The Clone Wars Fives - Blog Posts

Our Own Choices

Chapter 3

After Rex said that he would let me go on some less dangerous missions with him, I've been training harder than ever. I'm still better at melee than shooting pistols or blasters and Rex has taught me how to disarm explosives and use some of those droid poppers on droidekas.

I haven't joined him on any battles yet, but when he told me that I could help him hunt down General Grievous on Saleucami a few days ago, how could I say no to that?

I've gotten a set of clone trooper armour for myself, I've made a few modifications to them considering I'm still quite short, about 163cm for now. Rex even gave me the permission to paint my armour black to blend in with the night sky if I ever needed to, and I added some orange highlights. I've got some grenades clipped to my belt, and a knife compartment up my sleeve. My helmet has a voice modulator so that the others don't recognize that I'm a girl by my slightly higher pitched voice.

I fly a ship to Saleucami and I see a bunch of jedi cruisers making their way down to the planet's surface, and I follow them. When we land, I see a bunch of speeders heading down from the cruiser and Rex and General Kenobi walking out. I run towards them.

"Who's this?" General Kenobi asks.

I awkwardly stand behind Rex, not sure what to say.

"His name's Aris. He's on the younger side, but he's a good soldier. He's just a little shy," Rex says. I look up at him. "I'm not shy."

I can see General Kenobi's eyes widen slightly when he hears my name, but it's not that obvious to Rex or any of the others. 

The general turns to Rex and says that we're gonna go towards the wreckage of the landing transport first.

"Go get a speeder," Rex nudges me in the side and we both go to get a speeder each before we head off with some walkers.

The greenery of Saleucami feels so different than the barracks and machinery that I'm used to, it makes me feel a lot more calm. I mostly move behind the walkers and other speeders, so that they hopefully won't pay much attention to me.

We reach Grievous's ship in a while, and some of the other troopers are checking out the wreckage, while I'm staying close to Rex and Jesse.

We go report in to General Kenobi.

"The crew compartment's almost entirely destroyed," Rex reports.

"We'll split into teams. Rex, take Jesse, Hardcase and Kix and search those wetlands," General Kenobi says.

"Yes sir," Rex says, before motioning me to follow him and Jesse as we walk away.

"And, Rex, if you get a visual on Grievous, contact us before you engage."

Rex nods before putting his helmet back on and we get on our speeders and drive off into the wetlands. 

I never get to see so much green on Coruscant, this would be a nice place to train. Maybe I should suggest that to Rex. 

Rex and the others are driving so fast, I try to keep up but I'm still lagging behind, I don't wanna drive too fast because I have no intention of dying today.

And then I see Rex get shot down in front of me, he flies off his speeder. I freeze, my breath hitches, and I hear gunshots not too far away.

I stop my speeder and jump off, running towards Rex's lifeless body, kneeling down beside him.

"Rex?" I shake him by the shoulders gently. "REX?" I shake him harder. He still doesn't move. My voice cracks. "I swear if you are dead...I'm gonna kill you. Rex? Rex, wake up, please..."

Dad...

My vision starts to blur inside my helmet, I know tears are starting to form but I cant clear them right now because I can't take off my helmet, so I just try to blink them out of my eyes. 

I barely notice Kix coming over to check on Rex, they take off his helmet and then tell Jesse to come over here, I'm still shaking Rex by the shoulders, trying to get him to wake up.

Jesse and Hardcase come over. 

"How bad?"  Jesse asks.

"Pretty bad. I need to remove his armor to see the full extent of the damage," Kix replies.

I check Rex's pulse, it's weak, but it's there.

"Those snipers might have called for backup," Hardcase says. "Unless we wanna start getting picked off one by one, we should find better cover first."

Some animals start walking over to us, they kinda look like the walkers, and they're noses are probably longer than most of the clones' dicks. How do I know? Rex may or may not have told me the sizes of all the clones' dicks.

"Wait a minute. Those critters are domesticated," Jesse says.

"Sir?"

"I think we're on farmland. And where there's a farm, there's usually a farmer," Jesse says.

I roll my eyes from under my helmet. "No shit smartass."

Jesse ignores me. "Let's find his homestead."

Jesse and Kix sling Rex onto their shoulders and puts him on a stretcher which Kix attaches to his speeder and I just follow them from behind.

It's sunset now. The sun casts an orange glow over the land as we reach a small house. Kix arrives up next to the door and this female Twi'Lek holds up a rifle and points it at him.

"We want no trouble here," she says.

"Easy with that weapon, ma'am," Jesse says as he takes off his helmet. "We're here as friends."

"State your business," the Twi'Lek says pointing the rifle at him.

I arrive back up behind Jesse, remaining silent.

"Our friend's been hurt. We need-" Kix gets cut off by her. "I'm no doctor. So just-"

"We have a medic ma'am. We just need a place to tend to him overnight," Jesse says.

 2 kids run out behind the Twi'Lek. My eyes light up. I haven't seen kids for a long time. Not since Kamino.

"Get inside, both of you," the Twi'Lek says and the kids reluctantly head into the house. "Look, there are some benches out back in the barn. It's the best I can do."

"That'll be fine ma'am. Thank you."

So we head to the barn and set Rex down on one of the benches, I lean against the wall at the far end of the barn, spinning my knife and keeping myself distracted while the others take care of Rex.

I hear Rex waking up and I run over, pushing my way past Jesse. He's shirtless, and has a medpatch on his chest.

"What? What happened?" Rex asks as he opens his eyes. 

"Commando droids took a potshot that would've gone straight through your heart had it been two inches to the left," Hardcase says.

"I can't move my arm," Rex says.

"You have some nerve damage," Kix tells him.

"Understood. Now patch me up and let's get on with it," Rex turns to the side.

"Sir, you're in no condition. It will heal, but it'll take time."

"We're getting under way, Kix. That's an order."

"Sir, as the team medic, when it comes to the health of the men, including you...I outrank everyone. So I respectfully order you, sir, to get some-"

I hear someone clearing their throat. "Excuse me." I turn around, it's that Twi'Lek again, she's carrying a plate of fruit. "If that's not enough-"

"That's plenty. Thank you, uh..."

"Suu."

Some droid ball-like thingy comes into the room and one of those kids I saw just now runs in, picking it up.

"I told you to stay in the house," Suu says.

"I couldn't help it, mom. It got away."

Then the kid looks at Rex and stares at him. "You look like my daddy."

"Shaeeah. Don't both the soldier. Now get inside with your brother."

"Yes, mom."

"My husband is away, delivering our first harvest," Suu says as she passes the plate of fruit to Jesse. "Do you require anything else?"

"No. Thank you, Suu."

Kix takes a pistol and puts it beside Rex's good hand.

"Resume the search without me," Rex says. "Jesse, you're in command." Jesse nods. "I'll be fine." He sighs.

"I'm staying with the captain," I speak up.

"Kid, you're going with them. That's an order," Rex says.

"I'm staying with you here, captain, whether you like it or not."

Rex sighs. "Fine."

As Jesse, Kix and Hardcase leave the room, I finally take off my helmet and set on the floor beside him. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. Rex chuckles a bit and hugs me back with his good arm.

"I was so worried," my voice cracks.

"I'm alright kid, I won't die from a simple shot like that."

I let go of him and sit down on the floor beside him, playing with my knife again.

"You want some water?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Nah ad'ika, I'm fine."

"I'll get some anyways." I put my helmet back on, standing up and heading out of the room. 

I head to the house where Suu came out of just now, and I knock on the door. Suu opens it, and lets me in.

The place is well-lit, and it seems quite cozy. Better than the barracks, at least. 

"I need some water," I tell Suu, and she goes to get some, returning in a short while. I see the kids looking at me from a corner, and I awkwardly wave at them.

"You're a little short to be one of them," Suu says as she hands me the water. "And you don't take off your helmet like the others."

"That's none of your business. Thanks for the water." I walk out of the house and back into the barn where I give some water to Rex.

"Thanks ad'ika ," he says as he drinks it.

I take my helmet off and set it down on the floor, sitting next to it.

"Yknow you can trust some of them to not reveal your secret. They're good men," Rex says.

"I don't trust any of them."

"Well, you should. It's good to make some friends."

"I don't need friends.  I already have you, Fives, Echo and Hevy-"

"Kid."

I look down, sighing. "Hevy's gone, I know."

Rex pats my head with his good arm and messes my hair up a bit. I smile slightly and lean against the wall.

"Don't move too much. We don't want the injury to get worse."

I forgot there was animals in the barn, so in the middle of the night, some random animals go drool on both me and Rex, and on my armour.

When I feel the liquid dripping on me, I instantly wake up and wipe it away. Some of it dripped on my helmet.

"Hey! I just got the new paint job!" I push the animal away.

And then I hear the faint sound of metal and footsteps. Rex's hand reaches for his pistol, and I draw my knife and sword and inch along the walls to where the sound is coming from.

I see the person making his way closer towards Rex in the room, he doesn't see me because of the colour of my armour. 

I see Rex try to shoot him but his pistol gets knocked out of his hand and the person points his weapon at him.

I quietly run behind the person, and grab his shoulder, pulling him backwards and putting my knife over his throat. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you."

I see the person's eyes widen. "Who are you?" he asks. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the one asking the questions, not you." I press the knife to his throat. "Drop your weapon."

"Let go of him. He's a clone," Rex orders, and I kick his weapon to the side, slowly drawing my knife away from him and putting it back in my wrist compartment, and slinging my sword onto my back.

"So...I see the war has finally made its way out here, and I guess I can expect a visit from some droids soon," the clone says.

"What's your number and rank?" Rex asks, sitting up. 

"Heh. My name is Lawquane. Cut Lawquane, and I'm just a simple farmer."

