Hey Check This Out. *puts Him In The Fucking Microwave*

dude, I wish there was a cane user emoji, I'm not blind so I don't want to use that one but I'm also not a wheelchair user, for the most part I can get around fine with my cane. There was a period of time where it was hurting me, but I hadn't properly adjusted it back after my fiance used it when she'd hurt herself (she's taller than I am so I'd adjusted it out as much as I could)

I feel like a frail old man at 19

Schrödinger's Disability

"Stop using your autism/adhd as an excuse!" I cannot tell you how often I got to hear that. Because here is the thing: Most people do not perceive either of those two diagnosises as "real". Even if they know they are real. Even medical professionals do not quite... understand it. Even those working with neurodivergent people.

Of course, if someone is the kinda autistic person who has also some sort of mental impairment, people perceive it as a disability - but if it does not come along with that kinda stuff, a lot of people treat it, as if we make an active choice to do or not to do something.

I told this story yesterday: When I was a kid, the following thing would always happen. When we would have art class, some of my pencils would drop from the table. Most likely because of dyspraxia. Now, when that happened I was simply not able to stop what I was doing. Because my brain cannot handle "stopping one thing to do another thing even for just a moment" very well. And it could handle it even worse when I was a kid. But also, I do not have object permanence. So, if an object does not exist within my field of vision, I just... forget about it. So, I often would just forget to pick the pencil back up. And teachers would be: "Oh, this boy is too lazy to pick up his own things." Which was not at all what was happening.

Another thing that happened to me too often is a very typical autism thing: Someone tells me something. But they do not tell me this in plain words, but rather imply it. So... I very much just not understood it. So, for example, I got told on a Discord Server by one user: "I have muted this channel." Which I understood as: "They muted this channel (maybe because it is very active)". What they said was, though: "I do not wanna see this channel, stop tagging me in this."

And mind you, this happens at work and university, too. A good example is the good old question of: "When are you done with this?" Which I usually understand as: "When are you done with this?" But what they mean to say is: "Hurry up, I need this now."

Last semester I had this happen at university even. Basically I misunderstood the final assignment, because it was not spelled out. Thankfully the professor was less of an asshole about it, than most people. I explained it to him, he understood, still got a good grade. But that tends to be more the exception than the rule.

As I said, this is a thing that even medical professionals do not really get. Even therapists do again and again fail to just communicate with autistic people clearly. They do not think about us usually being unable to understand implied meanings. We only understand the literal meaning for a lot of stuff.

And again: This is especially harsh with people like me, who superficially seem to function well in society. Heck, I have been told by professionals that I could not have ADHD or autism, because I archived a master's degree at university. Because they cannot comprehend that both ADHD and autism are a spectrum. It is not something you "either have, or have not" but it is a wide spectrum of symptoms that are differently strong in different people.

In Germany this also shows harshly when it comes to disability benefits. Because autism on its own rarely ever qualifies for disability benefits at all. Mental disabilities that might be linked to autism do. But autism on its own? No. Same goes with ADHD. And this... is kinda silly, right? Because we have studies upon studies that people with autism and ADHD often cannot work fulltime - at least not permanently. And we also know that generally neurodivergent people are more likely to be fired for a plenthora of reasons. So, yeah, we should kinda be treated like disabled, right?

And the worst part? In the parts where you get legally discriminated because of disabilities? Yeah, we still get that. We cannot immigrate into all other contries. Like, I cannot immigrate into New Zealand, for example, even though I would like too, because New Zealand discriminates against people with autism when it comes to immigration.

So... yeah. No, this sucks.

Nobody would tell a blind person overlooking a visual sign: "Stop using your blindness as an excuse". But with autistic people? It is the norm.

the side eye people give you when you’re a young person with an invisible disability who uses mobility aids 🥲

like dude mind you’re own business I already have to deal with 24/7 pain I don’t want to put up with your ableism too.

me when my anything:

girls when their favorite character:

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

This has probably been done before, so my bad if im stealing a joke, sorry

-host

No one really tells you that when you're disabled, visibly or not, you'll have to get over feeling the need to apologize for everything.

You'll apologize for

Not being able to move quickly through small doors and walkways

Not being able to eat foods your friends like, make, or want you to try.

Having to ask for help.

Asking for space and to not be touched.

Needing accommodations

Being passionate about something

Being tired

Being tired when you weren't an hour ago

Being in pain

Being in pain when you weren't an hour ago

Going outside

Not going outside

Being on disability

Having brain fog

Needing medication

Not being "nice"

Using mobility aides

Asking people to simply do their jobs

Wanting to be treated like a human

And so much more

I know I shouldn't apologize for these things. It's not my fault. But, when you've been raised in a world where your very presence is an inconvenience and worth apology, it's hard to not break out of that cycle.

Don't even get me started on the underlying feeling that your partner, family, and friends are saints for "putting up with you."

I know it's a thing I have to work though myself. It's internalized ableism that I need to fix. But it sucks that it was instilled in me and now I have to deal with it.

People really need to learn how to acknowledge systems outside their own comfort zone.

There are systems with a lot of introjects (yes including fictives) that are 100% fucking real.

There are systems with complex and vivid innerworlds that are 100% real.

There are systems with hundreds and thousands of alters that are fucking real.

Fun fact systems on social media are, in fact, real people and not just an entity that exists on the internet. Tumblr is a social media that houses real people, including systems, and so is any other social media a person can use. Just because you think something is "cringe" doesn't mean the person is faking their disorder.

Stop fucking fakeclaiming people, it doesn't help anyone and you look like an asshole.

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything