Curate, connect, and discover
*GIF not mine*
Summary: A very drunk Anakin has some very sober thoughts for you to hear.
A/N: Anakin is hot, that’s all I gotta say. Enjoy!
Word count: 2128
“YNNNN!”
The wail of your name roused you from your slumber, followed by a loud crash outside your dorm.
“Ow.”
The sun hadn’t risen outside your window, and darkness still shrouded your room aside from a small glow exuding from your alarm clock. 2:37 AM, it read.
Who in the goddamn fuck-
“YN open up!” Loud knocks sounded outside your room, but not on your door.
Uh oh.
You scrambled from your bed, cursing under your breath as the night air nipped at your skin. Snagging your Jedi robe hanging from the wall near your door, you shrugged on the warmer layers and hugged them close around your body, which had only previously been clad in undergarments.
You couldn’t press the button to open the door fast enough, but by the time it had, you were too late.
Obi-Wan stood with a brow raised in his own doorway, obviously unimpressed with the figure before him. And, clad in his usual getup of dark robes, leather boots, and tousled hair, stood Anakin Skywalker in complete disarray. His robe, already worn inside-out, slouched off one of his shoulders. Parts of his hair were knotted and tangled, matted down and stuck to his head with sweat. As he stared in utter confusion at his former master, his entire body swayed from side-to-side.
He was totally shitfaced.
“Master?” he hiccuped. “What are you doing in YN’s room?” There was a slur to his words, one you hadn’t caught when he was shouting for the entire Jedi dorm to hear.
Obi-Wan, shockingly impassive, drew his gaze to you, a single brow raised. You hadn’t realized your hand had come up to muffle a snicker until Anakin almost toppled over. You jumped up from your position across the hall as his body leaned too far to one side, but thankfully Obi-Wan reached out a hand to steady him before you could.
Then Anakin smacked his hand away. “I said, what are you doing in YN’s room?” His tone was angry, filled with betrayal. His hand went to his hip, where his lightsaber was latched, and that was when Obi-Wan lost his patience.
Staring past Anakin and at you, he nodded toward the Jedi Knight. “I believe this is yours.” With that, he retreated to his room, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath.
You stood with pursed lips, waiting and watching as the wheels in Anakin’s head turned, trying to comprehend Obi-Wan’s words. Finally, he turned around in utter disorientation, only to straighten up like a pleased puppy at the sight of you.
“YN!” he shouted much louder than necessary. He reached out, making his way towards you only for the sudden movements to give him whiplash as he stumbled to the right, completely miscalculating your location as he crashed face-first into the wall beside your dorm.
You cringed, sucking in a breath through your teeth before going to his aid. “You okay?” you asked gently, grabbing an arm and guiding him into your room.
“Yeah,” he choked out, rubbing his nose. “That hurt.”
“I’m sure,” you cooed, rubbing up and down his arm comfortingly as you led him to a seat on your bed. “Stay here.”
“Wait,” he snapped to attention as his metal arm snagged yours, grip tight but not enough to leave a mark, “where are you going?” His eyes were wide and nervous as they danced around your face. He seemed scared you were going to disappear forever once you left right now.
“I’m just gonna get you a glass of water,” you soothed, unlatching his hand from your wrist. His gaze fell to the action, and his grip tightened just a bit before he let go completely with a furrow of his brows.
“But I have to tell you something.”
“I figured,” you chuckle, “but I’ll be quick.” Escaping out of your room and down the hall, you left with the feeling of Anakin’s despairing eyes still latched onto you. You slipped into the bathroom, filling the cup with tap water as you gazed at yourself in the mirror. Eyes bloodshot from being woken up, your hair a rat’s nest on the top of your head, and a small drop of drool on the corner of your mouth-ew! You yanked the cup out from under the stream where it had been overflowing and set it on the counter before scrubbing your face. The cold was a shock to your system, less-so than Anakin’s being drunk outside your room at two a.m., but still did the trick to remind you that this wasn’t a dream, and that, yes, a very drunk–yet somehow still very attractive–Anakin had been calling your name and searching for you.
It didn’t help that you’d had a crush on him ever since you’d met as young padawans and he’d arrogantly introduced himself as the Chosen One. It really didn’t help at all.
With a couple of smacks to your cheeks, you finally had the courage to return to your room, leaving the bathroom and immediately crashing into a solid chest.
Anakin, you realized, glancing up for reassurance. He looked distraught, eyes wild and unfocused as he towered over you.
