Telling Singlet Friends About Your DID Who Didn't Know About It When You Met Is So Weird To Explain.

me: hey why do y'all ask me if i have my period every time I come in here even though you know I'm a trans woman

nurse: not to worry, I'll fix this 👍

my medical chart:

wheelchairs and canes and glasses and hearing aids and every single other mobility aid should be free btw and if you disagree i hate you

sometimes DID is screaming crying hellish agony and sometimes it’s trying to figure out WHO THE FUCK DOWNLOADED 117 PICTURES OF SHARKS ON OUR PHONE

Listen to me babe. Failure is normal and part of the process. If you never fail, you're not making true progress. You're just regurgitating prior process.

I don't know why society is so obsessed with perfectionism and never making a mistake ever, but that's not how it works. You're going to forget to upload an assignment. You're going to miserably fail a test. You're going to get a speeding ticket. You're going to make your little sister sad. You're going to kill some plants. You're going to get that quiz back you were so confident about and realize that you got 1 question right. Those moments are when true learning take place instead of memorization and regurgitation.

This is why in math they make you show all your work and on science and reading they made you explain all your answers and choices with a paragraph. It highlights your thought process so you can analyze where you were right and where you were wrong. And it's ok to be wrong! No one is ever right all the time.

Don't let anyone shame you for being bad at something. Remember that they had to learn to walk and chew and talk and write and read and they didn't succeed the first few times in any of that. We should be building people up and acknowledging their faults as a way to learn and grow, not as a source of shame and despair.

sometimes i start to slide back into the mindset of "what if I'm not really disabled and I'm just faking it" or "what if everything could be cured by just doing x, y, z" etc.

and then i remember that during lockdown in 2020 i spent 6 months — like every single minute of that six months — focused on taking care of my health and doing everything right

i slept 8+ hours, i drank lots of water, i got a decent amount of (non-straining) exercise, i went for walks and got fresh air, i ate balanced meals, etc. etc.

and my health got worse.

i did everything right, continuously, for months, and was still disabled. there is literally nothing i could have done to "fix it". i'm not faking it, i was alone (mostly) and trying to convince myself that everything was fine, and i was still in debilitating pain.

everything has been so much better with disability aids. having my cane has been life-changing. using sensory aids, life-changing! a non-disabled person wouldn't benefit this much from disability aids!!!

i think this is coming up again for me because I've become a relatively well-known person on campus for disability (and queer!) issues, and despite having all of my lived experience and the drive to deal with things, i still feel underqualified.

there are other people who are "more disabled", or have "been disabled" longer than me (since things were really only dealt with during lockdown after my experiment, it's only been like 3-4 years with a diagnosis). sometimes i feel like i'm taking away an opportunity from someone that would be more qualified to do things.

logically though, i'm not. most of these things i have either started myself, or other people have convinced me to get involved with because i seem "qualified" to talk about it. I've had four meetings this week about campus accessibility, people actively seek me out to ask questions, i do regularly deal with ableism and inaccessibility even if it's to a lesser extent than some other people — but the stuff i'm doing is to help everyone, not for personal gain. i'm not pretending to be disabled for selfish reasons. there are clear access barriers that directly affect me as well and i am doing everything in my power to take them down.

anyways you can't really fake being disabled, especially not to yourself. ;)

That DID vibe when you're filled with rage and anxiety and you feel like you're about to fucking snap and then suddenly your thoughts aren't coming through clearly and you feel like you can't move (even tho you CAN) and then.... Calm. Serenity. Indifference. Neutral. You no longer know what you were about to say, or why you felt so angry and anxious. Then you're like "Oh. I switched."

look! someone got hit in the boingloings

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma.

The Tri-Phasic model of trauma consists of three healing phases:

1. Safety & Stability

2. Remembering & Grieving

3. Reconnecting & Integration

“She would sit here, with Crowley. She would sit, in compassionate honesty, with him. She would sit with him, for as long as he needed, as long as it took for him to feel safe enough to emerge from his cocoon.”

Inspired by the same name fanfic by Nnm on ao3, you can read it here:

Words cannot describe how much impact this beautiful fan-fiction has on me. It gave me the courage to pick up my own tree, one day it’ll become a forest too, just like Aubrey’s. Thank you.

Altogether, I really like the way americans say "can I help you?" as a polite general one-size-fits-all stand-in for "who the fuck are you/what the fuck are you doing here/how the fuck did you get in here/what the fuck are you staring at/what is your fucking problem." Such a polite way of going "bitch what the fuck."

"fakeclaim" — a personal comic about being in an OSDD/DID system.