Project Zero - Blog Posts

After completely focusing on my arm for some time I had back my own arm and hand. Skin, five fingers, nails, hair and all those small marks.

I ate what I had left, emptied and refilled my flask twice. By the time I was done the sun was high in the sky. My stomach was grumbling and I sensed that I was far from my usual state. I usually wasn't the guy to go jumping through the woods because he was overflowing with tons of energy, but now I was near to drained.

It was time to preserve my energy as good as possible, to think twice about it if it's worth running after some prey. Naturally I had to take some risks, but even those had to be close to a bet I'd surely win.

I left all unnecessary stuff at the tree, including my shirt and shoes.

It was rather warm and the air stood still, so it was much more pleasant to run around with just pants, bow, arrows & a knife. Might have been a good idea to take some rope with me too, to set up some traps in case I found any good spots, but didn't really think of that then. The Idea was more, fast & much. And traps usually weren't the fast way of getting prey.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

For now I focused on turning back my arm instead of overthinking this.

The main problem with my current situation was, turning back that arm costs me lots of strength. This other body has kind of it's own will. It doesn't want to go 'back'. It want's freedom, which is definitely understandable, but I can't give it that. So it was, as always, a fight to turn back the arm.

Fight may be the wrong term, it's not like fighting someone or something. Not like a classic brawl or arm wrestling where it can go back and forth between both sides. It's more like... something I have to beat down, that simply takes the punches without getting hurt much by it. It needs many, hard punches to go down... if that makes any sense.

And that costs me energy, which means I have to eat & drink more afterwards.

The first meal usually is the biggest, then it goes down drastically meal by meal till I'm back to 'normal'.

This time it was just the arm, so a hare or three as first meal would surely be enough, tho I didn't have that much left.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

All of sudden I felt my claw gripping into the tree, me swinging towards the tree and bumping into it. Then I was just hanging there.

It took me a lot more time to realize... to fathom what just had happened. As I looked up I saw that I was just a bit below the branch I had been sitting and sleeping on. Just about an arms length.

My mind began working again without all that surprise and wonder twisting into every single thought. I pulled myself up and sat on the branch again.

For a a moment I just sat there, looking at my arm.

IT saved me again. I would maybe have survived the fall, if I was lucky enough to not fall on my head, but I had surely hurt myself badly or broken something. And that out here, without any help.

How come that IT has already saved me two times? It's not like I don't appreciate surviving, I just wonder why IT has to help me with it. Clearly it's helpful to have a partner with you, but I don't think I could consider IT that.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Something ripped me out of my sleep.

As I opened my eyes I saw the ground below me, and it was coming towards me quickly.

After what felt like a moment or two I was wake enough to realize it wasn't the ground coming towards me, but me falling down towards it. Down from my safe branch.

Why had this to happen this night? Is it just a coincidence or is it somehow connected to me thinking about it earlier? And if yes, how could thinking about something affect if it's going to happen? I mean, naturally if you plan on going hunting and shoot a deer, that does affect it very much. If you hadn't had that thought you might have not gone to do that. But something like this, like thinking about that it'd hurt to stumble and fall on your face and it then happening only a while later. That can't be connected, right?

Suddenly I noticed this pain in my arm, and through that also how numb my whole body was. It was transforming, beginning at my elbow and slowly crawling towards my hand. Slowly it moved, I didn't have any control over it, towards the tree, reaching for it.

Then things began to get faster, I was falling faster, my arm was moving faster.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

How could I've been so dumb not getting that. That also explains why there are nearly now plants in or directly by the pond.

That means the source of whatever danger, is directly inside the pond, or a bit further up the stream. I saw the fox drinking from the stream, and I drank the water myself even further up, it must be safe there.

I decided to go further up the stream again, hide and wait there. There weren't going to be any animals near here anytime soon, that I was sure of.

I'm unsure if you can hear this, and if you might still be ignoring it but... Thank you, probably saved my arse there

Î dïd zæt før mýssëlf, rrêtård

I didn't expect any other answer from IT so I didn't bother saying anything else.