"You're a deserter."

Cut chuckles. "Well, I like to think I'm merely exercising my freedom to choose, to choose not to kill for a living."

"That is not your choice to make," Rex says, as the lights in the barn turn on. "You swore an oath to the Republic. You have a duty."

"I have a duty, you're right. But it's to my family. Does that count or do you still plan to turn me in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yea you do, he seems like a nice guy," I speak up again.

Cut looks at me. "Well thanks, kid. And I suppose you won't try to kill me again, will you?"

I look at him. "Only if you give me a reason to."

"Daddy! You're home!" the kids come running over and hug Cut. I instantly reach for my helmet, but Rex puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Fine," I groan, before sitting down on the floor next to him.

"Look what I drew you, Dad!" the other kid holds up a drawing. Cut chuckles and pats the kid on the head. "That's great Jekk."

"I see you two have met," Suu says.

"He looks just like you, daddy. I told him," one of kids says.

"Ah, you did, huh? I was just making our guest, Captain, um...what's your number?"

"Rex. I also have a name, believe it or not."

"He was injured. His men brought him here," Suu says. "I told him he could stay, just for the night."

"Of course he can. We never turn away those in need, do we?"

"No, we always help anyone we can," one of the kids sasys.

"You look hungry, Rex," Cut says.

"No, I'm fine, I'll stay here," Rex replies quickly.

"No, you have to eat with us, pleaseeee?"

"Please????"

Cut chuckles. "They're never gonna stop until you say yes."

"Alright, I'll join you."

Cut helps Rex stand up and as I watch them as they walk out of the barn, still sitting on the floor.

Cut turns back and looks at me. "You coming?"

I nod and put on my helmet. "Yea sure."

I keep quiet at the table as I eat. I don't take my helmet off, I just eat from under my helmet, Rex nudges me in the side to tell me that I can take my helmet off, but I shake my head.

"Yes, well you and I may be clones, but we're still individuals. You have a name rather than a number, Captain. Why is that?" Cut asks.

"Perhaps our leaders feel it's a more efficient way or distinguishing us," Rex replies.

"More efficient than a number? Hmm. I doubt the Kaminoans think that way. Still, a name has to make you feel unique, especially in an army where everyone looks like you and talks like you."

"Not everyone," I speak up.

"Actually, I've never really thought about it," Rex says.

"Yes, you have."

"Well, how would you know?"

"Because I'm as close to you as any life-form can be." Cut passes Rex his food and leans in. "I've seen how you look at my family, our home. Come on, Rex, admit it. You've thought about what your life could look like if you were to also leave the army, choose the life you want."

Rex looks at me. "What if I am choosing the life I want? What if I'm staying in the army because it's meaningful to me?"

"And how is it meaningful?"

"Because I'm part of the most pivotal moment in the history of the Republic. If we fail, then our children and their children could be forced to live under an evil I can't well imagine."

"If you were to have children, of course, but that would be against the rules, wouldn't it? Isn't that what somebody programmed you to believe, Captain?"

"No, Cut. It's simply what I believe. It doesn't matter if it's my children or other people's children. Does that meet with your approval?"

"Perfectly. To each his own. That's what I always say."

"What does that mean, daddy?" one of the kids asks.

"It means you can do anything with your life that you want to."

"Why don't you take your helmet off?" Suu asks.

"I'd...prefer not to," I reply.

"Aw cmon, please? We wanna see your face," the kids say, and they starts begging me to take off my helmet. I look at Rex, and then Cut, and then they both nod at me, and I hesitantly take off my helmet.

"You're a girl version of Daddy?" one of the kids asks.

I chuckle. "I guess you could say that."

"Why are you out in the field so early? Don't you have training to do back on Kamino?" Cut asks.

"I ran away from Kamino when the war started, got caught in a skirmish, Rex found me and took me in."

"And I'm guessing you had no choice?"

"No. I chose this life. I want to fight for the Republic. No matter how much of a mistake I am to the Kaminoans, I'm still a soldier, and I wanna do my duty."

"Isn't that what you were programmed to think?"

I fall silent. 

"How old are you?" Suu asks.

"14," I reply. 

"You're fighting in a war when you're so young?" one of the kids asks. 

"I wouldn't consider it young but-"

"Yea, she is, I trained her myself," Rex says, and I can hear a hint of proudness in his voice.

"Do you have a name?" Cut asks.

"Yea. It's Aris."

"That's a cool name," one of the kids says.

I nod at them.

After dinner, Cut and Rex go play some Dejarik and Cut tells Rex his story, and Cut lets the kids go outside and play for a few minutes, and he tells me to keep an eye on them. I nod and follow them outside. 

They're playing hide-and-seek in the fields, and I put my helmet on, following them. I see the older kid called Shaeeah scare the living hell out of Jekk, and I smile to myself under my helmet. 

I wish my childhood was like this.

"Look. In the field," Jekk says. 

