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I really can't express to you how much I love the phrase "played you like a d-mn fiddle"
I don't know why, it's just funny to me to turn to someone who's just been bamboozled, and instead of sympathizing you compare them to an instrument of fools. For example: "...I feel stupid-" "..." "please don't, I'm ridiculed enough-" "He played you like a d-mn fiddle" "I'm leaving you"