You were surprised you hadn’t heard him coming, considering he was barely in a state to walk a straight line much less make it down the hall and around the corner. Well, you thought, somehow he made it back to the Jedi temple from whatever bar he came from alive, surely this wasn’t as difficult.
Until you realized his hand was stationed against the wall for support as he swayed.
Scratch that–how the hell is he even alive?
“Anakin,” you stressed, “what are you doing? I told you to wait.” Like a lost puppy, you led him back to your room, the skin of his forearm much too hot underneath his robes.
“You took so long, I got nervous.” And yet the only one who seemed nervous as you arrived back in your room was you. Anakin, on the other hand, locked his eyes reverently on your form as you returned him to his place on your bed, watching you with an unfamiliar look in his eyes as you handed him the glass and told him to drink, to flush out the obvious abundance of alcohol in his system.
At your command, he downed the glass of water in seconds, swallowing and licking his lips. You forced your gaze away from the action when you realized you were staring too long afterwards. Yet, even as muddled as he was, he still noticed, still smirked like he always did.
For so many years you figured you were hiding your crush so well, thought he was just the type of guy to smirk at everyone for such things. It wasn’t until he had gotten a padawan of his own, gotten an army of his own, that you realized the way he acted around you alone was different.
Even as smashed as he was, he still made you feel as though you were acting the fool. Like he was teasing you–how embarrassing.
Shame colored your face as you spun around, searching for something to do as a drunk Anakin lounged on your bed.
“YN?”
“Hmm?” You still faced away, searching the room for anything else to do but stare at the sight on your bed. That is, until a hand latched around yours, yanking you around hard enough that you almost fell over. The force of the pull landed you straight between Anakin’s knees, his hand still on yours while the other stabled you at your hip. Your hand had instinctively gripped his shoulder, but you stole it away quickly.
Nonetheless, he stared at you, positioned in front of him. For a minute, that’s all he did. Stare and stare, eyes locked on yours as the smirk on his face carefully transformed into a dropped jaw. He looked at you like… you didn’t really know how to describe it.
Like… like you were the one who hung the stars in the sky, who placed planets in orbit. Like you were the cause of the glow of the sun, like you shifted the tides using the moon. Like you were worth worship, worth praise, worth the doting look that took over his face.
A shiver crawled over your skin the more he looked at you; you’d barely noticed his hand had taken to slipping past your robes and connecting with the bare skin of your side, metal thumb caressing the skin. The other was still latched on your wrist like he never wanted to let go. Distantly, you wondered if it would leave a bruise.
A heavy silence fell over the room, just you waiting in anticipation as Anakin lost his focus, face flushed with besottedness. For once, you didn’t feel like he had the upper hand over your feelings. For once, it appeared you controlled his.
“YN.” He mumbled your name almost subconsciously, like it had slipped out without his knowing.
“What?” Softly, carefully, you urged him for more. In response, his eyes locked on your lips, running his tongue over his own involuntarily. His face, so dazed, so infatuated, so lost, finally seemed to have come to grips with his purpose for that moment.
“I’m in love with you.”
For a second, you felt nothing. You said nothing. No reaction, no response. Nothing. You didn’t even breathe.
For years you’d dreamt of… well, not exactly this moment, but something akin to it. Anakin professing his feelings, appearing absolutely infatuated with you. His handsome face glowing with joy as you returned the sentiment. His hands steadily, assuredly cupping your face and guiding your lips to his.
Like in your dreams, your chest was so trembly and shaky, so completely and utterly in disbelief that the man you’d been in love with for years was completely infatuated with you. Your hands shake and breaths escape you in pants as though you’d ran miles just moments prior. Your heart was pounding hard, trying to escape and your mind grew blankly overwhelmed.
Anakin, having spent the last few seconds with zero response from your end, was visibly unnerved. He searched your face for any reaction, any clue into what you were feeling. Finding nothing, he looked lost, scared, and dejected.
Long ago had he sobered up, but the alcohol was still in his system as he staggered to his feet, not largely taller than you but his overall form still being a formidable sight. You’d been forced to lift your head as he rose, following his movements. A waft of alcohol infiltrated your nose.
The hand previously on your side rose to your face, cupping your rosy cheek. A cold thumb caressed your cheekbone for just a moment as he took in your face as though for the last time. Then he shook his head in what you could only interpret as anguish. “I’m in love with you,” he repeated, this time less shy. “For so many years, I have been. And I thought you felt the same, but I see now that I am wrong.”
You open your mouth to question him, but he continues. “I’m sorry for bothering you tonight.” A sad, forced smile encompasses his face. “Let’s forget this ever happened. Goodnight, YN.”
