Full Marks For The Narration - Blog Posts

J.C. Leyendecker, famous queer artist of dapper 1920s people, across a hundred years of separation: so sometimes we need to get a little athlete, I mean a real small one, posing like he’s going to kill and eat someone, leaving no shards of bone.

Me, humble disciple: absolutely absolutely

J.C. Leyendecker: he could kill a horse by sneering. That’s how cunty he is.

Me: doin my best, boss -

J.C. Leyendecker: you must then put him in the silky underwear -

Me: of course.

Leyendecker: do your absolute best to shine up the silky, shiny, thin underwear. Oil it.

Me: I’m not great at this -

Leyendecker: think silk. Think shiny. Think, “this is how you sell clothing to straight men.”

Me: is - is it?

Leyendecker: the whip must, of course, be slightly suggestive. No, more than that. More than that. It’s important that he be provocatively catchable, AND YET - he can defend himself!

Me: got it, boss. Um - you know I’m not actually - I don’t know how to paint -

Leyendecker: shhh, I am telling you. to sell suits we also need a suit guy. we model the suit guy on a Suit Guy, one of my 1920s Suit Guys, it’ll be great.

Me: I can probably draw -

Leyendecker: suit guy could kiss him on the head. 😘 . Like that. Say that.

Me: 🫡

J.C. Leyendecker, “man and jockey clothing advertisement,” 1923. This is how we sell men’s suits, apparently.