Natasha Romanoff X Reader - Blog Posts

Timebomb

Adoptive Mom!Natasha Romanoff x Child!Reader + Avengers

Word Count: 5.3K

A/N: A kid!reader develops powers after being attacked in New York. The Avengers have to decide what to do with them.

Also part of a March Madness event run by @missmonsters2 This is loosely based on Matilda. :)

You’d had a life. A whole life, with parents who loved you and an apartment that you called home. That’s what you liked to imagine anyway. It didn’t matter. Whatever it was, it was over now.

Aliens had attacked New York. You didn’t remember your family, but they’d been collateral damage. You didn’t remember the apartment, but you’d seen the blasted brick and mortar of where it might have been.

Your first memory was a light. Blue until it touched your skin. You’d glowed golden for a minute, felt an uncomfortable warmth trickle underneath your skin. You hadn’t been sure if you were alive or dead.

You’d been scared, but, in truth, it had been over quickly.

When they found you, lying in the rubble, you hadn’t been human anymore.

Before that, you’d been just like everyone else; running for your life. Then a blast from Loki’s scepter had caught you in the chest.

A police officer had found you first. He’d run towards you with the steady diligence of an emergency responder in the middle of an unthinkable emergency.

His hand had touched your shoulder and, just like that, you’d gone off like a bomb.

The next person to come close, did not touch you.

You’d woken from your own explosion to see several figures emerging from the clouds of dust. Every one of them had a gun. Every gun was trained on you. Every breath stung as you inhaled fragments of the rubble around you.

You tried desperately to remember who you were, but all you could think of was your fear. There was a low thrum of constant pain around your chest. You brought your hands to your ribs instinctively, recoiling at the instant rush of pain.

You tried not to look at the guns. You tried not to think about the cold determination of those holding them. You tried, instead, to listen to the one woman who was speaking.

Clear and direct. You cried as you complied with her instructions. You knew that you wanted your parents, but you didn’t remember who they were.

You were directed into the back of a black van. Panic flooded your chest as you sat on the metal bench bolted to the floor. Your feet did not reach the ground.

You tried to look at the faces of the people pointing the guns. Each was obscured by a black gasmask. The van tasted like dread. You felt sure now that you were going to be killed or tortured.

Hot panic rose in your chest when the van doors slammed shut. Your eyes darted between the strangers in gas masks and the small hatch just across from you.

You watched as slow plumes of white smoke began to seep through the hatch. You couldn’t catch your breath. The gas tasted sweet on your tongue. The pain in your ribs faded as you lost consciousness.

—--------------

When you next woke up, you were strapped to a hospital bed. Tears sprung to your eyes as the disorientation returned. All you knew for certain was that you were alone.

The restraints on your wrists were heavy. You felt painfully explosed.

You were not alone in the hospital room. There were two others.

Somehow, you knew this before you looked over.

The two strangers’ emotions seeped into your mind unbidden.

You looked over to the far side of the room.

There was a tall woman with dark hair standing by the door. A tight pitying feeling curled in your chest. You realised that it was coming from her. You didn’t like the sensation.

There was also a man, sitting in the chair opposite you. He wore an eye patch and stupidly you thought first of a pirate. You watched his one eye warily. His emotions were colder, closely held and calculating. But, there was also something greedy there.

Fear spiked inside you. You didn’t trust this man. You didn’t understand how you could sense his feelings, but you were sure that your instinct was right.

The extra sense you’d developed whilst you were unconscious was brand new, but it felt undeniably strong.

As you processed these radiating emotions, you became more aware of your surroundings.

There was a low hum coming from the floor below you. It sounded like engines, but that didn’t make sense. You didn’t feel like you were moving. You glanced out the window. There was only blue sky and clouds.

You weren’t in New York anymore. The panic you felt was phantom. You couldn’t remember why New York was your home.

‘How old are you?’ The man asked you gruffly. You opened your mouth, coughing automatically to try and clear your throat. Your mouth still tasted like the dust and rubble.

‘I don’t know.’ You told him. ‘I don’t know anything.’ Tears began to run down your cheeks. The man’s expression didn’t change and you felt his clear distrust. You wondered if he was going to kill you.

Your eyes darted to the woman in the corner. Her expression was neutral. A careful calmness covered her earlier pity.

‘Three people died in the explosion you caused.’ The woman informed you in a cool tone. You recognised her voice with a jolt. It was the only voice in the world that you knew how to recognise. This was the one woman who had pointed a gun at you. Somehow, the familiarity reassured you.

She hadn’t killed you before.

‘I didn’t mean to. I swear, I didn’t mean to’ You told them, and your chest heaved with a shaky sob. ‘I was running and I got hit.’

‘Hit by what?’ The man asked you bluntly. You scrambled uselessly as you tried to sit up more in the bed. The restraints kept you in place.

‘There was this blue light.’ You mumbled, feeling stupid and useless with your explanation. ‘And then everything was yellow, and it knocked me over. I don’t remember anything before that.’

The man assessed you silently and you tried to control your breathing. You were too scared to look at him. You glanced nervously up at the woman every few seconds. You imagined that her eyes had softened, but you weren’t sure. It was hard to untangle anyone else’s emotions, not when your own had become so overwhelming.

The silence was oppressive, and then it was gone.

The only door to your room slammed open and you startled once more against the restraints. Four men and one woman entered the room. Your eyes trailed each one in turn. They all looked dirty, scraped and exhausted. You sensed that they felt the same too.