Your chest grew filled with guilt and regret and pity for making him think this way. And when his hand moved to drop from your face, you drew up your own to prevent it. Your face, you were sure, was filled with too many emotions to interpret–confusion, for doubt that this was real; joy, for happiness that the man you loved returned your feelings; amazement, for sheer question of how you had come to be this lucky.
But a flicker of hope struck his eyes at your action, and so he stayed put, waiting dutifully for your response.
Like your dreams, his lips were soft. Like your dreams, he eagerly responded, pulled you in, close and tight, like he would never let you go; he swore himself to you, would do anything for you, would follow you anywhere.
Like your dreams, you worried for the Jedi Council’s discovery of your love, and Anakin kissed your worries away.
Just leave it to me, he said the next morning, his arms tight around your form, his ruffled hair glowing like a halo in the morning sun. His bare skin was hot against yours. I’ll handle it. We can be together, and they won’t be able to stop us.
Like your dreams, you trusted him.
— YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME
PAIRING — Anakin Skywalker // suitless!Darth Vader x fem!Gray Jedi!Reader
SUMMARY — You were Anakin’s childhood friend but you left the Jedi Order and him behind to walk your own path. Despite that, he’s determined to protect you from danger but what he doesn’t realise is that he might be the threat himself.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — I’m a Star Wars fan for 20 years now but I have never published any fics written for this universe so I’m kind of nervous anyway… 🙈 Padmé doesn’t exist in this one, I guess, therefore Obi–Wan didn’t get to destroy our boy Ani on Mustafar. I’m not sure, to be honest, can Reader be called a Gray Jedi but I think it suits her the most. 💗
WARNINGS — dark themes, Force choke™, open ending
WORD COUNT — 2,400
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
Weiterlesen
Index:
wc: 2.3k
warnings: cursing
Being the leader of the new Rebellion against the evil Galactic Empire had its perks. One of the things that was not a perk, however, was hiding one’s actual name from their people, and past.
None of Y/n’s rebels knew of her past as a former Jedi Knight that fought in the Clone Wars. Though she fought like a cunning warrior, the thought had never once crossed their minds, seeing as all the Jedi were dead.
She had raised her children Luke and Leia with Obi-Wan’s guidance to be trained as Jedi, seeing as both of them were very Force-Sensitive.
Watching Luke wield his father’s lightsaber brought such bittersweet feelings to both old Jedi Knights. Anakin was such a big part of both of their lives, that it was almost painful to see this without him there.
Anakin would be beyond proud of his son and daughter, for sure.
Y/n recalled the first time he and Leia held their lightsabers. They were both 9, the same age their Father was when he was brought him by Qui-Gon Jyn from Tattooine.
Luke had rushed up to Obi’s old trunk excitedly, admiring the strange silver object with big eyes as Leia crowded behind him, “What’s that, Uncle Obi?”
“This is your father’s lightsaber, my dear. He would’ve wanted you to have it,” Obi replied, a sad smile on his face as he held onto the hilt, activating its stellar blue glow.
“This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster—“ Obi handed it to Luke and his eyes widened, waving it around gently so he didn’t break it. “—an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.”
“Is it mine?” Luke’s eyes beamed in excitement. Obi-Wan nodded, sitting down as he picked up Leia, putting her on his knee.
“For over a thousand generations, the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice. The old republic. Before the Empire...” he trailed off, turning his head towards the window.
Y/n rushed into the room, hearing the lightsaber and fearing there was an intruder, “Obi-Wan! What’s going on, I’m—“ she ignited her brilliant (l/c) saber, holding it in a protective stance before she realized it was just Luke. She sighed heavily and disengaged her saber, attaching it back to her belt loop, “Obi, you didn’t tell me you were doing this now...” she crossed her arms.
“Mom! Obi-Wan told me this was Dad’s! Look!” he started swinging it gently, making sure it didn’t hit anyone since he knew how deadly they could be. She began to smile sadly as she remembered a young Anakin as a padawan, rushing in to show her his lightsaber he constructed the day he finally got one.
She smiled sadly, tears welling up in her eyes. “You look so much like your father, Luke,” she said sadly. Obi looked back at Luke, and for a split moment, he was reminded of the small slave his old master brought back with him. He smiled to himself remembering how he helped Anakin with his padawan braid.
“Princess, come here. I’ll let you hold my lightsaber, okay?” she handed Leia her saber gently, and she took gingerly from her hand. Leia took it and igniting it, the blade’s glow reflecting in her excited little eyes.
