When you’re out of depth, draw strength from love. Love is something they can never take away from you.
There’s been said so much that it feels like there’s nothing left to say. We’re not free. We speak up – and they condemn us. We fall silent – and they condemn us. We protest - and they condemn us. We live our lives – and they still condemn us. We try to stay sane – and nobody cares. We go nuts scrolling down neverending newsfeed only to read how much they hate us. No matter how much we do or don’t do. It’s never going to be enough. It’s never going to be safe anymore.
I hate to think of my children being raised in a world where people hate people just because they belong to this particular country. I hate to think someone is going to hurt my kids just because... You would have thought that there are nations, there are countries, who have to understand us better than anyone else, as they’ve been there themselves, only to see how ridiculously short memory can be. Even before the gates of hell broke open, I couldn’t imagine hating someone… just because. But they can. This is our new reality.
My heart aches. Sometimes it hurts like hell. Other times it’s a dull throbbing pain. But it’s always there. I just hope there’s hope… for all of us.
How do I learn to live with that legacy now?
Dear Editor,
I am writing in response to the editorial about friendship published on April 1. It deeply resonated with me and I started contemplating my own connection with someone who is based in another country. As challenging as it seems at times, it also may be one of the most rewarding life experiences.
Similar to other people mentioned in the publication, we struck up a friendship over the Internet. N. lived in London. I lived in P. Five hours difference, and a foreign language between us, yet we came along just fine. Surprising as it sounds, seventeen years later we still do. I cannot remember who took the plunge and initiated the next step forward, but at some point, we embarked on a romantic relationship. Nobody realized though how inconsistent it would be with being just friends. We decoupled a year later not able to maintain a challenging cross-border relationship, but not ready to abide by the thought of the end of years-long connection.
Having a great deal of experience of being a long-lasting long-distance friend, here is my word to share. You might find yourself struggling to stay awake for one another and lend an understanding ear to whatever problems are poured out. Your advice, however sound, might be unsolicited, and wherever the wedge is driven between the two of you, without face-to-face interaction, it is quite hard to make amends. On the contrary, it is mostly easy to remember all the significant dates, as well as to share the most private thoughts once your friend is on the other side of the phone, not the other side of the table. Little signs of affection like postcards and occasional gifts will also do the trick.
To sum it up, any real world relationship is a seemingly uncomplicated breeze to embrace in comparison with a long-distance union. However, despite its complexity, being miles and hours apart from your friend is exactly what helps to let bygones be bygones; therefore, survive through thick and thin and become true friends.
Yours faithfully,
E. K.
Photo credit: Nadine Shaabana (Unsplash)
Whenever I tell people that I usually wake up at the crack of dawn, their eyes go wide like two saucers. I then instantly bombarded with questions of how, why, and who on earth forces me out of my bed at such an ungodly hour. Once the initial shock settles though, and I share that getting up with the sun comes along with turning in with it, I'm rewarded with a look of utter disappointment. It is as if I was supposed to give them a magic pill of how to be an early riser maintaining a routine of a nightcrawler.
Sorry guys, you can’t expect to pop up eureka moments if your body’s basic need for sleep goes unmet. The membership at the club comes with a price - I gotta hit the hay before the ripe hour of ten.
So what’s the catch in being a lark? First and foremost, I have two completely quiet and uninterrupted hours to exercise, read, write and go over my agenda. Today my routine is heavily scripted - not a minute is wasted in vain. I also manage not to skip my breakfast (remember, it’s your most important meal of the day) and hardly ever feel rushed (bonus point: no added stress.) As a result, I feel accomplished well before most people hit the snooze button.
Ironically enough, the miracle morning of my first 5 AM awakening wasn’t miraculous at all. When my daughter was still a toddler, I put her to bed around nine. Since it isn’t uncommon for a newly-minted mother to feel extremely drained by the evening, I usually started snoring even before my little bundle of happiness/misery. As a result, my body had enough time to recharge its batteries, and by 4-5 AM I would wake up well-rested, replenished and all ready to jump on the world. Now I don’t even set an alarm - my biological clock is in perfect tune with my brain.
It’s possible that you already a morning person, it’s just your morning starts at 1 PM. Pun intended and achieved. But, if one day you choose to join the 5 AM club for real, I bet you will never find yourself mourning the fact that you’re no longer sleeping in the morning.
Read it on AO3
The X-files fanfiction "We only heal together" 2/3
Read it on AO3
2.
Mulder looked at her with those dark, intense eyes, his gaze traveling over her body. Neither would be able to explain any of what happened afterward. It could be attributed to the inexplicable slideshow they had been forced to watch or just something he saw in her eyes. The next moment his mouth was on hers. One hand was sinking deep into her hair, and the other was covering her breast.
For one millisecond she was absolutely frozen neither returning the kiss nor pushing him off, but then her arms went around his neck drawing him closer. Mulder walked her backward until she was pressed against the metal cabinet, the sharp edges of its handle digging into her back. He skimmed his hands down her sides, gripped her hips, and lifted Scully off the ground. She braced her hands on his shoulders and instinctively wrapped her legs around his midriff, the narrow black skirt riding up and bunching at her waist. The hardness of his arousal was rubbing against her core. Mulder growled in her mouth and pulled her tighter, caressing her everywhere he could reach. Scully’s heart was thudding so loudly in her chest that her voice of reason drowned in the noise, not a single clear thought in her head. When Mulder squeezed the cheeks of her ass through the thin nylon of her tights and sucked on that sweet spot behind her earlobe that always made her knees go weak, Scully let out a moan and opened her eyes. She wanted to see him. She wanted to watch.
There was a wild glint in his eyes like he was on the brink of insanity, and it immediately threw her for a loop. With her hands still wrapped around his neck, she yanked hard on his hair compelling him to look at her.
“Mulder. Slow down.”
He was tuning her out and that didn’t surprise her in the slightest. She could hardly hear herself over the tumult from the ringing in her ears. Groping, stroking, feeling her up, Mulder was acting like an overexuberant teenager on the cusp of exploding if he didn’t get inside her soon.
“I want you so much, baby.”
