And I Also Love That They Are So In Love They Cant Even Hide It No Matter How Much They Try - Blog Posts

the description that i wrote down is basically just this LMAO

but the au itself is about high school!kyman who started dating one day, which was absolutely unexpected, new and confusing for them, so they’ve decided to keep it a secret from everyone for a while, so as not to get negative reaction from their friends. they were trying to think of a proper way to tell other people the news (it was mostly kyle though, because cartman didn’t really care what others would say), and while they still haven’t come up with anything good, they just kept fighting and “hating” each other so others wouldn’t suspect anything unusual (which, honestly, wasn’t really difficult considering that kyle still hated cartman’s bigoted and terrible behaviour).

and they genuinely thought they were doing just great, but literally everyone understood something changed between them after, like, a week or two of their fake rivalry. because kyle is now waaay too slow and hesitant when he has to answer familiar “stfu cartman” when cartman starts pushing his buttons. and eric himself acts strangely protective and defensive when butters supports him in insulting kyle. he goes like:

cartman: Haha, you suck, Kahl!

butters: Hahaha yes, you tell him, Eric!!!

cartman, looking ansolutely insulted: Butters, shut the hell up, what the fuck, man, that was totally unnecessary, who even gave you the right to insult him with me.

butters: But that’s what i usually do…

cartman: Well no you don’t anymore.

butters, confused af: Uh, fine, Eric… So, you don’t hate Kyle anymore?

cartman: What? Pffft, sure I do, he’s a sneaky no good jew.

and then after, like, almost a month, when they are both absolutely sick of hiding and pretending, they finally want to come out to their friends.

kyle: So, basically, I, um… we are kind of together now.

kenny: (Oh. Yeah, we know.)

kyle: What? What do you mean you know?

stan: Well, it was kinda obvious, guys.

cartman: How the hell could me dating fucking Kahl be obvious?

stan: Dude, you were hanging out together any time you were given a chance.

kyle: No, we weren’t–

stan: “Sorry, Stan, the teacher said I have to do this project with Cartman, can’t do anything about it”. Seriously, dude? You would stare at his neck licking your lips, like, at least once a day. Fucking disgusting. Me and Kenny were betting on how long it would take you to finally come out.

kyle: What?! And you didn’t tell anything??

stan: Come on, Kyle, I swear to god, I saw you laughing and smiling when he called you gay while you were arguing. It was too funny to watch without interfering.

kenny: (Yeah, you were smiling almost every time he started insulting you.)

cartman: Ha! Told ya your acting skills suck!

kyle: You suck!

cartman, shrugging: Wow, dude, we just came out, don’t you go spreading all our love life details yet.

kenny, laughing loudly: (That was a good one, bro!)

kyle, blushing and fighting the urge to break cartman’s neck: Don’t give them wrong image of our rela… our thing, you fat asshole.

cartman, smirking: Yep, that’s exactly what you called me last night.

stan, trying to hide a smile: Gross, dudes.

kyle: It’s– I– UGH just– Just… fuck you, guys.

kenny: (All of us? You’d better save that for Cartman ;))

and they would NEVER shut up with this kind of jokes.

i understood i have a huge fucking hyperfixation on kyman when today while i was thinking about a kyman au in the shower i realised that i’m about to have a panic attack so i got out of the shower as quickly as possible to write down a short description of this au so i don’t forget it and then i just continued crying and shaking