After a while of walking upstream I found myself a new branch to sit on. The sun was already near the horizon and it began getting darker. I climbed the tree cautiously and sat myself on the branch. As usual it wasn't comfortable, but it was safe

...unless I'd fall down in my sleep.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was puzzled.

How come I neither saw nor heard anything after more than two days waiting. Was there maybe a better source of water nearby? Was IT messing with my senses?

I got out of the bush and took a break. Just sitting there and doing 'nothing' was... not quite exhausting but... tiring.

I had something to fill my stomach a bit, noticed that I was beginning to go empty on food. Got the last sip out of my flask too.

Hmm... that one empty too? Better refill it, after all I'm right near some water.

I went to the pond, knelt down right at it, was just about to sink the flask into the water –

$STØP RRRÎGHT ZÆRRË, ÏDÍØT

What?

Ýöû... ¥ØÙ håvë ßêεñ ssîttïng hærê før HÔW löng wîzøût ÅÑÝ ænîmäl$ bêïng nær zîss ƒûçking pΘnd ånd yøµ sstïll æsk zât?!?!

You mean... the water is...?

€KZÅ₡TL¥, rrêtærd!!

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The branch I found to my liking was thick. I could comfortably sit on it.

So now I had to play the waiting game.

Nothing on the first day.

Neither on the second.

I wasn't sitting still up in that tree all the time. I had to move around a bit, but it wasn't that much that I could be scaring off anything with that.

At first I began to doubt my eyes. That I was too far away from the pond to see slight movements. So I changed position. Hid in a large bush near the lake. Focused completely on my hearing instead. Sitting there in silence for a long while. But I heard nothing. Just a slight, consistent rustle of wind through the leaves.

I knew wild animals aren't really the ones to come stomping through here, breaking every branch lying on the ground, walking into every nearby bush and jump into the water. But still, they had to make some sounds, break this silence somehow, add something to it.

But I heard nothing, not a sound.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The beck ended up in a pond.

There were no animals in sight, but that came probably from me just stomping through there, which was quite mindless to do.

My main thought was that I had gotten to my destination and now had to find a place to hide.

I pondered whether I should hide in a bush or in a tree. And after some time I came to the result that it was in many ways better to sit in a tree than in a bush. Better look over the area, no need to worry about predators sneaking up, I could actually move a bit sitting on a branch, in a bush I'd have to sit still all the time. And after deciding whether tree or bush, I only had to find a suitable tree.

The trees near the lake all seemed very young, not one having any branch that would be thick enough to endure my weight.

It took me some time to find a suitable tree. It wasn't directly by the pond, it was a few paces off. Behind some younger trees.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

Once more I have a note for you people out there :D Actually, this time, I wanna thank you all. It's about a year now since I've started this blog and began posting episodes and I am really happy how this all turned out.

So to all my followers, new or old, official or lurkers, trustworthy or... supsicious; Thank you

I enjoyed that moment for a while longer, just sitting there. It was a welcome change from walking near to all day.

The sun had moved quite a bit, lighting the area in a different way, when I noticed a fox drinking from the beck a few paces from me.

I hit myself against the head.

How couldn't I have thought of that. Animals need water. This may not be the only place around here for them to get some but it's one of them. If I just wait around here somewhere... maybe even follow the stream a little, might even find a pond where it ends up.

I got up and packed my stuff. The fox ran away as soon as I moved, but he wasn't my target anyway. But still, I learned something from him too; If I wanna wait around water for animals, I gotta stay still, or move very slowly.

My new plan was set, following the beck to where it ends and waiting for animals. If I can't follow them, I'll wait for them instead.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

It took quite some time to find any tracks at all, other than those on that bush.

At first I tried looking for any traces of animals eating any other plants in the area, but finding that was near to impossible. Out of old habit I tried looking for any tracks on the ground, in the grass or in the dirt. But didn't find anything significant.

Around the time the sun was at it's highest I found a small beck.

There I took a break. Ate a bit, refilled my flask and sat down for a moment. And although I had been walking around in that forest all day it was the first time I really noticed all the chirping around me.

I was just sitting there in awe for a moment.

Those dozens of chirping birds around me, the small stream besides me, how the sun lighted up the forest right now. It was a great moment.

I wish I could have captured it somehow, and taken it with me.