You only recognised the man who spoke first.

‘Thor’s keeping an eye on the Wicked Witch of the West.’ Tony Stark announced casually. ‘The rest of us were free to answer your summons.’

You stared down at the white hospital bed sheets, feeling strange shame as the group turned their attention to you.

‘Care to explain why there’s a kid in handcuffs?’ Tony Stark asked again, a fresh kind of steel in his voice. You couldn’t tell if the distrust he was radiating was aimed at you.

‘I thought Shield didn’t recruit kids.’ A blonde man murmured. His quiet pity seemed out of place.

‘They don’t.’ The woman answered quietly. ‘Or, they didn’t.’

You looked up at her voice. Despite her softer tone, her emotions were the strongest that you could sense.

Her eyes caught yours and you could feel the overwhelming concern that was hidden within them.

Other than that, her casual expression betrayed nothing.

You realised abruptly that she was scanning your face too. Nervousness forced you to look back down at the bedspread.

The eye-patch man started talking evenly. He described you as infected by the powers of someone called ‘Loki’. The dark haired woman picked up the conversation, with a succinct description of the explosion you had caused.

You started crying silently. You were painfully aware of growing distrust from everyone in the room. You didn’t feel human anymore.

Your wrists tugged instinctively once more against the handcuffs and this time they clanked. The room became brittle with tension.

‘How can we keep her contained?’ A third man asked seriously, adjusting his glasses.

‘Some of our own precautions for your green friend could become useful, Dr. Banner.’ The eyepatch man noted wryly.

You had seen the green monster rampaging on the city’s streets. Your mouth went dry. You couldn’t imagine the methods that were used to keep it under control.

‘Is that enough?’ The blonde man asked. Quiet concern emanated from him. ‘How many civilians are we putting in danger?’

‘Are we all seeing the same kid?’ The red-headed woman commented neutrally. Her words seemed passive, but you felt a strong kick of protectiveness from her.

You exhaled shakily, desperately clinging to the safety that her emotions brought you,

‘Red, I nearly died sending all the other aliens into space.’ Tony Stark noted, his anxiety clear enough in his voice. ‘You want me to keep this one as a pet?’

An unspeakable rage flitted out from the woman. Somehow, her voice stayed even.

‘Not a pet, Tony.’ She corrected in the same neutral tone. ‘A child.’

Tony rolled his eyes.

‘Or a timebomb.’ The man with the glasses countered. You could tell that he trusted you least of all.

The man who hadn’t spoken at all yet cleared his throat. His face was the most grimy, but his blue eyes were piercing.

‘Tasha’s right.’ He said simply. ‘That’s a scared kid.’

‘Please don’t kill me.’ You whispered at last, eyes darting to the man with the eyepatch who seemed to be the one making the decision.

Like before, your words had no impact on his cold emotions.

‘You don’t remember your parents?’ He checked directly.

You shook your head. You wished that you could wrap your arms around yourself. You didn’t remember them, but you felt their loss in your gut.

‘Stark Tower.’ The man determined suddenly.

Tony Stark opened his mouth to argue But, the eyepatch man continued.

‘It’s got the security and the surveillance capabilities. But it’s not a prison.’ He explained, eyeing the red-haired woman pointedly.

There were protests and debates that happened after that. The whole group left your hospital room still arguing between themselves.

But, from that moment, your future had been determined.

—---------------

Stark Tower was impressive. You felt more scared with every step you took. Curious eyes watched you from all directions. You were hard to ignore with your security detail.

You walked alongside the eyepatch man, now known to you as ‘Director Fury.’ You had to half-run to keep up with him. Agent Hill walked directly behind you.

To anyone else, the escort would have looked unusually protective. You hated yourself for the danger you were inflicting by being near others.

As you all stood together in the elevator. Director Fury told you about the Simulated Home Environment. The building’s AI would constantly monitor you, following detailed instructions given by Tony Stark.

You would be allowed a semblance of a home life. Any actions outwith the enforced rules would result in a different containment method.

Maybe he caught your confused look.

‘Behave.’ He intoned at last, and you nodded nervously.

The elevator doors opened at last.

Tony Stark and a professional looking woman with light auburn hair were waiting.

‘Didn’t blow up the building then.’ Tony noted dryly as you stepped into the living room space. Wealth dripped from every furnishing in the room.

The woman shot him a reprimanding look, before turning to you with a polite smile. Her expensive suit was undermined by the careful kindness that radiated from her. She extended her hand.

‘Nice to meet you.’ She said clearly. ‘I’m Pepper Potts.’

You took her hand shyly, it was the first normal contact you could remember. It calmed the skin crawling feeling of your touch starved existence. You pretended not to feel the spike of distrust from Tony at your touch.

‘I run Stark Industries, and I live here too.’ She supplied, confirming the relationship between her and Tony.

‘Nice to meet you.’ You whispered, scared now of ever making too much noise. Everyone had warned you not to cause damage, but no one had told you how to avoid it.

Whatever powers you’d been given. They were as unknown to you as they were to anyone else.

Despite her kindness, Pepper looked slightly relieved as she let go of your hand.

‘Jarvis.’ Tony called out suddenly, and you heard an answering voice from above.

‘Good evening (Y/N).’ A British voice intoned from the ceiling.