If that look in his eyes combined with Mulder’s erratic behavior did nothing to Scully, that ‘baby’ definitely tipped her off. She couldn’t imagine Mulder calling her that even in the throes of passion. Scully’s eyes widened in shock as it became abundantly clear that Mulder was under some kind of influence. He may have not even realize it was her in the room with him, his mind was foggy from whatever he had been subjected to. This wasn’t her Mulder. Her Mulder was caring and kind. That Mulder was churlish and indignant.
Was it some kind of perverted trick to make her finally leave him? She would never believe Mulder was capable of hurting her willingly. No. He would not.
The crystalline blue of her eyes filled with tears, but so did her mind with determination to stop her partner from his greatest fall. Overcoming a logjam in her throat and gathering all her strength, Scully managed to push Mulder off and slid off his hips. With her hands planted firmly on his torso, she said as calmly as she could.
“Mulder, stop! Something has been done to you. To us. This is not you!”
Shockingly, her resistance only added more zing to Mulder’s already steel-hard cock and he began grating himself over the layers of her pantyhose and underwear.
“Who else would it be?” he replied gruffly and with one quick motion turned her around, her back to his chest, her compact body trapped between his forearms.
Scully heaved a shuddering sigh, but it was the furthest from pleasure as it could be. Mulder tugged on her hips grinding against her ass, and it felt strikingly right and wrong at the same time. Nothing ever felt so good before. Nothing ever felt so bad before.
“Mulder, no.”
He was panting heavily into her ear, moving his lips, with a taste of water and salt from her cheek, down to her neck to bite on the tendon where he felt her pulse thrumming. Pressing all his weight to her backside, Mulder held Scully between the metal cabinet and his hard rock body, roaming with rough hands over her hips, her breasts, her stomach. Anywhere he could reach, his erection nestling right over the reddish ink of her tattoo.
“I’ve been wanting to do it since day one, Scully. I know that you want it too. Come on, help me here.” He punctuated each word with a thrust of his pelvis.
“Not like this, Mulder. Please. Never like this.”
How would they survive it? There was nothing they could possibly do to overcome it. This would create a rift so deep in their relationship, that nothing would ever be able to fix it.
What they had between them was more than a partnership, more than a certain amount of camaraderie, more than unspoken understanding. There was affection. Devotion. Love. How could it all be shattered to pieces in the blink of an eye?
One of Mulder’s hands crept under her skirt, and when it reached between her legs, she heard him tearing her pantyhose. He expected to find her all wet and aroused for him and was deeply frustrated to see that she wasn’t. Moving the gusset of her panties to the side, he dipped his middle finger inside of her to the second knuckle. He imagined her letting out a moan which would be a mixture of ache and pleasure.
What came out though was a gut-wrenching scream. Mulder covered her mouth with his big palm along with her nose making it impossible for Scully to breathe. A lack of oxygen sent her to the furthest corner of her mind, where one of the darkest memories was buried.
A ten-year old girl, a good swimmer, a natural - she wasn’t good enough that day. One moment she was diving with Bill and Charlie in shallow waters and the next, they were gone. She kept turning her head right and left rapidly but couldn’t see a thing. Utterly terrified, she failed to fathom that her lack of vision had nothing to do with her eyes, but was caused by the water itself. She was drowning. No air. She couldn’t breathe. Panic struck her and she opened her mouth to scream only to gulp mouthfuls of murky salty liquid.
That time Bill pulled her out to the surface, literally saving her life.
Here and now her life was only in her hands. Gathering her wits, Scully bit Mulder’s hand so hard that she felt the metallic taste on her tongue.
“Fuck!”
Mulder cried, pulling his hand away from her face. Scully was half ready for him to backhand her in return and used the moment to jump behind the desk, as far from him as the office allowed. She wasn’t really sure if that Mulder wouldn’t strike a woman.
The man in front of her didn’t move as he was looking at his bloody hand. When he finally lifted his eyes to Scully, she was eyeing him cautiously, her lips were ruddy red with his blood, crimson smears on her palish cheek.
All of a sudden, Mulder was back to another time. They were in their office, their real office.
“Look at you!” Scully smiled, entering through the door and handing him a brown paper bag while moving aside the photos lying in front of Mulder on the desk to sit with her hip on it.
“Is this our new assignment?”
Mulder smirked and stood up to move to the glass-encased annex, the furthest part of the office used as a minuscule kitchen, and grabbed a mug to pour her some coffee from a carafe.
She took a sip and put the porcelain cup down where both their mugs rested together: his - a huge white one with a gray almond-shaped eye alien printed on it, with milk and three sugars, and hers – an elegant golden-rimmed porcelain piece filled with pure black.
He remembered her asking him if extraterrestrials were supposed to be green, and him blowing raspberries at her, stating what a widespread misconception it had always been. It was a theory for amateurs, he said, and they were pros.
He remembered complimenting her on her outfit that day and how she lowered her eyes shyly and started fiddling with the papers on the desk.
He remembered how a red bloom of blood stained the page as she got a paper cut.
He remembered rummaging through the drawers trying to find a box of Kleenex, that, for whatever reason, was missing, and then desperately reaching out, alarmed and panicky, to grab her by the hand and take her finger in his mouth to suck on it gently.
He remembered her eyes going wide, not from the shock of his action but the understanding behind it. He couldn’t stand seeing her bleeding. Not again. He couldn’t stand seeing her hurt. Not ever.
A red bloom of blood stained the page as she got a paper cut.
There was blood on his fingers. Blood on her lips.
“Oh Scully,” he whispered as realization dawned on him.
“Scully… Scully… Scully,” Mulder whispered suddenly completely drained. “Oh God, Scully. I’m so sorry.”
She was right at his side. He could feel her feathery light touch on his cheek, her strong hands pulling him into a tight embrace, her soft breaths on his neck.
She didn’t let go of him as they slid together down the wall. She didn’t let go when he broke into sobs, gently rocking her on his lap.
“I’m so sorry, Scully. I’m so sorry.”
Mulder took her hand and brought it to his lips, trying to soothe and kiss away the pain he knew was in her heart, his tears mingling with the red streaks on her ashen skin.
“It’s OK, Mulder. We are going to be OK.”