Picture Stream by abyss1956

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

The start of my day was successful. Quite successful to be honest. 'Discovered' some (most probably) edible plant and had already found a way to enhance my meals with it. In my opinion a very good start of the day.

But the day continued, and so I had to continue too.

Continue looking for any tracks of animals. Preferably something large like a deer. Something to get a bit of profit out of.

I remembered the the berry bush I found. There had been some animal eating from those.

I inspected the bush again. The traces were on the upper part of the bush, so it couldn't have been a rabbit or the like. Might have been a deer. Or at least something similar in size. A cow maybe... here in the forest? Well you never know.

As I inspected the bitten of stalks I noticed that they were already dry and brown were it got severed. Guess it's been some time since something fed from that bush.

But I didn't give up. Up until now I had only known how to trace animals by their tracks in the snow, now I could maybe learn how to follow them by other kind of traces they leave.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

And less than the blink of an eye later I was standing on solid ground.

I took a quick look around Nothing nearby and stretched my body. Loosening up those stiff muscles felt great.

There were some berries right nearby. Small, kinda round, orange-red-ish berries. I pondered over whether I should try some or not. I inspected the bush a bit. It took a while but I found traces of animals eating those berries... or some leaves.

After a bit of thinking I concluded that it must have been some berries. I was quite sure of it.

For safety sake I took one and pressed it in my hands. They were rather juicy, had a few seeds inside too. Didn't smell foul either. So I took the chance and tasted a bit of the juice on my hand.

It was quite tasty.

So I gathered what I could find on that bush in my bag. Wasn't much but it was a change to eating just roasted rabbit. And as I found out a great addition to it too.

Picture Rosehips. Bacche di rosa canina. by Giovanni

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

Sorry for the delay. Really messed up with the queue date on this one :D

I woke up again much later.

The first rays of sunlight were already showing at the horizon.

I was cold and stiff, and my butt hurt, this wasn't the most comfortable place to sit all night long. I began with slowly untying the branches around me. They did help quite well at keeping out the cold, but didn't really keep the warmth in either.

To loosen the stiffness in my body I moved my arms and legs a bit before I thought about climbing down.

I took a look down first, Anything down there I could hit? Or that could be waiting for me?

Didn't seem like there was anything under me... just the ground. It wasn't that high, it wasn't the first time I did this, but still... I always had a weird feeling looking down from 'high' up.

But it didn't matter, I got up here, so I had to get down again too.

The legs hanging down I was much closer to the ground already, I held the branch firmly, turned around and slowly let myself down.

As I was fully stretched out I hadn't touched the ground with my feet yet.

Did IT come out tonight? Set me on another tree? No... it couldn't. I hadn't been covered by those small branches otherwise. It may be shrewd but it's simply not able to do that.

I had faith in my judgement and released my grip...

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

A cool breeze came up. Adding to how cool it already was it was rather unpleasant but I had to keep up with it. There were more sounds throughout the forest now. Crackling, rustling, swishing all around me. Most surely came from the wind, but I had a feeling it wasn't only the wind who rustled and crackled around me.

I took a moment to let my eyes get used to the darkness. Then searched for a stable and above all, climbable tree.

It took me a while. Most trees around were quite stable, but few climbable.

After a bit of searching I found a good one. Climbable, stable, and some thick branches a bit over my head. It was a conifer too. Although it stung in quite a few places, I got myself pretty well protected after bending and 'knotting' some weaker branches around myself.

It was fairly secure up on that branch too. Although I had some eerie feeling sitting up in that tree. As if... something was nearby... watching me.

I didn't think more over it, just thought I was imagining things.

It wasn't the most cozy place to be at this time, maybe a bit softer than on the ground but colder, without a fire. But still, I got very drowsy after a short while.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was unsure at first. Feared meeting an unfortunate end in that forest, but without risk; no reward.

So I went further and further into the forest. Always as low as possible, constantly switching focus between eyes and ears. Between seeing and hearing.

It was quite a bit harder to find any tracks on the overgrown forest ground than in fresh fallen snow. I had to look more closely if I ever wanted to find anything. Not only that, I had to learn about other tracks animals leave behind too; claw marks on trees, ruffled soil, trampled grass...