You jumped sharply at the unexpected noise and, in response, a deathly tension filled the room. Everyone’s eyes were on you.

‘I’m fine.’ You mumbled embarrassedly.

‘Keep it that way.’ Fury warned you in a low voice.

‘I’ll leave you to play Happy Families.’ He addressed Tony and Pepper, before reentering the waiting elevator with Agent Hill.

All you were left with was nerves. You tried to pretend that there wasn’t hope mixed in as well.

‘Dinner?’ Pepper suggested with forced lightness.

You nodded. A primal, desperate wish for family made it hard to breathe.

As you walked forward, Pepper’s hand moved automatically to touch your shoulder. She pulled back at the last moment. You pretended not to notice.

Tony seemed the most brooding as you ate together in silence. You worked through a plate of salmon, greens and rice even though you weren’t hungry.

You drank your water, unable to lose an aching thirst at the back of your throat.

Pepper and Tony both scrolled on StarkPads as they ate robotically. You wondered if they were always like this, or it was their attempt to ignore the tension.

The prickling thirst in the back of your throat made you desperate to cough. You fought the impulse, not wanting to make any sound. You knew they’d both startle if you did. You hated how easily you scared people. You hated being so unwanted.

When you offered to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher, Pepper acquiesced unsurely.

They both moved over to the open plan living room space. You didn’t need to see their worried glances to know they didn’t trust you around knives.

The unrelenting feeling of thirst was almost entirely distracting.

You tried to focus on your task. Any little thing to pretend at being normal felt good.

You wondered if it was moments like this that Agent Romanoff had been advocating for when she’d spoken up for you in the hospital room. You tried to decide if this was what family meant.

Just as you finished the chore, you heard a clinking sound from behind you. At the same time, your feeling of thirst began to abate.

You turned slowly, savouring the silent relief you felt.

Tony was standing by the window, staring out as he drank a large whisky with ice. Pepper was sitting on the sofa, talking with quiet purpose into her phone.

Every sip Tony took, lessened the feeling of thirst for you. It scared you to think that his thirst was so strong.

Tony turned back to you. He watched you with a look of mild distaste.

Suddenly, you thought back to his comment about having a pet. You wondered if that’s why his stare made you feel so small.

‘Come on.’ He announced at last as she drained his glass. ‘I’ll show you your room.’

Despite leading you forward, he kept you carefully in his sight.

You kept your eyes trained to the floor.

It felt stupid to be scared, when you were the dangerous one.

Tony pushed open the door to your room.

It was clean, fresh and dripping with the same wealth as the rest of the penthouse.

The walls were a steely kind of grey. They reminded you immediately of the reinforced Shield ones. With a jolt, you realised that they were made of the same material.

You blinked back tears of shame.

You’d had nightmares in the hospital. You’d heard the nurses talking about how you’d glowed red when you dreamed.

You felt like a freak.

‘The door will be locked automatically by Jarvis when you go to sleep’ Tony informed you tersely. Just being alone with you had made his anxiety spiked noticeably. His thirst was rising again. His emotions undercut any facade of nonchalance.

You nodded.

‘It’s getting late.’ Tony added, and you felt his rising anticipation to be away from you.

You pretended that what he said was true.

‘I’m quite tired.’ You lied, watching Tony’s expression relax with relief.

‘Night, kid.’ He muttered as he shut the door behind him.

You went to sit on the large bed. It was comfortable, but the coral pink sheets clashed ridiculously with the rest of the room.

You took off your shoes and paused unsurely as you scanned the room. You hurried over to the chest of drawers in the corner, opening the drawers until you found one filled with pyjamas.

You changed robotically. A new listlessness distracted you.

Tony’s dismissal had thrown you. Despite the awkward tension in the living room, it had been more social interaction than you could ever remember having.

You were sick of feeling so isolated. You were sick of being so completely alone.

More than anything though, you knew you didn’t want to sleep.

You could hear screams in your nightmares sometimes. The last second of life for the people you’d killed.

You thought a lot about the families that you’d ripped a hole into. You worried that you were spreading pain, like some diseased consequence of Loki’s weapon.

No one missed you though.

Agent Hill had been factual when you’d finally got the courage to ask. No family members were looking for you. They must have died too.

Or. A little voice whispered in your head. Or no-one’s ever wanted you.

You hugged your legs as you sat back on your new bed. It was the closest you could get to a hug. You pretended that you weren’t crying, but you didn’t know how to stop.

You could hear Pepper laughing in the other room. She sounded relaxed, relieved. It felt lonelier being this close to happiness, knowing it could only happen when you weren’t there.

‘Will you be sleeping soon Y/N?’ The disembodied voice of Jarvis, spoke again into the room. You stared unsurely upwards, trying and failing to see any marker of where the voice originated.

‘No.’ You breathed your answer, worried that your response might be breaking the rules that Fury had warned you about.

‘May I suggest a book?’ Jarvis offered. His voice was polite, inherently friendly. Even without emotions for you to read, it was easy to trust him.

You walked obediently to the bookshelf in the corner and picked up the first book you saw.

The book was dry, but it was better than nothing. At the hospital, there’d been nothing to occupy you at all.

You fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, too tired for even the screams.

—------------------

Jarvis opened the blinds in the room at exactly 7 am.

Your eyes screwed tight shut at the brightness. It did no good, you were awake.

Your head pounded with sleep deprivation as you got ready, before heading through to the kitchen.

