I'm Autistic And I Currently Feel Like Shit Checklist

A Court of Fey and Flowers

I finished watching ACOFAF a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to just write about my experience watching it.

First of all, I had never really watched anything regency before. I have read Jane Austin before so there were themes I was able to recognize. However, I quickly fell in love with this campaign. It was the first campaign I've watched for D20 that Brennan wasn't the DM for. All of the different campaign mechanics were so cool and caused such fun little stirs in the stories. From the rumors and secret lives of all the characters were so fun to watch unfold. Binx very quickly became my favorite character and this idea of her court being of craft and lost things really tugged at some heartstrings of mine.

I was also practically crying over Rue and Hob. I was cheering for them from the moment between them in the hunt. I've seen all of the different fanart across the tag and they all just make my little heart sing.

Aabria's DMing was so fun and she really set up this beautiful world full of wonder and whimsy. Along with how she had the other players also bring in their voices into the story, it gave such a wonderful feeling of trust and further developed these stories.

It quickly became one of my favorite campaigns thus far. I can't wait to watch the others.

Protect Public Libraries

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year

I finally watched and finished the second season of Fantasy High. I had watched the first season on youtube before I gotten the dropout subscription. So, I was quite excited to start it up early last week. I finished it up just the other day and my heart.

From the very start, I could not have guessed that the story was going to the places and ways that it ended up going. This image of the Unnamed Goddess being reborn into deity-hood. It was so moving and it really tied everything beautifully.

The various NPCs added or expanded upon were such wonderful bits of the story to be all added in. Adya became a fast favorite of mine. She was an amazing addition and I love how fast she was able to bond with Adaine and Fig.

All of the characters had such amazing moments throughout this entire campaign. Everyone got such cool and moving moments that delved into and developed their own individual backstories. I literally can't choose a favorite moment from this entire season.

Side note: I love that all of the fanmade Fig and the Cig Figs songs were uploaded on Spotify. They were made so well and really capture the feelings of the campaign.

you know that expression, "dance like no one is watching you?"

try writing like no one is going to read it

it's easier to let yourself go and just enjoy the process of creation when you aren't also playing 6 dimensional chess with your insecurities and anxieties

write because you have fun writing and if you never post it anywhere that's totally fine because you enjoyed your time with the process

riz and adaine are the brain: obviously. but also because they have both at some point been ruled by their neuroses, they live in their heads, have been told their entire lives that the thing they are good for is their intelligence. it is what they can give to other people.

fabian and fig are the body: in completely different ways. fabian thought he knew his body when he was just fighting with it but it failed him. he had to learn to trust it again - to trust his instincts as well as what he’d been told his entire life. his instincts told him to dance, and he weaved that in with his fighting skills for both more complete control over his body and trust in it when he isn’t in control. this leads us into fig - instincts. she’s never completely felt fused to her own body the way most people do. it’s hers to with what she wants, including making it other people completely. those other people are still her though. she never sits with one thing, but moves fluidly wherever her instincts tell her to whether it makes sense or not. one of the coolest things a body can do is called the flexor / withdrawal reflex. when you touch a hot stove and pull back your hand before you’ve even registered the pain. the only time (that i know of) that your sensory receptors tell your muscles to move instead of relaying information to the brain and letting it decide. you literally have no choice whether or not you pull your hand back. your body decides for you. this is fig’s entire life. people often think the strongest, healthiest bodies are the biggest, sturdiest ones. yet often it’s the annoying bitches that do the most yoga, strength in flexibility. something fig (and now also) fabian have in spades.

kristen is the soul: seemingly inconsistent and ever changing, the only way kristen changes is cosmetically. she struggles so hard to find a god that makes sense for her because she’s not just finding her god. she’s finding a god for all the bad kids. because at the core of her, she is trying to do what is right, what is kind, what is best for everyone else. she wants to help people, save people. even if she doesn’t go about it the right way (ie immediately trying to convert everyone to helio on her first day) she is just trying to help. no matter what god she has, or who she’s faced with - that’s never changed. the soul is forever, and despite all aesthetics, so is kristen.

gorgug is the heart. because of course he is. “it’s gorgug keep going.” bum bum “it’s gorgug. keep. going.” he keeps them there, all together, all in sync when their differences threaten to overrule their similarities. he pulls them back in with the gravity axe he made for love of his parents and the culture that raised him. with the courage he had to stand up and declare he would in fact do the impossible. bum bum.

“it’s gorgug keep going.”

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A Crown of Candy

I literally just finished ACOC just a moment ago and I couldn't wait to write about it. Holy shit, I fucking loved this season. There were a couple of times where I was nearly crying along with some of the PCs.

First of all, this has been the first time I have witnessed a full character death and no way of returning in DnD that didn't have a real-world explanation. (Hero Squad was the first one I witness but the PC wasn't able to continue playing with them due to family things) Not even in my own campaign that I've been playing have we come close to even losing anyone yet. So, those moments of Amethar dropping multiple times, Lapin's death, and especially Jet's death was so emotional and I felt like I was right there with them.

The lore and the world-building of this world was so insane. I watched the behind-the-scenes episode as well and finding out just how much Brennan and everyone put into this season makes my little writer's heart sing. I have done that, I do that, and being able to see how others do that in their mediums is so inspiring. Even when Brennan was not pulling any fucking punches, it felt right for the world that was surrounding the characters cause in those moments, punches wouldn't be pulled.

This season was so crazy and I hung on to every moment of it. It's not one of my favorites but it's one of the most inspirational campaigns I have ever watched.

Now, I do believe it is time for me to watch the second season of The Unsleeping City. Wish me luck.

Neverafter: Once Upon a Time

Holy cow, wow this episode. Definitely my favorite episode thus far in this season.

The beginning was such a good set-up for what to expect from this outcome. I like that it ended up being not quite a time loop and not quite a new story all together but in a way combined the two.

Out of everything I have completely watched, I like that a couple of times now Brennan has pulled the characters in for these one on one moments. Like in the first season of The Unsleeping City and now in Neverafter. These have been some of my favorite storytelling sections. They build in these intimate moments that just delve further in compared to the intimate moments when everyone else is around.

Can I just say, I teared up when Emily started crying during her scene. I love how involved everyone gets with these characters. It pulls at my happy little heartstrings.

I like how everyone now has changed in a way. Both from their lived memories of this past story now to these moments of technically unlived stories that they have gained from taking the place of this different version of themselves. Even the artwork reflected that which I fucking loved seeing.

The preview looked so crazy and I can't wait for next week. This campaign just keeps getting better and we are so early in so I can only imagine what insanity we are about to witness.

sharing my new lockscreen with the world<3

As always, the Irish speak nothing but facts.

How many more innocent civilians have to be killed by Israel before you condemn that for it?

That is a genocide.

That this is a crime on all accounts.

And deserves to be punished to the full extent off the law.