Lotsa things I had to keep my eyes open for. And it wasn't helping that it got dimmer by the moment.

I could use ITs eyes but the idea itself feels like playing foul. After all it's still kind of... a contest... I guess... between the hunter and the hunted. One flees to save his life, the other attacks to save his own... or that of those he cares for. And then there's me, right now, hunting for my own luxury. For being comfortable. So I can travel a bit in peace, don't have to worry about hunting my own food.

Still, there are things I need. Things I can't make myself, things I can't hunt out here. So I have to get some coin. After all I can't hunt for books with bow and arrow, neither for clothes, or armor.

While these thoughts ran through my mind it had gotten dark around me.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Note from the Author

My hundreth post \(^_^)/ Yeah not quite my hundreth story episode but I'm still very happy I got so far. And again I have to thank a very special woman for that.

Or at least blame her for getting the ball rolling <3

My only real problem at the beginning was I didn't have any coin. So I hunted.Began setting up rabbit traps, selling those to other people on the road or sometimes in towns or villages.

After some three or four dozen days I had enough to get a bow and some arrows. And then I was at it again. Hunting.

I still traveled while hunting, but I usually went a bit off the main road to look for tracks or any other signs of prey or predator. Tho I usually just found rabbits, no big game. I guess I was still to near that road, but I didn't wanna lose sight of it. Had surely lost my orientation somewhere on the way.

It stayed with rabbits for quite a while. They fed my hunger and I could still sell a few. Survived well for quite a while with that, tho one day I dared to venture further into the forest. Search for bigger game. And get some coin out of it. So I could get my main focus on the traveling again.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

In the beginning, the traveling itself was very exhausting. I took breaks often, even tho I walked at a comfortable pace most of the time. I drank lots of water, really, lots. Until I was reminded that the content of my flask was only finite, and that there wasn't always water around to refill it.

Learning that was rough, but I think I'll never forget that again.

In the Night I mostly sat up a small fire and slept next to it. After these long days of walking I was mostly deep asleep within moments after lying down. Looking back on that I was pretty lucky actually. It was foolish to just set up camp out there, especially when you're going to be sleeping like a rock till sun up and beyond. I could have got attacked by animals, robbed by other people... IT could have taken over. But I was lucky, nothing happened.

Woke up every time just like I laid down. With the exception of being rested & kinda stiff from sleeping on the ground.

Must admit, even now the whole walking all day is still quite exhausting, less than in the beginning, and even less if I'm on horse-back part of the day, but I guess it will never quite stop taking most of your vigour.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

And with that I continued on the road. ...actually I guess it was more the official start of it. But you get what I mean... I hope. Anyway, I traveled on.

I continued in the direction that got me here. Wasn't ready to go back yet. I wanted to know what IT is, and I'm still far from knowing.

IT doesn't want me to tell anyone about it. I'd never get the idea to talk with people I couldn't trust about such things, but still it gets me thinking. Why not even with people I trust? Is IT afraid? Afraid someone out there might now what IT is?

Hmmm... very interesting thought... Might be something to go on. I'm sure IF that really is the reason there must be something readable out there too. Some information I just can get without telling anyone about IT directly.

But finding something like that without getting to talk about such stuff, might prove difficult. I have to find some way to talk about IT without really mentioning that it's a fact.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I didn't have much to pack. Didn't come here with much else than the clothes I was wearing... who weren't even mine. But thanks to Ingrid I had some stuff to take with me, and not only knowledge.

I was still wearing the same old clothes, far less holes in them now tho. She had given me a small bag filled with food too. And there that thought came up again. Me leaving, without being able to give anything back.

She lifted my head a bit with her finger

“Hey, no bad feelings now. You've got a long way to walk, and much to do. So you better hurry, before you grow roots here.” she said jokingly

“Well I... You are right, I gotta go. Gotta find ou... do... stuff.”

“Right, you got to. But give me a visit when you're around, tell me what you learned, what you experienced.”

“I... I... I will. Whenever I'm around. So be careful of those boars and the like while hunting” I laughed

She hugged me, saying nothing. Then she turned me around and pushed me out the front door. I looked at her, tilting my head. She was just standing there, waving goodbye. I saw it in her, she was bad at this, bad at saying goodbye. So she wanted it to be over. I complied.