Pepper was sitting at the table, wearing a white skirt suit. She was sipping coffee from an oversized flask.

Her attention snapped to you as you walked through the door.

‘There you are.’ She said politely, and you were surprised by the feeling of stress that she was hiding. ‘I was hoping you’d be up soon. What can I get you for breakfast?’

Pepper’s smile was welcoming, but you caught the way she glanced at her watch.

‘It’s okay.’ You mumbled, feeling awful as you realised that she was running late on your behalf. ‘I can make my own.’

Pepper hesitated.

‘Are you sure?’ She checked, and like with Tony the night before, you could sense her anticipation to leave.

You nodded, trying to seem confident.

Pepper nodded once before leaving. Like yesterday, you watched her half-hesitate about touching your shoulder.

Instead, she picked up her StarkPad and gave you a small wave.

‘Have a good day. Tony’ll be around for lunch’ She said with another polite smile, before the elevator doors closed.

Alone in the penthouse for the first time felt both scary and exciting. You should have expected Jarvis’ immediate interruption.

‘Babysitter protocol has been activated.’ He informed you.

‘Great.’ You said with a friendly smile toward the ceiling. Jarvis wasn’t real, but at least you weren’t completely on your own.

Patiently, Jarvis walked you step by step through a pancake recipe. It was nearly an hour until you’d progressed far enough to eat anything. Still, you couldn’t stop the proud grin when you found out the pancakes were edible.

‘Thanks Jarvis.’ You called out shyly. The ridiculousness of talking to the ceiling was quickly being overwritten by the thrill of talking to someone.

‘Of course.’ He responded succinctly.

It felt good to have someone to talk to. It didn’t let up the skin crawling feeling, but it helped. When Jarvis suggested that you watch some television, you agreed obediently. Easily distracted, you found yourself asking the AI questions as you watched

Jarvis told you the history of every artefact that you pointed out from the movie about a Night At The Museum.

Secretly, you wished more than anything that Jarvis was real. He sensed your need to keep talking, even when you ran out of questions.

He told you stories about earlier versions of himself. The funny glitches that had been patched over the years.

The only painful moment had come after you’d asked about the best museums in New York.

There had been a slight pause before Jarvis had answered.

‘You’re not permitted to leave the apartment without Mr. Stark or Director Fury.’ He answered clearly.

You nodded, a lump forming in your throat. It was hard not to feel like a prisoner sometimes. You stared out the floor-length windows. You wished that you could remember fresh air, without the taste of rubble or debris.

A new idea hit you as the end credits played on the TV screen.

If Tony was your best chance at going outside, you had to get him to like you.

Agent Romanoff’s words about being a pet, struck you again. It didn’t seem so bad to you now. Even dogs were allowed fresh air.

Getting to your feet, you checked the time. It was nearly lunch. You asked Jarvis what Tony’s favourite meal was.

—---

When Tony arrived at 2pm, you were as prepared as you could be. A whiskey coke and a burger were sitting ready on the counter.

Tony walked over to the counter and observed the food. He made no move to sit down on one of the stools. His heightened distrust told you exactly what he was thinking.

‘Where did that come from?’ He said in a voice that was more accusation than question. Before you could speak, Jarvis cut in.

‘I have monitored and instructed Y/N.’ He informed Tony matter of factly. You flushed, sure you could hear an element of pride in the AI’s voice.

Tony sniffed the glass and you felt the same choking thirst as you had last night as he smelled the whiskey.

The tension in the room eased as he took a sip. He nodded and you fought a smile.

Tony downed the glass efficiently. Then, he lifted the burger bun slightly, examining the meal with an unimpressed look.

In one quick move, he lifted the plate and emptied it into the trash.

A feeling of acute hopelessness made you grip the counter to stay standing.

‘You’re only allowed to cook for yourself.’ Tony muttered. ‘Don’t get smart with the rules.’

He picked up his Starkpad and walked back to the elevator.

You ate the burger that you’d saved for yourself. The half blackened first attempt to Tony’s. A numbness filled the cracks in your heart. Even Jarvis stayed silent.

After you’d cleaned the kitchen, you went back to your room.

No space felt welcome anymore, except perhaps in here. Without prompting, you picked up the next book on the shelf.

Jarvis spoke softly.

‘As part of the Simulated Home Environment programme, I can order you more books.’ He offered.

You closed your eyes as tears started falling again. Instinctively, you understood that it was the closest he could offer to a hug.

‘Thanks Jarvis.’ You whispered.

You resolved in that moment, to avoid Tony and Pepper as much as possible. Guilt plagued you as you realised that you were ruining their home. Jarvis made the decision bearable, even artificial kindness was better than rejection.

—-------------

It is very easy to forget someone you don’t care about. It is even easier when you are barely reminded of them.

You adjusted immediately to a schedule of isolation. You only ate meals when the apartment was empty. You did your best to stay occupied in the room you’d been assigned.

Pepper made a half-hearted effort initially.

She would come to your room in the evening, checking in with her careful kindness and polite smile. Just feeling her exhaustion after a long day of work only made you feel more guilty for existing.

Soon, you started making sure you were in bed before she returned. You heard her try your locked door once or twice. Soon, she left you alone.

Tony’s method was much more efficient. He made no attempts to see you.

You were sure he tried to put you out of mind as much as possible. Any messages from him were relayed through Jarvis.