I look out in the field and see a metal structure that looks like it crashed into the field.

"Stay back kids, I'll go check it out," I say, before running inside the structure.

Clearly they have a hearing problem, because they follow me inside. 

I walk through a dark hallway, pistol and sword drawn, and find myself in a dark room full of lifeless commando droids. I get ready to shoot them before they can do anything, and then they suddenly power up. I look behind and I see Shaeeah who accidentally pressed the button to power them up.

"Run!" I shout to the kids. "Go tell dad!"

I shoot as many of the droids as I can before they start moving, and I run out of the structure, hiding in the field, hoping that they won't hear or see me. I hold my breath. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears, it's so loud.

I make my way through the fields and back to the house. I see 3 commando droids circling around it. 

I take a deep breath and steel myself before drawing my knife and stabbing one in the head, drawing my pistol and shooting the other, and Cut shoots the last one with his rifle.

I nod at him. "Thanks."

I hide with him behind the wall, it's all quiet, but I can hear footsteps around the house, my breathing quickens, the inside of my helmet is warm.

Suddenly, a commando droid holds Cut by the neck, and I shoot it in the head with my pistol, almost hitting Cut. 

Another commando droid comes from the door and Cut shoots it before I can. I don't like this. 

"Why isn't Rex here?" I whisper to Cut.

"He's backup in case we die," he replies.

"So you think we're gonna die?!??!?"

"That is a possibility."

"Okay, point taken," I gulp as I hear a creaking sound coming from the floorboards.

I cautiously walk over and open the trapdoor, and then a bunch more commando droids come out. I stab one in the head before backing up and shooting at them. They're also shooting at me and Cut, and a blaster bolt grazes my hand, it cuts through my glove and I can feel the burning on my hand.

I take cover behind a wall, and shoot the droids from there. I see Cut get trapped under some debris that fell from the ceiling, and I draw my sword, slicing through 2 of the commando droids and shooting another in the head, and then suddenly I feel a strong grip around my neck, I look back and see another commando droid, the grip is getting tighter and I can't breathe...

Cut forces the debris that he's stuck under off of him, hitting the droid that's strangling me, and it falls to the ground, the lights from it's eyes turning off. I'm breathing heavily, my throat feels like it's pressed in, I cough a bit as Cut takes out the rest of the droids.

I hear blaster fire from upstairs, Rex must be taking care of the last ones. I see Cut wrestling with one of the commando droids and I go over to help him, stabbing it in the head.

And then Rex falls from the ceiling and the last commando droid grips his neck, trying to strangle him like its counterpart tried to strangle me, and Cut shoots it in the head, causing it to let Rex go. Rex staggers back, coughing a bit.

I hear the kids calling out for Cut, and he reassures them, telling them that it's over.

Rex puts a hand on my shoulder. "Good job, kid."

"Thanks Rex," my voice is hoarse and I cough a bit, receiving a bit of a concerned look from Rex. "I'm-" I cough a bit. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

I cough again. "Y-yea."

The kids and Suu come down the stairs and hug Cut, and Rex and I lean against the wall. I sigh. "Rex, have you actually thought about leaving the army before? Yknow, you could have a family, be away from all the war for once."

Rex looks at me, and I take off my helmet. 

"I already have a family. I wouldn't have it any other way." 

And then he pulls me into a hug and I hug him back tightly. 

In the morning, Rex and I have to leave, we put our stuff onto one of these animals and then we get ready to leave. 

"Captain Rex, are you going to turn in my husband?" Suu asks.

"I'm sorry Suu. It's my duty." I glare at Rex. "But in my condition, I probably won't remember any of this."

Suu looks happy.

"You're still a deserter, Cut, but you're certainly not a coward."

The kids come and hug my waist. "Promise you'll come back sometime?" they ask, and I nod, smiling at them before putting my helmet back on.

Rex receives a transmission from General Kenobi.

"Captain Rex, are you still with us?"

"Yes, General Kenobi. I'm still with you and thankfully on the mend sir."

"That's great news. We certainly missed you at the party."

"Does that mean I missed out on some action?" I speak into the comlink.

"Quite a lot of it, actually."

"Sorry sir, I...had to attend one of my own."

"Can't wait to hear about it. We're standing by."

"You're welcome to stay, Rex," Cut says.

"This is your home, Cut. My family is elsewhere." Rex looks at me, before we get on the animal thing and wave to Cut and his family, before riding off into the sunset.

We meet up with General Kenobi, and then we get back onto the Jedi cruiser, and before I head to my barracks, Rex stops me.

"You did good, ad'ika," he says. 

"Thanks, captain," I smirk under my helmet.

"Yknow I could get used to you calling me that, right?" Rex laughs a bit.

I chuckle.

"I know you'll never get used to it."