Smiled,

waved,

turned around,

and got on my way.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“What was it you wanted to talk about earlier? Had enough time to sort your mind?”

“Well... I've sorted my mind but... I still have no idea how I should ask this”

“Then work around it, what is it you wanna ask me about?”

“It's... it's this... well my, or rather our, 'contract' “

“Oh you mean the staying for winter? You're right, winter is over but... if you wanna stay for longer do so”

“That's... not really it, tho I'm thankful for your offer, but... hmmm”

“What are you worried about?”

“I... I'm... … I'm worried I leave you without giving you anything back for what you showed me. That I leave without repaying you properly”

She put a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes“Do you really think I did this with the plan to get some compensation for it? I did this because I wanted to, because I had a feel you could use it in the future. Compensation neither needed nor wanted.”

“r... really? You sure?”

“Yes, and besides, you gave me lots of fun memories” she smiled

“...but-”

“No buts! It was fun for me, that's more than enough pay”

She hugged me suddenly, the first time since IT forced its way out. At first I was scared, worried, but I didn't wanna take this hug from her... and didn't wanna let it slide myself. We both needed it.

“Thank you Ingrid, a thousand times and infinitely more”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

I was helping Ingrid skin a deer. As always, silence was our closest companion.I wanted to bring up the topic of me going to leave, but I didn't know how. It seemed so... ungrateful to me, simply leaving, after all she'd done for me. After having learned so much about hunting & through that also about survival in the wild, out of towns or villages.

How can I ever repay her for what she has done? How? How?!

That thought was racing through my mind. Not just racing through, it was consuming it. All she'd keep from having me around are some sad memories; Hunting, Carrying game, Skinning animals & all while not uttering a single word.

In the back of my head I heard someone calling me. At first it was muffled, nearly unintelligible. Then it became clearer, and clearer; Bjorn... Bjorn? Bjorn?!

She grabbed me by the chin, pulled up my head and looked me in the eyes.

“No black eyes, phew, was beginning to worry”

“What? ...Oh no, no need to worry, I'm fine, it's me your talking to, Bjorn”

“Better be” she laughed shortly

Then we were silent again. It wasn't the first time we had done this. She had shown me how to skin animals. First started of with rabbits, the ones that were already hurt, where the pelt hadn't sold that good anyway. There was no need to talk, we both knew what to do.

Should I take this up now? Would I be disturbing her focus with it? How much does she have to focus on this? As much as me? She has far more experience, but still, this needs focus & speed.

“...Ingrid?”

“Hmmm?”

“...we ...I … ...forget it, we'll take it later, when I sorted my mind”

“Mhhmm...” she nodded slightly, keeping her eyes on the task “...sure” she looked up and smiled at me

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

We went back to the village in silence.

We had ventured out far. Were back in village a bit after noon.

Nothing really special happened there. People greeted as usual after we came back. Some asked if the hunt was bad. We told them bout the stag we followed but, we altered the story a bit. First time we got asked Ingrid improvised, then we agreed keeping the story of a pack of wolves coming out of nowhere. That they luckily went after the stag instead of us. Must have noticed that he was the bigger meal. We kept the rest to ourselves. No need to tell anyone.

After that day talking between Ingrid and me kept to the most important stuff. Every now and then, I saw in her eyes that she really wanted to get closer to me again, but she didn't try. She feared what might happen. Wished I could have done something about IT back then.

Then spring came, the snow began to melt, birds were chirping in the forest... and my 'bargain'; a warm place to stay in winter, paid with my help came to an end.

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

She stopped in her tracks. Looked at me. Her face filled with disbelief, fear and sadness. She stuttered at first, but after a short while it just came flooding out. How my grasp around her suddenly had gotten tighter by the moment, all the way to removing the feel of security, and replacing it with pain. How she was struggling to free herself from my grip. How it suddenly opened and ended up with her pushing away so forcefully, that she landed several paces away from me. How I then began screaming at her with this... animalistic ferocity. About leaving him alone, that he was all mine. How I then curiously watched her, with these giant black eyes.