They seemed so unfixable and irrecoverable, and she knew that it would only add to Mulder’s guilt. Scully had no idea how but she would fix it. They would fix it. “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from you, Mulder.”
When Mulder felt Scully’s weight changing on his lap almost imperceptibly, he looked back at his arms, and it was like she was slipping away through his fingers. Melting like ice, leaking through the cracks, soaking his clothes, and pooling in puddles by his feet.
“Scully?” he cried. “No, don’t go. Stay with me.”
He tried to squeeze her harder, to hold her as close as possible, to keep her solid and warm.
“Don’t leave me, Scully.”
He shook his head refusing to believe in the reality of the scene unfolding, his head pounding, eyes shut tightly. When he summoned up the courage to open them again, he was sitting on the floor in the pool of water and blood, his arms empty, and the rays of light were turning into snowflakes and falling down from the ceiling, whirling around him - tiny particles gathering in a storm in the midst of their office.
“Scullyyyyy!”
The pounding was getting louder and louder, becoming a deafening roar, the snowstorm raging and enveloping everything in blinding whiteness. His head was the epicenter of the explosion, burying under its ashes everything around, and there was a fleeting thought that he couldn’t help but feel relief. It was over. Whatever it was, it was over.
Read it on AO3
These two were quite intensive, but after my second lesson, I seem to catch the flow and start enjoying the process.
Week 5.
✅Teaching practice started. Two 4-hour long sessions. Not the real practice though. Just a tiny part of it, where we designed a short “getting to know you” activity, observed our tutor and under her careful guidance planned our first lesson.
✅Another live session about phonology and pronunciation. One cool insight I took from that session: phonology is actually FUNology!
✅Assignment 2 was submitted.
✅Assignment 3 returned and resubmitted and now it's a pass.
✅3 more modules on the platform.
Week 6
Teaching for real.
✅ my first lesson was reading. No big deal (ha-ha), 16 students(😱), and your typical lead-in-prediction-pre-teach vocabulary-reading for gist-reading for details-follow-up productive skills task type of reading.
It was a blast. Seriously. The tutor gave me a few suggestions, but, all in all, she said it had been a success for the first lesson.
✅ my second lesson was grammar. The Present perfect vs the Past simple. I struggled with my timing, as the MFPA analysis took longer than I planned, and I felt like I had to give them all and everything in terms of Meaning, Form, Pronunciation, and Appropriacy. It wasn’t a failure, I got “to standard” for it, but looking back at it, I’d have changed a number of things. The most valuable advice from my Tutor was - prioritize.
✅ 3 more units on the platform
✅ started planning my assignment 1, which includes an interview with one of the students👌should be interesting!
Tomorrow I have a listening lesson. I’m well-prepared and pretty confident.
✅2/8 done. 6 more to go. 2 more with my pre-intermediate group, and then 4 more with Upper-Intermediate students.
Wish me luck ✌️🍾
In the photo, things I'm going to do right after I give my last lesson 😂
Prompt: In many countries juvenile or child crime is on the increase. What are the reasons for this and what are the solutions.
It is a well-known fact that some countries have a high rate of juvenile crime which increases annually mostly due to the lack of pastoral care by relatives. Many children have to be on their own, especially if the family breaks up. It is common that single parents tend to pay less attention to their children's whereabouts and activities since they have to work a lot to be able to earn enough for a living. The lack of money often results in poor housing; therefore, youngsters who live in bad conditions may feel envious of their richer mates and turn to stealing.
There are several solutions for that problem. Governments should put higher involvement in child development. Programs related to after-school activities for teenagers should be promoted. If we can occupy adolescents with sports and other interesting things to do which will be accessible and available for anyone for free, we can succeed in reducing the crime rates in this age category. Social services need to collaborate with employers to provide young people with part-time jobs that they can manage with their school studies. This will give them the opportunity to earn some pocket money and feel less dependent on their parents.
I believe that children turn into criminals due to several reasons but the main ones always root in the family. It all comes from the atmosphere in one particular kin and this is where governments can help. Parents should spend more time with their children to be aware of their interests and problems. To put it into practice, it is possible to consider preferences for single mothers and fathers such as fewer working hours a week for the same wage rates.
Photo credit: Maxim Hopman (Unsplash)
Originally written as a CELTA admission essay.
It’d be fair to say that one of my best learning experiences was the one I gained being a member of the “Teachers Teach Teachers” project. In a nutshell, that’s a program created by a teacher trainer and business coach Anita Modestova, where teachers are given a unique, almost once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be taught by their fellow teachers, teach their peers themselves, discuss the methodology aspects of the overall teaching process, as well as receive the extended detailed feedback.
As a basis, we used Hugh Dellar’s “Outcomes Advanced” coursebook, implementing both the communicative and the lexical approaches. Every month, one of the participants, was nominated to teach their colleagues and Hugh, himself, hosted workshops for teachers of the month. We discussed strategies, shared our ideas for exercises, planned the whole lesson together, and in the next meeting exchanged good and bad outcomes and what needed to be improved.
Having lessons weekly, it took us roughly three years to go through the whole coursebook. Not only I became more confident as a teacher, but I got plenty of insights as a student, especially on teaching online. It was a safe place for me to implement new ideas and experiment with my own teaching style as well as test out any unconventional methods. For instance, at one point my third-year mentor Ben Brooks pointed out how much better it might be to let all students stay in the main room for an active discussion instead of dividing them into pairs. That was when I saw that sometimes the MR works better than break-out rooms, and later that year I gave a speech at the “Meaningful Weekend” conference about the whole thing and how beneficial it could be.
All in all, I’m extremely grateful for that experience and believe that it is partially responsible for what kind of teacher I am now.
POWER IN ROUTINE
That's me on this tee. With one slight difference - we are not in the X-files universe where the Fox (supposedly Mulder) cries out for Scully in every single episode.
My version goes like that:
‘Kids! KIDS! K-EE-D-S!’
At half past six every morning.
And that’s how our day starts.
Ten minutes to lie in, ten more to wash up and get dressed. Fifteen to have breakfast. We gotta leave at 7.20 for school 🏫 which gives me a sufficient amount of time to return home and start my first lesson at eight.