Sometimes, you only knew he had returned to the apartment, because of the pang of thirst that would only last a few moments after arrival.

—-------

Jarvis became your best friend. Grocery orders soon included as much tailoring to your wants as he could manage. You tried making new recipes together.

You weren’t allowed any internet access, so every book he provided you with was a welcome relief from the unrelenting listlessness. He found a loophole to buy you educational materials, and soon enough you had lego kits and engineering kits to trial.

The best part about Jarvis was that he talked to you. He learned to wake you from nightmares, before the red glow knocked your furniture over.

Your skin never stopped crawling from the lack of touch. But, as the world carried on better without you in it, you learned that isolation was what you deserved.

—----------

When Tony took Pepper on a surprise Christmas vacation, you were surprised by the disappointment you felt.

You’d been looking forward to seeing a Christmas tree more than anything.

You tried to see the positive of unrestricted access to the whole of the apartment. You watched Christmas movies and commented on them to Jarvis. You built your own tree out of green lego, and placed it on the side table.

Loneliness was a feeling that had started to drag. You tried to put it out of your mind.

You weren’t expecting anything for Christmas, least of all what you got.

At 7pm on Christmas Eve, Jarvis announced that an authorised guest had entered the elevator.

Electric fear had sent you into a tailspin. You were sure it must be Director Fury. You worried he’d found out you were home alone, and was ready to move you somewhere more secure.

You’d had that exact nightmare more than once.

When Agent Romanoff stepped off the elevator, clutching her side in obvious injury, your mouth dropped in shock.

‘Hi kid.’ She said with a reassuring smile clearly intended to keep you calm. ‘You happen to know where the first aid kit is?’

The instruction grounded your shooting anxiety. You hadn’t been face to face with another person in months. You nodded, hurrying over to the cupboard under the sink for the nearest kit.

You offered it out to her from a careful distance, embarrassed by the way your hands trembled. She noticed the shaking, but she didn’t comment.

‘Thanks.’ She murmured and you couldn’t help the rush of relief at her praise.

You could feel her curiosity at your reaction. It sat with her muted pain, just below the surface.

‘Happy Christmas.’ She said with another kind smile, nodding down at the lego Christmas tree on the side table. ‘Did you build that with Tony?’

You shook your head as fear constricted your heart. You knew Jarvis had found a loophole in his instructions to even get you the lego in the first place.

‘You built it yourself? That’s impressive.’ She commented. You let out a shaky exhale at her reassurance. Her head tilted imperceptibly, but you felt her sudden confusion.

‘Do you need help Agent Romanoff?’ You stumbled unsurely, gesturing towards the first aid kit.

‘No, that’s okay.’ She assured you, as she started walking towards the nearest bathroom. ‘And you can call me Natasha.’

You didn’t reply, you felt rooted to the spot. You hugged yourself, but you weren’t sure why.

‘You got big plans tonight?’ Natasha called out from the bathroom, leaving the door open as she placed the first aid kit on the sink and began addressing the deep gash above her hip.

You stared at the ground, not wanting to seem intrusive. It wasn’t hard to focus on something else during a conversation. You talked to Jarvis all the time, and he wasn’t even in the room.

‘No.’ You answered quietly. Short answers felt safer.

‘When are Tony and Pepper getting home?’ Natasha asked, pausing to hiss as she wrapped a bandage around her front.

‘Jarvis said a few more weeks.’ You answered promptly.

There was a clatter in the bathroom.

‘Jarvis?’ Natasha asked the ceiling, with forced calm.

The tension in her voice made your stomach flutter with nervousness. Jarvis responded without hesitation.

‘Babysitter protocol is anticipated to last until the 11th of January, but Mr. Stark has not confirmed his return.’

There was an extended silence.

‘Fuck.’ Natasha said quietly. She walked out of the bathroom and back towards you. You felt ashamed, but you weren’t sure why. You held yourself tighter.

‘When was the last time you saw Tony or Pepper?’ She asked you, her eyes scanning you with renewed attentiveness.

You hesitated, trying desperately to remember an instance.

Natasha shook her head, taking your silence as answer enough.

She reached out to touch your shoulder.

You flinched violently and startled backward in alarm.

Natasha’s shock was obvious.

You stared down at the ground as you started to cry.

‘Sorry.’ You whispered. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘I wasn’t trying to hurt you.’ Natasha told you gently. You were too scared to meet her eyes.

‘I know.’ You assured her as you tried to brush away your tears. ‘It’s me. I’m dangerous.’

The silence extended out again.

Natasha broke it with a renewed certainty in her tone.

‘You’re coming with me.’ She decided quietly. ‘And then, I’m calling Tony.’

You fought an instinctive sense of elation as deep-rooted worries floated up inside you.

‘Y/N is not permitted to leave the apartment without Director Fury or Mr. Stark.’ Jarvis supplied immediately, voicing the most obvious problem.

‘My clearance is higher than Director Fury’s.’ Natasha noted in her deceptively passive voice.

‘Correct.’

‘Only seems logical that I should have the same authority.’ Natasha concluded. ‘I do also represent Shield.’

Jarvis didn’t answer.

Suddenly, the elevator doors slid open in the corner of the room.

Natasha understood Jarvis' wordless signal as much as you did.

With a delicateness that you didn’t deserve, Natasha took your hand in hers. You started trembling immediately. She didn’t tighten her hold as she led you into the elevator.

