Switching Between These Every Day

Why does he need a- … oh

Timmy in a flowy floor-length gown (think Ethel Cain's white dress) with pearl accessories Bruce gifted him on his birthday

So no head

i hand batman a baby. batman takes the baby. bruce wayne adopts the baby. the baby is introduced to the family. the family is not impressed.

-

Bruce, cooing over his new baby: aw, good evening honey, did you have a nice nap? of course you did, daddy was here the whole time! *proceeds to kiss the baby’s cheek multiple times*

Damian, beside them: *actively bleeding*

Tim: do you feel it now

Tim: do you feel your significance slowly dwindling

Tim: you are a middle child now damian

Tim: do you understand your fate. a middle child, damian. a middle child.

Damian:

Damian, unsheathing his sword: not for long

Before the baby’s Arrival…

Jason, admiring a motorcycle:

Bruce: *buys five*

Jason, glances at a shirt:

Bruce: *buys every color*

Jason: *stomach growls*

Bruce: *books the most expensive restaurant*

After the baby’s Arrival…

Jason: b

Bruce, attentively listening to the baby’s babbling, not even turning his head: hm?

Jason: can i buy this

Bruce, imitating airplanes to feed the baby: sure *tosses card*

Jason:

Jason: im hungry

Bruce, playing peek-a-boo: alfred. kitchen.

Jason:

Jason: *pretends to faint*

Bruce, moves baby away to safey, not sparing him a glance: yes sweetie that’s your brother jay. can you say it? say j-a-y

Baby, giggling, slapping jason’s face: da!

Bruce, gushing in excitement, picking the baby up: da?! did you say dad?! im right here baby! dad’s here!!

Jason:

Jason, still laying on the floor:

Jason, curling up:

Tim, walking by: middle child…the curse of the middle child…

Baby:

Dick: BABY :DD!!

Baby, with Bruce:

Dick: baby :D!

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby:

Dick: baby :)

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child:

Dick: baby :(

Baby, with Bruce, whose time and attention is now solely dedicated to the baby, which means he no longer pays attention to his first child who just wants to spend time with his dad again because he misses him so much:

Dick: BABY >:[

Cass:

Baby:

Cass:

Baby:

Baby: *cries*

Cass: *narrows eyes*

Baby: *cries louder*

Cass: *hears bruce’s footsteps*

Cass, eyes narrowing again: smart baby

Baby: *stops crying* *smiles* *starts crying again*

Cass: you think dad will pick you?

Cass: *also starts crying*

Bruce, banging the door open, doesnt even notice Cass: BABY

Baby, sniffling, already being rocked in Bruce’s arms:

Baby, making eye contact with Cass:

Cass:

Cass: *starts crying for real*

Jim:

Barbara, glaring at her phone:

Jim:

Jim: haven’t seen bruce around these days…

Barbara: *glares at phone even harder*

Jim: must be busy with his new baby

Barbara: *types furiously while still glaring*

Jim: who knows how long ‘til he visits again

Barbara: *tosses phone out the window and leaves the room*

Duke, leaning against Bruce while playing a game:

Baby, on Bruce’s chest:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke:

Duke, pursing his lips: *picks game back up* *leans against bruce again*

Baby:

Baby: *slaps Duke’s game away*

Duke: IS IT ‘CAUSE IM BLACK

Spoiler, tapping her foot impatiently: ugh where is he

Batman, gliding in:

Spoiler: finally! you’re la— IS THAT THE BABY.

Batman, baby strapped to his chest, wearing their own domino mask: …hm.

Spoiler: why. did you bring the baby.

Spoiler: it’s our hang-out day

Spoiler: me and you fighting crime and sitting on rooftops eating bat burgers

Batman, cowl ears drooping: …but the baby…

Spoiler, tears in her eyes: just admit you dont love us anymore!

Spoiler: *runs off*

Batman, in shock:

Spoiler, getting in the batmobile parked nearby: how was that

Red Robin, handing her money: perfect

Robin: tt this had better work

Oracle, watching Batman pace around guiltily through a camera: it will.

Orphan and Red Hood, huddled at the back, both mumbling: he ignored us…his favorites…he ignored…

Nightwing, also mumbling: replaced again…how many more times…

Signal: *snoring*

Tim- Hey so... something occurred to me

Bernard- What?

Tim- I was the only heir to the Drake fortune, and then was adopted by Bruce, meaning I will someday most likely inherit a not insignificant amount of money from him.

Bernard- Not sure I like where this is going but continue

Tim- You're an only child, and Conner is the only kid Lex has, meaning you'll both inherit the Dowd and Luthor industries.

Conner- Are you suggesting we get married and merge the businesses into one?

Tim- That, or we get married and combine our assets, instantly becoming the richest and most powerful family in the world.

Conner- I'm not saying 'no', but I feel like this is how people start turning into supervillains

Bernard- ... Should we call Roy and see if he wants in?

normal and legally distinct way to leave a room

First Page

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posting it here because there's no chance anyone in my family would ever see it: this is how my brother's 13-year-old child decided to announce something to me

mwhahaha ok so @allie14f sparked some motivation in me to add into the meme post I did… this one is much funnier /j

Also this is what I was ORIGINALLY gonna post and then I kinda just went all over the place.