The Way...

Smith family coffee order HCs, courtesy of yours truly, a former barista

@hazelnut-u-out posted a poll yesterday about whether or not Rick Sanchez is an iced coffee drinker (short answer: yes, but nuance to come) and I realized that I never came up with HCs for the family's coffee orders. I love doing this for fandoms I'm in because I barista-ed for A While and low key miss it sometimes. Anyway, headcanons!!

Rick

So in his tough guy-tortured loner-vigilante phase he was obviously an avid black coffee drinker (usually spiked). Being on the run/not having a place to call one's own he develops a taste for practicality and simplicity. Thus, he likes an easy drink you can get anywhere that is impossible to mess up. However, in a post-"Analyze Piss", post-Prime, 'Rick Sanchez is experiencing new levels of DGAF' world we get into the chaotic beverage enjoyer phase. First off, he has 100% tried every single new special drink that Starbucks rolls out. The summer skies boba thing, the oleato, everything. (He's a big fan of the Irish cream flavor when it comes out seasonally and was pissed the first time when he realized it didn't have alcohol in it.) Because Rick is hugely dopamine seeking so fun colored, fun flavored things always catch his eye. I also feel like he would majorly enjoy specialty coffee shops that do elaborate coffee drinks, like this man would fuck up a cereal milk latte. I also will contend that in this phase he has no regular order, he literally gets a different thing every time just to experiment with as many drinks as possible.

Beth

Drinks flat whites because she thinks they're classy and it's easier to have a simple coffee order for the intern at the vet to take down. I also think that she generally likes mixing caffeine and alcohol (huge espresso martini fan) and probably lost her mind on vodka red bulls in college. She also definitely had a red bull addiction to get through vet school but now she only drinks them as a guilty pleasure.

Space Beth

In honor of the fact that she's recreating her dad's 30s I think she has the same taste in coffee as a young Rick, which means she drinks it black and strong. She seems like an avid French press user and most likely has sourced fancy beans from somewhere in space (Venusian coffee probably fucks)

Jerry

Hot caramel macchiato, but he's convinced that this is the traditional way macchiatos are made and despite multiple arguments about the origins of macchiatos he is staunchly of the opinion that the actual drink is an upside down latte with fuck tons of caramel.

Summer

Pink drink purist, maybe gets matcha cold foam on top when she's feeling fancy. Although I could also see her getting vanilla iced lattes when she wants more caffeine. And if she's with Rick I can imagine her joining him in ordering crazy coffees just for fun.

Morty

Morty Smith is a fourteen year old boy, the Mocha Cookie Crumble Frap was basically made for him. It's just a fucking milkshake with caffeine, although I think that when he's with Beth and Jerry they make him get the crème version.

i spend the whole night drawing and reading fanfiction. now the sun is up, people be messaging me, I have job interviews to go, laundry to do. i have to go on with my life, live in a present. and there's nothing more dreadful than this realization.

what a bitch.

🩷

they look so cute together i cannot- 🥺

also look at Evil Morty here

guys, i'm melting😭

hell yeah

stanchez? in 2024? more likely than you think

my headcanon for actor au is that they are actually great friends on set and stella is a big Stolitz supporter🩷💕🏳️‍🌈

s o . n e a t . 🤤

Here's clean and compleate c;

"i need you to tell me that you love me."

so house doesn't tell him. instead he gives up his entire life just to be with him for five more months.

the king of burning bridges burned every single one except the one that led to wilson.