“Mom? How did dad die? You never answered me,” Luke asked. Y/n felt herself freeze in place, a large lump in her throat forming. “Luke, I...”
“I’ll tell them, Y/n,” Obi-Wan replied solemnly. “Your father was killed by a young Jedi named Darth Vader. He was a close friend of mine before he fell. He helped the Emperor hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father.” The room fell silent, until Luke asked another question, “So you and Uncle Obi are the last remaining Jedi?”
Obi-Wan shook his head no, “There are others, but sparse. To name a few, Master Yoda and Ahsoka Tano, your father’s Padawan learner. The last remaining Jedi are being hunted down by Vader, which is why we hide.”
Leia spoke up softly, “Is that why we don’t use our actual last name, mommy?”
“Yes, sweetheart. As long as Vader’s reign continues, we must hide our names. Darth Vader does not know about the two of you, so you are safe. For us, on the other hand...” she trailed off, and the kids understood.
“Mom... Mom,” Leia spoke loudly. Y/n blinked in confusion and turned back around, looking at her daughter, “Yeah, my love?”
“Are you okay mom?” Leia asked, frowning. “We need to look at the Death Star plans.”
“Right,” she sighed heavily, turning to face from the window out looking Yavin 4. “I’m fine, princess. I just... was remembering Anakin, that’s all.” Leia sighed and laid her hand on her mother’s back, rubbing it gently, “Dad would be proud of everything you’ve done, mom.” She began to tear up as she pulled Leia into a tight hug, “I hope so. It’s been about 20 years and it still doesn’t feel right,” silent tears fell down her cheeks into her daughter’s bunned hair.
“I’m proud of you, Leia. If you were to be trained within the Order now, you’d be the same age your father was when he became a Jedi Knight, and when he married me...” she sniffled, wiping her tears. Leia smiled softly, holding her mom’s hand, “Do you think he’d be proud of me, too?”
“I know he would,” she rubbed her fingertips against hers, “He would pull you into the tightest hug, spin you a little and say softly, ‘That’s my baby girl,’” she replied, her voice cracking slightly. Leia began to tear up as she hugged her back, “I wish I knew him...” she said softly. “I wish so too, babe, so bad...” Y/n sighed. But I won’t let his memory be in vain. Let’s go look at these plans and destroy that Death Star, yeah?”
Leia and Y/n walked to the main board room, seeing how the map was already up on display. “General Jonas, we’ve been examining the Death Star plans. They’re on screen now,” one of her commanding officers recited. “Good, thank you, officer. Have we discovered a weak point yet? Or at least some form of entry point?”
“No, ma’am. We haven’t studied long enough. There are many ways in, but all most likely heavily guarded. We will have to find a way to go under the radar without getting detected, somehow,” he replied. She nodded, walking closer to examine it. She closed her eyes and felt out through the Force for some answer. No surprise to her, she could barely feel anything at all but an empty void. Ever since Anakin had died, she had felt more distanced from the Force than ever. Maybe she and Anakin possessed a rare Dyad, or maybe she had simply lost touch with the Force; but no matter what she did, she was nowhere near as powerful in the Force as she used to be.
“Alert me if you find anything, Officer, I would love to have this Death Star in shambles by the end of the month,” Y/n left to walk out and to ask Obi-Wan on the matter. “Yes, ma’am,” he responded, turning back to his computer to get back to work.
Elsewhere, Leia was pacing in Luke’s room, grumbling to herself, “I know Obi-Wan has taught us to not let our emotions guide us, but I can’t when it comes to him. He killed our father, he should be dead!” Leia huffed in anger, collapsing down onto her twin’s bed.
Luke grunted in response, his mouth full of food still, “It’s not like you can take him on yourself. You’d die!” he said, or at least, sounded like he said. “I will not let the lives of those lost who got us the plans in the first place’s memories die. We wouldn’t be this close to planning an attack without their sacrifices. Moreover, Mom has had these plans for two days now, and she hasn’t done a single thing about it!” Leia responded quickly. Luke shrugged, “Leia. Be real. It’s not like we can steal a ship and fly to the Death Star, find it’s a weak point, and get back in time for dinner.”
Leia sat up, looking at Luke as if he had just committed mass murder. “...What?” Luke asked warily. Leia grinned, “That’s it! We’ll do just that, Luke! We’ll take one of mom’s ships, fly around the death star undetected and find weak entry points, and get back like we were never even gone!”
“Leia, you can not be serious right now!” Luke gasped, setting his food down, “We can’t do this, we could get in so much trouble! Or spotted!”
