Okay I JUST Realized I Never Posted These On Here—- BUT BASICALLY, About A Year And A Half Ago I Started

bruce: ya know i read online that there was a study done on dementia, alzheimers and…and Oh! Autism *continues to talk about bullshit*

tim looking around: why did he point at me when he said that??

steph beside him: *wheeze*

tim: no no why did i remind you of autism?!?

Timmy in a flowy floor-length gown (think Ethel Cain's white dress) with pearl accessories Bruce gifted him on his birthday

No Justice League identity reveal but Nightwing gets recruited to be a member

Batman wants to keep his family safe but also realizes that his baby boy is a grown man and can make his own decisions, even if this baby gives him a heart attack.

Nightwing is strong, smart, and levelheaded in battle. He’s got a good personality that many heroes, young and old, admire greatly. It would be a great disservice to the the hero world.

So Nightwing joins the Justice Leauge.

Boom, immediately everyone feels like something is wrong. Nightwing is a legend of his own in the superhero community, just like Batman. Obviously, the League figured the only two unpowered humans in the team would get along, but this is too much

Nightwing is constantly on him. Hanging off his shoulders, playing with his fingers, draped over his lap, flipping off his shoulders??? Doing a whole acrobatic routine based on Batman’s body??? It’s strange and off putting.

Batman pretends like it’s not even happening, like he’s completely used to it.

He calls him nicknames, mocks his voice and his serious attitude, argues with him. It’s like the League has been dumped in an alternate dimension. (They’ve checked, but no… still the same dimension)

Now, something hero’s are painfully aware of is that Batman can be kinda territorial about his food. He doesn’t do jokes about trying to steal his food. He leveled Hal with such a flat stare that the man actually apologized and stayed silent for an entire lunch period

And Nightwing has grown close enough to all the main League members that he’s invited to sit at their ‘table’ for lunch. Another reason they’re suspicious of Nightwing, he voluntarily sits by Batman

Nightwing has his own food and finishes it in record speed (obvi not counting Flash) but then… he starts picking at Batman’s…?

Batman doesn’t even blink or slap his hand away. Then Nightwing opens his mouth like a baby bird waiting to be fed and… Batman feeds him??? He cuts off the best part of his steak and just pops it into Nightwing’s mouth.

Why are they both acting like this is complete normal???

Nightwing is stealing his lunches, taking snack out of his utility belt (which is just wow cause why does Batman carry so many snacks??), taking sips of his drinks or just stealing the whole thing for himself

It’s absolutely crazy

And on rare occasions, when Nightwing is eating something he doesn’t like or can’t finish, he just pushes over to Batman. And he eats it!!

The League checks again just to make sure they still haven’t been transferred to another dimension

Ra’s, admiring the Batfamily from afar: how does Bruce inspire such LOYALTY without compromising skill and endurance?

Bruce, back in the Cave: if you can do this handstand for five minutes straight I’ll teach you how to dislocate someone’s elbow without breaking it

Tim, shaking like a chihuahua: and?

Bruce, sighing: and afterwards we can run the evac simulator together

Tim now upside down: with—

Bruce: —with popcorn, yes

I’ve been searching for this this is legendary

You guys will not believe what I just ordered online.

Switching between these every day

In my mind Bruce was a low 21 when he adopted Dick. And Dick was 9. Bruce was a freaking teendad in my opinion,

The man had no idea what he was doing, how he was gonna do it, but he knew he had to take care of this kid because he knew he'd be in worse places otherwise.

Bruce did his best.

He did his freaking best even though he had no idea what he was doing. He lost his own parents so young that he knew he couldn't copy everything.

Even with Jason, Cass, he was still learning the ropes and was scared of screwing up. With, Tim, Steph, Duke, and Damian he had a bit more experience and was a bit more confident but he still doubted himself, so, so much.

Bruce did screw up sometimes. And he mentally beat himself up over it so many times. So, so many times. Tore out his hair. punched and punched and punched. Had countless sleepless nights, even after he's forgiven because deep down he'll never forgive himself.

Bruce wasn't an A+ parent as far as he saw it and he was so focused on the times he screwed up he forgot how he did better than some of the kids' bio parents.

Better than Willis Todd. Better than Arthur Brown. Better than David Cain. Better than the Drakes'.

Bruce gave up a lot for the kids whether he knows it or not.

And he was a freaking teendad.

It takes a while for the kids to realize this. Dick is the first, through small things until one day he's thinking and it hits him.

Jason is arguing with Bruce one day and sees the look in his dad's eyes. The guilt. At first he's glad to know that Bruce does regret the events in Ethiopia. Then he sees Bruce later, sitting with his head in his hands. And starts thinking. Notices the bruises across Bruce's knuckles and the battered punching bag he saw earlier.

Babs always knew. As does Cass.

Tim and Steph realize gradually over time and so does Duke. Damian gets it explained to him by Dick and Jason once he's older.

They let the man know that they're not mad (anymore, for some of them).

Because deep down, they know Bruce did his best even when he had no idea what he was doing.

One time with the Outlaws, Red Hood is helping with a hostage situation and as he helps a young man out of a holding cell, he goes 'geez how old are ya, kid?' and gets a weak '21' in reply.

At first Jason doesn't think much of it, other than how young the guy seems. More teen than adult.

