What It’s Like To Learn That You’re Autistic As An Adult.

what it’s like to learn that you’re autistic as an adult.

“im a seed

and i’ve been sowed on to sand.

my whole life i’m raised as a crop seed, like my friends and family. so that’s what i believe i am.

but i can see them growing, and im still just a seed.

i just don’t fit in.

i wonder whats was wrong with me.

i start to think maybe i’m a bad seed, not meant to be successful.

When i turned 18 i was pulled into the ocean by the tide.

i’m panicking because i know i can’t survive out here alone. no one prepared me for this.

i get to the bottom of the ocean.

i realize this is reality. there’s nothing i can do about it. this is just adulthood.

i start to sprout.

the only way this is possible is if im actually a sea plant. but there’s no way. my parents would have told me.

but i never was a crop seed.

i’ve always been sea weed.

i start to grow.

and i realize there was never anything wrong with me.

so now i know who i am, and i can live the rest of my life. happily, a sea weed.”

More Posts from 885572 and Others

885572

1 year ago

damn… I’m writing this story about my life and I feel like nobody gets it… like it’s very much about sex and religion and all this stuff and I feel like people just don’t like it but it’s like autofiction so it’s not going to be any different like most of it is based on my real life… like idk it’s autofiction so it’s mutable but people are like “I don’t like the character or how she acts” and I’m like well that’s me and that’s how I do act… it’s fine if you don’t like it… but idk how to write it any other way????? Like I want it to be real……….. even my best friend like knows it’s autofiction and doesn’t want to be mean or harsh but like doesn’t seem to get why the character is traumatized or struggling and I’m like fuck …….. I just want people to understand what’s wrong with me. Hell, I want to understand what’s wrong with me. Like what the fuck. I know it’s not an interesting and enjoyable story for people but it’s my fucking life…. Like my best friend literally said maybe it’s holding me back to be writing about myself but what the fuck else can I say?????? Idk

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same

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885572

3 years ago

Alexithymia be like "I'm upset but I don't know why...or maybe it's depression? Possible I'm tired. I'm tired. Or depressed. No, I don't feel depressed. But I'm upset. Wait...no. I'm bored. Great...now I'm upset."

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885572

1 year ago

C. The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition.

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ocd junko is swimming

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885572

1 year ago

From Wikipedia: In the foreground, a man stands upon a rocky precipice with his back to the viewer. He is wrapped in a dark green overcoat, and grips a walking stick in his right hand. His hair caught in a wind, the wanderer gazes out on a landscape covered in a thick sea of fog. In the middle ground, several other ridges, perhaps not unlike the ones the wanderer himself stands upon, jut out from the mass. Through the wreaths of fog, forests of trees can be perceived atop these escarpments. In the far distance, faded mountains rise in the left, gently leveling off into lowland plains in the right. Beyond here, the pervading fog stretches out indefinitely, eventually commingling with the horizon and becoming indistinguishable from the cloud-filled sky.

The painting is composed of various elements from the Elbe Sandstone Mountains in Saxony and Bohemia, sketched in the field but in accordance with his usual practice, rearranged by Friedrich himself in the studio for the painting. In the background to the right is the Zirkelstein. The mountain in the background to the left could be either the Rosenberg or the Kaltenberg. The group of rocks in front of it represent the Gamrig near Rathen. The rocks on which the traveler stands are a group on the Kaiserkrone.

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, Caspar David Friedrich, 1818

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885572

1 year ago

Looking at your OCD posts have caused me to think more deeply about some things that I have considered before. Do you have any suggeastions for sites to reasearch about OCD?

yeah of course! I’ve tried to include a broad variety of types of resources, but if you want something more specific, please let me know!

here’s the DSM and here’s the ICD

here’s the International OCD Foundation

here’s the NHS page for OCD

here’s a video John Green made about OCD (which I personally found super helpful)

here’s an academic article about OCD vs psychosis

and here’s a blog written by someone with OCD

hope this helps!

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rescources

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