Our Own Choices

Chapter 2

Clone forces rally. As the war escalates in the Outer Rim, the Jedi Knights are spread thinly across the galaxy.  Many new clones are rushed into service to support their Jedi generals. Unfortunately, because of the relentless demands of battle, many young clones must join the struggle before their intensive training has been completed. These clones, manning a vital network of tracking stations, are all that stand between the Republic and invasion.

I gotta admit, training isn't fun. Rex says it's hard at first, but I'll get used to it. Rex and some other troopers from the 501st train me, and physical training is a literal nightmare. When I wake up the next day my limbs feel like they're gonna fall off. To be honest, it would be better if they did.

I haven't seen Kix after that first time we met, and I haven't interacted with any of the other clones either.

"We want as few clones as possible to know that you were a deserter," Rex says.

"What's a deserter?" I ask him.

"Someone who left the army without permission. People like you."

"But I'm back now, right?"

"Still, we should be cautious."

Most of the time Rex isn't around for my training, he's planning battle strategies with the Jedi Generals and out in the field. 

There's one time Rex comes back from the Battle of Christophsis and he tells me General Skywalker has a new padawan.

"She really thought since she was a commander she outranked me." Rex and I sit on a bench at the side while I'm taking a break from my training. 

"I'm guessing she doesn't, because-"

"In my book, experience outranks everything."

"In your book, experience outranks everything."

Rex and I say it at the same time. Rex chuckles and pats my head. "I see you've at least learned something from me."

"How could I forget that one line you say at least once a week?"

"You got a point kid."

"If experience outranks everything, then why won't you let me get out in the field to get experience?" I ask, probably for the 4th time that week.

Rex's expression hardens. "We had this conversation before, kid. It's too dangerous out there for you for now, you gotta focus on your training first, and when I say you're ready to get out there, you can join me and the boys in the 501st. Got it?"

I roll my eyes, sighing. "Fine."

Rex hands me a few credits. "Go get yourself some new clothes when we land on Coruscant tonight, okay? Your old ones are getting a bit tight." And then he pats me on the back and walks off.

I put the credits in my pocket and get back to training.

I'm still better using a knife than a blaster, but I'm pretty decent with a sniper as well, my long-distance aim with a pistol is shitty, but in close range I can get a good headshot in. 

Rex let me keep my knife, and he even got me a larger one which looks a lot more like a sword, the orange highlights on it match the ones on my old knife. 

Recently, Rex and Cody have been checking the Republic outposts for inspection, and I haven't seen Rex in weeks. 

When Rex finally arrives back on Coruscant, I'm already standing at the hangar waiting for him, crossing my arms.

"What took you so long?" I ask.

"I told you that it was gonna be a few weeks," Rex sighs. "Nice hoodie you got there, by the way."

"Thanks. And what did you say about teaching me how to use those deflector pucks for trick shots before you left?"

"I said that was after you mastered shooting a pistol." 

"But I already have! I can get a headshot from like 3 meters away." I protest.

"3 meters isn't far. You'll be shot down by clankers before you could even get that close."

"Aw cmon, captain, at least give me a demonstration," I smirk. I know he hates it when I call him "captain".

"No time for that. Commander Cody and I are going to the Rishi outpost in a few minutes, I was just checking in on you."

"Oh, how kind of you," I reply, before walking away.

Once I see Rex turn his gaze away from me, I run behind a box near the ship, and wait for Rex and Cody to get into their ship. As the door of the ship starts to close behind them, I slip in at the last second quietly and hide in the darkness, hoping that no one heard me.

As the ship lands on Rishi, the lights at the back of the ship, where I am, turn on. I draw a quick breath, there's nowhere to hide, and Rex and Cody are coming. So I stand up and smile awkwardly.

"Hi guys."

"Kid, what are you doing here, I told you to stay on Coruscant and train," Rex sounds annoyed.

"Who's the kid?" Cody asks.

"Hey commander, name's Aris, I'm basically like the captain's secret trainee," I say, casting a quick glance at Rex, who puts a hand to his forehead and groans.

"I never thought Rex would personally train a kid like you," Cody says. "Where'd he find you?"

"We-we can explain that later, let's just get this inspection over with first," Rex says hastily.

"Just don't get in the way, alright kid?" Rex asks, not waiting for a reply and walking out of the ship with Cody. I follow behind them.

They're busy complaining about having no deck officers on duty here at the outpost, and that the clones here are sloppy. I don't think they are. Something feels off. I can see faint lights coming from behind the boxes, and I don't really think that's normal. I quicken my pace and move closer to Rex.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Cody says as the door to the outpost opens and a clone walks out.

"Welcome to Rishi, commander. As you can see, the outpost is operating at peak efficiency. Thank you for visiting, and have a safe trip back," the clone says, with some weird-ass hand movements. Something's definitely off, and both Rex and Cody glance at each other.

"We need to inspect the base just the same," Cody says.

"Uh, there is no need," the clone says. "Everything is fine and fully operational."

I pull at Rex's arm. Rex nods back at me.

"Take us to the sergeant in command," Rex says.

"Roger roger."