I usually work non-stop until 11 or 12, and then I have a very long lunch. I might exercise (you gotta move that body around after being glued to your chair for hours on end), and watch some tv-series along the way.
In the second part of the day, there are two more trips to school and back, some more lessons, extracurricular activities, and dinner. By then, I’m so exhausted that I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
My co-star app says that I find power in routine, and I couldn’t have said it better.
Establishing a simple but flexible routine was my magic bullet to balance life and work and everything in between. Once I swallowed it, magic happened. Wonders haven’t seized since then.
As a part of my daily routine, I might write, read, cook, knit, or take a nap. The list is endless, you name it. One rule applies, though - whatever it is, it has to be scheduled and put on the calendar, otherwise, chances are I won’t get it done.
It’s all about planning.
Here goes the main question: are you a planner or more of a spontaneous kind of person? What helps you have it done?
do you have any gossamer specific fanfic recs?
I do, indeed! :DDD
Decided to pick authors who have crossover with each other, be it collaborations or dedicated mentions.
**Note**: There will be typos-- will edit them out later.
Loose chronological order below~
msk's
Home by Another Way
Neither of his parents had offered to come, so she'd stayed in North Carolina though it meant a run in with Blevens.
"You should have been with your family. Not hanging around my hospital room."
Truth be told, part of her hadn't wanted to come home and face the sadness.
Post Beyond the Sea Mulder and Scully bond over their fathers.
Final Arrangements
He'd insisted on bringing her home from the hospital, even though her mother had offered. Scully had sensed that it was important to him and had suggested her mother spend some time with Bill before he had to return to California.
Post Redux II Mulder finds Scully's pre-Gethsemane funeral plans.
The Brixton Witch by Kel & msk
She paused for a moment, one hand on the car door and waited for the lightheadedness to fade. Her hesitation wasn't lost on Mulder, who shot a concerned glance in her direction....
It wasn't as if she could order her body to hustle that cellular repair because she was tired of feeling cold all the time. If it wasn't for her silk-blend long underwear, she'd be shivering in the late October breeze.
She firmly shut the car door, and strode toward the shop. Mulder overtook her, reaching around to push the door open.
Post Redux II Scully and Mulder investigate a haunted bakery.
And So It Goes
I sat up, heart pounding, gasping for breath as Mulder stumbled into the room. His hair was sticking up in the back like a rooster's comb, and if I wasn't having a breakdown, I would have laughed. "A bad one?" he asked.
"I give it a nine." I ran a shaky hand through my hair as Mulder brought me a glass of water from the bathroom.
"Yeah, but I bet you can't dance to it," he quipped as he handed me the glass and sat next to me on the bed. I took a long drink and wondered why people bring you water when you're upset. He rubbed my back as I took deep breaths and felt my heart try to escape my chest. "Which one was it? The one on the examining table?"
I bitterly regretted telling him about that particular horror show.
Post One Son Scully and Mulder investigate another abductee case.
Jabberwocky by bcfan & MaybeAmanda & Amy & Tesla & msk & Marchmont, Lucy & Kmom
Mulder's eyes moved from Sybil to Scully. "Fro--Melvin said you had information. What's up?" he asked, the lack of expression in his voice expressing the utmost suspicion.
Sybil leaned forward, and the lazy drawl was nearly gone from her voice. "I think the company I work for is running insurance scams with the undead."
Post Bad Blood Scully and Mulder find themselves-- courtesy of the Lone Gunmen-- investigating another suspicious Texan town.
Mezzo Luna
"I think Carmela's emotions were carried through the food she cooked to the people who ate it. She was angry when she made the ravioli, and the people who ate it became enraged." He sat back and folded his arms, as if daring her to take her best shot.
Scully took a sip of her club soda and fought a smile.
Mulder and Scully investigate a town embroiled with heightened emotions (and confront a few of their own.)
"The Freedom Squad Birthday by Kel & msk
"He wants a Freedom Squad Battle Fortress."
"I'm sure he'll like that mitt just fine."
Mulder was grinding the ball into the glove, forming the pocket. Which really wasn't necessary, but still, that's what a guy does with a new glove.
"I went to World O' Toys and Big Box Toys in Alexandria. I called a couple of stores in Arlington. I didn't get very far."
"He didn't give you much notice," Doggett said. As in, maybe if you talked to him more than once a month, you would have known earlier.
AU-- Post Existence Mulder is unstable, flaky, and constantly in and out of Scully and William's life.
mimic117's
Supermarket Sweep
Why don't they include this in the training? Especially for guys. It's gonna come up at some point. It's inevitable. You get comfortable with each other. You trust each other. You'd even die for each other. So why shouldn't you do this one little thing, too? Easy, right?
Wrong.
There's too many choices.
S1 Mulder is sent on a period shopping expedition.
One Another's Best
"I miss her, Mulder."
He places his hand on her sleeve.
"I know."
Post Paper Clip Mulder understands why Scully is snappy at work.
War Stories
How do you burn a ring inside a shirt cuff? He just smirked when I asked about that one.
He does that a lot. Never really explains anything, just shrugs or smirks.
Post Bad Blood Mulder's dry cleaner is used to regular damage.
Imperfect Penance
It's a dangerous assignment, I won't kid you about that. I knew what I was getting into from the start, although I wasn't happy about going in without backup. Still, Skinner was right. I couldn't risk the operation just because I feel naked without her next to me. But she found out anyway. Wish I could have seen her worming the details out of Skinner.
Pine Bluff Variant Mulder is glad to have Scully on the "in."
Getting By
It took a moment to achieve upright and stable, but once she did, Scully found she could shuffle with the best of the octogenarians. She'd made it around the bed, on a steady course to reach the door in under twenty minutes, when she remembered two things. One, there was someone in her apartment. Chances were really good that it was just her mother, who'd called the previous night and used her maternal radar to deduce her child's state of health. But two, she couldn't be sure of that and her gun was safely locked away in her end table. She turned and looked. Way back there. On the other side of the bed.
She swiveled slowly toward the door again and caught sight of the baseball bat standing in the corner.
S6 (or S7) Scully is very sick... and very loopy.
Jersey-deviled
"So *anyway*.... I'd just gotten close to the door when it opened again. The woman standing there yelled, 'Hey! Come on in!' and hauled me into the room."