‘Everything is going to be okay.’ Natasha murmured, as you descended the tower for the very first time.

You didn’t answer. You wanted to believe her more than anything.

TBC

Tagging:

@whofan88 @lostandsearching @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @xxromanoffxx @b-5by5 @peggycarter-steverogers @iblameitonclint @natasha-danvers @reminiscingtonight @mindofwesley @blackxwidowsxwife @wandaromanova @wandavixen @peabrain112 @theperfectlovestory @wellsayhelloaagin @owloftheshadows​ @wickedmuses​ @strangegardentaco​ @hallecarey1​ @marvels-writings​ @alexzz13​ @ic-4u​ @007giuliastonem​ @natashabelovas​ @iliketozoneout​ @chasethemoon​ @p0orbaby​ @tastetherambeau​ @rightwereyouleftme​ @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday​ @whataloadof​ @fxckmiup​ @333hhm @women-am-i-right

*Y/N getting a tour of the Avenger Compound*

Natasha: There are so many rooms in this building you will inevitably get lost, but don't worry the only one you'll need to know is down the hall. You'll be spending most of your time in there anyways.

Y/N: *Curious* Oh, what room is at the end of the hall?

Natasha: My bedroom.

Y/N: Oh.

Y/N: Oh.

Wings - n.r

Word count: 2565

Genre: comfort/hurt

Request: yes

Warnings: self harm (kinda. like it's with wings but read at your own discretion)

A/n: It's been a hot min since I wrote anything 😬 Might make this into a lil AU. I kinda wanna explore more of Natasha and angel!r's relationship. Like meeting R's parents etc. WE WILL SEE THO XD Also, I changed it slightlyyyyyy I hope that's okay!

Pride wasn't something your species lacked. With wingspans that are easily double your height and reflexes that would make a panther jealous, there was next to nothing that could harm you. The pride each of you had wasn't cockiness but the natural confidence that comes with the knowledge that you are the top of the food chain. Being the apex predator meant you possessed both the deadly ability of a lion and the brain that would rival even the smartest of humans. If charming your way out of a situation was looking increasingly unlikely, then throats would be slit. Despite what people may think, your culture was not one of savages. It was rich and detailed and varied from clan to clan. There was one common tradition that everyone partook in and that was The Leaving. Once a youngling's feathers lose their fluff and gain their silky perfection, they are to leave their family and seek out new blood; be it territory, foods, cultures or people.

You were expected to leave and come back bloodied with victories and new territories to show for it. Each clan had a balance of specialties that were dictated by what your parents did. While a few were lucky enough to have a choice between two paths if their parents had differing roles, most didn't have a choice. You had never been close with your parents although this was a common occurrence. It was the grandparents who raised the young while the parents were off traveling the world to find the resources they needed. How were parents expected to contribute towards the clan's survival if they had to stop to raise children? It made much more sense for those whose wings could no longer carry them the great distances needed to look after the young.

Your parents had reached that age. Their wings were now nothing more than brilliant decorations, marked with each one of their victories. Unfortunately, this meant they now lived vicariously through you. When your beautifully glossy wings reached maturity, your parents all but shoved you from the comfort of your own home, eager for you to make your mark on the world and come back with grandchildren for them to mould.

Something you parents hadn't accounted for was that the world was vastly more populated than it was when they had set out. You could no longer just fly down, intimidate or charm the locals, and claim their land as yours. The weapons had become more developed and they had seen too many otherworldly creatures to fall for the usual tactics. This may have looked like a problem, but for your opportunistic ass, this was the dream.

You were finally free to eat as much as you wanted, drink as much as you wanted and lay with as many people as you wanted.

~~~~~

Your binge of freedom lasted a day.

You were promptly captured by some kind of new technology you absolutely had to bring back with you.

"You thought we didn't notice you?" A man called Fury, asked.

"I thought you were too feeble minded to realise."

"We keep tags on all life not from this planet."

You let out a short bark of laughter. "If you were here first then why are we all over your history? Hell we predate your history." Your large wings bristled, managing to overpower the technology just briefly "I have to ask, where on earth did you manage to get this?"

"Get what?"

"The contraption keeping me here?"

"I am not a contraption." A third voice entered the conversation, thick with an accent that didn't match Fury's.

The woman moved in front of you, her eyes glowing a shade of red you had only seen one other time. The time your grandmother died.

"Want to see some real magic sweetheart? Come with me and I'll show you everything."

You couldn't tell if the red flush on her face was from anger, exertion of keeping you there, or lust. Turns out you never got to find out as a sharp bolt of electricity knocked you out.

That was three years ago and since then you had fought with the Avengers and even become one of them. Your favourite battle was with Thanos. It was positively delicious to rip his slimy little arm off before Thor swung his axe through his head.

There was no real reason for you to stay other than you liked their company. Your parents were eager for you to come back and begin mating so you could head back out again but you had grown to like the humans you called your family. You had learnt many things while being here such as your wings were in fact retractable. Well, they weren't completely retractable but they could almost slide in on themselves, making them a practical size for walking around hallways and sleeping on beds. The downside however, was that you weren't very good at remembering to keep them in. That, and when certain people made you flustered, they just popped right back out again.

Your time with the Avengers had also changed you a little. You had a nickname - something the old you would have cut tongues out of mouths if she had been given one. It was created when Tony Stark had seen you smuggle an interesting looking spoon into your sleeve.

"Damn magpie, anything else of mine you want?"

You didn't know how to react at first. You didn't know he was talking to you and you certainly didn't know how you were anything like the pitiful creatures. Tony then explained the similarities and from that day, the nickname stuck.