Rex and Cody look at each other, and I'm slightly confused. Suddenly, I see a flare rising up behind us.

It's a droid attack flare, I was just taught that a few days ago.

"A droid attack flare," Cody and I say at the same time. Rex shoots that clone in the head, and he falls to the ground.

"Woah, Rex, what the heck are you doing?" Cody sounds alarmed.

I don't say anything as Rex goes to inspect the body.

"Relax," Rex says as he takes the helmet of the clone, revealing a lifeless commando droid under the helmet. "Looks like one of those new commando droids."

"That flare must have come from the survivors," Cody says.

Suddenly, blaster shots come from all directions and Rex and Cody start firing.

"Get behind me kid," Rex says as he dodges a blaster bolt. I don't protest, staying as close to Rex as I can. Just the sound of blaster bolts whizzing over my head is enough to make my blood run cold. It's not the same as in training. If I get shot here, I will most likely die.

Some of the commando droids are using the boxes to shoot from the high ground. Cody manages to get a few shots on one of them, but they just get back up again.

"Those clankers have tough armor," Cody exclaims. 

I run as fast as I can behind a box to take cover, covering my ears and closing my eyes tightly, curling up into a ball. I can almost feel the shot on my shoulder again. My breathing quickens.  Rex and Cody go to take cover where I am.

"We're cut off," Cody says, he and Rex keep firing at the droids. His voice sounds muffled in my head.

"Get me outta here...get me outta here..." I whisper to myself, pressing my knees to my forehead.

And then I hear the sound of grenades landing near our area and Rex grabs my arm, shoots a grappling hook to the platform and lowers us down to the ground. Cody's next to us as I hear an explosion.

When my feet touch the ground, I lean against a rock to stabilize myself, my legs are shaking, my shoulders are tensed, I just stare straight ahead, breathing heavily.

"Kid, are you okay?" Rex puts a hand on my shoulder. "Are you hurt or anything?"

I look down at the ground, avoiding eye contact. 

"Aris? Look at me. Are you okay?"

I look up at Rex. "I shouldn't have come."

"Yea, you shouldn't have. But you're here now, and you're still alive, so I'd count that as a win," Rex smirks.

I nod, trying to slow my breathing down, my shoulders relaxing slightly. 

"This is just like training, okay? Don't worry about it."

Rex turns to Cody. "Well this sure complicates things, Commander. No worse than that time on Tibrin."

"We had jedi with us on Tibrin," Cody says as we stare at the flaming wreckage of the ship. "They helped."

"What...happened on Tibrin?" I speak up in a small voice.

"Not now kid," Cody snaps, and I go quiet again.

3 clones walk towards us through the smoke of the wreckage, and Rex and Cody raise their blasters at them. "Hands above you heads. Take your sun bonnets off."

I think he means helmets. But seriously? Sun bonnets? You couldn't come up with something better?

My hand reaches for the pistol at my belt as I stand behind Rex and Cody, wondering if I should follow them and point my gun at the clones.

"Uh, sir?" One of the clones sounds confused.

"Take them off. Now!"

The clones raise their hands in surrender, take their helmets off, and they're not droids.

Suddenly, an really big eel-like thing crashes through the rocks at our side and roars at us. I stand there frozen while Rex shoots the thing and kills it in one shot.

Rex takes off his helmet and goes to check whether the eel is dead. 

"Nice shot," one of the clones says.

I back away from the eel's body but behind me is darkness and I don't wanna get ambushed by any more droids, so I just stay close.

"The name's Rex," Rex says as he checks the eel's body. "But you'll call me "Captain" or "sir"."

"Sir, yes sir!"

I really don't wanna talk to Rex when he's like this. I have a slight fear or superior authoritative figures.

"I'm commander Cody, your new boss," Cody says as he takes off his helmet.

I smile awkwardly and wave at the 3 clones. "Hi..." 

They ignore me. 

"My designation is trooper 27-5555, sir," one of the clones says. 

"We call him Fives. I'm Hevy. This is Echo." Hevy points to the last dude.

"Where's your sergeant?" Cody asks.

"Dead, sir. We're all that's left," Echo says.

"Looks like we got a batch of shinies, commander," Rex says as he walks up to the clones.

"Shinies, sir?"

"That's right. Your armour, it's shiny and new, just like you," Rex says.

At least they have armour.

"Sir, me and my batchers are trained and ready. We'll take back our post, shiny or not."

"There's hope for you yet, rookie," Rex says.

"Hey kid. You're not supposed to be here. It's dangerous."

I look up, Hevy's talking to me.

"I know, I was following the captain along without his permission, cause I thought I could get some experience here, but..." I look down, my voice is soft.

"It's scarier than you thought it would be?" Echo asks.

I nod. "I wanna go back."

"Well, you can't get everything you want, kid. And if you're looking for some experience, you're sure gonna get a lot of it here," Hevy says. "What's your name?"

"Aris."

