Poor Kuroo :((( - Blog Posts

PUSHING YOU AWAY

character/s: kuroo tetsuro x gn reader

genre/s: angst to fluff

warning/s: none i think just arguing, soft boy kuroo™️

gwen's notes 🤍: i had a v important exam today but instead i started yet another angst series. i wanted reader to be madder here but kuroo was too sad :( i lob him sm

MASTERLIST | TAGLIST

kuroo was certain he would never find love as he grew up surrounded by heartbreak, by venomous words and arguments that shake a house down to its core, by resentment and regret instilled in bitter performative kisses and wedding bands for props. yet you found him.

most days he wondered what kind of hero or saint he must have been in the past life to be loved by you–unconditionally and selflessly.

other days, he's plagued by his past and the recurring nightmare that the home your hearts settled in would be torn down by the same two pairs of hands that built it.

kuroo has been distant lately. you first played it off as being busy at work or being tired, but a feeling in your chest whispered that the longer you allowed it the worse it would get. besides he had a tendency to keep to himself until he no longer could and you hated how he felt the need to carry his burdens by himself.

you squeezed his tensed shoulders, peering at his paperwork sprawled all over his desk. "you should take a break, love," you whispered, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck.

you winced at the way he subtly dodged your affection. "i know i'll be done in a sec," he mumbled dismissively, shuffling his documents.

"i kind of feel like you've been avoiding me lately. is there a problem?"

a beat of silence. "i'm not, just busy," he curtly replied.

"are you sure? you know you could talk to me if there's something bothering you." he only nodded in response to which you rest your case–something was definitely bothering him. "i can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, tetsu," you whispered, reaching to touch his shoulder again.

you audibly gasped as he quickly pushed your hand away. "i know, i get it. i just need to finish this like i said. you're not being of any help if you keep nagging me like this."

frowning, you crossed your arms over your chest. your patience was quickly wearing thin. "well i'm sorry for nagging you. i was just worried about you."

"oh i'm sorry! i'm the one constantly swamped with work but i have to worry about you worrying about me," he sarcastically remarked, rolling his eyes. the dim lights in his office traced his clearly annoyed features.

"what's that supposed to mean?" you raised an eyebrow at him.

he studied your expression for a moment before dismissing you once more. "nothing, forget it."

"no, can you stop brushing me off wh-"

"god," he dragged the word out in utter frustration, running a hand through his face. "can you not take a hint? i wanna be left alone!"

"how do you expect me to ignore this when there's clearly a problem and you're not telling me!" you argued, voice unintentionally raising out of frustration. it sort of felt like he wasn't hearing you, maybe getting the words out louder would help. but in truth, he just didn't want to listen.

in a swift, somewhat aggressive motion, he pushed his chair back and stood to face you. you stumbled back, merely startled by the sudden movements. you weren't afraid he was going to hit you, but the next words that came out of his mouth felt like he just did.

"has it ever occurred to you that maybe i don't want anything to do with you or your pointless worrying, that's why i never talk about the things that bother me!?" you blinked back ay him, trying to process his words. "probably not because all you ever care about is yourself anyway," he huffed, turning away from you.

"you're right, i haven't thought about it like that," you calmly mumbled, a stark contrast to him and your own from 30 seconds ago.

you meant it. though his words stung and there were about a hundred different ways he could have phrased it differently, you understood his point. kuroo was naturally closed off, hiding his vulnerability under a mask of sheer charm and confidence. you felt wrong for prying when he clearly wasn't ready to talk things through. it was for the sake of your relationship, you reasoned, but you didn't think about his own sake enough. he must have had a reason for hiding his troubles but it doesn't justify the way he acted.

you exhaled, breaking the silence. you dismissed your thoughts in favor of giving yourselves some time and maybe talk things through the following morning–properly and civilly like adults.

"i'm sorry for stressing you out. finish up soon so you could get some rest."

you closed the door behind you as you left his office and made your way into the bedroom where you got ready for bed–in silence, alone with your thoughts, replaying his words over and over.

you tossed and turned but sleep wasn't coming to you any time soon so it seemed. you quickly slipped on a hoodie, grabbed your wallet and keys and left for a bit of fresh air.

meanwhile, kuroo in his office had a lot of time to think. in the silence, all he heard was his own words to you echoing repeatedly. the more he dwelled on it the more he hated himself for the way he treated you. when he heard the door in the next room open and close he was half expecting you to enter his office, pry him off his work and get him to bed. instead, he heard the front door open and click close. he panicked.

he zoomed out his office to check the bedroom after a moment of being paralyzed with fear. he prayed that you never left at all and it was all in his head. you weren't there. he frantically searched for his keys. dammit, why were they missing now of all times. you were always the one who knew where he last left them. he debated whether he would try to find you, run around the city like a lost puppy. he figured that might not be the best option, what if you went home as he was still out looking for you? he tried calling you, flooding you with messages as he paced around the barren apartment. no answer, not even read receipts. as he paced back and forth, he heard a faint tune from the bedroom. did you honestly leave your phone as you ran off in the middle of the night?

come to think of it... this scene looked all too familiar to him.

you creeped back into the apartment as quietly as you can, not wanting to wake kuroo if he was already asleep. as you neared your bedroom, sobs and sniffles became louder.

"tetsu?" you gently called out from the door way. he hadn't even noticed you until then. he whipped his head up, red puffy eyes peered at you with both surprise and relief. he came running to tackle you in an embrace.

"oh thank god you didn't leave me. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean any of it i was being a jerk. please don't go," he cried into your shoulder, holding you as if you would float away if he let go in the slightest.

hesitantly, you wrapped your arms around him, rubbing his back soothingly. "what's wrong? i'm not going to leave you, silly. i just went out for some air."

although you wanted him to at least be sorry for what he said, it pained you to see him like this.

"i was wrong. i treated you so badly back there. i was just scared. and i know it doesn't make sense but i was afraid because of how much i love you, how i can't imagine my life without you. and i remembered my mom, my parents. i was scared! i thought- i thought i was going to ruin it somehow. and i just did. you were gone and i just- i thought of the worst-"

you gently hushed his rambling, cradling his wet cheeks into the palms of your hands, looking him in the eyes to anchor him down.

"i'm not leaving, darling. calm down okay?"

he hesitated for a but but nodded intently nonetheless, wrapping you in a tight hug again. you stroked his hair while gently swaying your bodies side to side to hush his cries and the hammering in his chest you felt against yours. "i don't appreciate the way you talked to me, but i understood your point. this was exactly what i didn't want happening if you kept bottling your emotions up."

"i'll try to communicate better i promise. i'll make it up to you. i'm sorry and i love you so much."

you pulled away and wiped his tears gently. "let's get ready for bed, we'll talk in the morning hm?"

his lips pursed to an adorable pout he probably didn't know was showing. a beat of silence later, as he turned to the bath you whispered, "i love you, idiot."