Something Is Wrong - Blog Posts

d4wns0ck

5 months ago

Is this concerning? Do any other dw players get this?

So. This has happened twice so far. It's always floor 7, with only me and someone else in the run. It's always a kitchen map, floor 7, one other person. It feels just... off. Like something other than the twisteds is watching us. Like it's preying on us.i always die to get the feeling to go away, I have no idea if the feeling stays or not yet.

Screenshot proof:

Is This Concerning? Do Any Other Dw Players Get This?

The gender just ain't gendering duuuuude

I wore a skirt today for the first time in a while, and the whole day, I started feeling so off. Also I was wearing my Batman shirt that's just like...tighter on the chest. And also studded belt because that thing is cool and is the love of my life. Anyways, I thought the outfit was cute this morning, but as the day went on, I felt more and more like...just really weird, like something felt wrong. And so I sat down, and I was like, "Girl why you don't feel so girl...man...". Idk how to explain it, but I felt a lot like a girl, and I hated that feeling. Now, I've never really questioned my gender identity too much, just that I'm not totally like stereotypically feminine. But today was just too much, and as soon as I got my ass home, I had to get out of those clothes. I looked in the mirror, and I felt sick seeing the fact that I had tits. Like I wanted to chop them off right then and there, they just didn't feel right to me. Immediately remembered that one time for funsies, I saved this video to my "Watch Later" playlist on YouTube about hiding your chest without a binder. I didn't feel okay until I looked in the mirror, with some shit to compress away my chest as much as possible and this men's hoodie I had, where finally, there was no shape over my chest. Also changed to baggy pants because that felt better too.

I really need to restate the fact that I've never thought too hard about whether or not I felt like a girl. I just kinda rolled with it cuz I didn't care too much. But suddenly today, I don't know if it was the clothes I was wearing, or if something in my brain just clicked. My body just feels wrong now, and I don't know what this feeling is. I know the concept of gender dysphoria, as I'm friends with trans people, and I see them online. I'm just not sure if what it is I'm feeling is gender dysphoria or what, all I know is that I hate these fucking curves on my body and I want them gone. I don't know what the hell I am, but whatever it is, I don't want it to be a girl. It just feels really wrong right now, and I know I keep using that as a phrase, but I don't know how else to explain the feeling. Whatever body I'm in right now is just not me, but I'm not currently in a position where I can do anything about that, and I feel like I'm dying when I can feel the literal weight on my chest (I say that like there's a lot there, but not really, I've never fucking measured, but there is some there), or when I look down and there's a visible shape there.

What the actual fuck is going on I hate this

ANYWAY THAT'S ALL BYEEEE