Thisssss - Blog Posts

starting a new series that you’re looking forward to VS the comfort of revisiting your fav series is always something i have to battle with. there’s just too many things i want to watch and read…TOO MANY AMAZING SERIES THAT I ALREADY LOVE AND ONES I NEED TO DISCOVER!

Ever since Merlin was a small child, Hunith had always bombarded him with loving touches. She carried him whenever she could, and when he grew too big to be carried, she left him with warm hugs and soft touches on his cheeks. She wiped his tears when he cried, and intertwined their fingers on cold nights as they slept.

Arthur, on the other hand, could not remember the last time he was touched by his father in any way other than a firm clasp on the shoulder. All his life, he's known nothing but side glances and firm remarks. No one was there to wipe his tears away when he cried, and certainly no one was there to hold him on cold nights as he slept.

He was the prince of Camelot, after all, and everyone knew that princes cannot be soft.

Which was why, the first time that Merlin went in for a hug, Arthur immediately flinched back.

They stood in silence for a few moments before Arthur left, unable to stand the tension in the air. Not thinking much about it, he had rendered it just another one of those awkward little moments with Merlin that would soon dissipate from his memory.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Arthur found himself unable to move on from it. He spent that night turning in his bed, wondering what it would've been like if he accepted Merlin's hug - The warmth and comfort that he had only ever seen given to others. He fell asleep wondering what it would feel like to be embraced by another.

Merlin doesn't do it again, at least not for a while. It was understandable, especially after Arthur reacted so drastically at his first attempt at closeness, but Arthur still couldn't help but spend another few sleepless nights regretting his reaction.

Because he was the prince of Camelot, and if Merlin - irresponsible, reckless, sarcastic Merlin - wasn't willing to touch him, then no one was.

So when the second time came - when Merlin, most likely without thinking ("when does he ever think?"), went in for a hug, Arthur hugged back.

He wrapped Merlin in his arms, and oh, it was bliss. The warmth and the comfort and the closeness that he had heard so much about were all real. He couldn't help but tighten his arms around the other boy's thin body and lean in, rendered helpless by a sense of aching intimacy.

Questions immediately appeared in Arthur's mind: How had he survived up until then without touches like these? If Merlin had never been assigned as his manservant, would he have gone his whole life without experiencing this? And now that he's finally experienced this, how could he go without it for the rest of his life?

The thought pained Arthur, so he squeezed even harder.

They didn't talk about it afterwards, but Arthur knew that Merlin knew. Arthur had exposed the softness underneath his hard exterior, and now Merlin knew.

And lord, was it great.

Their previously rare touches turned more and more common. Soon, putting on Armour turned into lingering touches on Arthur's body, and training sessions turned into Merlin haphazardly wiping the sweat from Arthur's forehead as he leaned into the cooling touch on his skin.

It was like Arthur's mind was trying to reclaim all touches lost to the years. He craved skin - Merlin's skin - on his. He craved the way Merlin's fingers ran over his muscles. He craved these moments of intimacy where he wasn't Arthur Pendragon, the prince of Camelot, and he was just Arthur.

And as he was still human (despite how hard he tried), there were times when he wept.

Except it was not like the lonely nights that he suffered through as a child - There was no ache in his chest as tears ran down his cheeks. No biting the collar of his shirt as he attempted to stay quiet. No harsh words in an attempt to keep him silent.

There were, in their place, gentle caresses to his forehead as Merlin smoothed back his hair, murmuring words of comfort under his breath. A warm shoulder to lean on as he cried quietly. Thumbs that wiped under his lashes and nimble fingers that caressed his cheeks until they both fell asleep.

And what a joy it was, to have someone who wiped his tears away when he cried, and someone to hold him on cold nights as he slept. To be touched and held and loved.

What a joy Merlin was.

Just finished Editor's Note.

Kindly,

Fuck you.

No, not kindly. You are entirely at fault.

For everything.

I have never in my life felt an emotion so strongly, one that I cannot place. The best way I could describe it, is an eagerness so tense I cannot move without letting everything out in a half-scream groan of resolution.

It's as if I am crying without tears or the rock in my throat that won't let me speak... thank you.

And thank you for the immense inspiration and elation I have for my own writing after reading this.

Now to read your Kravitz/Taako fics, I'm so excited.

this is so gratifying omg 🥺 thank you so much for reading, sorry for the not-rock in your throat 💛

I don’t think anyone talks enough about how Sebastian is a crappy older brother to Maru like I get you have issues but she did nothing but be born

[ Image Description: Stardew Valley screenshots of Maru saying, "Sebastian hardly ever talks to me. I wonder if he even likes me at all? It's sad. I want to have a brother but he doesn't act like one." End ID. ]

Stop judging fic writers for not having perfect spelling and grammar

We write fic for fun, it's for us, we do it as a hobby in our free time.

We're not obligated to edit to an extreme and perfect our spelling and grammar

For some fic writers, English isn't our first language or we're not fluent in it (oh and there are of course the fic writers who don't write in English at all)

We may not have time to edit a fic, especially if we're pressured to it posted by a certain time

If we're posting a short drabble that doesn't even reach 1-2k, hell even if it does reach 1-2k, we may not see a reason to edit it

But people writing longer fics and even multiple chapters aren't obligated to perfect their grammar and spelling either. Most likely we'll revise once, we're not going to through like 5-6 different revisions for a fanfic that we're just having fun with

Fun fact: editing is a bit of a nightmare, especially if English isn't your first language (do not get me started on fic writers who translate their fics from their mother language into English). Rigorously editing can make fic writing less fun if we feel like we have to perfectly edit it each and every time, and writing is for fun, we're supposed to enjoy it (to fellow fic writers: if editing drains you or you feel the need for your grammar to be perfect, it doesn't have to be. Focus more on the writing (the fun part) than you do the editing)

Fic writers aren't bad writers if their spelling and grammar isn't perfect