I Missed My Birthday
I missed my birthday
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//healing scars
Happy birthday you silly goose nd also Juneteenth to my fellow AA’s <33
~ 6/19
I’m on a very silly grind
Ik I haven’t drawn in a while and I will I promise…but look !! (I took this ss yesterday ignore the date)
Dazai just like me fr
I wonder about Han Sooyoung a lot. How could someone (3rd round) who had only met and known you for less than 4 years would be willing to wait for you for 50 years and then regress and experience hell all over again just to bring you back? How could that someone's other self (1864th round) in another timeline who had also only met and known you for a couple of weeks would be willing to spend 13 years of their remaining life writing a story for you everyday and doomed the entire world just so you could survive?
But when I really think about it—for Han Sooyoung—it did make sense.
Ever since she was born, she was neither wanted nor needed by anyone. Her parents would rather have her not exist. At some point, she also had a friend who set her up to blind dates but with how HSY only mentioned her once and never again throughout the story, perhaps that person wasn't really important to her either. So for the past 26 years, HSY had lived her life alone thinking if the world didn't need nor want her, then she didn't care for the world either.
Perhaps, at some point, she would even think that even if she were to disappear, no one would miss and mourn for her.
So imagine her surprise, when—for the first time ever—someone told her that she was needed. That he didn't want her to become a character. That he was willing to leave his life in her hands. That even if she ran away and hid somewhere, he would still look for her. That he believed in her to take care of the companions he left behind. That he didn't want to extend her 50 years of suffering if he could help it. That he wouldn't let her go because he hadn't heard the conclusion of the story from her yet. That he would cry if she died.
Their relationship might have started out of necessity—they were in an apocalypse after all—and HSY understood that they were merely using each other for their own benefits (plus they were enemies at first, too!). But then Kim Dokja lied about her being his friend before the scenarios (which when I think about it is technically not a lie because she was basically his confidant from his teenage years through adulthood during their exchanges in [Ways of Survival]'s comment section and DMs but they both didn't know that) when he didn't have to and the rest was history. She ended up being his companion for real.
KDJ might have only needed her at first but now he wanted her to be there in the ending he envisioned.
For the first time, HSY was needed and wanted. For the first time, someone was glad that she existed.
So even if it were measly 4 years for her 3rd round and a couple of weeks or so for her 1864th round, meeting him was enough to make an impact in her life. The amount of time spent together was not important but the short time that mattered did.
She didn't care for this world to begin with anyway so if it meant bringing her sole reader back, then she would destroy more universes just for him and him alone.
For that 'small world' she didn't wish to disappear...
[ORV Chapter 533 - Epilogue 3: Author's words (2)]
Twin
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2kphoz reblogged this · 1 year ago
