the. fuck?

I've been feeling like shit since yesterday because of it- I still feel that weight on my chest, although the intensity seems to come and go (and luckily sometimes it's not there at all- which is whenever I'm not thinking about my dr.)

This is so fucking trippy to me. Here I genuinely cannot wait for that man's death while, in the present of my dr, my dr self can't wait to...I don't know- simply see him in person, because ever since he got killed by All Might and revived by Daruma he hasn't really been able to physically be there and we haven't been able to go to him either.

The thought of wanting any kind of affection from him is absolutely disgusting for me in the cr, while in the present of my dr I would feel honoured to experience anything like that from him.

(I keep specifying 'present of my dr' because in the future I'll know the truth and I'll hate him to death. Just to be clear)

And do you want to know another fucked up thing that happened yesterday?

This time it was morning. I was on the bus, making my way to school while listening to music and, again, thinking about my dr.

I was half asleep and I was easily zoning out.

And then suddenly my random thoughts get interrupted by another thought about All For One.

The thing that worries me a little bit is that this time it was 'a scene'. But the not so pleasant thing about it is that considering what I scripted it shouldn't be possible in my dr.

Lately I've actually been considering adding an 'arc' to my script. And this scene enters perfectly in this 'arc'.

Here's a piece of information before I tell you what this scene was about:

Thinking of canon bnha, you know that place within Deku's mind- or Shigaraki's mind- in which the vestiges are stored and you can interact with them? I genuinely do not remember if it has a canon name and if there is I cannot seem to find it. Basically in my dr they're generally called 'Vestige Realms'. All For One's, a literal black hole, is called The Black Hole or Vestige Realm (generic because it's the first and original one). Deku's called 'Vestige Room' because it's supposed to resemble the room in which Yoichi was trapped by All For One. Mine is called 'Vestige World' because, aside from being relatively large and even having a whole city in it (in the middle of which there's my childhood house), it seemingly goes on forever. Basically mine seems the more realistic, the closest to a real life place. The reason why me and Deku will give these places names is because we'll be talking about them a lot together- and also because One For All and All For One (the quirk) will not disappear after the war, so we might as well get comfortable with them.

So what happens in this scene?

You know how All For One's vestige didn't go back in time like his real body did? Well, forget that, in this scene his face and hair were there- which actually make sense considering what I was considering to script.

Basically me and him were in the Vestige World, but the specific zone we were in wasn't part of the city. I remember my first thought about this was that it was a 'new area' that only generated after the war. Again, this makes sense for what I was thinking of scripting.

I remember a big garden-like place. The grass was a bright, healthy green and I could see a few white flowers scattered here and there, probably daisies- my dr self loves daisies actually, so that was nice. And yes, this still makes sense for what I wanted to script.

I was wearing what I'll last wear during the war, so basically just a ragged pair of black pants. On the other hand, All For One was wearing the white, red and black 'robe' he basically steals during the war. And yes, this still makes sense.

Do you want to know the 'best' part? The 'funny' part of all this is that I was on the ground facing upwards. All For One was kneeling on top of me while literally choking me with his right hand and keeping my right hand still with the other.

I remember he was extremely angry and was yelling something. I have no idea what he was saying, but I have a feeling it was something about how I belong to him, I have to do everything he says and that he's going to take control of my body once and for all. Which makes sense for what I was thinking of scripting.

The actual funny part is that, if I actually script the arc I wanted to, he'll fail miserably for the second time.

So you know what? Sure. I'm scripting the arc I had in mind in my dr, I want to see him fail for the second time in a row. I want to see him suffer a second time.

God, how I hate this bitch. He's been plaguing my thoughts lately and I don't like it.