Then he realizes as they finish the mission and spends ten minutes staring into the aether.

'Wasn't Dad 21 when he took Dick in?'

Halloween AU pt.2

A continuation of:

Tim centric

It’s been four months since his parents were last home. About a month since he ran out of food. Three days ago the water faucets stopped working. Good news! His parents should be home soon! They promised they’d be home for his birthday! It’s his birthday tomorrow so his parents must be home soon! Until then he’ll wait in his safe spot. Years ago he had found a hollowed out section of wall in his closet. He can hear everything in the house from that spot. It’s also the warmest spot in the house. Especially when he moves the boxes to block the draft from entering his little budding spot. With the heater broken durning the unusually cold weather, the isolation of the walls keep his little hiddy hole warm. With nothing else to distract himself from his thirst and hunger, he might as well take a nap until his parents return home.

When Tim wakes up he’s face to face with his own body. Fear and confusion runs through him. What is he going to do when his parents get home?

He fazes through everything instead of touching it. At least he doesn’t feel hungry any more.

It’s another two months before his parents return home. With that time was able to practice picking things up and interact with the tangible world. If he didn’t know he was dead he would think he was still apart of the living.

After helping his parents unpack the first thing he says is “I died while you where away”

“Don’t be ridiculous Timothy you’re just fine. Obviously you’re standing right here” his mother responds

“No im a ghost!” Tim insisted

“There’s no such thing as ghost sport cease this game at once” his father answers

“No really my body is in my closet!”

The family argues back and forth for a bit which Jack and Janet believing Tim to be playing a game. They angrily look in his closet only to not see his body. After all it’s in the hidden hiddy hole in the very back behind some of the boxes. His parents leave before time could move the boxes out of the way. His body is certainly worse for wear. Areas have puffed up in some spots while other areas of flesh has melted away. When he first woke up after dieing his body only looked like it was asleep, now it looks like it belongs in a zombie movie.

Three years later

Jack and Janet are disappointed that Tim hasn’t grown any, he makes a shrimp ten year old. Tim has stopped insisting that he’s dead. The creative punishment his parents dish out has long made him stop wanting to prove his death.

Tim still checks on what’s left of his body, it’s mostly bone now, but it’s proof he’s not crazy and that he really did die. He watched as his flesh slowly rotted away.

He’s made friends with the Waynes, they think he’s a normal human boy, all be it a bit small. He learns that other undead creatures exist, as well as other hunting beings. Jason is another undead, though he got to keep his original body. He was murdered by a clown about a year after Bruce took him in. No one has seen the clown since then though. Tim suspects that the clown may have been one of the goul’s first meals that the werbat provided. That would explain why Jason was so quick to forgive Bruce and why the clown hasn’t been seen again.

Jason brings a lot of raw meat for his school lunches, usually beef or lamb. Though recently it’s been a lot more lamb than cow, Tim wonders why that’s the case.

One day Jason drags Tim back to Wayne manor under the guise of studying for their upcoming test together. Tim was quick to bond with the rest of the family. He’s felt more at home here than he’s ever felt back in drake manner. It doesn’t take long until Tim becomes a regular guest at Wayne manor.

Even though he doesn’t need to eat, Tim never turns down a meal. In fact, he’s almost always snacking on something. Even on those cardboard cookies no one likes. Well it might be more accurate to say he doesn’t physically need to eat. He gets anxious if he hasn’t had any thing to eat for a while. It’s nice of the Wayne’s to bring him all these extra snacks though!

Two years later

Tim is a regular fixture in Wayne manor. After finding out how often his parents are away they insisted that he’d stay with them.

This brings us to the current problem. Cass needs to cast a protection charm on the manner, a ward agent an evil cult. Unfortunately there’s one ingredient that Cass can’t get her hands on.

“A bone of an unburied one freely given.”

What this means is that she needs a bone of someone who hasn’t had a funeral, which means she can’t just buy one off of a donated body. Stupid old spells with stupid specific unwritten rules that make more sense or the time period it was written in and not modern day. She also can’t look for lost hikers in the woods because they can’t give consent to being in the spell.

But Tim could help! He’s never had a funeral, and he’s here to give his consent for using his bones! It’s a win win!

While the older Wayne’s were trying to figure out how the spell would work with some from if substitute Tim convinces Jason to come help him get something from his bedroom back in drake manor.

“So what are we grabbing baby bird?” Jason asks Tim

“You’ll see when we get there” Tim replies. He’s learned that he can’t convince people he’s dead. He learned that the hard way.

“Okay okay but why am I bringing a box again?”

“My boxes are all stained”

Tim brings Jason to his closet where he moves those old boxes out of the way.

“Baby bird what is this?” Jason asks a little freak out about the skeleton in the closet.

“The missing ingredient for cass’s spell!” Tim answers cheerfully.

“Tim, we can’t use this with out their permission, why do you have a corps in your closet?” Jason is freaking out that there’s a dead person in the baby bird’s closet and he doesn’t know how it got there.

“No im giving you permission to use it!”

“Tim you can’t give permission for someone else’s body”

“No! Jason you don’t understand! I’m giving you permission to use it!” Tim has frustration tears in his eyes.

That’s how Jason found out that his baby bird was dead, be the looks of it he’s been dead for a while.

“Now help me bring it to Cass?”

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?