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Echo: Fives. You’re my brother, and I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.
——
Dooku: But I forget, you two are, at best, functional morons.
Anakin: Hey, you’re functioning... morons... moron...
Obi-Wan: -_-
——
Rex, after getting his chip out: What’s happening?
Ahsoka: Oh nothing. Just the end of the world!
——
Fives: Plan C tanked.
Echo: Maybe you should try Plan D for Dumbass
Fives: D:<
——
Boil: ‘Kids are the best’? You don’t even like kids!
Waxer: I love kids!
Boil: Oh yeah? Name three children that you even know.
Waxer: ...
Boil:
Waxer: I’m thinking!
——
Hardcase: I can’t do this, man, I can’t live on rabbit food! I’m a warrior!
Dogma: Hardcase. You’ll be fine.
Hardcase: You don’t know that!
Ahsoka gets pointed to Tatooine about two years after the Empire rises. Bail is vague about it, but tells her she’ll find Someone She’s Looking For if she goes. Ahsoka brings Rex because reasons. Bail intended for her to find Obi-Wan, because he’s heard about training bonds and one time Obi-Wan mentioned Ahsoka had formed a minor one with him, but he doesn’t know enough about the Force to realize she’d be drawn directly to Luke instead.
So one day, Beru and Owen just open the door, toddler in hand, to see an exhausted, distraught former Jedi a good decade their junior on the step, with an clone soldier, eyes fixed on Luke and looking like she’s about to cry.
For a particularly high level of drama, this wasn’t planned, and Bail had only told her that she could Find Allies on Tatooine if she ended up in the absolute worst possible situation (she is pretty much the only person he felt deserved to know there were allies on Tatooine at all), and what actually happens is that Ahsoka passes out like two seconds after the door opens and Rex is left holding the bag of “how the fuck do I explain the thing.”
Rex gains a bit of favor by explaining about the chip in his head after Owen demands an explanation because last he heard, the clones had turned on the Jedi on the Emperor’s orders, and Beru and Owen have enough knowledge of slavery (and Beru’s family has been freeing people for so many generations) that the story of what happened during O66 on Mandalore immediately wins Rex some points, at least enough for someone to go get Ben.
This is the point at which I admit that this was partially driven by me thinking about one of those “Cody finds/is found by Obi-Wan on Tatooine, gets de-chipped, they end up Husbands” AUs and me really wanting post-O66 Ahsoka crying on Obi-Wan while he awkwardly explains to the Lars family that this girl is Basically His Daughter
Probably while Ahsoka’s passed out in his lap.
Also I want that dramatic moment of Owen telling Obi-Wan that someone showed up “looking for Jedi” but not really explaining much, just enough for Obi-Wan to panic and jump on a speeder with Cody in full armor and with a blaster because Owen doesn’t seem worried enough for it to be imperials but what if and then he shows up and instead it’s Ahsoka, exhausted and injured and unconscious, but it’s his grandpadawan.
He freezes when he sees her, almost doesn’t even parse that Rex is there until the man starts talking, and then he backpedals, grabs Cody from outside where he’s helping Owen secure the speeder, and shoves him into the building because Brothers.
(In Owen’s defense, he had a vague idea that there were millions of clones and had no reason to assume these two in particular would know each other.)
There’s a Keldabe kiss with some tears that everyone later denies happened, and Obi-Wan just goes over to sit with Ahsoka and push some healing energy into her body until she feels well enough to wake up. Luke toddles in and basically just gets passed around between Beru and Owen and Obi-Wan. He gives Owen and Beru an abridged explanation of how they all know each other and how Jedi families work, which leads to Beru declaring that if Ahsoka was Anakin’s adopted family, then she’s family to the rest of them, too, by Tatooine standards. And since Rex is a brother to Obi-Wan’s husband–
“Your WHAT?” Rex demands.
“Husband, vod'ika, keep up.”
Anyway, everyone’s family somehow but the important part is reuniting clones and having the disaster lineage crying on each other because I have seen those screenshots where Ahsoka canonically refers to Obi-Wan as her adoptive father when talking about him to strangers post-O66 and sure that’s arguably just her reframing to fit the conversation and her audience, but also. Like. That’s Her Dad.
Do you think Luke noticed that there was at least 20 identical men in the rebellion or do you think someone had to point it out to him
the command structure of the GAR suffers so badly from “we haven’t had a standing galactic army for 1000 years, we had to invent all of this yesterday” syndrome it is so fucking funny. the jedi high council had no idea what they were doing and were like, okay, the jedi are all generals now. what general do you answer to if two generals give you conflicting orders? the general. which of the generals is in charge? the general. which of the generals is the general over all the other generals? also the general. anakin is both the general of just the 501st and also the commander of gold squadron, apparently, how does he manage to be so annoying that he’s in a position of command in two separate branches of service? i cannot emphasize enough that the idea of rex explaining that their general is locked in a dogfight with separatist ships, so they have to hold off on such things as “orders” is just a thing that does not happen to people, ever. this makes absolutely no sense but given that the republic handed a military to the local superpowered wizard monk order that coordinates battles at most in small groups, i guess that’s kind of a fair way to take it. you win this round, rave baloney
Happy May 4th! Star Wars sketchdump be upon ye
Rex won't stand by that bs
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