“Do you want to sit idly while our mother and uncle do nothing, whereas our Father’s murderer is out on the lose on that moon!” Leia snapped at him. He narrowed his eyes, “That’s no moon, Leia. Also, no, I don’t! But do we have a choice? No. We’re staying here.”
“No, we’re leaving. Whether I go alone is up to you entirely, but at this point, I just want the man who killed my father dead,” Leia said, glaring at him. Luke huffed, “You think I don’t want him dead, too? But we are children, we literally can’t do anything!”
“We are 19 years old and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to sit at home here and wait for Vader to kill more innocent people,” Leia frowned, crossing her arms. “I really need you with me, Luke. But I get it if you don’t go.” she stood up, grabbing her stuff to leave when Luke grumbled “Wait!” under his breath. “I’ll... go. Just to protect you. But this is a bad idea, and I don’t want to get caught,” he raised a brow to her. Leia grinned and hugged Luke tightly, “Thank you, thank you! You won’t regret this! But bring your lightsaber maybe, just in case?”
——————
“What do you mean, YOU LET THEM GO?” Y/n snapped to C3-PO, enraged. Threepio raised his hands in defense, “I couldn’t stop them, mistress! I tried my best, I swear!”
“You let my children go confront Vader ALONE? You’re so lucky I don’t shut you down for that!” she growled, shoving past him with Obi-Wan following close behind her. “Oh, dear. I’m doomed,” Threepio whined.
“We have to go after them, we... I can’t... I can’t lose my kids,” Y/n said nervously, starting to pace once Obi got close. “Y/n, calm down sweetheart. I need you to breathe and think,” Obi said, holding onto her shoulders gently. “If we go, we have an equal chance of being caught since they’ll already be on high alert.”
She sighed heavily, shaking her head, “I hate you for being so levelheaded and smart, Obi,” she frowned. “That’s my specialty,” he winked. “Now, we need to stop and make sure that we can pull this rescue off without risking our lives, too.”
Meanwhile, at the Death Star, Vader was summoned by his leading captain because of an alert of an enemy ship flying nearby. “Bring them in, search them. They may know General Jonas.” “Yes, My Lord.”
Vader turned to leave the bridge towards the docking bay, to meet his guests personally. As he walked, his mind was filled with visions and memories from his dream the night before. Of her.
He sighed heavily, picking up speed as he neared the docking bay. Passing a group of stormtroopers, he pushed past them to be in front, crossing his arms. The door opened, and two stormtroopers walked out holding a young girl and boy, yelling at them to let go of them.
As soon as Vader looked at the two, he felt something... strange. A certain presence in the Force he had never felt before. What is this? Why do they feel familiar?
Vader dropped his arms, walking forward and raising his hand to stop the troopers, “Who are you? And why were you near my Death Star?”
His unmerciful, robotic voice rumbled through their chests, terrifying them. In all their years, they had never seen something so cold and unforgiving. “Don’t be petrified, answer me if you want to live,” Vader challenged, staring right at the boy.
“You killed our father,” Leia’s voice was cold, sad, and broken. She knew this was a bad idea, but it was too late now. “I wanted revenge.”
“You’ll have to forgive me, my princess, but I’ve killed many men. Your father was just another tick on my list, whoever he may be.”
“You son of a—!” Luke yelled, rushing to jump at him when the stormtroopers all turned their weapons on him, making him stop. Vader growled, “Insolent children. I don’t think you know who I am, truly. I’d crush you in a heartbeat, but seeing as you could have something of use to me... take them away, both of them,” Vader commanded. The two shouted in disagreement, and Vader simply stood and watched them struggle.
“You bitch! You’ll pay for what you did to our dad!” Luke yelled as he was taken away. Vader rolled his eyes from under the mask and walked back to his quarters. He knelt on the floor, taking his mask off as he called out to his Emperor through the force.
“What do you want, Lord Vader?” Palpatine growled, looking down at Vader’s hologram. “I felt something through the Force a few moments ago. My new hostages... they seem to be strong with it.”
“Really? Are you sure, my apprentice?”
“Yes, Master. More sure than anything.”
“Well, you know what you must do. Kill them. They could be Jedi if they tried opposing you,” Palpatine smirked. “They’re only children, which means they’re newer Jedi. Someone had to have trained them.”
“Children never stopped you before, don’t let it stop you now. Do it.”
“...Yes, my Master.” Vader ended the holomessage, sighing.
“Who are you two...?” he asked himself, reaching out through the Force and feeling they were still there.
Strange.
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