I Know There’s More To Life Than All These Wasted Days

I’m beautiful but I’m broken.

I feel everything so incredibly intensely. Like a gift I haven’t learned how to use yet. I know my emotions are a blessing, I know, but why doesn’t it feel that way? Have I not met the right people? Am I not healed enough to maintain relationships with others? I wish I just knew all the answers. I guess I don’t have to have everything figured out right now. All I know is I don’t need to be cured or fixed or saved, just loved. If for once in my life I could just have that genuine love and patience - I know it would help me. I know it would heal the broken pieces of me that I cannot heal alone. I’m not giving up hope yet, I won’t. Love is out there waiting for me and I’m getting ready. I am ready. But until I find it I’ll give myself all that love I desire until I’ve loved me enough to feel safe enough to allow someone else to love me as well.

I want to be totally dominated and controlled but still loved and cared for so gently and patiently. I desire to be someone’s entire world. I want to shut up when I’m told then be rewarded and praised for my good behavior. I want to be manhandled then cuddled up. Will this love ever find me sigh

“I’m fine!!”

Literally her:

I wish I could meet a man who saw through my body and into my soul. That’s all I desire.

I wish I was better at letting go of things, people, memories. I want to learn how. I keep hurting myself by falling in love with the idea of people and not their true character. I’m tired of being a stupid naive girl. I just have so much empathy for everyone and everybody deserves a fresh start, trust and a chance. Ugh. I’m too sweet and gentle for this place we call Earth or at least the Earth I have experienced.

I want to runaway with somebody.

I’m so full of sadness