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Non Binary - Blog Posts
Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.
If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals
i. it's not quite a poem; but saturday was the first day my family saw me in a binder. this includes my extremely catholic deacon of a father. ii. the weird thing about binders is that they make me feel like more of a girl. a better, mirrored version of a girl. i joke with my friends - how the fuck am i gonna explain that to a republican. maybe it's like color theory, i guess (children's hospital notwithstanding). when i wear a dress, i am frequently, vividly - disco-ball spinning and glitter lights - a boy. a boy in a dress. i look in the mirror and i'm like - what the fuck is this?
iii. i had never actually planned to come out. for ten years i only told, like, 5 people; most of whom were my partners. i'm not, like, shy or embarrassed about it - it just wasn't something i felt like i needed to share, really. i kind of feel my gender like. a favorite sweater. you can't really control what your favorite sweater is going to be. it's just like, this is the sweater that's comfy and cozy and you get compliments on so you wear it a lot. half the time you don't even realize it is your favorite unless someone else is like - oh, you're wearing your favorite sweater today, i love that one on you. and that little starburst of gratitude you feel when people care enough to notice this tiny thing about you - like that, i guess. maybe.
iv. i was outed 2 years ago by someone i considered to be a friend. what's wild is that she and i are no longer talking because of something completely unrelated. when i asked her what the fuck she was thinking, she said: you'll see. it's better this way.
v. there are ways it's better. i'll give her that much. i was never, like, hiding it, and all pronouns are fine for me, so it's not like i changed a whole lot. but it was nice; the gentle way people supported me. my best friend asking if i'd feel better in a suit at her wedding, even though i know it would have thrown off the pictures. nick asking me if i want to come along on guy-night pub crawls. plus, like, being in a very beautiful community. it doesn't seem like a lot - but in my adulthood, i've really figured out that life is genuinely and truly about the small things. vi. my father was pretty mad about the gay thing, but lately he's been really really hoping my '"i'm 10% straight in case of emergency" joke is - you know, not a joke. i'm never going to tell him about my gender. sometimes my gender has his ghost in it. i put on the suit and the binder and i'm like that's a possum in a costume. my gender is crying in another room, she couldn't make it to this conversation. plus, she's currently a dude.
vii. at the same time. my mother didn't want to make me upset in case it was a sensitive topic so she asked my sister about it, who asked me. the other day my mom gently corrected my father; using they/them (for the first time!) just-casually, as if she had been practicing - "hang on, i want to hear what they were saying." this woman was raised by irish catholics who didn't allow elbows on the table; much less fruity little troublemakers. my mother went to the library and got herself a bunch of books to learn more about being genderfluid, even though i never asked her to. as the saying goes - those that want to, do.
viii. i don't think i'll ever, like, "look" nonbinary. i know, i know, i know. there's no way to look nonbinary, and we both know i've done the reading and gotten the fancy degree about this. but when i was like 25 someone was measuring me for a costume and said - holy shit you have the same measurements as marilyn monroe except like. dude you're shorter and your waist is smaller. girls are probably killing themselves to look like you. and here's the thing - i know it was meant as a compliment. i know that. but i really, really, really wish i hadn't heard that. because my body is - and probably always will be - extremely, horrifically. feminine.
ix. and at the same time. it's not a poem, but on saturday my family saw me in a binder for the first time, and they were smiling. my sister cocked her head to the side. "it's good, actually. it's not that you look different. it's just like. a better view." she bit off a part of her fry before pointing the rest at me. "i don't know how to describe this, but ... you look more like you."
YES!!!! So much this!!!
I want to add some of my thoughts because I can't just scroll passed this without adding my opinion to the pot (for better or worse, tho I do hope for the better but if for worse I would like to know inhow and how I can improve myself)
First off I agree 100% that there should be more representation of different nonbinary people and experiences!!!!! Yes it's nice to already be represented but I do plan on keep fighting for representation till everyone feels seen and represented! Having representation of other nonbinary people that aren't white, able bodied or skinny doesn't mean all the representation for us white, able bodied, skinny people disappears! We and people like us can and will still find a lot of representation and a variety of people to look up to and be inspired by. However some people do not have this option yet! People might not even realize they are part of our community because our representation is so limited to these categories (white, able-bodied, skinny, often also afab and androgynous presenting) that they might assume they can't be part of our community since they don't fit into these categories.