"Like the leader of the 504th Legion?" Fives asks.

"Rex named me after her."

"You look like a clone. Are you?" Echo asks.

"Mhm. Female clone. Wasn't meant to exist, but here I am. Made to be physically weaker than the others." I chuckle, looking down. "But I'm definitely not weaker. I'm equal to them."

"Alright boys, keep quiet and follow me," Rex says, before starting to climb up a ledge. 

The others all follow, and I'm at the back. 

Okay. You can do this. Just like training.

I take a deep breath and start climbing.

Don't look down, don't look down, there's no harness, just don't look down and don't fall or you're gonna become a piece of roti prata and die-

I cling onto the rock that I'm climbing on tightly, and I make the mistake of looking down. My whole body tenses up, and I draw a few quick breaths before looking back up again. I can feel the sweat running down my face. My arms are shaking. All I can hear is my heartbeat now.

After what seems like forever, we make it up to the top of the ledge, and Hevy helps me up. My breaths are shaky as I wipe the sweat off my face.

"Look sharp, rookies," Rex says. "As long as those tweezers occupy this post, our home planet of Kamino is at risk."

I look up. Kamino? 99's still there, isn't he?

"But there's so many of them," Hevy says.

"Doesn't matter, kid. We have to retake this base, so we will retake this base."

"How do you propose we get through those blast doors, Rex, old boy?" Cody asks.

"I have a few ideas."

I gently tug at Rex's arm.

"What is it, kid?" Rex asks, turning to face me.

"Can I...sit this one out, sir?"

"Look kid. We need all troopers for this. Including you."

"I don't wanna go. I don't wanna die. I'm scared."

Rex puts both hands on my shoulders. "You're not gonna die kid. You'll be fine. What happened to getting experience, hm?" He playfully punches my shoulder. "You'll be okay. I promise. Just remember your training, okay?"

I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. It's not working, but I don't show it, and I nod. 

We reach the front blast doors of the outpost and Cody and the others hide at the sides, so I follow them, pistol in one hand and my vibrosword in the other.

Rex walks up to the front door.

"Unit 2-6, is that you?" the commando droids in the outpost ask. 

"Roger roger," Rex says.

"You sound strange. Is something wrong with your vocabulator?"

"Roger roger."

"Take off your helmet. Let me see your faceplate."

"Roger roger."

Rex ducks and uses the commando droid's head from just now and shows it to the camera.

"This is never gonna work," Cody puts a hand to his helmet.

The blast doors open and Rex holds up his pistol.

"Clones!"

"Roger, Roger."

Rex takes out the droid in the middle and the others take out the remaining 2.

"Right, let's move."

The others run into the main room and take cover at the sides, shooting at the droids. I stay behind and take cover from the main hallway, not looking behind me. I can see blaster bolts whizzing past me, but they're not going to hit me.

I hear Fives getting shot and Cody telling them to focus. I look back and see Rex in the main room, where a commando droid is trying to melee him.

I draw my vibrosword and run into the main room as Rex dodges the swings of the droid, and I slice the droid in half from behind. The others take out the last 2 remaining droids and the room is clear.

"Thanks kid," Rex gives me a downwards nod of respect.

I sling my sword back onto my back and lean against a wall at the side while the others roast the droids that they just shot down.

"Get to the window. It looks like we have more visitors," Cody says.

We all run to the window and look outside.

"It looks like a separatist fleet."

"That's why the commandeered the outpost," Cody says. "They're mounting a full-scale invasion."

"We have to warn command," Rex says.

"Shouldn't we hide? If they're gonna mount a full-scale invasion we don't stand a chance," I speak up, and everyone stares at me. "What? I'm telling the truth."

One of the clones goes to try and transmit a signal. 

"Those clankers sabotaged our transmitter, and they hard-wired the all-clear signal. It'll take time to-"

"We don't have time. Look."

A ship is descending in front of the outpost.

"Guys we really should go," I'm making my way towards the vent, ready to run.

"Well kid, you're gonna get a lot of experience from here," Echo says.

"We can't protect the outpost long against that army of clankers," Cody says.

"Then we'll destroy the outpost instead," Rex says.

"But sir, our mission is to defend this facility at all costs."

"We have to warn the Republic about the invasion. They'll take notice when the all-clear signal stops."

"That's right. When they stop receiving our beacon, they'll get the message something's wrong," Fives says.

"We'll need every thermal detonator in the inventory," Rex says.

I slowly open up the vent cover, ready to slip inside.

"It'll take more than a few detonators to destroy the outpost."

Then someone suggests an idea to blow up the outpost using liquid tibanna.

"Good. Bring the tanks here and prime the detonators," Rex orders.

Just as I'm about to slip into the vent and run away, Rex notices me.

"Hey kid, don't think about going anywhere."

I freeze, looking up at him.

"I have no interest in dying today," I reply. 

"I thought you weren't weak?"

So I help the boys carry the explosives to the main room as I hear the battle droids marching towards the front gate.