“Those eyes...” she said “those eyes... GIGANTIC, and filled with this... this... void, eating away at everything that one once could see in them”

“It's alright” I tried to calm her “see, they are gone now. You won't see them again”

“I won't... but... but... I won't be the last to see them”

“...I do hope you are... Anything else I said, or did, besides that?”

“A moment after you screamed at me... you suddenly grabbed your head. Writhed around. Like... like something inside-”

“No more. And then, I shouted 'out' ? “

“...you did”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

We went back shortly after. Neither of us said much. I looked at her every now and then, to see if she got hurt somewhere. Physically she seemed fine, but I was sure there had to be some serious mental & emotional damage after that.

She didn't tell me what had happened. She might think I know what happened, that I saw it all, but had no control over it. Or maybe... No, I had to stop overthinking this, without asking I can never guess what she thought. It was simply not possible to think myself into having no idea at all of whats up with me. I know not all of it either, but I know some important bits.

“Ingrid-”

I tried to break the silence, had to find out what happened.

“Whatever happened, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you beforehand, but I don't want people to know, for their safety. And now I'm forced to not tell anyone”

She didn't answer. She just continued walking, looking at the ground, staring far far away. Just like I did back then. Seeing that helped me a bit, helped me understand. It was a different situation, a different enemy, a different time, but I think it was somehow still very similar.

“Please Ingrid...” I put my hand on her shoulder “...please, I beg you, tell me what happened. I don't know, I cannot tell you why, not even what, but I never remember those...” I paused, carefully looking for the right word, to stay true to my contract “...those moments”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“I ran into a forest... not far away. It was the only place I could think of.

Then... one morning... I think it was the first, I had... I had... blood. It was everywhere... on my hands... my face... it wasn't mine. And there was that voice... it was... h-h-horrible. So deep... and it was... everywhere.”

I paused for a moment, to relax a bit.

“I... I got it off... somehow. Beyond the forest... I met a guy... Martin. He and his wife, Ruth, they took me in, cared for me... raised me.

And then... years later... one n-n-night... I... I... I...”

The words were stuck in my throat. Why was this so hard? I took a few deep breaths. Ingrid didn't say a word, didn't move, I barely noticed her breathing. This break was longer. We just sat there in silence, for a while.

“That night... I had a dre-dre-dre--

LËÂVÉ HÎM ÂLØNËËË, HÊ Í$$S MÌÎÏNÊÊ!! YØÛ HÈÅRR MÆ FØÔLÍ$HHH GÎRRRRL? ÅLL MÍNÊÊÊ!!!”

I was surrounded by blackness, by this feel of nothing, again.

Why am I here? Why now? WHAT did you do!? And what are you doing right now?!?

Mäkê ss$súrrê yøü rrêmëmbèr bøyyy, Yôü åré mînè, ând mìnë ålønæ!!!

What? I have no time for your nonsense now, let me back again. Don't you dare hurt her.

Øhhh, ýøû'd cärê íf Î hürt hær? Wê cån ärrràngé zât, yöû knøw.

Don't you dare!! You piece of shit!! It's me you want, come here and fight me.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha YØÛ thînk yöú'd sstând å chäncssæ ågàïnsst mê?!? HA HA HA HA

I... I... godammit, FUCK YOU!! What is it you want from me? What do I have to do so you leave her be!?!

Æsy, døn't têll ånyønê åbøût më ânýmørê. Nëxt tïmê zërê wøn't bé å wàrning

Sure, you've got yourself a deal, now let me

“OUT!!”

Whoa, I was back. She was sitting a few steps away from me, looking at me in terror, tears running down her face.

“Whatever happened, I'm sorry. IT--”

Hêy, rrëmêmbèr whåt YØÚ jüsst ågrêêd tø?!

“...I-I-I sometimes have these... no, I can't lie to you. Now I really can't tell you. For your safety. Else you'll get hurt, and I don't want that.”

“But-”

“Please Ingrid, it's no threat, no bluff, it's... a warning.”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“Ingrid-”She broke me off aggressively

“No, I won't give you a chance to refuse. You know, my father, he was a bastard. He was once a hunter of this small village. But you know what? He was the worst hunter you could imagine. And know what he did when he came back without any game? He beat me. To a pulp. But the worst part hasn't come yet, everyone knew, Ernest too, but no one gave a shit. And one day, I went with him on the hunt. I persuaded him somehow to let me join. Wanna know what I did?”

