Still Thinking About How There Aren't Any Other Reasons To Explain How Desperate Boscha Appears To Be

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Alexithymia be like "I'm upset but I don't know why...or maybe it's depression? Possible I'm tired. I'm tired. Or depressed. No, I don't feel depressed. But I'm upset. Wait...no. I'm bored. Great...now I'm upset."

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chiho saitou’s revolutionary girl utena || さいとうちほの『少女革命ウテナ』

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B. The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Blue Lagoon Iceland from my recent trip to Reykjavik 🏔️

Telling me that being upset by my intrusive thoughts is proof I'm a good person did jackshit to help me, ngl. In fact, all it did was make me feel like I HAD to go down a spiral of horror and self-hatred any time I had those thoughts in order to prove those thoughts didn't make me a monster. I still feel like that.

But the most helpful advice I got about them was genuinely just to treat them gently. Laugh. Roll my eyes. Go "not my brain acting up again 🙄" or "Bro, I do no want to do that, shut up 😩".

Like...Telling people their suffering is proof they're good people isn't really helpful, in the long run. Or at all, for plenty of us. We need to be working WITH our brains, instead of constantly fighting against them. I have this tiny section in my journal, where when I was feeling okay, I wrote myself a note on intrusive thoughts and hallucinations and there's a line I keep in mind:

"Having thoughts-it's like an ocean; shit washes up sometimes. And then, if you let it, it gets washed away."

You have to let it wash away. You can't pick up every piece of crap that washes up and study it, keep it in your little backroom, trying to determine why it's here and what its purpose is. Babe, you're not a marine biologist. Sometimes bullshit is just bullshit and you've gotta train yourself to recognize that. You don't have to be disgusted every time you run across it. You can just keep moving.