When we manage to get it all to the main room, Rex and the others gather around, and I stand behind Fives, Echo and Hevy.

"Alright listen up. There's only one target of interest in this sector: Kamino. It's the closest thing we clones have to a home. Today we fight for more than the Republic. Today we fight for all our brothers back home. Understood?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Rex looks at me.

I take a deep breath and steel myself for the high possibility of dying. "Sir, yes, sir." 

We head into the weapons room where the others take their weapons. My hand rests on my pistol, and the other on my vibrosword. I turn to Rex, who's making his way to the main room. He nods at me.

I can feel my heart in my throat now, and it must have been pretty obvious to Cody, because he puts a hand on my shoulder and says,"We're gonna survive this kid. Trust me.

Hevy goes to the front and takes out a bunch of battle droids with that gatling gun of his, and then Cody, me and the others come in. 

I shoot at the droids with my pistol and blaster bolts narrowly miss me, and everything's going so fast, I can't comprehend what's going on.

One of the clones throws a grenade at the battle droids, knocking most of them off the platform while the rest of us fall back, closing the blast doors.

They get blown up from outside and the battle droids enter, still shooting at us, and I run into the main room, with the others following behind after a few moments.

I hear Rex say that the handset wasn't linking up with the detonator, and Hevy says he'll handle it, telling us to get out of here.

We run to the vents and crawl through them, with Rex leading the way. We reach the outside in a few minutes, hiding behind a ridge.

"Hevy, hit the-" Rex looks behind, and Hevy isn't there.

"Where's Hevy?"

Echo and Fives shake their heads.

Rex talks into his comlink. "Hevy, get out of there."

"The remote isn't working," Hevy reports. "I have to detonate it manually."

I move to run back into the vents and try to make it back to the outpost, the others follow me. I'm running as fast as I can, and crawl into the vents, trying to make it back.

I hear the others trying to contact Hevy, but they're not in the vents yet. I gotta get there.

And then I hear the sound of explosions and debris falling, the vents shake, and I curl up into a ball, covering my head.

When the shaking stops, I open my eyes, and I see Rex pulling me out of the vents.

"You okay kid?" Rex asks.

I nod, staying close to him as we head back to the others.

Hevy's gone.

"We've got those tinnies on the run," either Fives or Echo says, I can't really tell. 

"Thanks to Hevy."

I hear the sound of gunships descending.

"We're getting of this crater boys," Rex says.

We all get on the gunships, and I remain silent for the whole trip back to the cruiser.

Fives and Echo are getting some random award thing from General Skywalker, and Rex says he's considering adding them to the 501st. I head back to the barracks and just chill there for awhile, thinking about everything that's just happened. It all feels so fast.

About an hour later, Rex comes in.

"Hey kid, how're you doing?"

I remain silent.

Rex sits down next to me.

"Yknow if it wasn't for Hevy, we wouldn't be here right now," he says.

I nod, staring up at the ceiling. "I shouldn't have come."

"Yea, it's a lot more different than training, isn't it?"

"It's so...scary, my mind just goes blank, and I forget everything I learned during training. Being a soldier's hard."

"The first few battles are always like that, but...you'll get used to it."

"I'm not gonna be in another battle. I'll just stay on Coruscant and continue training. That's what you want, right?"

"Hm. I could let you come on some of the less dangerous battles, how about that?"

I hesitate. I can almost imagine the sickening feeling in my stomach when the outpost blew up, when I realised that Hevy was gone. I can almost feel my heart pounding in my head every time I see live fire whizzing past my head, when I narrowly miss death by an inch.

I sit up and look at Rex.

"I don't wanna go."

Rex looks at me, confused. "What?"

"I'm done with being in battles. I'm not going to fight out there in the field anymore. I'm done. I'm leaving."

Rex sighs. "Look, ad'ika-"

Fives and Echo come into the barracks. 

"Hey kid, how're you doing?" Echo asks. "You were pretty good out there with your knife and your pistol."

I look up at him.

"I know what you're thinking, kid. You wanna leave after your first skirmish, and to be honest, I can't argue with that. It's a hard life, being a soldier."

I nod.

"But we're fighting for the Republic, for a cause that we believe in. Out there, we gotta be strong, we can't show weakness, and we show those clankers what we're made of, got it?"

I nod again, and Echo and Fives walk away.

Can't show weakness. They always said I was made to be weaker than the others. Gotta prove them wrong.

I turn to Rex.

"Maybe I'll take a few weeks on Coruscant to train and prepare myself, and then maybe I'll consider coming along on those less dangerous battles."

Rex smiles, and nods. "Okay then ad'ika, we've got a ship leaving for Coruscant in a few hours, and I'll see you in a few weeks."

"What does ad'ika mean?" I ask.

"You already know, kid. All clones do."

I roll my eyes. "Fine. Cya, captain."

Rex groans.

"And for the last time, DON'T CALL ME THAT!"