“I-”

“No, I told you, no chance to refuse. That day, I took a knife with me and... and...” She paused for a moment, got calmer “He didn't come back with me that day, and neither any time later.

As I came back alone... at first some people asked where he was. As soon as I looked into their eyes they knew, but still I... sarcastically... I told them that he... that he saved me from a boar and didn't get up from that. They all knew he wasn't that kind of person. He had never done that... not for me.”

At that point she was overflowing with hatred and sadness. Tears were running down her cheeks. She dropped down to her knees. And nearly out of reflex, since it just felt like the right thing to do, I held her in my arms.

We sat there like that for a moment.

Still sobbing she said “Now it's your turn...”

“I... I...” I sighed “Where should I start? My village got burnt down. Everyone got killed, except me. I don't know who it was, but this one guy was shouting 'Hail to the king' all the time.”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

“It... it's ok. You don't have to tell me.” She looked at me and forced a smile

Yøû wõn't téll hèr? Åftær ââââll shë's dønê fór yøû?He... IT asked mockingly

I told you to shut up!

Ingrid took a step back, fright painting her face

“Where does that anger suddenly come from?”

“Please Ingrid, it's in no way your fault.”

“Then I demand you tell me whose it is” Suddenly her voice was tense again. The fright had vanished from her face.

“Please Ingrid-”

“You know where we are?”

“What?” I was confused about the sudden change of topic

“You heard me!”

“...I don't know, in a forest”

“Know how to get back?”

“What?... No. I don't”

“Wonderful, if you wanna get back you tell me. Else I'll leave you here. You know I can”

“Ingrid, that is ridiculous”

“How about that then, we'll exchange secrets. I'll tell you mine, you yours afterwards.”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Wâtchã døìñg bûddy? Hüntîñg?

Why would you care? Just fuck off again, go wherever you hid all this time.

Lêmmë güês$s, yøû åré döwn fôr zæt $ståg zêrë? Î'll gïvè yøü å hænd...

No-

WAAAAAAAHHH!!!

The stag looked around shortly, with terror in it's eyes, and fled immediately.

How did you...? Why did you...? WHAT do you want!?

Jüs$t wâñnå hævê sømê fún Ha Ha Ha Ha

“What happened there? Besides us there's nothing around, but still it fled.”

I nearly jumped up as she suddenly appeared behind me.

“I... I... I don't know... I... I was just about to take an arrow... then it ran”

“Why so on edge? Thought it ran from a wolf who was creeping up on you?”She laughed

If she only knew what it really ran from... If she'd know there are worse things than wolves around... But I can't tell her... Or can I?... No. For her sake I won't tell her.

Wo-ow Whö'$ zât cütîé?

Just. Shut. Up.

“Hey. You still with me? Why so tense all of sudden?”

“What... oh... eh... it's nothing. Really.”

“Doesn't sound like nothing to me. What are you so worried about? Tell me, I can see it in your eyes.”

“No... I can't. Please trust me on this one... I can't... I won't. And there's no persuading me”

“But-”

“No!” Damn, that came out harsher than I meant to. Come on, apologize“I'm sorry Ingrid... it's just... I'm unsure myself what actually is up. Please, trust me, you don't want to know.”

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

She clapped half sarcastically“Lucky shot”

“...thanks, any chance you could... give me some tips for the more precise aiming too? Like... hitting that snowball over and over again?”

“Not much to tell you there, look at your target, focus and gather much experience. You'll learn the best way to aim through just shooting and hitting or missing. And don't get impatient, latter will happen more frequently.”

“Ok, thanks”

I thought about her words; Look at your target, focus and gather experience. Guess of those three I'm mostly lacking experience... which isn't easy to acquire, but that's what makes it worth the work

“It's just like reading tracks, either you hit or you miss. Only more literally”

I nodded in understanding “I'll give that stag another try. You... do whatever you feel like...”

“I'll be in the bushes behind you” She said with a smirk and disappeared out of sight again.