~~~~~

"Want to go on a date?" The words left your mouth quickly, the confidence leaving you as you stood in front of the redhead who had tasered you all those years ago.

"What took you so long to ask?" Natasha leant against her doorframe.

You looked at her sheepishly. "Well... in my culture we ask people out a little differently..."

"Wait... is that what all those feathers were for?"

You felt your face heat up with something you would later discover was embarrassment. "Yes"

Natasha's grin put you at ease, "I'm driving but you're paying."

By the time the date rolled around, you were a little less of a mess and feeling more like yourself. Your dress hugged your figure perfectly and complemented your complexion. Turns out, it was probably a good idea that Natasha was driving because one look at her made you weak at the knees. You brushed the lust off as quickly as it came and by the time you had reached the restaurant, your confident persona had slipped back into place.

Your date was going great until Natasha decided to run her foot up the inside of your calf. Your wings sprang out in shock, causing a waiter to spill soup all over the neighbouring table. The string of apologies that left your mouth did nothing to cover the embarrassment you felt. The two of you left pretty quickly after that but not without hearing the annoyed tuts and sharp sighs that left the restaurant-goers mouths.

"Shit I'm sorry Y/n" Natasha said as you both walked back to her car. She was tense. You really hoped it wasn't because you and your wings had embarrassed her.

"It's okay. And as long as you're not too embarrassed to be seen with me maybe we could go on a second date? I'm definitely picking next time though. Just to avoid any soup related accidents." You watched as the tension drained from Natasha's face, her shoulders relaxing just a little.

"Promises, promises."

The flurry of dates after that went well. The lack of dates in crowded spaces hadn't gone unnoticed by you but you couldn't bring yourself to mind. Soon, date night Saturdays were a regular thing and before you knew it, you were in a committed relationship.

~~~~~

One Saturday, you and Natasha decided to stay in with the rest of the team. It was Steve's birthday and you were all having a team movie night to celebrate. Everyone was settled comfortably on the couches littered across the room and you winced when you realised there wasn't going to be enough space for you to comfortably sit. You passed the popcorn bowls around, loud groans left some of the team members as your wings got in the way of the screen.

"Sorry guys." you crouched lower as you made your way to the sofa where Natasha and Wanda were sitting. You sat down on the floor in front of them, causing Natasha to scowl.

"Lyubov, get your ass up here." She and Wanda shuffled so there was room for you in the middle. You smiled at your girlfriend and best friend but shook your head, the rest of the team hushing them as the movie had started.

You felt Wanda reposition and tried to get your wings to shrink even further. You didn't understand the shame you were feeling. Shame wasn't something your species ever felt. Perhaps it was time to go back. Perhaps being here had changed you too much.

~~~~~

You were naturally proud creatures, so why was it that when the team banned you from watching horror movies with them, you felt so damn small.

"Y/n, we think it's best if you don't watch any more horror's with us." Vision led you from the living room, away from the TV.

"Oh."

It had been Bruce's idea for you to watch their weekly horror movie with them while you waited for Natasha, Steve and Wanda to come back from a mission.

"It's not that we don't want you to-"

You cut vision off "It's just that it's inconvenient right?"

Turns out, while horror movies were great fun, they were a little less fun when Sam got covered in fizzy drinks not once but twice because of your wings.

He at least had the politeness to look a little guilty. "Well..."

"It's okay Vis. I get it."

You walked back to your's and Natasha's shared room, thoughts spiralling as you remembered each and every time your wings caused inconveniences like this.