"Did you get her description?"
"I already told you I didn't. It happened too fast, and once I was inside the room, I was mobbed."
"Right. I forgot."
Mulder and Scully, on the road with concussion stories.
Jaded
"Well, you're not upsetting me, Miss, uh..."
Ms. Cool Cucumber doesn't like it when Hotshot has to remind her of my *real* last name. Wish I could see the look she gave him. She's the one in control here and she seems to think I'm hiding something.
First Person Shooter's Jade Afterglow has thoughts after Scully and Mulder's interrogation.
Coming up Roses
"Look on the bright side, Mulder."
"Is there a bright side?"
"Of course there is. This time you weren't hurt enough to need drugs, so I won't have to listen to your snoring at night."
"Sez you. And I do not snore."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't."
Mulder is scratched up by rose bushes.
Chip Off the Old Block, Chip Off The Old Block 02 - Serendipity, Chip Off The Old Block 03 - Veracity, and Chip Off The Old Block 04 - Duplicity
Trading glances with Mulder, Charlie took on the task of deflecting his sister's annoyance. "We were almost mugged coming out of the gym, Sis. No big deal. We just didn't want to worry you."
"Yeah." Mulder dove through the loophole he'd been handed. "It was just some hop-head trying to score a little cash. We got the bad guy, the cops took him away, and we're both fine. End of story."
Glaring from one man to the other, Scully crossed her arms and lowered her brows. "Why do I get the feeling there's something else you're not telling me?"
AU-- Post Existence Mulder, Scully, and William are awash in Charlie Scully misadventures. (Turns out, William's little powers are genetic.)
Emily Sim's
Aeviternal
He closed the door and scooped up his jacket and a sweater he'd left on the couch. They joined other discarded parts of his wardrobe on his bed. Good to know the bed was good for something.
Post Fire Mulder ruminates on the word 'love'.
Softly
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. It thrums through his body with every beat of his heart, with every step that he takes towards her hospital room. How many times over the years has he done this? He’s only been gone a few minutes to grab some food for himself, but he can’t shake eight years’ worth of hospital visit paranoia from his shoulders.
Existence Mulder keeps watch over Scully and their son in the hospital.
Satchie's
Dancing with Mephistopheles
"You've sustained an injury to your left anterior cerebral artery, which has caused some hemorrhaging into your brain. That's why you're having speech difficulties and the weakness on your right side. We're going to repair the damaged artery and evacuate the clot."
Brain surgery? You've really outdone yourself this time, Mulder.
Post Demons Mulder realizes that it was Scully's blood, not her tears, on his shirt.
Renaissance de Mal
Scully glanced back at the abandoned vehicle. "Don't move. I'll bring the car over here and get you situated. Then we'll go to the emergency room."
Mulder gingerly flexed his limb. "Nah. I think it's okay. I just need to work out the kinks. Probably twisted it funny or something."
"Uh huh. It's the 'or something' that worries me.
S5 Mulder adds another injury to his list while chasing after a demon dog.
Claimed
Scully frequently volunteered to handle this unpleasant task, but his misplaced guilt prevented him from accepting her gracious offer this time. For crying out loud, he nearly died simply because he went to an out-of-town basketball game. It was so senseless and humiliating. No, he would fight this battle alone.
Mulder's insurance company has no mercy.
In Extremis
The worst part of my decline is having to face my trials alone. So many times I've debated whether or not to tell Scully about my illness, but I can't seem to arrive at a decision. For crying out loud, she's a doctor. Sooner or later she's bound to notice the subtle clues of my deterioration. Do I honestly believe I can keep this from her until the bitter end? No matter how I check out, she's going to be heartbroken.
AU-- Pre-Requiem Mulder is too afraid to tell Scully about his brain disease.
Jenna's
IOU
We spend the next few hours reliving the past 22 years through my eyes. I tell her everything, but mostly about my time spent with Scully and all that has happened to us over the last two years. She finally has gained the nerve to ask "the" question.
"This Scully, is she is a "partner?" Or is she is a "partner, partner?"
AU-- Mulder and Samantha root around in their parent's attic.
Amy's
Where are You, China Blue?
"Listen to me."
He looked off, annoyed.
"You're not listening."
"Yes, I am."
"Then stop it, Daddy. Just hear me out. I don't care anymore. I don't care. It used to be fun. It used to be this great game. 'Don't get caught, Sammy', you'd say. It was great. My whole life was great. Until last week, I thought it was going to be that way forever."
AU-- Post Redux II Samantha is sick and tired of the games.
Through the Mist
You approach my body. I expect to find shock, horror and sadness etched within every line of the face I know better than my own. Instead you are smiling, you approach me as you have every other day of our friendship, your eyes take in my body with reverence, a small smile is dancing on your lips. Your arms are held behind your back and as you approach the bed I can see the little game you have intended to play. A date. The remembrance of the word is almost unbearable. Your smile grows as you present my corporeal self with the bouquet from behind your back. I can hear you lightly mocking me, laughing at the fact that I had said that fortunes would come between us and normality. You are out to prove me wrong, not out of vengeance or spite, but because that is how you and I grow and move forward.
AU-- Scully's spirit watches a broken Mulder take her body home.
Tesla's (Site)
Get Up, Mulder
He rolled onto his side. He still had his gun. What was the problem? He felt blood trickling from his scalp. Someone must have sapped him. He was such an idiot. He wiggled his fingers, tried to send a message to his feet. They moved. Good. Houston, we have movement.
"Scully?" he said, tentatively. He was in a parking deck. Something about a suspicious sale of fertilizer. Great. Wonderful. He knew Kersh wanted to kill him, but he had thought it would be death by boredom.
FTF and S6 Mulder's many "passing out" adventures.
After the Ship
"When a man has to start all over again----when a profiler, who sees evil everywhere, has to start over again- ---how do you rejoin the world?"
Black's eyebrows twitched once. "Ah," he said. "But I have a connection to the world. I have my daughter."
Mulder grimaced.
Black reached in his pocket for a couple of dollars. "Yes, Agent Mulder, I'm luckier than you. You have to find your way back without a lifeline."
