She Isn't Ready To Change Yet But I Understand Why She Does It - Blog Posts

Hey, mildly specific positivity post, but...

Throwing some positivity towards systems whose pre-syscovery experience was having a "mean voice" or a cruel "voice of reason" who told you horrible things or parroted what others had told you prior. ...That voice turning out later to be an alter who you now had to learn to work with to stay functional, especially after the traumatic period passed and their role waned in necessity. Positivity to those who used to have multiple of these voices/sides.

So positivity to the alters who were that voice of hostility and then evolved. Positivity to the ones who still act like that. Positivity to the ones trying to get better. Positivity to the ones who aren't trying because they aren't ready or aren't safe yet.

Positivity to the alters who had to bear the brunt of that behavior and have rebuilt that relationship. Positivity to the ones that bore the brunt of that behavior and haven't repaired that relationship. Positivity to the ones trying to make it better and friendlier. Positivity to the ones who can't fix it yet but want to. Positivity to the ones who don't want to make it amiable.

We were maybe a third grader when we could hear an unrelenting, methodical voice that told us we were worthless. It talked to us like a second person, and that voice eventually became Chatter B. We'd taken note of it in a moment of clarity once on how odd it was to hear a voice talk to me so harshly, but not 'as' me. I called her Reason. She was the first.

She's since changed shape and form, even changed name a couple times, seemingly fused with others, fractured again, and became the now meshy orbit of around ~10 we see her as today. But I love ya, [name Redacted], you were an asshole but you kept us alive. Props for that. I'm glad we can move on now that shit's over <3