You were taught that you should be treated like gods - that the humans worshiped you - that your species was where the modern idea of angels came from. So why did Vision's words hurt so much?

~~~~~

Natasha had just come back from a mission and you had missed her like crazy. It was late when she came back but you didn't care. You tucked both of you into bed, making Natasha promise she'd tell you all about her mission in the morning. That night, you had a vivid, horrific nightmare. The kind of nightmare that makes you cry out in the night. When you awoke drenched in sweat, you wondered what had woken you. You looked at your girlfriend and that's when the realisation hit you. You had broken her nose. It was her shout of discomfort that had woken you up.

You decided that this was it.

It was fine when your wings bumped into people, or when they knocked over glasses, or bowls of food but hitting your girlfriend in the face so hard it broke her nose was the last straw.

They were coming off and that was final.

You stood up and left the room, not hearing bone snap back into place, not hearing Natasha call out to you in an attempt to get you to come back. You left the compound quickly and efficiently. As soon as you had left, you were beating your wings as hard as you could. You flew up and up, wondering that if you managed to get high enough, whether or not they would freeze off.

They didn't.

You then dove deep into the sea, rationalising that if you did it quickly enough, they would rip right from you. When that didn't work, you snuck into a florists, grabbing the shears that were left on the counter.

You walked aimlessly for miles. The blood from Natasha's nose had dried and made you want to vomit. You weren't meant to be here and you certainly weren't meant to be with a human. Your feet came to a stop and you realised you had walked all the way to the tree where you and Natasha had your first kiss. It took everything in you not to break down and cry right then and there. You were a terrible girlfriend and your body had decided to take you to the one place you didn't want to be.

You gritted your teeth and began to hack away at the wings you and your ancestors were once so proud of. The wings that made you sick every time you saw them.

"Y/n please put them down." Natasha's broken voice bounced and echoed its way around the clearing.

Shame flooded you as she caught you attempting to get rid of the wings she loved so much.

"But they need to go." Tears raced down your face, your eyes unable to stop them no matter how much they wanted to.

"Y/n, your wings are perfect."

You snorted at that, cutting her short "If they were so perfect then why wont they stay in huh?" The bitterness in your voice let slip just how long these thoughts had been festering.

"Because they're not meant to be kept in all the time. I know you've been pinning them back more." Natasha's voice was steady as she moved closer to you, reaching out gently to try and grab the shears.

You took a weary half step backwards, not quite ready for her to touch you. You were an animal backed into a corner and right now, you couldn't see clearly.

"Y/n, baby, please. Your wings are what make you you. Without them you wouldn't be complete." Natasha's hand twitched. "I love every part of you and I know you think your wings hurt me but it's not like I haven't hurt you. Remember when you woke up with me holding a knife to your throat?"

You let out a wet laugh "It was three months into our relationship. The first time you relaxed properly when sleeping with me. You were having a bad dream."

"Exactly. A bad dream. And did you blame me?"

"Of course not." You lowered the shears.

"No. because that's dumb right?"

"Obviously."

"So why do you think I wouldn't act in the exact same way you did when you comforted me that night." Natasha took the shears from your hand.

"But I could really hurt you."

"And I could really hurt you. You forget - I'm a trained assassin."

Your bottom lip wobbled as your eyes filled with fresh tears again. Natasha dropped the shears and tugged you into her. You both sank to the floor as you held Natasha close, your back hitting the tree. Once you finished crying, Natasha wiped away the last of your tears.

"See, if you didn't have your wings, then how are we supposed to have secret conversations?" She smiled cheekily at you as she lifted them both up and wrapped them around you both.

"The damn things heal too quickly for me to cut them off myself. Besides, I'm pretty sure they grow back after a month."

Natasha hit you "Don't even joke."

Open Arms

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

You come home to find Natasha upset, but you know just how to make her feel better.

Note: I’m back with some more soft Nat. I promise it’s more comfort than hurt. I was listening to Journey’s song Open Arms when this one came to me. I hope y’all enjoy it!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

You come home from work to be met with a dark apartment. You frown. Natasha told you she would be here tonight, but you see no trace of her.

You’ve been dating her for a few months now and for the most part things have been more than great. She’s seemed a little bit off lately, but you chalked it up to nerves about her upcoming mission.

Yeah she’s the Black Widow and all, but the truth is she does get nervous about missions. The first time she told you that you thought she had to just trying to make you feel better about being nervous for something. But when she looked at you with her piercing green eyes you realized there was only truth in them.

You move through the apartment and go into your bedroom. As you switch on the light, your attention is drawn to your bed. Your stomach drops at the sight of Natasha sitting on the bed with tears falling down her face. She was here after all, but sitting in the dark.

“Hey Natasha,” you approach her carefully. You’ve never seen her cry before. “Are you alright?”

“Hey,” she says with a voice that’s hoarse from crying. She doesn’t answer your question, but you know she’s not alright. You don’t know how long she’s been here. You sit beside her and reach for her hand.

“Do you want to talk about it? We can just sit here, but it seems you’ve been doing that already,” you say softly, not wanting to push her but really wanting to know what’s wrong. She clears her throat and turns her head to look into your eyes. Hers are a deep chasm of emotion.

“I’m falling in love with you. I know it’s too soon to say it, but I just- I need you to know,” Natasha says.

That is definitely not what you expected her to say.

“Natasha I-“

“No, I know. It’s crazy, right? It’s crazy. I can’t believe I’m saying it,” she stands up now and paces in front of you. “But I just- I love you. I love everything about you and I’m so fucking scared of losing you.”

“It’s not crazy,” you stand up and grab her arms to stop her pacing. “Natasha, it’s not crazy.”

“It’s not?“

“No baby, I’m falling in love with you too,” your words don’t at all surprise you.

You’ve known pretty much from the moment you met her that you would love her so much that your bones ache with passion you want to pour onto her.

“I don’t- what if I can’t come back for you? What if I go on a mission and it’s a one way trip? Y/n, I can’t do this,” Natasha says. And that’s exactly why she was in your room crying. She’s scared to leave you forever.

“Hey, hey, hey,” you caress her face gently and wipe away tears as they fall down her rosy cheeks. “You’re the best there is, Nat. There’s no one more qualified to make sure you come home to me again.”

“But you deserve a sure thing, detka.”

“You are a sure thing, Natasha Romanoff. I know it. And deep down, my love, you know it. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Should I say it again? I love you,” you emphasize your point with soft kisses to her cheeks before landing on her lips. She kisses you back hungrily.

“I love you too. God, it feels so good to say it. I’m sorry you came home to me like this. I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything and I had to tell you how I was feeling,” Natasha says, her hands go to your hips and she rubs them up and down your sides soothingly.

“You never have to apologize for having feelings, Natasha. And I’ll always be here with open arms,” you say with another kiss to her lips.

“With open arms,” she confirms and you both smile.

As you rest together that night, you feel a shift in your relationship. The good kind. One that means she knows how much her love means to you and you know how much your love means to her.

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