Let's have any and all kind of nonbinary be widely represented so that anyone who questions their gender can come to our community and find themselves and recognize themselves in someone.
Another thing I'd like to add that is only partially related is, that I want people to know that not judging or putting people into male and female categories is hard. We are trained from an early age by our society that these are two very big and important categories that we are told we should distinguish people with. This is harmful in all sort of ways but that ain't the point. I think we already know that.
Something you might not know or need another reassurance with is that it is okay if you sometimes slip up and put people in a male/female box. I'm nonbinary and try to daily challenge my own view on gender but even I might see someone in the streets and "assign" them a gender or try to figure out if they were born afab or amab. But by reminding myself that it doesn't matter and that it's not really important to me what a strangers gender is who I pass on the streets I slowly teach myself to unlearn this hurtful way I was taught by living in a western country.
What I'm trying to say is that it's okay to sometimes slip up, if you but in the effort of seeing how this taught in thing of gendering strangers is harmful, not only to nonbinary people but it can be especially harmful to our community.
So please the next time you judge a person take a step back and ask yourself if it is really relevant to your live in that moment to know what genitalia this person might have.
You shouldn’t be treating nb people like the secret sexy 3rd gender. Nb people don’t look like a mash of male and female, they’re not sexy androgynous twinks
My uterus is kinda tilted in the other direction which makes it basically impossible for me to use tampons even of the smallest size because it just hurts too much and doesn't position well. So I'm definitely all for menstrual products being more advocated!
Especially in a gender neutral way!!!
Me being Nonbinary AND menstruating will probably not change in my life and that is okay! I am not any less Nonbinary!
also i literally do not care whether you prefer pads or tampons but the fact that in almost every situation where free period supplies are available, they’re tampons, and this is just assumed to be fine (or people like campaigning for “free tampons” rather than “free menstrual products”) upsets me bc there are a lot of people who use pads who cannot use tampons and i don’t understand why tampons are considered not just the default but the only option worth mentioning
So I wanted to have the Nonbinary flag as my hair and since I am crazy like that I thought it through with my girlfriend (how we should arrange the colors, my original plan was to do it with horizontal lines) and then just let my sister do her work!
We had to do it over the corse of two days since on day one we bleached, cut and dyed the purple, yellow and white (color correction) parts!
Then on the next day I bought some more bleach and we bleached the white a third time (rip my hair) and dyed the black.
I love it so much! And even though people might not recognize it (someone thought I was a huge basketball fan XD) it is great to wear a part of my identity on my head!
My Fursona/Self-Insert (idk what to call them) also some stuff about me.
This is basically me, but if I was a furry. This character is a wolf/bear hybrid. They are literally me. I’m agender by the way, it means that I don’t have a gender or I’m gender neutral. I use they/them pronouns. I’m a furry (don’t judge) I play video games, draw and write fanfic. My name, Hexagøn, is sorta a childhood nickname. I was very little at the time, and I was sitting at a hexagon-shaped table. My mom was picking me up and she said: “(my real name), come on it’s time to go home!” And I replied, “No! Call me Hexagon!” One time, I was visiting my mom, and one of her friends came over and called me that. I modified the name a bit, and it sorta eventually stuck and now that’s basically my artist name (or something idk what to call it.) Any ways here is what my self-insert looks like.
Is it a problem if this show wants to teach children about respect for others and how to approach theirs for inclusion?
asking for a friend
I accidentally got back into my half life and Will Wood phase. Anyways here’s my persona! Dr. Esper!
More old lesbian Content while I work on Uno’s ref sheet and backstory that was due 6 months ago.