Post Three Words Mulder remains disconnected, dully wondering if he's a clone.
Kel's No Longer at Ease Here
He looked over at me, nodded, and turned back to look out the window.
"If that's true, you have my deepest sympathy," he said.
If that's true. Like I'm a liar.
"Squamash, Pennsylvania. Sound familiar?" I asked him.
That got his attention.
Vienen Doggett tells Mulder about his own experience with death.
Kmom's How I Want The X-Files To End
"Scully? You awake?"
"Sure, Mulder, I'm awake." The voice is deadpan. "I'm always awake at... uh... 3:35 am."
"Well, I was wondering... "
"What else is new? Make it quick."
"Do you think it's possible for dinosaurs to still be walking the earth somewhere?"
Post Existence Mulder and Scully have an early morning conversation about reinstatement.
bcfan's
Party Line
At Mulder's hurt look, Scully swallowed and closed her eyes. Get a grip, she scolded herself. You usually love his brilliance and energy. Thinking back to yesterday's discussion - childhood report card comments - Scully remembered she'd shared "plays well with others." Mulder had countered with "has a low tolerance for repetition."
That's the key, Scully decided. I have to find a way to pull us both out of this miasma of snarkiness. I have to give Mulder something new and different to think about.
Post Firewalker quarantine slumber party.
Wired
"I'm enlisting your help on a field assignment, but it's going to be undercover. Can you get away unofficially for a few days?"
"Well, I have some back vacation time coming. Agent Scully, might I ask-"
"No. I'm on an unsecured line. Drop off whatever paperwork you need to fill out and meet me in your own car - not a Bureau car, Agent Pendrell - at the food court of the Key Mall in Frederick. It's about 40 miles from D.C. Do you know where it is?"
"I'm sure I can find it. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Scully nodded. She still had one friend in the FBI.
Wetwired Scully is on the run, calling up Pendrell for help and fleeing to her mother's.
Bon Voyage with an Open Book
"No, I'm thinking about early humans. It must have been confusing for the first people to dream - to go somewhere without going."
"I never thought of that before."
Mulder throws his arm over his eyes and murmurs. "I don't want to go somewhere anymore, Scully. It's too hard."
"Mulder, I'm coming over."
Post Paper Hearts Scully drops by with a present.
Hanukkah
Scully spotted it on a dusty shelf at a gas station QuikiMart, propped next to boxes of tinsel and faded red and green ornaments. A quick decision later, the miniature menorah was tucked into her plastic bag with sunflower seeds and a lottery ticket promising 38 million dollars.
Mulder looked surprised as he examined her offering.
"For good luck," she murmured.
Post Kaddish Scully buys Mulder a menorah.
Twin Paradox, A New Interpretation
"Perfect timing, Mulder. No haircut, but I just got rid of three days worth of beard. How are you feeling?" Scully again held the water to Mulder's lips as she spoke.
"Better," he quietly replied, then gestured weakly with his hand. "Roses?"
"From my mother. Don't worry, she signed my middle name on the card. I knew they were for you, though."
Mulder smiled, and Scully's heart turned over.
"I've been dreaming. Good dreams. You're in them, Scully."
Amor Fati Mulder recovers in an old folks' home.
The Breakfast Club
"I'm cooking this morning, Mulder. Do you have a toaster?"
"Of course. This place has all the accoutrements of civilized dining."
Scully stepped into the kitchen. "Where is it?"
Mulder squeezed around her and crouched low, fishing with long arms in the back of a bottom cabinet. "Ta da." He held up an avocado clunker from the 1970s, covered in grime.
Post Amor Fati Scully keeps Mulder well-fed during his recovery; and he begins to return the favor.
Pine-scented
The funny little Charlie Brown Christmas tree looked almost lovely if he squinted and turned his head sideways. Lights sparkled in the windows and soft music caressed the room. It was beginning to look a lot like happiness realized.
Will climbed on Mulder's lap as he sat cross-legged on the floor, taping wires to the branches so the baby couldn't pull on them. Will drooled on his shirt and grabbed his nose. "Gah."
Post Existence Christmas, with poop and romance.
Obfusc8er's
Mandates from Heaven by Obfusc8er & Xtreme Unction
Mulder leaned against one of the columns, casually crossing one ankle over the other, and squinted. He was trying to make out the textual message in the shimmering, as he is wont to do every time he visits the Lincoln Memorial. As usual, the epistle hidden in the water eluded him. He and Samantha used to play this game as children, making up imaginary Pentateuchal directives during every visit to the national mall. He smiled at the memory of some of the more ridiculous mandates from heaven they pretended to see.
AU-- Pre-S1 Mulder sees a "happily ever after" doppelganger.
Spending Time
I close my eyes briefly, trying to blink away the encroaching fog. I bite my lip until it bleeds. Even as I fade, I want her badly. She winds her hands together and shoves rhymically on my chest in a futile attempt at resuscitation. How lucky I am that my doctor is the pathologist who never says die.
Post Dod Kalm Mulder and Scully swap music requests after a night of nightmares.
True Reflections
Over here! Don't forget me! Mulder shouts silently.
"Okay. If I'm leaving anything behind, I'll just come by tomorrow to pick it up. I'll leave you alone now." She turns to leave.
He cannot take seeing her walk away right now, and he swallows hard.
"I don't want to be alone."
Post Grotesque Scully stands by her shaken partner.
Russian Roulette by Obfusc8er & bcfan
The next time he awakens, Mulder bites his lip hard to keep silent, but he can't prevent the shakes.
Terma Mulder's stint in the Russian gulog.
Kiss and Makeup
"I got here as soon as I could. You sounded...lonely."
He lowered his eyes before saying the last word, unable to meet her gaze. She nodded at him, noting that he was no longer making an effort to pretend that his visit was anything but personal. She backed away a couple of steps, leaving the door wide open. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He stood fidgeting with the cuff of his trench coat, waiting for a cue, for a hint of what she needed from him. He was willing to do anything for her.
She wanted to let him hold her, but a lump was growing in her throat. She was busy trying desperately not to cry in front of him.
Pre-Gethsemane Scully and Mulder have a frank conversation about her health.
Reverto Ad Noctum
I can smell your fear.
