i was inspired by this post to mash two of my favorite things together so here is my two cents on what these two would be as D&D characters. i have very detailed thoughts on most of the cast actually but here's jon and martin for now. explanations for class/race under the cut!
jon: tiefling!jon is absolutely inspired. first, he deserves to have horns and a tail, it's just fact. second, of COURSE a tiefling would have feelings about being called a monster, it just fits him very well. thirdly, i also think that melanie would be a tiefling and they definitely have weird beef about jon being like "augh i'm so monstrous" while melanie is like "dude i'm literally right here, also a tiefling. come on, man." as for class, stated above. started as a goolock who thought he was just a weird wizard, but then his patron started taking a bit too much interest, and boom. weird sorcerer. also it amuses me to think about jonah/elias being like "i need to optimize my coffeelock" and trying to minmax him.
martin: human martin is important to me - he is intentionally unassuming, tries to make others underestimate him, etc, and human works well for that. in a world with gods and dragons, he's just Some Guy, and not even a guy with horns or anything. as for class, hear me out, ok. i know that bard!martin is usually the standard and i don't disagree, but i think he fits better as a paladin for 3 reasons: 1. charisma caster for sure, but he's not always volunteering to do the talking like a bard would. 2. for most of the series, he is a very intentional Protector of his people, trying to keep everyone safe as best he can - there's really nothing more paladin-coded than being self-sacrificial ok. definitely has the protection fighting style. 3. i think he deserves to have a big sword and smite people. as stated above, he was originally oath of devotion but switched to oath of the watchers after peter. oath of devotion focuses more on healing and buffing allies, while oath of the watchers is more about preparation and battlefield control, which feels more proactive in a way that i think lines up with post-lonely martin. also, it's on theme.
thanks for reading my ramble! let me know your thoughts. i will probably be making more of these (i may or may not already have dummy character sheets for jon, martin, elias, gertrude, tim, sasha, daisy, basira, melanie and georgie...) but i can't promise anything. cheers.
Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water
it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.
bonus sans below. lord help him
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Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.
Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.
Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.
Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.
ok so i need to know now - sound off in the notes if Jarlaxle has been banned from your Waterdeep tavern
Mumbo: Y'know, Grian, I've always wondered something — why are your eyes purple?
Grian, panicking: I have Alexandria’s Genesis.