Zhylik

“I know, I know, but hear me out. You read The Idiot, right? Right. Well, ‘Idiot’ was a very disturbing book to me. In fact it was so disturbing I have never really read very many fictions after, apart from Dragon Tattoo kind of thing. Because” - I was trying to interject - “well, maybe you can tell me about that later, what you thought, but let me tell you why I found it disturbing. Because all Myshkin ever did was good…unselfish…he treated all persons with understanding and compassion and what resulted from this goodness? Murder! Disaster! I used to worry about this a lot. Lie awake at night and worry! Because - why? How could this be? I read that book like three times, thinking I wasn’t understanding right. Myshkin was kind, loved by everyone, he was tender, always forgave, he never did a wrong thing - but he trusted all the wrong people, made all bad decisions, hurt everyone around him. Very dark message to this book. ‘Why be good’. But - this is what took hold on me last night, riding here in the car. What is - is more complicated than that? What if maybe opposite is true as well? Because, if bad can sometimes come from good actions - ? where does it ever say, anywhere, that only bad can come from bad actions? Maybe sometimes - the wrong way is the right way? You can take the wrong path and it still comes out where you want to be? Or, spin it another way, sometimes you can do everything wrong and it still turns out to be right?”

The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

3.03 | 4.06

andrew garfield saying, “i hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that i didn’t get to tell her” about his mothers passing is so gut wrenchingly beautiful because we rarely talk about the love we want to express but can’t, not because you’re not brave enough to say it out loud but because they’re not here to listen to it anymore. calling grief the love you never had the chance to share makes it less of a burden and more of something you want to keep and not something terrible you want to move on from. i love love how everything about grief always comes down to “what is grief if not love persevering?”

tears and saints, e.m. cioran

i want college!au with my beautiful girls SO BADLY but i can’t write okay now i’m sad af

the greek squad be like

not all of it is bad i think….…. we are going to be okay i think.

actual footage of me post-season two trying to figure out who ISNT related at this point:

asleep by the smiths // fireworks by mitski // last words of a shooting star by mitski // carry me out by mitski // guilt tripping by frnkiero andthe cellabration // funeral by phoebe bridgers // unfucktheworld by angel olsen // cigar by tamino // fourth of july by sufjan stevens

(suicide tw obviously) i just want to make it clear that quentin doesn’t have to actively try to physically harm himself to be engaging in suicidal behaviors and ideation???

quentin saying “break my bones, strangle me; i’m too tired to care”? that’s passively suicidal, y’all

quentin not giving one iota of a shit that alice says he’s going to die is suicidal

quentin not caring whether he lives or dies is suicidal 

quentin pushing the monster as far as he can, knowing what it does to people who push it, is suicidal 

the fact that he’s not actively seeking out buildings with easy rooftop access anymore doesn’t mean he wants to be alive right now, and he is very much not okay and somebody needs to do something about it