Detour-- the Mothman's perspectives.
Convergence
Everything is running smoothly, and it all results in a living being, itself interacting with other beings in much the same way the wandering atoms within it do. The organism moves, communicates with, and manipulates members of its own and other kinds to become a part of an always-jostling, writhing whole conglomeration clinging precariously to a tilted, rolling rock. The system is humming along nicely, taking care of itself quite well.
And then something goes terribly wrong. The steady fluid pressure inside the organism's network of blood vessels rises slightly, the heart pumping frantically. The adrenal glands release endocrine and adrenaline into the bloodstream, causing the blood to become a much more efficient oxygen carrier. The protein hasn't made it back to the lungs yet. The combination of speeding heartbeat and frantically pumping lungs makes the entire system shake and vibrate with anticipation.
Monday, and one of the many days Scully lived through.
Deus ex Machina
Her partner was staring at the low tree stump upon which Legere had been splitting wood. She walked toward him, stopping when she saw the subject of his inspection. The face of the stump was sawed off with a smooth surface. The gray weathered grains were stained black and brown in a starburst pattern. Scully leaned closer and squinted. The stain was more recent and thinned around the edges, revealing its true pigment. It was red.
"It's blood," she stated, mostly to herself.
S6 Scully (and Mulder) come face-to-face with a demon on one of Kersh's patrols.
Papercut
"Don't move, Mulder. I'm not yelling. You have a concussion...among other things."
He winced as he felt fat raindrops falling on him with stinging force. Everything before him was a blur. He waited, and Scully's form slowly took shape.
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
He looked at her, but his thoughts were clouded by pain in his head.
"Yeah. Fingers."
Scully finds her partner after he narrowly escapes a tornado.
One Man's Journey
I sense a wave of trembling pass through her frame as I marvel at the implausibility of our circumstances. Her head rests against my chest, against the very place where someone, or something, split me open and tried to remove my faith in her. When they realized they could not have that, they took everything else?
Post Three Words Mulder is desperate to keep Scully around while (temporarily) helpless to re-situate back to "normal."
Waddles52 and Little Bullit 89's Spectacular Lights and Chili Nights
"The injection should make you sleepy. I'm going to talk to the manager and find out where the closest medical facilities are. You need to be seen by a doctor."
"You're a doctor," he said sleepily. The phenergan was beginning to take effect.
"That's true, but in case you haven't noticed, the vast majority of my patients are dead.
AU-- Mulder and Scully, emergency appendicitis, and an important "I need you."
bellefleur's
Kiss of an Angel's Wings
Every time he closes his eyes, he sees her face. It's been like this for months now, maybe years, but never like tonight. Never like this. The memory of those baby blues riveted to him is seared into his soul.
Post Tempus Fugit Pendrell's last, besotted thoughts.
Iced
After the fact, it was hard for Scully to describe just what had occurred since it all happened so quickly. Ernie had just finished a rousing rendition of "Rubber Ducky," and as the music changed, the other characters emerged from the curtain, one by one, for the final number. Her focus, of course, had been on Big Bird, hoping for his sake that the show could end without incident. But as she watched him glide gracefully along behind Elmo in the long line of figures circling the ice, suddenly he broke formation and made a beeline for Oscar. With a dive at the garbage can, he and the Grouch slid toward the center of the rink, in a mangled pile of feathers and fur.
Post Detour Mulder and Scully are sent on an FBI undercover mission... as Sesame Street characters on ice.
When Cows Fly
Scully froze. She stopped breathing altogether, hoping that complete lack of motion would prevent him from waking further so that she could surreptitiously pull herself away. Slowly resuming her breathing, she began to plot another run at the alarm clock when a nearby rumbling startled her.
"If you wanted to cuddle you could've just asked."
Rain King Scully is flustered by Mulder's oblivious consumption of her space.
42 Flavors
Scully turned at Mulder's voice to see him pull up alongside her, and then she followed him out the door. One of the tables they had passed on the way in was now vacant, so they took their places in the wrought iron chairs flanking the matching round table.
"So, was it a good birthday, Scully?"
"Best one I've had in six months."
Post The Unnatural Mulder whisks Scully away to get gelato.
Combustion
She and her partner had faced this situation too many times, with one possibly losing the other permanently. Had this become almost mundane for them? To someone who had never faced this trauma before, the occasion magnified lost moments and things left unsaid. But for Scully, such thoughts had not even occurred to her, until now. Was it possible that she may never see Mulder again and never have the chance to express how she truly felt about him?
Mulder survives a bomb blast cave-in; and reunites with a relieved Scully, ready to take the next step.
In Heels
You'd think by now I'd be used to getting ditched, but with Mulder, it was never about gender. Sure, he was trying to protect me from taking the same stupid risks he was, but not because he thought I was a liability. That doesn't mean it didn't piss me off, but this--this one was a personal insult. And I don't like being insulted.
Mulder's swollen ankle prevents him from joining Scully and a misogynistic detective on the field.
Mother Love
Scully had invited him to join her and her mom for brunch that Sunday, but he politely declined and explained simply, "There's something I have to do." She accepted his excuse without question, perhaps understanding, or simply respecting his need to open up to her in his own time.
Post Sein und Zeit Mulder visits Tena Mulder's grave for Valentine's Day.
Triple Returns
"The Son."
Scully and Hughes both turned to look at Mulder who had now moved into the living room and was standing over the tape outlining where the body had fallen.
"Pardon me?" Hughes inquired.
"The Son. Daniels was the only son in his family, just like the second victim of each trio before. The original killers saw themselves as an unholy trinity, and they killed along the same pattern."
AU-- S7 Mulder and Kristen Kilar meet again.
Visceral
Your focus turns back to the steel pan containing the most poetic of my earthly remains. You place it inside the frame of the scale then write down the weight. You set my heart on the cutting board and pick up a long knife, your actions practiced and controlled, almost mechanical. The blade presses against the mottled epicardium, expressing thick, clotted blood from the vessels. But you pause, held back by something invisible and unspoken, your masterful hands trembling. Turning, you look at my opened body, my innermost self exposed. A few clear drops run from beneath your mask, dripping onto the front of your gown, mingling there with a smear of red.