Ok, first I'll see if I can find those arrows.

I found the arrows. At least three of them. The one I shot at the stag I never saw again. As soon as I lost contact with it while still in flight it was doomed to be lost forever.

After that I took on hunting down the stag. It was exhausting following it, it ran quite a bit. But I managed to track it down. Although I was wondering how Ingrid was holding up, and how we'd get that big animal all the way back, naturally only IF I was able to get it.

I was in close vicinity to him again. Was already down crouching. He was feeding of something growing from trees. Curious, never seen that before. Gotta ask Ingrid about it later.

Wåtchà tãlkîñg 'bøüt, bûddý?

Oh not you, fuck off for a moment, would you?

Nãh, Ï fêél lìkê $sstæyïng

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016

Immediately I felt a stinging pain in my lower arm & dropped the bow. I was unsure what happened, but as I looked at my arm it was red as fire.

“Hit yourself with the string?” she laughed as Ingrid came out of hiding.

“What?”

“You hit yourself with the string, that's why your arm is red, and why the arrow fell short. Put some snow on the arm, it helps”

I did as she said. It really was relieving.

“But else quite a good first try. Anyone showed you how to use a bow before?”

“Not really... No. I just... observed you. Did what you did.”

“Ok then...” She got the bow from where I dropped it “... I'll have to show you.

You know how to hold it, nothing really difficult but it's important. But one thing about holding it you did wrong, any idea what? I can hold it like you just did, maybe you'll see it then”

I looked closely at her holding the bow. There was nothing unusual. Held it like she normally did too.

“...can't really see any difference to usually”

“So that's where the problem lies, you didn't observe closely enough. See, usually I hold the bow like this”

She bent her left arm a little to the side instead of holding it straight

“And basically, that's all there is to not hitting yourself with the string”

“...thats all?” I was baffled, but as I thought about it I understood it

“Yeah, that's all. Now to aiming” She gave me the bow

“Lets see...” She looked around “hmm... try hitting that tree over there”

“Funny, we're surrounded by trees”

She made a ball out of snow and threw it at one of the trees “Know wich one I mean now? Try hitting the snow from that snowball”

I took an arrow out of the quiver, put it on the bow, bent my arm this time, drew and released.

The arrow went past the tree

“Try once more”

“...if you say so”

I shot another arrow at the tree, focusing on the snowball

Past the tree again, but this time on the other side.

“When do you release the arrow?”

“What?”

“I know you've heard me boy, don't play the fool here”

“I... I don't know. When I focused on the spot I wanna hit”

“So you have no idea. Ok. Take another arrow, draw the bow, but this time, hold it”

I did as she said, this would soon get difficult to hold. She approched me.

“Look at me now, no need to focus on where the arrow is going.”

She put her hand on my chest, through the bow, if I would let go now I would definitely hurt her. I would probably even hurt her badly.

“Now, focus on your breathing and your heart. Be sure it all goes nice and slowly”

She put her head on my chest, probably to hear my heart beat. Even more danger if I'd let go now. She might had done that on purpose. To force me to hold out.

“Slower, come on, I know you can” her voice got softer, less tense... more relaxed

I focused on my breathing. Took long, slow breaths in and long slow breaths out. After some breaths there began to form a pause between the in and out breathing. Not long, but for an instant I didn't breath at all.

Simultaneously I also noticed how my heart was beating slower & slower. As if there was a connection between those two.

Ingrid lifted her head from my chest and looked me in the eyes for an instant. She rashly turned away and focused again.

Her voice was tense again, but with a bit of an weird soft undertone “Ok, good. You notice the pause between every breath? That's when you release the arrow.”

She still had her hand on my chest. I must admit, I did forget that I was holding the bow there for a moment with her head on my chest, but now I felt it in my arms again. She looked at me again for a short moment, but this time with an evil grin. As if she found it amusing to see me struggle holding the bow.

She lifted her hand. I began breathing in.

Focused on the snowball.

Released.

Hit!

Note from the Author

That got quite a bit longer than intended, but I hope it makes up for the left out episode.

Thanks for reading & a good weekend to ya all ^_^

© The Zero 零 Squad, 2013-2016