Curate, connect, and discover
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 good lord why have i stretched this one concept out for so long skdflskj || part 8
allison thinks — nay, knows — that neil josten is just the cutest human being alive. certainly a badass. very threatening. will bite when provoked.
but still very cute. adorable. squish, if you will.
(also, have you seen those eyes??)
she likes to believe she is the mother hen of the newborn chick — the startled bambi — that is neil josten
and so, as an experienced, highly intellectual person, she... questions neil's taste in men
allison worries that andrew is just stringing neil along, ready to drop him whenever he pleases
(renee insists this is not the case, but what does renee know?)
anyways, allison concludes that andrew must be put to the test to confirm that he is good enough for her precious (and slightly rude) child
now, allison isn't one to perpetuate stereotypes, but andrew is a well-dressed gay man with plenty of experience in dressing up neil nicely
and, as the self-crowned queen of fashion, she knows that clothes can tell a lot about an individual
(for example, her clothes are wonderful, which means that she is flawless)
so allison decides that going clothes shopping with andreil (she cannot thank nicky enough for coming up with that ship name) is the only way to truly see if andrew is good enough for neil
so she plans. and one thursday evening, she corners andrew and neil and tells them what's going down
"neil. you and your boy— " "he's not my boy" "you and your boy will join me this saturday to go shopping at the mall. any questions?" "yes, actually— " "great, i'll see you then!"
to her surprise, andrew actually shows up with neil on saturday, twirling his car keys with a bored expression
"minyard. you are not driving"
"alright then. neil, let's go back to to bed"
"okay okay fine you can drive"
allison, with great dignity, regales herself to backseat passenger. at least this way she has a perfect view of the heart eyes transpiring between andrew and neil
(and if she sneaks in a couple of pictures of them — well, no one needs to know)
they finally reach the mall and allison is ready to start her sneaky observations
first: she spots a cute pink sweater in an egregiously bright shop window and drags neil inside, checking conspicuously if andrew follows him
he does
pleased, allison browses through the store, plucking the sweater she originally saw to try on later
after a little more looking, she emerges from the dressing room to show off the sweater to neil
"well neil? how do i look?"
"oh uh. pretty? andrew, how does she look?"
andrew sweeps an impassive gaze over her and promptly turns around without a word
allison is outraged. how dare he simply ignore neil! does he not think neil is important enough to respond to? does he not care at all? how can he just— oh
andrew returns with a pale blue sweater she had seemingly missed and throws it at her face
she goes back in to try it with a huff. surprisingly (and annoyingly), this one looks even better than the pink one did
she buys the blue one. but andrew's still on thin fucking ice
second: after the sweater fiasco, she leads andreil over to a shoe store. allison * very deliberately * walks through the men's footwear, hoping andrew will take notice of something he likes there for neil, before making her way to the women's section
she tries on a few sandals, showing them off to neil, and andrew wanders off in the middle of her runway strut
(she can't understand why. he might be gay, but surely he can still appreciate her legs, right?)
her questions are answered after andrew emerges from an aisle carrying a navy blue box, placing it in front of neil
neil stares at it. andrew kicks him in the shin
"oh am i supposed to wear it?"
andrew rolls his eyes and bends down, switching neil's old sneakers for a new pair of running shoes he found
allison nearly coos at the sight of the terrifying andrew minyard tying his boyfriend's shoelaces with such a focused look
neil loves the shoes. allison buys them for him. and maybe she approves of andrew just a little bit more
third: after a few more stores, allison is at the final stop of her experiment — clothes shopping for neil
she spends an agonizingly long hour searching for clothes neil might actually wear, but when she goes to give it to him, he's nowhere to be found
frantically, she combs through the store again, already thinking of private investigators to hire to find him
suddenly, allison spots his bright hair against the wall in the far corner of the store
she races over there, ready to give neil a piece of her mind for worrying her, until she sees what he's up to
he's kissing andrew. but it's not heavy making-out, it's not anything too explicit. it's just very adorable kissing
(allison has to bite back a laugh when she notices that andrew has to go on his toes to reach neil)
she goes to pull out her phone, but the clothes in her hand rustle, causing neil to glance her way
he winces at the massive pile of clothes, but presses a kiss to andrew's lips, then nose, before gingerly taking the clothes to try on
allison squints at andrew upon seeing the nose kiss. he scowls at her and promptly walks away in the direction neil left to
allison considers the sight she just saw. surely andrew wouldn't be willing to be so openly soft if he was just playing neil, right? right.
(damn, maybe renee did know some things after all)
allison gives a pleased smile — maybe andrew really is okay for neil — before suddenly remembering the bet that she's probably going to lose soon
but she doesn't mind losing some money anymore; she has plenty of it
all allison wants is for neil to be happy. and if andrew brings him happiness— well, she doesn't really understand neil's taste, but she supports it anyway
fuck. when did she get so soft?