Post All Things Daniel Waterston selfishly watches Scully autopsy his dead body.
Then Comes Marriage
"C'mon, Scully, it'll be fun. The lights, the magic. There's no other place like it on earth."
AU-- Mulder and Scully accidentally get married in Vegas.
Arms Wide Open
It hits me again: We did it. We made a life. I can't believe it.
And once more I laugh to myself in disbelief and start crying. This seems to be an automatic response for me.
AU-- Requiem Mulder wasn't abducted; and bolts from room after being told the surprise news.
Easter Vigil
All she knows for sure is that he was dead. She held his lifeless body. She touched his decaying flesh. She stood watch as they sealed him in the casket and then lowered him into the ground.
He was dead. And then he wasn't.
He is risen.
Deadalive Scully thinks of her waxing and waning faith in miracles.
Simple Man
The moment was interrupted as Will emerged from his room and rejoined them. It was Mulder who first noticed him, and Scully followed his gaze. Their son was now wearing jeans, a Yankees shirt, a ballcap, and his baseball mitt--the way he usually dressed when his father took him to the park to play catch.
AU-- Post Existence Mulder and Scully discuss his childhood while William changes his Halloween costume.
Is There a Doctor in the House?
Mulder was standing on his desk, holding something above his head, apparently installing...
"Ceiling tiles? Mulder, what are you doing?"
He almost fell off the desk, startled by her presence, but she quickly reached out to steady him. He smiled sheepishly and climbed off the desk.
AU-- IWTB Mulder keeps putting off his doctorate.
truthwebothknow1's
Natiruvaaq
He tried to cut through the fog that left his mind in a painful vice.
Mulder, caught in the fog.
Echoes
Her aunt had been bugging her for months about coming over to spend a few days and finally meet her.
S6 (or S7) Scully vacations in Ireland, where she not only finds her own X-File but runs into her partner.
Enchanted Shores
The soft crunch of feet through wet sand broke her out of her reverie as her partner approached her, grinning like a little boy bringing her a natural sea treasure.
The man with the child in his eyes.
S6 (or S7) Mulder and Scully take a lovely dovey trip to Maine.
Home Alone
He stood at the lip of the stairs swaying and was feeling quite disorientated when the downstairs phone ringing tore a path through the cotton in his head. His good foot shifted inadvertently onto the first step but his toes could not dig into the carpet enough to stop his forward momentum. A final sway and his crutches slipped from his grasp with a clatter and he pitched forward, too shocked and slacked jawed to cry out. The hall flooring came up to collide with his nose at an alarming speed just as the answering machine kicked in.
Mulder gets into progressively worse scrapes on Valentine's Day, resulting in Maggie's arrival, Scully and Skinner's panic, and a reporter's opportunistic attempt to snap a photo.
My December
And then they found him.
Mainly because the puddle of red stood out in stark contrast to the endless white. Fortunately, they'd spotted his limp body wedged upside-down against a snow-covered rock before the last gimlet slither of light vanished over the next mountain. Only Mulder could render himself trussed up like some macabre raspberry ripple snowball....
AU-- S7 Mulder is wrapped up in barbed wire after a disastrous car accident. With no other recourse, Skinner and Scully prepare to pull it out themselves.
If I Close My Eyes Forever and Vortex
He was so excited at the thought of revisiting his old haunts and he hadn't really come down since. He called it his Oxford beat. Scully had nearly fallen out of the boat, laughing as he said it. They nearly both ended up in the river. Good memories, he was going to need them, they both were.
A sudden slither of melancholy caught her in the ribs. His hand tugging gently at hers brought her out of her reverie.
AU-- Mulder wakes from a dreamworld, nearly debilitated with serious injuries. Scully takes him to England to help him move on from the FBI; and the two-- of course-- stumble across an x-file.
Si la vie est un cadeau
I'm not the Close Encounter hero, but I'm close to something...terrible. I'm Fox William Mulder... the most colossal looser of all time. I am both found and at the same time irrevocably lost to you...to this. And I want...no need to think that I didn't have a choice, ...like Sam, that all this was inevitable for some universal goodness concept, which somehow got lost or derailed along the way. I made the choice Scully, but was it mine to begin with? Was this not ordained long ago by happenstance of my birthright? When I think of what I've cost you...
Maybe I deserve all this; perhaps everything was leading to this, in some divine plan that was kept secret from us. Though I'm sure you would be the first to tell me that, God doesn't use power tools against helpless living flesh.
S8 Mulder recounts the temporary bouts of reprieve he'd feel amidst the trauma of his torture.
BONUS
I can't bounce from this list in good conscience without mentioning Vickie Moseley and Donna and Sheryl Martin and RocketMan and Cecily Sasserbaum and prufrock's love, authors I've put a lot of hours into. However, since Tumblr has limits on links per post, I'll merely suggest you search their names (e.g. #Vickie Moseley) on this blog; and limit this rec to a fic I became reacquainted with today.
prufrock’s love/plenilune’s (Ao3, Gossamer, WBM, colonizationhq)
Malebolge
"I'm not eating a bat, Mulder. We don't have any food, no drinkable water, and you've got to be freezing. Better start climbing, partner."
"I wanted to wait until you were awake - to make sure you were okay before I left you." He's on his knees, facing me, very close. I can feel the heat radiating off him in the darkness like an aura and a warm hand touches my good shoulder. "You know I care about you, don't you, Scully?"
Something was very wrong if Mulder was saying this while kneeling on my wet trench coat, half-dressed, in a cave. Maybe he hit his head - that usually precedes declarations of his love.
"I know you do, Mulder. Just go."
"Do you love me?" He'd found my hand, holding it tightly in his.
Bad wrong.
"You know I do. What's wrong, Mulder?"
AU-- Mulder and Scully (and a tour guide) become trapped in an underground cave-in, and slowly realize they're not getting out.
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
Eugenia. An avid reader. An amateur writer. Stories. Fanfiction (The X-Files). C2 (Proficiency) exam prompts. Personal essays. Writing anything that comes to mind for the sake of writing. Mastering my English. The name of the blog is the ultimate goal of the blog. One day I hope to have posted 642 stories here.
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